Living in Oblivion

Nondrick Update

Well, I promised an update in April, and clearly I missed the window. But, I don’t want to break my promise — that’s just not something I do — so it looks like you’ll have to wait until next April. Seeya in 364 days!

Seriously, I’m working on it, and it should be here in week or so. It’s pretty obvious you have no reason to believe me, since I’m always saying stuff like this and never delivering. But it’s coming, and it’ll be here soon. If it’s not here soon, you’ll see it eventually. If, eventually, you don’t see it, it’ll be here someday.

In the meantime, why not subscribe to the feed? That way, you’ll know if it gets here soon, eventually, or someday without having to visit the page. http://livinginoblivion.wordpress.com/feed/

Comments

  1. Stefan says:

    Hopefully sooner rather than later, as I’ve loved reading this blog for the longest time. I’d hate to think of Nondrick’s adventure coming to an end prematurely.

  2. The Green Lantern says:

    A NEW COMMENTS SECTION!!!!!

    Kidding.

    At least we know your alive and well, Chris. I was just reading some of your essays from notmydesk and I think those could tide me over for a few more days.

    This probably just saved your life.

  3. The Impostor. says:

    So how many months will the delay of the delay be delayed by?

  4. Already did subscribe. Should I check out notmydesk?

  5. Notmydesk is really old. You know Chris’ new site is First-Person Shouter, right?

  6. The Green Lantern says:

    Yes, I do know that PS. I just thought it was nice to read about something other than TF2 for a change.

  7. Addicted says:

    I love Notmydesk so much, even though it’s old. I’ve probably read everything on there around three times.

  8. Joeman says:

    YEAH! NEW NONDRICK UPDATE! oh wait, false alarm. Oh well.
    How you fools been hangin’?

  9. tamick says:

    Translation- “hiatus”. Notice how he was careful not to use that word again? ;) Oh well, I love this blog so I’ll wait as long as i need to.

  10. I hope we don’t have to wait soon. I love this blog and can’t wait to read more adventures of Nondrick.

  11. The Green Lantern says:

    @Joeman

    We hang.

    And I still can’t believe that we have been hanging this long.

    All of that in a completely non-gay way.

  12. Yay! My excitement cannot be contained by these pixels.

  13. vadermath says:

    @Stefan: Lepo je videti nekog domaceg ovde…

    The man sounds like a countryman of mine. At least we get a new comments section, instead of scrolling for 5 minutes…

  14. Addicted says:

    Why didn’t he mention the fact we got MORE THAN 1,000 COMMENTS ON “A BITTER BREW”?

    • nancymarie says:

      Because he doesn’t read the crap you’ve been posting in a desperate bid for his attention?

      Because 95% of those comments had nothing to do with this blog?

      Pick whichever applies. :)

      • The lab coat says:

        Hahaha, well said. No doubt you are about to be verbally abused by someone but yours is a comment that needed to be posted.

      • *verbally abuses nancy* (Was that good enough?)

  15. Midget52 says:

    Because it is a sad, deppressing fact that we should suppress in our minds and never speak of again.

  16. Shatari says:

    You know Chris, as much as I enjoy Nondrick you don’t need to turn this into a job (at least not on my account). Take your time, play when you want to play, and don’t feel obligated to update just because people are demanding it. I like your writing a lot more when you’re enjoying yourself. I think that’s why this blog has been such a success, and I’d hate for you to get burnt out on it.

  17. I cannot love anymore.

  18. LeFrenchAvenger says:

    Haha, bring on the Nondrick. Seriously, this inspires me to play Oblivion again every time I read it. It even makes me want to get a computer that can actually run it properly

  19. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    well this is just great. now I have to wait AGES till’ everyone but the Hiatus Crew remains so I can finish my most recent TALE. This might take a while (sorry Michael, you had some cool parts in it)

  20. The Green Lantern says:

    Oh, so now we are being dissed because of our vocal love of Nondrick?

    Wtf?

  21. vadermath says:

    @nancie: We weren’t talking to Chris, we were talking amongst ourselves. The Hiatus Crew isn’t “a desparate cry for attention”. Here’s an idea. Bugger off.

  22. YAY!! Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry!

  23. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    yeah nancy! we were talking as much as wanted about whatever we wanted because we WOULDN’T get attention! we were just left alone, free to talk about anything without fear of jackass’s like you!

  24. KingFrozen - No longer depressed says:

    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    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  25. Mannehan says:

    This blog makes me laugh. It is a nice thing for me to wake up in the morning and drink a cup of tea whilst reading one of the funniest men on the internet.

  26. Combat wombat says:

    Vadermath u don’t have to b such ass to everyone that points out your weird babblings were a bit gay

  27. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    you only dont like them because you dont understand them, wombat. can anyone say RACISM?

  28. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    (i wasnt saying you were being racist, just that your comment sounded familiar.)

  29. unnamed feeling says:

    seems like you’re sick of playing oblivion, otherwise you’d update more, I wouldn’t be surprised if you let nondrick die at the next opportunity

  30. Combat wombat says:

    I’m just saying no one can say anything remotely negative about the hiatus convo without having vadermath bite their heads off and insult them. It’s not like u guys own the comments section just because you comment the most.

  31. I shall anxiously await the update. Don’t leave us hanging for too long! :)

  32. Guys, is it just me who think that all new commentors are being rude idiots?

  33. vadermath says:

    If that someone who is offending this place would be a fan and someone who comes around here often, I would let them speak their minds. But if it’s just random people insulting the community I spent months with, I do tend to bite their heads off.

  34. El Mano says:

    Guys, is it just me who thinks the hiatus crew are all up themselves weirdos?

  35. Combat wombat says:

    @vadermath-I understand that, ur just standing up for ur mates against ignorant people. But how do u know who the long term fans are and who the gays that mess with these blogs for fun are? I’m just saying u need to b more careful who u have a go at.

  36. Thezombiemessia says:

    YAY!

    I knew I bookmarked this site for a reason.

    I need my Nondrick fill…

  37. The Green Lantern says:

    I swear to god guys, if this shit keeps up, I’ll take my goat and go home!

  38. Joeman says:

    Jesus christ, this happens ever time. Chris updates, and these d-bags jump on the bandwagon. It’s time we lay down some ground rules. WE rule the comments page. YOU do not diss us here. WE are all nondrick fans, NONE of us mess with the site. Even if you’re a fan of Nondrick, WE are bigger fans because WE are the ones who not only check the site everyday, but have commented so much that I like some of the commenters better than I like people I see everyday. YOU do not even suggest that some of us “mess with the blog” because WE are the blog, just as much a Nondrick or Chris. YOU are just visiting, so shut your goddamn mouth, and RESPECT OUR AUTHORITAH!

  39. Well said, Joeman! So, we who ARE this blog, we are;
    Joeman, Me, vadermath, Washcloth(?), Max(?), The Green Lantern, Putzy von Putzingburg III, Aspgren(?) and KingFrozen. Sorry if I missed someone out, just tell me!
    OBEY OUR RULES, OR YOU WILL BE ERADICATED! Oh, and send cookies too! We like them.

    • Midget52 says:

      please add me. I don’t want to think i’m wasting my time.

      • The Green Lantern says:

        You are one of the fore-runners of Hiatus! I can’t believe you aren’t #1! Midget 52(and subsequently all of his other personalities) rocks!

  40. Joeman says:

    what about addicted?

  41. vadermath says:

    Good to see you here, Joeman! You might wanna know that we exchanged emails and MSN just in case one of us disappears (like Max and Washcloth). It would be cool for you to do the same…

  42. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL THE NEW COMMENTERS?!!?!?! I MEAN ALL OF THEM, EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! Phew, it’s not very often I get that upset. SO PLEASE FUCK OFF AND LEAVE US ALONE YOU STUPID IDIOTS, IF YOU DON’T LIKE US, GO TO HELL AND DO NOT COME BACK!!!!!!!! BECAUSE IF YOU DO NOT LIKE US, WHY ARE YOU HERE? Screw all new commenters!

    • Asperger’s syndrome is terrible.

    • Jaded Empath says:

      Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I LIKE CHRIS AND HIS ‘NONDRICK’ PROJECT?!?

      And not some self-important douchebags who think because they add meaningless IRRELEVANT comments to a specific-purpose blog that they in some mystical way ‘own’ that blog, logic to the contrary.

      Tell, me O Mighty and Omnipotent Michael™, if you lot ‘own’ this blog, then show me a receipt for the server fees and whatnot.

      Yeah, that’s right numbnuts, you CAN’T because you DON’T OWN THIS BLOG. *CHRIS* owns the blog, and to be honest, he tolerates you (for some reason I cannot fathom, maybe misplaced guilt – which he shouldn’t feel ANY for, if he doesn’t wanna update, so be it)

      So guess the fuck what you stupid piece of underdeveloped DNA, I DON’T LIKE YOU, I don’t like you and your ‘friends’ garbage spamming up a blog that I *DO* LIKE, and I sure as all that is holy and infernal give one HALF of a shit about your asinine ‘rules’.

      Go on, ‘eradicate’ me, since I’m disrespecting you vapid, useless wastes of air, and that apparently contravenes one of your so-called ‘rules’.

      I’m waiting, shitstain.

