{"id":119,"date":"2010-07-02T08:07:33","date_gmt":"2010-07-02T15:07:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firstpersonobserver.com\/?p=119"},"modified":"2012-06-12T19:56:09","modified_gmt":"2012-06-13T03:56:09","slug":"seminar-on-improving-doorway-navigation-skills-delayed-by-doorway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/firstpersonobserver\/lifestyle\/seminar-on-improving-doorway-navigation-skills-delayed-by-doorway\/","title":{"rendered":"Seminar On Improving Doorway Navigation Skills Delayed By Doorway"},"content":{"rendered":"

$\"\"$ <\/a>Brooklyn, New York — <\/strong>Citizens attending a seminar on improving their doorway navigation skills became stuck in the doorway to the community center where the seminar was being held, delaying the proceedings for several hours.<\/p>\n

The logjam occurred at 11:00 am this morning, when the door to the community center opened, then shut, then opened, then shut again, trapping several attendees as they attempted to all enter the room at the same time. There was a great deal of bumping, jostling, and walking in place, as well as a number of pleasant greetings, annoyed shouts, and several non sequiturs from citizens involved in the failed attempt to pass to the doorway.<\/p>\n

“Pardon me!” one attendee, visiting from City 17, said for the fifth time as he walked in place, slowly turned in a half-circle, stopped, and added “Reload, Dr. Freeman!”<\/p>\n

“Let’s get out of here,” whispered a former hostage from Montana, while running in place against a nearby wall.<\/p>\n

“Let’s go,” he continued. “Let’s get out of here. Come on, let’s go.”<\/p>\n

“Cheesy vaginas!” added one visitor from Liberty City.<\/p>\n

“I said come in, don’t stand there,” said a Stalker from Rostok, working as a volunteer at the seminar and attempting to help the crowd make through the doorway. “I said come in, don’t stand there. I said come in, don’t stand there.”<\/p>\n

“We’ve hit a bit of a snag, obviously, but I’m definitely pleased at the turnout,” said the seminar’s organizer, taking awkward stutter-steps as he attempted to squeeze through the doorway amid the crowd of attendees. “Walking though doorways quickly and safely continues to be a big issue for a number of people, and that really shows in how many people are in attendance. And in how many of us are stuck in this doorway.”<\/p>\n

“In hindsight, we probably should have held the conference outside,” he admitted, before freezing in place and then falling through the solid concrete sidewalk up to his waist.<\/p>\n

The seminar has hit similar snags in the past. Originally scheduled for April, its keynote speaker became stuck behind a barrel and two crates in the alley behind the community center, leading to the seminar’s cancellation. The conference planned for May began with a two-hour wait as one presenter repeatedly failed to climb a few steps up to the podium, before finally giving up and standing completely still with his arms outstretched.<\/p>\n

Not everyone attending the seminar got stuck outside the auditorium, however.<\/p>\n

“Doors have never been a particular problem for me,” said Hafid Hollowleg, a citizen of Cyrodiil, as he approached the door, faded from sight, then rematerialized on the other side.<\/p>\n

“Oh, I don’t need the seminar,” he added. “I’m just here to meet people.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"