Work Stuff

The Office Mate — A Play In Two Acts

The Office Mate is a play in two acts. It was written by Christopher Livingston.

CURTAIN UP:

INT – OFFICE WITH TWO DESKS AND TWO WORKERS. ONE WORKER IS NAMED CHRISTOPHER LIVINGSTON. THE OTHER WORKER IS NAMED PETER

PETER IS WORKING ON HIS COMPUTER LOOKING ON THE GROUP DRIVE (CALLED THE X-DRIVE) FOR SOME CONSTRUCTION DRAWINGS THAT A THIRD WORKER, NAMED MATT, WHO WORKS TWO DOORS DOWN (ROUGHLY 30 FEET AWAY) AND WHO DOES NOT APPEAR IN THIS PLAY. CHRISTOPHER APPEARS TO BE WORKING ON HIS COMPUTER BUT IS ACTUALLY WRITING A BLOG ENTRY IN THE FORM OF A PLAY IN TWO ACTS.

PETER: Do you know where the drawings are for that Railyards project?

CHRISTOPHER: Um, no. I think Matt downloaded them a few days ago.

PETER: Do you know where he put them?

CHRISTOPHER: No, no idea.

PETER: Did he put them on the X-Drive?

CHRISTOPHER: I don’t know, maybe.

PETER: I don’t see them on the X-Drive.

CHRISTOPHER: Okay.

PETER: Do you think he put them on the X-Drive?

CHRISTOPHER: I don’t know. Maybe.

PETER: Where would he put them on the X-Drive?

CHRISTOPHER: I don’t know. Did you ask him?

PETER: No. Do you think he saved them on his computer?

CHRISTOPHER: I don’t know. Maybe. You should ask him.

THERE IS A LONG PAUSE.

PETER: Did he save them somewhere else? On another drive, maybe?

CHRISTOPHER: I really don’t know. Matt would know. Matt could tell you.

PETER: Where did he download them from?

CHRISTOPHER: I really have no idea. You should check with Matt.

LONG PAUSE.

PETER: Do you think he put them on a CD?

CHRISTOPHER: I, I really, I have no idea. You should check with Matt.

PETER: Yeah, I’ll ask him.

LONG PAUSE.

PETER: Did he print them out?

CHRISTOPHER IGNORES HIM. OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE, HE SEES PETER TURN AROUND IN HIS CHAIR AND STARE DIRECTLY AT HIM. FOR ABOUT A MINUTE.

CHRISTOPHER (eventually): Sorry, what?

PETER: Did Matt print them out?

CHRISTOPHER: I don’t know. You know who would know? Matt. Matt would know. Ask Matt. He’s sitting thirty feet from here. Ask him. Ask Matt, for the love of all that is holy, just get up and go ask him.

PETER TURNS BACK TO HIS COMPUTER.

LONG PAUSE

PETER: Did he save them as a PDF?

CURTAIN DOWN:

ACT BREAK

ACT TWO:

CURTAIN UP:

INT SAME OFFICE. PETER AND CHRISTOPHER ARE STILL SITTING THERE.

PETER: Did he save them to a flash drive?

CURTAIN DOWN:

THE END

Comments

  1. Jacquilynne says:

    I think you should film it and upload it to YouTube. Guaranteed to be an internet sensation.

  2. jzimbert says:

    Bravo! Bravo! Encore!

  3. The shocking truth is how people actually do that. I do not know you manage to put up with that all day.

  4. Patrick Larose says:

    Honestly. The video idea Jac has cookin’ up sounds ballin’.

    Are you that creatively drained that you couldn’t make a few videos for the viewing public?

  5. Did he save them on an external hard drive?

  6. Do you suppose he saved them to the cloud?

  7. word problem says:

    I work with Peter! Except he is named Yvonne and is a small, Asian lady. I feel your pain.

  8. I saved them to the X-Drive, backed them up to my flash drive, saved them out to PDF and printed them.

    Then destroyed the prints, shift-deleted the PDFs on accident, restored the X-Drive from a previous backup without backing up the Railway project, locked my flash drive in my filing cabinet, and broke my key off in the lock.

    Peter, did you save them somewhere?

  9. How much money will a team get if they win the Premiership?

  10. How much money does the government take out of online contest prize money?

  11. Chris.
    Chris.
    Chris.
    CHRIS.
    Chris!!!
    CHRISTOPHER.
    Chris!!!!!!!!!!!!
    CUH-RIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
    Chris.

    Did he save them to a flash drive?

    Chris. Chris. Chris.
    Stop ignoring me, you annoying prick!

  12. actually, the best filing cabinets are those that are made of tempered steel because they are very strong ‘

  13. It could be a case of the x-files… Did they ever really exist?

  14. Once I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now every time a remark is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any approach you may take away me from that service? Thanks!

  15. Nice stuff, oki :)

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