  43. C.M.O.T dibbler says:

    im new to this site and im not gunna lie, u guys are being portryed as real pricks (not saying u r, i havent even read previous comment sectionhs), what did u write in the previous comment boxes to get everyone to hate u so much. ( i would search through but they r reli long)

    • WE are the pricks? No, you are. We have made a small community here for us *real* fans, what’s wrong with that? NOTHING, that’s what. And you’re the ones being pricks, insulting us! Well, Dibbler, maybe you’re not a prick. Just a half prick, calling us pricks without facts. And to answer your question, we didn’t to anything to ‘make’ people hate us. It’s just that when you come and insult us, we get angry, naturally.
      So please do not insult our community and do not be a fucktard. Thanks, on behalf of the whole Hiatus Crew.

      • C.M.O.T dibbler says:

        please dont b a cock and READ my question before u start slagging me off, as i already explained i was just trying to understand why every one was so pissed off with u, judging by michaels rather shitty and unwelcoming response to a new member i would hazard a guesse that its becasue u are a bunch of stuck up “fuck tards”.

      • Midget52 says:

        I agree with the Dibbler on this one. Try keep a clear head, Michael. We don’t want the new posters forming a posse and lynching us.

      • You are a fucking asshole. He said that you’re “being portrayed as pricks”. And you are. Just ’cause you and your friends check the site every four seconds and comment ten times an hour, it doesn’t mean you’re the only “real fans”.

  44. C.M.O.T dibbler says:

    just so its clear i am just curious coz im a new member, not having a go at any of u people (question is directed at the hiatus people) Wanna get my facts straight.

  45. C.M.O.T dibbler says:

    BTW congratulations, that has to have been the least friendly introduction to an internet community i have ever received. If you are the “”real”” fans of this site then screw this blog.

  46. vadermath says:

    Well, since you were polite (I think), I will answer your question. We have been on these comments for months now, talking, having fun, and waiting for Chris to update. Then, every now and then, a bunch of people come along and call us retarded, or idiots, for belonging to this small community. And then, we bite their heads off. Simple as that.

    • Jaded Empath says:

      Nice job closing the barn door; vandermath – if you’d *actually* read dibbler’s comments, you’d realized you already drove him away, and your ‘calm reply’ is a waste of effort he’ll never hear.

      But you lot DON’T listen to what we say, you just assume we’re “insulting” you and get rude, violent and hostile.

      Wow, can’t imagine why people get rude AT YOU LOT.

      If you’d actually read what we said, you REALIZE that:
      you are posting IRRELEVANT comments on a blog THAT NO LONGER HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR TANGENTIAL “CONVO” ANYMORE.

      There’s a word for that: SPAM.

      You’re filling the comment window UNWANTED INFORMATION; you’re making it difficult – if not impossible – for people who want to READ COMMENTS *ABOUT* NONDRICK to *FIND* said comments.

      And let’s not even think about the increased storage and bandwidth fees Chris has to pay because of YOUR SPAM…

      Hang on, I just realized that Livin’ In Oblivion is not merely an independent site using WordPress’ software, but a blog ON WordPress’s OWN SITE.

      So now, disregard my previous “you’re costing Chris money” argument and replace it with this:

      Your reams of blather and babble and irrelevant conversation is FILLING UP CHRIS’ NONDRICK BLOG; there’s a STORAGE LIMIT, geniuses. And every song lyric, every ‘choose-your-own-adventure’ and every tangent you drift on with, you’re pushing this site to the point where THERE WON’T BE ANY *ROOM* for NEW UPDATES.

      If you keep this drivel up, Chris WON’T BE ABLE TO UPDATE, even if he WANTS to.

      Makes me wonder if you really ARE ‘fans of Nondrick’, if you’re taking such efforts to PREVENT ANY CONTINUATION OF HIS NON-ADVENTURE…

  47. Mehrunes Dagon says:

    Why dont you just admit it already? You’ve lost interest in the game and thus lost interest in writing a blog about it.

    Here’s this for an idea, keep up with nondrick, but whenever you play a new game, “move” him into your new game and play that game as him and blog about it.

    • Midget52 says:

      That’s actually not a half bad idea. Except there are only really two games i can think of that it will work in: Fallout 3 and Oblivion. Not many other RPGs where neutrality is a viable option.

      Damn, i was serious for a whole paragraph! Gotta say something stupid….. uhhh… PEPSI AND COKE ARE THE SAME!

      • The Green Lantern says:

        Too bad you can’t create a character in GTAIV.

      • The Green Lantern says:

        Nondrick buys a new wardrobe! Nondrick goes out to eat! Nondrick hangs out at a strip club!

    • fuck

  48. Just because you guys have commented a lot on here does not mean you own the place. You guys have been acting like real jerks to everyone who comments on here, saying they’re not “real fans” because hey didint join in on the little vigil on the bitter brew comments. I checked his blog every day, but never posted a comment. Am I not a “true fan”? Am I somehow worth less then you? What gives you that right? This is not a community, this is a blog. If you want to be in a community, take it elsewhere, and stop being jerks to new commentors, just for expressing how happy they are that chris updated and pointing out hat your little group is a bit weird and xenophobic.

  49. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    will all of you just chill out? just ignore the people who insult us, and welcome those who are new! they just hate us because they dont understand our comments, or why we do them.
    I, personally, dont think I am worth more than anyone else here PK, but after being here so long without anyone new, you can understand why some of us are a bit, uh, territorial. That said, dont just generalise all of the people in the Hiatus Crew to be downright assholes. I try to be nice, but when someone shows up who has no idea who we are or knows anything about us, and calls us, say, xenophobes, then its rather hard to keep your cool.

  50. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    that said, I’m not sure that your way of dealing with them is the most productive, Michael, no matter how much they insult us. We should just try to explain it to them, then maybe they wont feel excluded.

  51. Joeman says:

    Alright, Putzy I shall. The problem that everyone is having is that everyone is confused about who are fans of what. To be a fan of Nondrick is not a hard thing, all you have to do is read all the entires and you are done. To claim to be a bigger nondrick fan than a another person is stupid, because the maximum level of fandom one can experience is limited to the materiel, ego a person who has read Nondrick for a year really is no bigger fan than a person who just read all the entries that day.
    The Hiatus commenters on Living in Oblivion are by no means bigger fans than the people who are content to read the entries, in fact the comments rarely ever have anything to do with Nondrick anymore. One does not have to read or enjoy the comments to experience the full “Nondrick Experience.”
    The Hiatus Group is not really a nondrick fan group, it is really an online get-together of friends who share in common a love for the Living in Oblivion posts. This love is no greater than any other persons’ who have read the blog, rather the difference is that we chose to express that passion by commenting daily on the site.
    The problem that we have here is that we, The Hiatus Group, have come to think as Nondrick as our own. Because we are the only people to still comment, it is easy to assume that we are the only people that still read the blog.
    This problem started when a non hiatus commenter, nancymarie, insulted our

    • Joeman says:

      routine by stating that our comments were nonsense. Not only is this very insulting to us, who have formed a community around those comments, but the attack was more or less unprovoked. However some other non hiatus commenters agreed with her. We responded by insulting said non hiatus commenters, hurt that people would diss our group when we never did anything to them. However, some other non-hiatus readers read our comments telling said commenters to get off “our site”, and assumed that we considered ourselves to be the only true fans.
      We have NO RIGHT to tell anyone to get off the site. We do not own it. It was made by Chris, for our enjoyment. Non hiatus commenters, however do not have the right to insult us, no matter how they disapprove of our doings. We apologize to anyone who assumed that we believed ourselves to be the only true fans. You are welcome to join our good-natured tomfoolery, if you wish. However to the people, like nancymarie who feel the need to insult us for no reason, I have one thing to say to you:

      Go fuck yourselves.

      • Midget52 says:

        Woot! Preach on! Feel the power!

      • The Green Lantern says:

        Props dude.

      • Addicted says:

        I concur!

      • Jaded Empath says:

        Point of fact; it WAS made by Chris, but nowhere do I see any sort of statement that “I made this for you” or “…your enjoyment” I’m pretty sure he made it for his own sense of fulfilment, and he’s *probably* finished with it; shame if it is, but c’est la vie – it’s HIS not OURS.

        Also, I have EVERY RIGHT to tell you to SHUT UP with your irrelevant spam and completely unnecessary drivel, and here’s why – it makes it HARDER FOR A GENUINE NONDRICK (yeah, the PURPOSE of the blog, remember that? didn’t think so) FAN TO *FIND*NONDRICK-RELATED*COMMENTS*

        If someone were to start posting links to a ‘cool new toothbrush washer’ sales website, would you be offended? Upset?

        EXACTLY; now you understand how *WE* feel.

        If you really want to keep this ‘community’ of yours going, why not start up a SITE OF ITS OWN; http://www.fansofnondrick.com perhaps? “Home of the Bitter Brew Crew”?

        BUT *PLEASE* take it somewhere else where it will NOT interfere with those ‘silly foolish people’ who come to A FRELLING NONDRICK BLOG to absurdly READ COMMENTS *ABOUT* NONDRICK!

        Honestly, you’re lucky Chris is so laissez-faire about this, and about THE STORAGE AND BANDWIDTH FEES *HE* HAS TO PAY FOR YOUR OFF-TOPIC BABBLING; if _I’d_ been doing this whole experiment, you lot would’ve been banned…no, actually I’d have shut the whole site down just after Bitter Brew.

