Comments on: Jobwatch: Marauding Demons Face An Uncertain Future

By: Nameless One

Nameless One — Wed, 12 May 2010 02:05:31 +0000

Yeah, times seem to be tough everywhere but Sigil. Things are going good for most of us. With the literally infinite amount of thugs carrying valuables, one can easily sell their possessions to the nearest shopkeeper and haul their body to the Dusties for a good bit of jink. If you berks ever need a job, I’d definitely suggest finding the nearest door to Sigil (they’re everywhere, trust me) and starting anew, especially you orcs, demons, etc- there’s a huge opening in the job market for dungeon monsters.

By: Civil Protection Officer 18902

Civil Protection Officer 18902 — Thu, 06 May 2010 19:13:34 +0000

Yeah, I’ve thought about this a lot. I mean, shit, when we finally do subdue our fellow man, take out this Freeman asshole, and the benefactors have complete control of earth, what then? I mean, surely they won’t mine our planet for all it’s resources and just leave us for dead, right? Right?

By: Job Seeker

Job Seeker — Sun, 02 May 2010 08:07:14 +0000

Please, you blokes, I’m at my Wit’s end. Here it is you all whine, whine, whine about your major franchises and how hard it is for you in a world where you have to repetitively spawn. Well BOO freaking HOO. You see, I originally got my first shot at being haunted in this UK title Ghost Master. Very Ghostbusters minus the catchy music. Great Game, and the Company went bankrupt before it even finished the cliffhanger! So I was scared out of my shorts for nothing, and worse,this great scene I had fainting to a Headless Horseman chap was just CUT. Sp I figure head east — and I end up in what I hear is a RUNAWAY hit– but it seems I didn’t read the fine print, RUNAWAY HIT in RUSSIA. Being only able to speak English (I’ve been taking night courses in Simlish, I hear there are good jobs at EA) so here I end up as an “Infected” speaking in some wonky Russian-come-survival horror timed thing called Pathologic. TIMED ADVENTURE. Shortest. Job. Ever.

It’s not that these games weren’t great, but geez, they make a whole new meaning to “army of One…. PLAYER.” I put on freaking TIGHTS until my bollocks about burst to play a gnome in Majesty — and then when they get a sequel under a new company: CUT THE GNOMES. I henched for a while at Evil Genius, which wasn’t bad work for the small number of pixels but the orange jumpsuit — ai yi yi.

So listen here, if you have your cushy workforce with respawning demons, endless mazes, and large franchises, well, quitcher whinin’ and suck it up.

And thank the THREE GODS you don’t have to wear those damn tights. Talk about giving you a “gore bag!” (No offense given, Mister Bag!)

By: Don't Lose Hope!

Don't Lose Hope! — Sun, 02 May 2010 07:36:00 +0000

There’s always will always be flesh to rend, guts to tear, and blood to drink. If we ever run out of innocents to kill, who is to say we can’t go back in time, and do it again?

By: Gore Bag

Gore Bag — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:20:39 +0000

What’s the big deal? If you’re looking for a gig, try becoming one of us. Theirs not much to it, and it seems as if most of you guys are half way their anyway.

Got legs? They’ll becomes Mutilated Legs. See that torso of yours–mutilated baby.

If your lucky you’ll get tied up to a tree by some Super Mutant, or perhaps left in the corner of some bombed out husk of a church.

Easy as pie.

By: Mate,

Mate, — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 02:30:43 +0000

You’ve got nothing to worry about. As long as there’s still two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone else dead.

By: UmbrellaCorpRep

UmbrellaCorpRep — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 02:05:16 +0000

One of the many benefits of working for the Umbrella family of companies is our unparalleled job-retraining program. Tired of your life researching unethical bioweapons that rend the very laws of life and go beyond the bounds of mortal ken? You can be retrained and reclassed as an exciting, physical life of being a ZMB-01! Special skills might even get you classed as a LCK-R or a TYR-N7. Best yet, training can happen at your current workplace, and only takes as long as the T-virus needs to kill you.

Er… forget that last part.

By: Perrytheblinker22

Perrytheblinker22 — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:23:05 +0000

No wonder these perfectly capable guys are unable to find jobs. All them Vektese immigrants have taken the jobs. That’s why I’m voting for Scolar Visari in the next election.

By: Goomba

Goomba — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:12:50 +0000

You guys really think you have it bad?
My only skill is walking into pits. I don’t even know why I do it! It’s all I got! If bowser ever takes over the mushroom kingdom what will I do?!

By: Imperial Guard

Imperial Guard — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 17:37:58 +0000

Times are hard even in the most crime-infested parts of Cyrodiil. The only person we are keeping our eye on is a certain butt-ugly alchemist with the WORST haircut I have ever seen, and I last saw him almost half a year ago!

And with the lack of a death-bringing demon worshipper cult to hunt, I fear the Emperor will disband the guard. That would be detrimental to the whole crime-busting business, seeing as how no one else but the guard has the so called “Guard Sense”, which allows me to note a crime millions of miles away and run there in an instant, yelling to the criminal how he will be off to jail.