That time I went sailing around the world and hung out with a pirate? They covered me in face make-up and drew on me with eyeliner. That time I got lost at sea and had to wake up a giant blowfish? They painted me black and white… and then later, threw a bunch of colored paint ON TOP of it. Those times I keep getting split in four different people? I was all four. We used a lot of blue/greenscreen shots (depending on which color clothes I had to wear).

And as for the age thing… you know how in that one adventure I had to keep going back in forth in age using the Master Sword… that actually worked. I’m permanently switching between 8-ish and 21-ish. And every time I’m in a new adventure, chances are I have to go all the way back to that one temple and shove the sword back into it just so that I’m the right height.

It’s screwing up my body’s natural development so much, that at time I can be the most incredibly horny 8-ish year old you’ve ever seen, and at others, I can be utterly repulsed by girls when I’m in my physical peak. 2000-2004 was an incredibly stressful time, let me tell you. Constantly switching back and forth… ugh.

At least they give me a couple of months to get used to things in between adventures now. I switched back to my mature body a couple of months ago, but now they’ve told me that they want to REDO that one where I’m constantly switching back and forth! They’re actually trying to kill me, I swear.