      • jaded our comments don’t make a huge difference on storage… stop being someone who thinks they know something… but they don’t. It was made by chris, and as such you cant tel us to shut the fuck up.

      • Thanks for trying to keep the peace Joeman. Empath…. now you’re being a bit of a bitch.

  52. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    that was well spoken, Joeman.

  53. Depressed KingFrozen says:

    wow… first time EVER that anyone has ever maxed out a reply

    i need a moment for th- OK moments over

  54. KingFrozen - who just realised he shouldnt have had that name says:

    goddamnit!

  55. The Green Lantern says:

    So can we all get along now? Or do we have to put up a wall?

  56. Franky says:

    U could use your forum for your convos so that the comments section can b used by people who want to talk about nondrick. Seems like a fair suggestion.

  57. vadermath says:

    Yeah, that’s a cool suggestion, I suppose.
    “Destroys Franky’s limbs with a machine gun”
    Kidding, but there are two problems with your idea. You see, once a new update arrives (even if it’s short like this) many people come, and comment for a few days, a week max, and then they leave. If we would leave it to them, this place would be dead within a month. And after the time I spent here, I wouldn’t like to see it happen. And second of all, no Hiatus member would fucking EVER leave this place. We tried with a forum, and it went on for a while, but that just isn’t it. So we’re back here. And we do talk about Nondrick. Mostly about when there will be an update of him, then much else. Honestly, what else could you say about him? I mean, he is not a person whos character is exactly open for discussion…

  58. Midget52 says:

    I still go to the forum. Does that make me a sad person?

  59. Addicted says:

    Okay, so can we all just get along and not have to insult each other?

  60. Sorry if I got a bit.. carried away. It’s just that there’s a lot going on for me, both on the internet, school, and ‘life’. OH NO I SAID THE FORBIDDEN WORD! So when you guys start insulting us, my rage took control. Sorry if anyone got their inner feelings hurt, just look at that comment as if I told you to stop insulting us. Thanks!

  61. vadermath says:

    Oh, I still check out the forum too, but no one posts there anymore. This place is waaaaay more fun.

  62. The Green Lantern says:

    I stopped posting on the forum when it got assaulted by bots asking if we wanted free ring tones.

    Anyway, I just think that the n00bs(copyright GL) are trying to find they’re place in this wild wild comments section.

    Why should we move our comments? If you don’t like them, don’t read them. It’s just going to be us in a couple days anyway.

    • Jaded Empath says:

      Why should you move your comments? Maybe BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT A FUCKING THING TO DO WITH EITHER NONDRICK OR CHRIS OR THE ACTUAL *PURPOSE* OF THE GODDAMMED SITE?

      And I’d LOVE to NOT READ THEM, but I *have* to wade through the REAMS of your IRRELEVANT SPAM in order to see any posts that…oh…I dunno – ACTUALLY HAVE *ANYTHING* TO DO WITH _NONDRICK_

      Would like to have to wade through page after page of advertising just to see a few disjointed comments by your ‘crew’? Oh yeah, you DID over on the Forum, didn’t you? “assaulted by bots” – you said so above, sorry for forgetting…

      …so maybe you should open your mind for a moment and THINK HOW OTHER PEOPLE FEEL?

      (wow the immense irony leaves me awestruck)

      Oh, that’s right, you don’t give a SHIT about people who are *actually*interested*in*Nondrick*; we are supposed to “shut up and go away”.

      GUESS WHAT, FUCKWIT. You’re NOT Chris. I don’t give sweet fanny adams what you THINK you can tell me to do, I ain’t playin’.

      If you’ve got nothing better to do than use Chris’ dime for site fees as your own personal message board, I guess the SAME GOES FOR ME.

      Freedom of speech cuts both ways, numbnuts; either:
      a) stop telling others what they can and cannot say, or b) stop SPAMMING UP CHRIS’ SITE.

      Livin’ in Obvilion for NONDRICK, not irrelevant spam!

  63. vadermath says:

    Did you see that? I was completely polite when he asked us to move away so that others can come! Chopping off fingers isn’t considered impolite if you know the person, right? Just checking…

  64. vadermath says:

    @Michael, I took a look at your youtube channel. Fucking lol’d for 5 minutes after seeing the “Hentai Slideshow”…

  65. Okay, so here comes the updated list: Joeman, Me, vadermath, Washcloth(?), Max(?), The Green Lantern, Putzy von Putzingburg III, Aspgren(?) Addicted, Midget52 & C:o and KingFrozen. Got you all, did I not?

    • Uh.
      I don’t really.. uh.. choose sides. I mainly.. wander around aimlessly. Popping in and out here and there..

      As those who know of “Maximus” (updated today) can tell you.

    • Midget52 says:

      What is it thats going on for you that would cause an angry outburst? Care to share? How does that make you feel?

      Psychoanalysis is great…

      • Lemon Boy says:

        @aspgren dude i love your blog, glad to hear youve updated will check it out right now.

  66. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    huh. has everyone gone already? that was like, 2 days.
    by everyone I mean the commenters who weren’t in the Crew. you know, ‘normal people’. they make me sick, what with their ‘normalness’ and everything.

  67. Austin says:

    Wooo awesome!

    I believed and it came true! I eagerly await more Nondrick.

  68. vadermath says:

    Nah, look at the post above mine, people.

    @Putzy: That’s how it always happens.

  69. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    how much longer should I wait before posting all the remaining parts to my recent TALE? Its finished, I just dont know if everyone else is gone yet.

  70. KingFrozen - who just realised he shouldnt have had that name says:

    You will have to wait for one blue moon. Dont believe me, google it!

  71. KingFrozen - who just realised he shouldnt have had that name AGAIN! says:

    dammit!

  72. KingFrozen - who just realised his name was way to long, and is starting to look like those people who use MSN obsessively says:

    wow…

    if only i knew what irony meant

  73. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    seriously guys, I have a 46k word document right here, waiting to be posted.

  74. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    fuck it. heres the next part. (There is more after this)

    PART 2

    “3 sheets to the wind, I’ll show you the ropes
    I’m Bitty the pirate I’ll put a hook in your throat!”
    “Yo Bitty check it out, I’m gonna slaughter your crew,
    So gimme yo’ ship,
    Or I’ma do it to you!”
    “Yarr, you killed me mates, they’re a pain in me bum,
    You can take me ship, but I’m keepin’ me rum!”
    So they boarded the ship and cast off, heading into the deep blue sea. A day of sailing later, the guys were exploring the ship when they found a woman with red eyes and purple hair. Smoking pot.
    “M-m-m-my name is MATOYA, an’ I got me some HERB
    If you find my crystal I can hook you uuuuup.
    Is it just me, or are my broomsticks talkin’?
    Crazy backwards words like Christopher Livin’ston.
    Let me take anotha’ toke and help you find ma shit
    Cos if you don’t you won’t be getting’ no HERB, legit?”
    “SHIT, break out the cheez whiz
    We gonna have a party
    We’ll find that fuckin’ crystal now break out the Bacardi
    You’ve got a sexy voice call me up some time
    We won’t be back with the crystal if you change yo’ mind.”
    So they set out to reclaim the crystal from the evil being CHAOS(sound familiar yet?).
    They conquered the lands of the north, south, east and west, and even the lands in the south-south-west(!) before they finally happened upon the crumbling fortress that CHAOS was using as his crib. Inside, Chaos peeked out the window and saw them, and began to sing himself.
    “Those fools are on their way they’ll rue the day they came my way
    I’m CHAOS! …….in the flesh!
    The fiends compare to fleas compared to me its GREAT to be pure
    CHAOS! ………..I laid Erdrick to rest!
    And one by one you’ll die by my hand
    Oh, look what I’ve become….
    This fantasy is far from final
    The worst is yet to come…….”

    END PART 2

  75. vadermath says:

    “cheez whiz”? I lol’d…

  76. Midget52 says:

    When do you get the time to write all this? Does the word “sleep” mean anything to you?

  77. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    I just have much free time. Yeah, go insult my lack of a life. Seriously though, I just find myself with a few spare minutes, so I get cracking on a TALE or something.

  78. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    only a few more comments of praise and I can post the next part! Lovin’ my job!

  79. vadermath says:

    *praise*

  80. vadermath says:

    *more praise*

  81. vadermath says:

    Now get to it.

  82. Yeah. Post your amazing TALE. And please include me again! I’m awesome (at least in your TALES).

  83. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    ok folks! here is the next part! (Dont worry Michael, you get the first verse in the last part)

    PART 3

    “Yo’ goin’ down CHAOS you shouldn’t fuck with my crew
    Or my badass boyz and I are gonna show you how we do
    You mother fucker!
    We beat you before and we’ll do it again
    Every time you fuckin’ rise until this fantasy ends
    You better stay on your guard cos when I strike your gonna feel it
    You fuckin’ piece of shit yo’ goin’ down bitch, I MEAN IT!”
    They charge into the fortress, cutting things down as they made their way to the throne room. Of course, the things they cut down were like, lamps n shit, cos there weren’t any monsters in there for some reason. They made it to the chamber and…sigh…you know what happens next.

    “Chaos I got a prob’m witcho muh fuh kin ass
    That’s why I came for the crystal so go back to the past
    Battled many foes on my way to you
    And I won’t think twice about destroying you too”

    “I won’t be so forgiving this time around…..
    I, will put you in the groooouuuuund”

    “Yoouuu can’t stop me now, I’m more powerful than you”
    “Yoouuu puny halfwit, I’ll eat you with my dick!”
    Chaos and Nondrick (with his crew) engage in a thrilling battle. Their swords clash and shit explodes for no reason as they fight. Then Chaos starts to rap some more(no more rapping after this TALE I swear to god!)

    “CHAOS reigns upon you and you question yourself
    You find that nothing but the best is ever good for your health”
    “Bitch you better go home, and cry to yo’ ma’
    Cos I been fuckin’ practicing at takin’ my time”
    “You’re good, but you’re no SEPH-IR-OTH!”
    “Your starting to PISS ME OFF!”
    The wall of the castle explodes outwards from the unimaginable amounts of sweat and testosterone, forcing the two sides to regroup before engaging again.
    “Your defense is weak
    Fought IMPS tougher than you!
    Good knight turned bad knight?
    Good knight for you!
    I got so much HP you can call me TERMINATOR
    Cos these muh thuh fuh kin muscles are buffer than Schwarzenegger’s!
    Take a tip from ma’ crew, bitch
    Its time to bow out!
    After this we’ll have a motherfuckin’ night on the town!”

    END PART 3

  84. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    one more part to go, so pile on the praise!

  85. FO3 DLC

    • KingFrozen - who just realised his name was way to long, and is starting to look like those people who use MSN obsessively says:

      he said praise! not references to other great things!

      *praise*

  86. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    *shudder* ohhhhh yeah thats the stuff. Praise is like crack to me.AND I NEED MY FIX.

  87. KingFrozen - who just realised his name was way to long, and is starting to look like those people who use MSN obsessively says:

    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    *praise*
    Happy now?

  88. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    *ecstasy*

  89. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Alright, you earned it. Michael, you get first verse, as promised.

    PART 4

    Mik steps forward to do his part, casting a spell to turn them all into 2d pixilated characters.
    “Cos it’s a random battle system an’ yo’ ass gun be hurtin’
    And I’ll be bustin’ out ma’ trix like ma’ name was Lance Burton
    8 BIT, muthafuckers and we’re fully equipped,
    With swords and staves and knives and all kindsa magical shit!”
    “This can’t be happening!
    This can’t be true!”
    “Well ima kick you in yo’ motherfuckin’ face, you’re through!
    You done it now, shut cho mouth look what you made me do!”
    Jojo enters the battle for the final verse!
    “I got a thousand voltz o’ lightnin’ runnin through ma’ veins
    3 foot of steel in ma’ hands, and its flavor is PAIN
    You been playin’ with FIR3
    Now yo’ gonna get burned
    You’re in ova yo’ head
    Another lesson to be learned
    I’m gonna run you through
    Yo’ gonna pay fo’ your crimes
    I just cast FAST
    And now yo’ runnin’ outta time!”
    “They call me CHAOS for a reason boy
    Don’t be ridiculous!
    As of late I’ve found that time itself is rather meticulous
    I am IMMORTAL!
    I have inside me blood of kings!
    You and your friends will die here
    And I’ll destroy everything!”
    “We are the GOD WARRIORS bitch, you heard what I said?
    We’re gonna end this paradox you’re only strong in your head!
    You might think your safe in this time-loop,
    But now you’re dead!”
    The three heroes rushed forward, attacking simultaneously, and Chaos exploded, showering them with livers! You see, Wood man was defeated by Nondrick earlier, then was resurrected by the four Fiends he had summoned just before he died! The fiends died to give him back his life, and he absorbed their evil energy to become Chaos! Nonny had met Mikhail after his one-time partner Chris left to kill zombies with an African lady, and they had become partners in ass-kicking! But when an ancient scroll found in Mik’s backyard said they needed an ancient mage called Jojo, Nonny used the power of the Supreme Court to send Mik back, so they could try the whole ‘reincarnate as good guy’ thing! Since Jojo had come back and grown up as a good mage, he discovered another scroll that said that 3 ‘God Warriors’ would come and save the day!

    Thank god that’s over, eh folks? Next time: YOU choose what happens next by voting on pre-conceived plot lines created by me!

    Be sure to tune in when I get around to making a new…

    TALE OF SOMEWHAT INTERESTING PLOTS!

  90. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    HUZZAH ITS OVER FO’ REELZ!

  91. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    and I’m already brainstorming for the next one! Aren’t you guys lucky that you have me?

  92. Midget52 says:

    You are a bucket of joy in a sinking ship of despair.

    I mean, awesome stories! Bring on the next!

  93. Yeah! Give us the options already! Yay! We want more TALES!

  94. usualroutine says:

    Just pointing out the fact that I absolutely love this blog (I’ve been here since fairly early on, I just haven’t posted very often) and feel that the hiatus crew… may not, exactly, be the sort of thing that attracts new followers of Nondrick. I mean, shouldn’t we readers begin attempting to gather new people to become fans, thus raising Chris’ self-esteem and, thus, posting frequency?

  95. Tharron says:

    Hail To all of ye fellow hiatus Citizens! wait! Whats tihs! Mighty Tharron has not bin missed! Read every EVERY Frakking (sorry its not good to watch a whole season of battlestar galactica in 1 sitting) comment and posted regularly and you guys dont even NAME me! *falls on floor*

    So hows these pictures of this new Update he! … Ow wait there is no actuall update just another Pre update! :D nice!

    Loving the TALES!

  96. The Master Of The Possimpible. says:

    I, for one, offer some goat stockings to our overlords.

    • usualroutine says:

      I just feel the need to point out the fact that that is the best name ever.

  97. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    its been like, six hours since the last one, but here is the first…

    Multiple Choice TALE OF SOMWHAT INTERESTING PLOTS!

    The arrow flew towards Nondirk, and he had a sudden desire to press both triggers at the same time, causing him to flip involuntarily out of the way! Straight off the edge of the cliff he had been traversing! The man who shot the arrow looked down at Nondirk as he fell, splattering into the rocky floor. He opened his mouth and was about to break into a rap – when a sword totally went through the back of his face. The Lord Of The Rings theme music started, the camera doing grand sweeps of the area around them in a really epic way. Nondrick pulled his sword out(thats what she said?) and whispered: “Never again.” before kicking the man straight off the cliff, going to go mix body parts with Nondricks twin half step brother from Venus. But then, as Nondrick sheathed his sword(thats what she said?), he heard a gun cock behind him.
    “u aint goin’ nowhers lol” said the S1n1573r V01(3 behind him.
    “Trun ound slwly fag lol” Nondrick managed to translate the mans speech to Oblivion….ion, so he turned around and looked into the dark, evil eyes of…

    A) Chuck Norris

    B) Ganondorf

    C) God Himself (AKA Chuck Norris)

    D) A Floating Nutsack

    F) A Goat

    There ya’ go, folks! Make your choice and be sure to make it very clear, or it won’t be counted. I realise that if you all chose a different choice, then theres no way I can decide and I will kill myself from the pressure. DOWNER. Seriously, though, try to work together and agree on one.
    Cant wait to start on what you all choose, so HURRY THE FUCK UP IM TIRED.

    • Joeman says:

      A or C.
      Let’s see how Nonny deals with a certain Mr. Norris

      • KingFrozen - who just realised his name was way to long, and is starting to look like those people who use MSN obsessively says:

        Woot! Go Norris!

        Did you know that Chuck Norris doesnt mow his grass? Instead he dares it to grow!

        lol

        The sun is powered by Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks!

        more lol!

    • I vote for D. I like floating nutsacks.

  98. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    hey I got it! Oblivionglish! its the language they speak in tamriel!

  99. Midget52 says:

    ANYTHING BUT THE GOAT!

    They are very majestic animals.

  100. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    uh guys, make a choice, please. so far I have 1 vote for Chuck norris, 2 Chuck Norris jokes, and a anything but goats comment. just choose, A B C D F
    its really easy!

  101. Addicted says:

    I choose G!

  102. vadermath says:

    Yes. G is good. But seriously, F.

  103. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    this might take a while.

  104. This sure took a while, so while we are waiting for the new TALE, should we do another X vs Y? Let me start:
    Goats VS Penguins! I vote for goats.

  105. Joeman says:

    Penguins. Have you ever seen that movie Happy Feet? Man, you do not want to mess with those toe tappin’ death machines.

  106. The Green Lantern says:

    I’m going to have to agree with Joeman on this one.

    Madagascar proved to me that penguins are karate chopping death machines.

  107. KingFrozen - Norris Fan says:

    I voted for Norris! did no one see that from my undying adoration?

    And the goat would win! Goat FTW!

    Goats are exactly 7.34 times bigger than penguins

  108. Addicted says:

    I agree with KingFrozen, Goats rock. Penguins just waddle around in the cold and get eaten by seals.

  109. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    fine, since people voted for nonexistant choices, we will just go with Chuck Norris. TALE coming up soon.

  110. Midget52 says:

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.

    If you can’t see him, you may already be dead.

    Also, goats rock! They have little horns. Do penguins have little horns? I think NOT! Goats are the horniest animals around!

    Hang on….

  111. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    alright, you Gree-dee bastards! heres the next bit!

    Nondrick turned around and looked into the eyes of Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris blinked his left eye, and somewhere, a terrorist exploded. Then, Chuck Norris blinked his right eye, and the moon was thrown out of orbit, only to join atmospheres with Earth in a perfect gravity abnormality celestial dance. Now, in some parts of the world, some people could jump up and land on the moon.
    Chuck Norris breathed in slightly, and poverty ended.
    Then Chuck Norris shifted his arm slightly, and Korea declared its unity ina show of friendship.
    Chuck Norris Blinked both eyes at the same time, and california broke off from Earth and formed a soveriegn planet.
    Chuck continued to point his gun at Nondrick, not that he needed it. Nondrick had to do some quick thinking to stay alive. What does he say?

    A) I…want you…..inside me…

    B) All your base are belong to us

    C) lolz i dnt want fight <_< XD fun AMIRITE :D

    D) DO NOT WANT

    E) I cant let you do that, Falco (?)

    F) /ignore

    G) PIKA-CHUUUUUUU! *emit electric shock from rubbing a ballon on his head*

    H) Show me your moves!

    Well there you go, folks, plenty of choices! And this time, one of the answers is booby trapped! If you pick it, Nondrick gets killed and you have to restart from a previous saved game! But you guys didn’t save your game, did you? Remember to tell me to save the game when you want to!

  112. *Hits Escape* *Presses Save Game* *Saves in a new slot*
    Save successfull! I’m gonna vote for B. I like that fad. Great that you voted for the goat! Awesome.

  113. The Green Lantern says:

    H.

    Captain Falcon kicks so much ass.

  114. Joeman Who is Asking Why Can't I Have A Really Long Name Like Putzy Von Putzington The Third Or Sometimes KingFrozen? Well? Why Not? I Want A Really Long Name! says:

    Oh there it is.

    • Joeman Who is Asking Why Can't I Have A Really Long Name Like Putzy Von Putzington The Third Or Sometimes KingFrozen? Well? Why Not? I Want A Really Long Name! says:

      Putzy Von PutzingBURG. Duh.

  115. I want one too! And now I have one!

  116. …somE. Duh.

  117. Vadermath Von Stop with The Fucking Annoyingly Long Names Fucking Already! says:

    Like mine?
    Anyway, I vote for B.

  118. Midget52 says:

    ….

    What, were you expecting me to have a long name? I am secure in my name choice.

    F. Totally ignore him.

  119. The Green Lantern says:

    I vote H again.

  120. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    I have:
    Two for B
    One for H
    One for F
    Ok! Looks like B it is!
    BWA-BWA-BWAAAAA! You chose the booby trapped answer!

    Nondrick spoke to Chuck.
    “All your base are belong to us!” Chucks eyes narrowed, and Nondrick violently was stabbed through the balls by a giant meat hook! He was left there for days, people laughing at him and his hooked balls as he hung there. Finally, Chuck showed mercy, and left him in a female prison. a ZOMBIE female prison! Nonny felt himself become one of them, a female zombie! Because his balls had leaked out all the testosterone! Oh how humiliating! To die in such a way! You know what the army did with all the female zombies when they killed them? They raped them! You have gotten the worst ending imaginable! Please reload a saved game, and try again!

  121. The Green Lantern says:

    See what happens guys?

    Captain Falcon could have saved us all!

  122. KingFrozen - Simple name this is not long like Michael or Joeman and will never be as long as that as long as the internet shall live, which funnily enough is forever. I vote for RELOAD or Falcon. And i just realised i didn't hit tab... says:

    ^^

    My vote is in the name

  123. KingFrozen - Simple name this is not long like Michael or Joeman and will never be as long as that as long as the internet shall live, which funnily enough is forever. I vote for RELOAD or Falcon. And i just realised i didn't hit tab... says:

    ^^

    My vote is in the name

  124. Waffles Did you know that long names are very good for your health? Although to fatties they can be a fire hazard, to the other people they improve your lifespan by 50 years says:

    I check the site every day and those idiots who keep insulting the Hiatus crew are annoying.

    I say we build a castle to keep them out, then continue this CYOA.

  125. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    thats a pretty good idea, waffles!
    now take off your pants.

    Ok, now I have 2 votes for show me your moves!
    Here we go again!(I aint waiting longer that a couple of hours from now on. I need to keep things moving!)so dont forget to vote next time!

    Nondrick turned to Chuck after reloading the game and said:
    “Show me your moves!”
    Chuck angrily busted a roundhouse kick – just as CAPTAIN FALCON zoomed in from somwhere, and Falcon Pawnched Chuck in the face! An explosion of pure awesomonion occured, and the two colossus forces of awesome caused destruction on a galactic scale!
    The bright light burned Nonnys eyes and he only had time to say one thing:

    A) Got milk?

    B) SOMEONE needs to switch to decaf!

    C) Gesundheit!

    D) Th-th-thats all, folks!

    E) Thats what…she…said?

    F) Eyyyyyyyy!

    G) *breaks into a rap*

    Ok, everyone! there you go! as usual, a lot of them are booby trapped, so dont forget to save!

  126. Addicted says:

    G!!!!!!

  127. KingFrozen - Simple name says:

    E! GO E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1ONE11!!!1ELEVEN1

    Sorry, im having a bit of a phase of thats what she said jokes…
    for example:-
    Two men are at a construction site.
    1st man: I need your wood
    2nd man: Thats what she said!
    -gives man the plank of wood-
    1st man: You nailed this pretty hard
    2nd man: Thats what she said!
    1st man: Dude, stop, seriously, how old are you?
    2nd man: Thats what she said?…

  128. E go E!

  129. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    ok, 1 G, and two Es.
    I’ll give you a couple of hours for everyone to vote!

  130. The Green Lantern says:

    F.

    The Fonz is the only person who could add into the awesomeness of Chuck Norris and Captain Falcon.

    EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

  131. gg

  132. Waffles Did you know that long names are very good for your health? Although to fatties they can be a fire hazard, to the other people they improve your lifespan by 50 years says:

    G.

  133. Midget52 says:

    D. Full of stutter-y bacon goodness!

  134. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG says:

    G!

  135. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    well, now I have 2 Gs, 2 Es, 1 F and 1 D(not counting the people who changed their name to vote more than once, like the guy who’s name is GGGGGGGGG. Yeah, just use your real name and vote once, people!) Only a couple of hours left to get some real votes in!

  136. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Addicted, do not vote again. I’m warning you…

  137. The dude who is called GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG is Addicted in disguise! Check the small picture! It’s the same!

  138. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    why do you think I just warned him? I realised that as well!

  139. Midget52 says:

    How devious. I hate people who do that.

  140. Midget34 says:

    So do I.

  141. Yeah, I realised that you had realised that just before I posted the comment, but I decided to post it anyway so that those who haven’t realised it yet now gets the chance to realise it! Phew, loads of ‘realise’ in this comment.

  142. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    SERIOUSLY though, only 1(one) vote per person, not name. And for the love of GOD dont choose G! I’m not a rap machine!

  143. Vadermath Von Stop with The Fucking Annoyingly Long Names Fucking Already! says:

    Definitely E.

  144. g please?

  145. great people with extrememly long names says:

    I’d love to see g

  146. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    thats the tie-breaker! here we go….

    Nondrick was blinded by the incredible light, and only had time to say….
    “Thats what…she…said?” His voice dropping in confidence that he’s being funny as he finishs the sentence. The awesome explosion threw him back through six different dimensions and twelve Space-Time Continiums. As usual, Nondrick didn’t stop to debate impossibility, he landed on his fat ass 12 meters from where the explosion happened. He climbed to his feet and viewed the remains of the two awesome people. There were two statues frozen in suspended animation(the stone might have stopped them moving as well) and Nondrick instantly understood that Cpt. Falcon and Chuck Norris had been frozen. Nondrick decided that he didn’t give a shit, so he left in search for something to do, and maybe some cake as well. After days and days of traveling, Nonny found an Inn called ‘Bitch-Ass Inn’. He walked inside and said to the owner:

    A) GET IN MA BEL-LAY!

    B) *Breaks into a rap*

    C) Yo dawgz gonna pop sum fukrz 2nite!

    D) *Racist Joke*

    E) Can I have one of the tables, and a bed?And your wife?

    F) Hello there, my ‘nizzle’ how are things in the ‘ghetto’? Perhaps your ‘dope’ friends and myself could engage in a ‘fly’ activity while having sexual relations with your wife?

    G) Shizz! Jess has consumed the Wentals, and the Roamers are about to be taken by the Terran-Hanstic League, while Theron lies in ruins! The Hydrogues are killing everyone!(Saga of the Seven Suns – its a BOOK, people.)

    H) Whats that, Lassie? Marthas stuck down a well? Old Jimmy Sampsons cat is stuck in a tree? Go on girl, lead the way!

    Ok, cast your votes, people! This time, all but one answer is rigged!

  147. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    oops! sorry people! It took so long to write i missed those last comments!

  148. *Saves the game* *Opens the console* *Types tgm* God Mode Enabled.

    Oh, and I vote for E. Or D. I like both of them, not sure which one I’ll go for! :D

  149. VAC Security says:

    Yo Putz, ma’ man, we detected some dipshit motherFUCKER hackin’ yo’ game.

  150. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Yeah, I saw him too. I authorise you to use any and all over the top methods to neutralise his ass.

  151. VAC Security says:

    alright, come out, you little SHIT!

  152. VAC Security says:

    tick TOCK you son of a bitch! so come out and play!

  153. Bring it on bitch! I GOT BUDDHA MODE! FEED ME WITH YER LEAD! I’M UNSTOPPABLE! Bring on your mini nukes, FACE MICHAEL! THE GODS HAVE SENT YOUR DOOM! MOTHERFUCKERS! I love that line.

  154. VAC Security says:

    I dont think you understand. I’m Valve, bitch!
    Get down on your knees!

    I’m gonna slit yo’ fuckin’ throat without leavin’ a trace!
    Without warning have a ninja star stuck in your face!
    I’m right here yeah residin’ with this sword in yo’ back
    Only a guard with the skizl would have you bleedin’ like that!
    Motherfucker I’m dagerous, spontaneous
    There aint nobody who could handle this
    I dont give a fuck, man I’m serious
    shit I’m outraged and I’m furious
    My motherfuckin’ skizl will have you pleadin’ in fear
    now let me spell it out for you
    make it perfectly clear.
    VAC GAIDEN
    NO SENSE IN HIDIN’
    I AINT LYIN’
    ANNIHILIATIN’ EM ALL
    Like the wind i’ll knock you over with a blow to yo’ face
    kill the enemies without leavin’ a trace
    Motherfucker i’m full of hatin’
    theres no debatin’
    You KNOW i’m gonna retaliate
    I wont hesitate
    I’ll ANNIHILIATE
    I’ll even creep up while you MASTURBATE.
    My motherfuckin skizl will have you pleadin’ in fear
    here lemme spell it out for you make it perfectly clear.
    VAC GAIDEN
    NO SENSE IN HIDIN’
    I AINT LYIN’
    ANNIHILIATIN’ EM ALL

  155. *turns off god mode* There! Happy now? Let’s have some cake!

  156. VAC Security says:

    CLEAR!
    Sir, moving on the patroll the perimeter!

  157. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Good work. Let that be a lesson to you all. My guards know how to rap.

  158. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    pass me that cake, michael, i have to feed my servants.

  159. Cake? You want it? It’s all your my friend, but only if you’ve got enough rupees! Too many YouTube Poops…

  160. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    how about I write up the next TALE thing with your choice(E)?

    here it is:

    Nondrick walked into the inn and said to the innkeeper:
    “Can I have one of the tables, and a bed? And your wife?”
    The innkeeper reached over the counter and –
    BWAAAA-BWAAAA-BWAAAAAAAAAAAA! You have reached a booby-trapped ending! Heres the death scene!
    – stuck his hand straight into Nonnys brain! Nondricks body went limp, as he was killed instantly! The innkepper nailed Nondrick to the wall and invited a game of darts. A game of darts WITH SPEARS.

    UBER SPEARS.

    Nondrick groin area was an instant favorite, and his manhood was humiliatingly decimated until it was nothing but a hairy soup. Yeah, you cant un-read this shit. Dont even try. In the end, they got a clown to come in and cut him up, then feed him to some pooches, just to see how loyal a hungry dog really is.
    And here…
    we…
    Go!
    Nondrick got chowed on by the dogs, and the Chinese wouldn’t extrodite one of their own, so Batman had to go to Shanghai.

    Please reload and try again!

  161. *Hands over the cake* What about D?

  162. I want G!

  163. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Nondrick went inside the inn and said to the innkeeper:
    “Shizz! Jess has consumed the Wentals, and the Roamers are about to be taken by the Terran-Hanstic League, while Theron lies in ruins! The Hydrogues are killing everyone!”
    The innkeeper looked surprised, then he smiled.
    “Its great to meet someone else who has read it. How about those Ildrians, eh?”
    “Oh, dont get me started! Remember the secret breeding facility they built on Dobro?”
    “Oh, yeah! poor Nira, man!”
    “I KNOW! I felt SOOOO sorry for her!”
    “How could they just kidnap her?!?”
    “And Jorah is the new Mage-Imperator, but he just found out the truth!”
    “Oh yeah, that ticked me off, i thought he was going to be a good Mage Imperator!”
    “Same here, bro, same here.”
    They both nodded sagely, and Nondrick payed for a room, promising to come back so they could discuss at great lengths the Wentals, and how they could fight the Hydrogues if they are just sentient water with no space ships. At night, he snuck into the innkeepers room and they had pillow fights while saying who they think is hottest.
    “Oh, Jess definately! He is so dreamy!”
    “Oh, you slut! Teehee!”
    “What about you, whore?”
    “Rob Brindle, definately. I love me some Roamer!”
    They giggled and fell asleep in each others arms.
    Nondrick woke up and took a scalding hot shower, in order to scourge away the gayness. Then he walked outside into the rain, checked his phone and saw you rang and he
    JIZZED
    IN
    HIS
    PANTS
    sorry, ill get back to the story now.
    Nondrick bought an icecream and was about to eat it, when a man riding a black horse came by and killed it, brutally severing the cone in half. What should Nonny do?

    A) GET REVENGE!

    B) GET ANOTHER ICE CREAM!

    C) GET A HAIRCUT!

    D) GET THE FUCK OUT!

    E) GET Scrubs Season 5 for only $19.99!(While stocks last)

    vote now, everyone, and rest easy that michael wont get to decide again, unless he breaks a tie!

  164. The Green Lantern says:

    What’s up dawg? GL in this bitch movin’ yo butz.
    Smokin weed, doin’ coke, and bangin’ some slutz.
    My beat will take y’all out of yo rutz.
    And my rapz are way better than that faggot Putz.
    Anyone who fucks with me will see my power.
    Dominatin mothafuckas in the final hour.
    It’s like Vegeta lookin into his scouter.
    OVER 9000!!! shit, say it louder.
    Vadermath, Michael and I rollin three deep.
    With assault rifles, tearin shit up in a jeep.
    If I run out of bullets, shit, ill just take a leak.
    I’ll spray 50 cal’s all over the street.
    Yo rapz are weak, anyone can spit a mean beat,
    but as fo me, I rap, representin D.C. like Fallout 3
    Check my Pip-Boy.
    Goin in a rap battle against me Puts, you know you gonna slip-boy.
    I’m friends with everyone like Myspace Tom.
    And if you don’t believe me, shit, then ask yo mom.

  165. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Green Lantern do NOT say you just challenged me to a rap battle. Take it back, or face the consequences.

  166. Seems he challenged you. I’ll just eat my popcorn and enjoy the fight!

  167. The Green Lantern says:

    Your terms, sir?

  168. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    *cracks knuckles*

    This is my hood bitch
    try an’ get past
    I’m Putzy, and I’m whoopin’ yo ass.
    This is my sancuary location
    go home
    before I tear the flesh straight off your bones.
    I’m TITANIC, but i cant be sunk
    If you think yo’ gettin’ past, you gotta be drunk.
    Get the fuck outta here you fuckin’ punk
    Fuck with someone else
    before I tell yo’ how much your rymes stunk!

    Okay, warm up is over. More rap when less tired.

  169. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    oh, and Green Lantern?
    If you back out now, I’ll give you some of the cake Michael gave me. I dont want to think up more rhymez!

  170. The Green Lantern says:

    YOU back the fuck out of here dawg, yo shit is weak.
    YOU say your tired? I don’t even need sleep.
    It’s startin to look like I just invaded yo place.
    Like you a tortoise, in a fuckin cheetah race.
    I’m sick of yo lies, Yo rhymes are compromised,
    Putz is gayer than 9 dudes fucking 10 guys.
    You say I stink, but I can’t fuckin stand your odor.
    You lost your last life douchebag, game over.

  171. The Green Lantern doesn’t save on his insults… anyway, I vote for E!

  172. The Green Lantern says:

    *makes really super cool rap pose*

  173. The Green Lantern says:

    Hurry up Putz, your going to be a bit late.
    Your rap is coming about as quick as the Chris’ next update.

    Snap.

  174. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    what has gotten into you, GL? You used to be cool. nevertheless,

    I dont think so,
    tough guy.
    Step aside,
    or I’ll make your dog die (lol)
    Thanks Lantern
    its not like I got shit to do
    Why not waste all of my energy
    FUCKIN’ WITH YOU?!
    To the windows
    to the wall
    to the SWEAT DRIPS FROM MY BALLZ
    I’m beatin’ you down to the fuckin’ ground
    I got a Mega-Buster for you all :P
    Putz man will beat your shit
    your hit dont you forget it bitch
    Throw a saw blade into your face
    lets face it you will taste my razor bladez!
    No fair? Your frozen in the air?
    Times on my side no time to spare!
    I’ll stab this knife straight into yo’ face
    put all you bitches in your place.

    Gosh this is fun! However much I am coming around to this idea, I live in Western Australia. ITs 11:40pm and I wanted to read more of this book called Saga of the Seven Suns. I’m sure you heard it somewhere.
    Anyway, I’m off. cant wait to start again in the morning, man! How awesome are we?

  175. Let my Awesome-Calculator take a look at it;
    Awesome Scale: 9/10! That’s awesome!
    Just do some more awesomeness and maybe the AweCalc will give you 10/10?

  176. The Green Lantern says:

    We are pretty awesome, Putzy.

  177. The Green Lantern says:

    The Green Lantern is deadly on the mic, yo.
    Compared to me, what you got in your rhymes is fuckin micro.
    It’s out of sight, bro.
    Shit, I gotta gotta get out of here and get some lunch.
    Come here, so first I can give your face a Falcon PAWNCH!
    Putz, for real, you better do some better spittin’.
    Say some stuff that you wrote, instead of what someone else has written.
    Really, quotin’ Lil’ Jon a bit won’t lose you any points.
    But stealing his whole chorus won’t bank you any coins.
    So tomorrow when we start again, it doesn’t even matter.
    Because guess who you’re up against, the Green fuckin’ Lantern.

  178. I hate you Addicted.

  179. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    whos ‘Lil Jon’?

    • The Green Lantern says:

      The “to the windows, to the wall” guy.

      WHAT

      YEAH
      OKAY?

      You know?

  180. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Okay, the rap battle kinda interupted my flow, but in the hours since I posted only one person voted, so we will go with E.

    Nondrick went to the shopping centre and bought Season 5 of Scrubs. Then, he went back to the hotel and watched it on the pissy little 4″ TV in his room. After vomiting many times from laughter, he made himself a cheese sandwich and ate it JUST AS HE REMEMBERED HE WAS ALLERGIC. What happened to Nondrick?
    Did he:

    A) Break out in a sweat

    B) Break out in a rap

    C) Break out of this popsicle stand

    D) Break out of jail

    E) Break out the Bacardi, we gonna have a party

    F) Break his neck

    Guess which one is booby trapped? Its a hard one! But anyway, dont forget to save the game before you vote! cos if you lose this one, you go back! and I have to write it up again! :'(
    You have, not a time limit this time, but I will just wait for a couple of votes before doing more.

    CAST YOUR VOTES!

  181. Addicted says:

    I gotta vote for ¨¥. I like that choice the best.

    Seriously, I think he should D. Of course, he isn’t in jail, but breaking out of jail is always cool, with the cops and the prison guards and the jailhouse snitch.

  182. Midget52 says:

    D. I want to see where he pulls a jail from.

    Also, it’s spelt “GAOL”. Speak Australian, or live somewhere else.

  183. The Green Lantern says:

    I’ve already seen Nondrick get his crotch annihilated into a “hairy soup”.

    Now a rape scene?

    How lucky can a guy get?

  184. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    well thats an outstanding majority of whatever letter was the one that he breaks out of gaol. Why the hell would you call it ‘gaol’? seriously, thats whacked out. Bitches be trippin. Represent. Seriously, or as serious as these can be, heres the next part:

    Nondrick swallowed his natural allergy, and gathered the boyz for a break out. After tattooing plans on his ass, he taped the locks and hid a minigun under his shirt. Then, at midnight, they made a break for it, mowing down EVERYONE in their way, fellow prisoners, guards, pokemon. Nondrick unleashed a hail of titanium flavored bullets into a Charizard, then mowed down a couple of thousand Squirtles. His best friend Steve got Eletrocuted by a rogue Pikachu who had snapped from the pressure. A jiggly puff pounced onto Gizmos face and began SHITTING IN HIS MOUTH. Grody!
    Nonny managed to secure a vehicle and escape to parts unkown. Its west of texas, take the 302. If you see antartica, you’ve gone too far.
    When they finally were safe and were resting at a motel, a prisoner asked Nondrick where the prison came from. Nondrick replied:
    “I pulled it out

    A) My Pocket

    B) My Ass

    C) My Lunchbox

    D) Your Ass

    E) Your mum

    F) This top hat

    G) Of thin air. I’m a wizard, Harry!

    H) YOU.

    There you go, same rules apply. All except 1 are booby trapped. Dont forget to save!

  185. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    is Crysis good? My new laptop will have the power to play it maximum settings, but Is it actually a good game?

  186. KingFrozen - Simple name says:

    OMG OUT IF HIS MUM!!!!!

    I vote E, e is popular

    Now im having mum jokes!

    Or not… they take too much time, just like trying to get around your mum to the other side of town. Seriously, two buses and a train is just ridiculous.

  187. I liked the Antarctica part. Anyways, D!
    And Putzy, Crysis is.. well, I’ve played it through like 18 times, so I guess it’s good, but now I think it’s meh. I guess you know why? So I say, get it if you like, it’s an okay game, but nothing too fancy about it. Just some dudes running around in Nano-suits firing at Koreans and saving some chick.

  188. The Master Of The Possimpible. says:

    Save dammit.

    G is obviously the only way to win.

  189. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Ok, I’ll wait till tomorrow to do the next bit, had a shitload of maths to work/research/do/blow up and am pretty tired.(its 10:12pm here in the merry old land of Oz.)
    But I made an AWESOME Crysis rap after watching someone play a bit of the first level on youtube. Should I post it? Cos if I could sing, I would put it on youtube its that good. I’m so proud of it.

    What say you?

  190. POST IT!

  191. The Green Lantern says:

    You don’t have to sing to rap, dude.

  192. Four more days! He is not going to make it.

  193. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Crysis Rap

    You’re parachutin’ down into the clouds,
    Yo’ mates are talkin’ they sound real loud
    The fog clears up, you notice the graphics
    And you’re like, “I gotta get ma’ fix!”

    You land in the water
    Suits scrambled up,
    CLICK-CLACK raise yo’ gun,
    Your enemies are fucked!

    Sneakin’ through the jungle,
    Like a Ninja, bitch
    ‘till the enemies see ya’
    An’ they hit the switch!

    Tearin’ up around ya
    Night an’ day
    The bastards are fallin’
    But who cares, they’re gay!

    Meet up with a homie
    Show ‘im around
    Re-load yo’ guns
    ‘cos you’ll be rockin’ this town!

    Th-th-th-that’s all, f-folks!
    Well, not really. I wrote up another one for when I actually buy crysis.
    I’ll post it later.

  194. Nondrick says:

    The Green Lantern

  195. KingFrozen says:

    Dude, how do you come up with these raps?

    Are you a poet,
    But you didn’t even know it?

    AH! I’m so stunned,
    I lost my ability to rhyme

    • KingFrozen says:

      If nobody posts a lol, i will have to revert into max’s killing babies routine

      • KingFrozen says:

        I will return in 3 hours, and if there is no lol, each minute a baby will DIE!

        Wait, what am i saying, you guys don’t care about babies! What do we care about… *Thinking*
        *Eureka*
        For every minute that passes i shall…
        *this is a dramatic pause, so fucking deal with it*
        Post a really bad and lame joke!

    • lol

  196. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    yo’ beggin’ fo’ attention
    cos yo’ Kingfrozen!

    Sorry, that was terrible. Just needed to post something.

    SOMETHING

  197. KingFrozen says:

    Well, i’m a bit late, but i guess thats as close to a lol as i will ever get

  198. Vadermath Von Stop with The Fucking Annoyingly Long Names Fucking Already! says:

    I imagine the Crysis rap becoming the Crytek theme song in a year or two…

  199. It’s been horribly quiet here for the last 2-3 days, so I guess I’ll start another x vs y?
    Oblivion vs Morrowind?
    I go for Morrowind.

  200. Addicted says:

    I go for Oblivion, simply because when I tried to play Morrowind on my crappy PC it kept glitching all of the time so it was pretty much impossible to play.

  201. KingFrozen says:

    I prefered Morrowwind except for one thing: EVERY SKILL WAS SO SPECIFIC! tHERE WAS TWO HANDED SWORDS, THEN 2H lONG SWORDS, THEN lONG SWORDS AND SHORD SWORDS
    *CONTINUES RANT*

  202. My problem with morrowind was that it was too easy. One I learned about the money trick with the little scamp merchant I was rolling in the money and just went to all the master trainers and maxed all mt stats before I barely ever started the main plot. after that there just didn’t seem any more reason to play. That and by that time I had all the best weapons and armor too. It’s no fun if you can get uber powered before the game really begins.

  203. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    dont care which game. both sucked.

  204. Vadermath Von Stop with The Fucking Annoyingly Long Names Fucking Already! says:

    Morrowind and Oblivion sucked? Are you crazy? They were (and are, I still play both) awesome! Only thing I didn’t like about Oblivion were the dialogue lines, Bethesda didn’t want to write much because of voice acting. Morrowind is my favorite RPG of all time, along with Fallout 3. Would be difficult to decide between Oblivion and Morrowind, since O’s got the graphics, but M’s got the RPG.

  205. Vadermath says:

    Remembered to change the name…

  206. Lubadawha!

  207. KingFrozen says:

    Hey, since this one has been kinda slow
    i got another one!

    Do you prefer when people say this is an x vs y
    Or an a vs b?

  208. avb, cause it sounds like AVP, which is related to Aliens which is my favorite movie.

  209. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    WAVELENGTH
    we are SO on the same page joeman

  210. KingFrozen says:

    Man… A whole day later and this is still slow…

    OK, i got a good one, and i want a lot of discussion on this

    Goku vs Superman!

    • KingFrozen says:

      I pick Goku, because he is super powerful with his spirit bomb, which is made from the life force of all others, which can therefore DESTROY superman but also because he can be revived with the dragon balls for ever and ever!

  211. Midget52 says:

    Kingfrozen, you cannot entice a comment through the use of meaningless arguments. You have to INSULT people. That is why I am now going to unleash my SWEARING PERSONALITY.

    Also, superman. Because he is SUPERMAN.

  212. Midget31 says:

    @vadermath: What kind of name is vadermath? Star Wars is so ninties.

    @Green Lantern: Shed some light on this, marvel freak: Who the hell reads those comics anyway?

    @Putzy: Kinda speaks for itself, really

    @King Frozen: You ar as cold as ice. You are willing to sacrifice your love. BASTARD.

    @Joeman: Try some originality. What, can’t think of anything other than your OWN NAME

    @Midget52: Just because there was already a guy named Midget on XBox Live doesn’t mean you have to use you bloody gamertag everywhere to justify the two numerals at the end. You sad little nerd.

  213. Midget52 says:

    Now let us never speak of this again.

    • Midget52 says:

      Also, i apologise for the above comments. They were purely satirical and do not reflect the publishers true opinions of the person or persons in question.

      Disclaimer over.

  214. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    now, i only called myself putzy when i needed to ask dumb questions, but it stuck and it evolved into this.
    SO FUCK YOU BITCH!
    swearing is funner than forming proper sentances motherfucker

  215. Vadermath says:

    You son of a midget whore, how dare you call SW ninties, just because the maker of the franchise decided to destroy it!

  216. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    goddamn so exited CRYSIS in like, six days!!!
    oh, yeah, and my birthday!
    PARTAY BITCHEZ

  217. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    okay, gonna try a new thing here. sorta role playin’ shit like D&D, except no dice and you can only do the options presented, like before, but with no nondrick.

    You are sitting in a tavern in the city of Trafalgar Square. You are pretty bummed out about not having enough money to stay at a hotel in Mayfair, so you are drinking yourself to happiness. Your Intelligence decreased by 6. A man carrying a giant axe comes up to you and threatens you with generic death threats.
    “I will cut your throat!”
    “Your money or your money! Then your life! Then more money!”
    “NYYYAAAAAARRRGH!”
    You are internally startled at the sudden verbal onslaught, and you:

    A) Pretend to drink from your empty bottle to appear nonchalant.

    B) Swing your hand around and smack the man with your bottle.

    C) Shit all over the floor.(Recommended)

    D) Perform Hari-Kiri

    E) Buy another drink and ignore the man

    Alright, choose, folks! As always, you’re pretty likely to die! Haha! Sucks to be you!

  218. I’d shit all over the floor.

  219. Vadermath says:

    A modified B, with a ninja style.

  220. The Green Lantern says:

    C.

    In unrelated news, I just finished Portal for the first time. I know I’m a bit late to the party but I do have to say, I love that game.

    LOVE!

  221. Jaded Empath, hereafter known as "Livin' in Obvilion for NONDRICK, not irrelevant spam!" says:

    IN TOTALLY ‘UNRELATED’ NEWS:

    This is a BLOG about the ‘non-adventures’ of an Oblivion character named “Nondrick”; imagine that?

    (Never could have guessed by all the SPAM, could you?)

    And NO, I’m not going to leave you VANDALS AND SQUATTERS ALONE: I was confronted with a couple of vapid idiots who out-and-out TOLD me what I was allowed to do.

    I was told to SHUT UP or I’d be “eradicated”.

    Well, guess what; the only person I’d give ANY credence to doesn’t seem to look around here (with the reams of garbage that has NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS BLOG, I can’t imagine why)

    C’mon, little boy, *eradicate* me; I DOUBLE-DIRTY DOG *DARE* you.

    Waiting smugly,
    Livin’ in Obvilion for NONDRICK, not irrelevant spam!

  222. The Green Lantern says:

    What?

  223. The Green Lantern says:

    If you don’t like it, or us, or girls, there is no reason to click on the comments section. If you were going to leave a comment about Nondrick, go for it! The only reason you came here is to start shit.

    So you wonder why we say things like that? Because of people like you. People who come here and have obviously never heard of non-sequitur humor. Hell, if you hate the comments section so much, why do you go to it?

    Just to start shit.

    No one is making you scroll down this far. You do it because there is nothing else to do. No update. So why don’t you just join us instead? Resistance is futile.

    Unless your just a dick.

    • Addicted says:

      He’s just a dick.

      I mean, jeez, are our comments burning you with every post? Why do you care? If you don’t like it, just leave. What would you use the comments section for anyway?

    • Actually, YES, you ARE making me scroll down this far – I and anyone who wants to make a sequential comment DOES HAVE to do JUST THAT, because of the ENORMOUS PILE of irrelevant drivel that sits between the top of the page and the comment form, and ANY means are made all the more difficult and time-consuming by this same mountain of off-topic ‘convo’.

      And did it EVER occur to you to wonder WHY I might want to “start shit”?

      Ever wonder why I might lash out a group of people that have squatted in a near-abandoned site and HIJACKED IT from its INTENDED PURPOSE and use it instead for their OWN PERSONAL DISCUSSION?

      Did it EVER occur to you that people – no I’m not brining up Chris, since his absence makes it clear he doesn’t care – OTHER PEOPLE OUTSIDE YOUR LITTLE CLIQUE might be irritated, frustrated and offended by your escapades?

      Apparently not, for in YOUR closed minds, you’re the innocent victims righteously defending yourselves from this ‘unprovoked attack’ by someone who “only came here to start shit”.

      Sorry about that, did I nudge your pink lenses there?

      • The Green Lantern says:

        *cracks knuckles*

        Alright kid, I’m sick and tired of your self-important, diatribe spouting, caps lock using bullshit. Chris doesn’t need a defender. I’m sure (like you say, if he cared enough to try to stop us) he would say something if this were getting too crazy.

        Have you never read in the bathroom?

        Have you never walked across the street in anything other than a designated crosswalk?

        You think you are actually here doing some vigilante stuff here don’t you?

        We get it. You write (here comes my emulation of you, note the use of capitalized letters:) LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG posts.

        I do apologize for how my colleagues acted to those other people, but really, it was people who hadn’t commented before (that I had seen) and were not leaving comments about LiO. They were just commenting to be dicks, and you can see how that might get a bad response from us.

        Yeah we have a clique, and from your posts it seems you’re a bit jealous.

        I am formally extending an invite to you from the Hiatus Crew. We would love someone of your intelligence and writing ability to join us.

        Think about it.

        You know what they say.

        If you can’t beat us…

      • … if Chris doesn’t care then why the fuck are you fighting them? There would be no more Nondrick if it were’nt for them. People would get bored, and stop checking. You don’t post enought to make up for them.

  224. Vadermath says:

    You fucking son of a bitch, now you made me a tad crossed. We have been waiting and waiting for nondrick for 7 fucking months here, and you come here and call us spammers? You see, once you are on a comments section for more than half of a year, you run out of fucking things to talk about. I’m not going to eradicate you, I’ll just let Joeman bite you in the crotch and then piss all over you.

    • Way to go!

      • Aye, thank you for the compliment, especially your little meltdown is what provoked me to this: see, when someone with NO AUTHORITY WHATSOEVER decides to have the GALL AND TEMERITY to try to ORDER me to “follow our rules or be eradicated”, I have this little thing in me called *spite* – I just HAVE to do the very thing these supposed ‘order givers’ want me to do.

        Time to reap what you have sown, karma-boy…

      • Putzy Von Putzingburg says:

        Dear god…I think jaded ACTUALLY thinks its being smart!

    • The Green Lantern says:

      I don’t like the look of this.

      Guys, my guess is that if Chris reads BOTH ends of this arguement, we’re all going to be banned.

      So vadermath, let’s just try to ignore the spammers(did you see the other comments he made higher up? It’s the same thing over and over and over again).

      • Personally, I’d like that – it would actually mean the Comment pages *for*Nondrick’s*non-adventures* would have a greater percentage of posts ACTUALLY ABOUT Nondrick’s non-adventures (aren’t I just such a silly nitwit for wanting such an ILLOGICAL thing???)

        I could really be content with not being able to post comments here if it would mean I didn’t have to scroll through page after page of IRRELEVANT TRIPE just to see what *genuine* Nondrick fans had to say ABOUT NONDRICK.

        But in all honesty, if Chris really gave hoot about ANYTHING said here in this blog’s commentary, he would’ve taken action a LOOOONG time ago.

        Of course, his disinclination to enact ANY sort of moderation here is part of the reason I feel compelled to act…

      • Wait…. the person against non-Nondrick “spam” wants Nondrick spam now? That’s like fighting the war on terror by using terrorists from our own country. Then the world becomes FO3-esque.

  225. Addicted says:

    Okay, look. Jaded, first of all, since you’ve been spurting the same logo and the practically the same comments over and over again, aren’t you contributing to the “spam”?

    Second of all, if Chris seriously hated our comments from Bitter Brew, then why didn’t he just tell us when he made this post if it was costing him extra money or space? If it made him so mad, then he’d say “stop spamming.”

    Third of all, I seriously doubt that Chris even reads these comments.

    Fourth, we aren’t just “spammers”. I’m a serious fan of all of Chris’s work. I’ve read everything on Notmydesk, I’ve memorized some of the Concerned comics, I’ve reread this blog multiple times, and I loved 1fort until it closed. The reason we’re “spamming” is because we’re all friends (kinda) and this is our way of communicating.

    Fifth, even if we never came to the blog, there wouldn’t be comments about Nondrick or anything, as you suggest. Look at the Day Five post. Fifteen comments. Sure, you might say that it was simply because the blog wasn’t popular then, but then look at Day ten and eleven. 26 comments. Hell, even if you look at this post, the comments that have anything Nondrick related only add up to around 20. So sure, you could post more about Nondrick, but it doesn’t matter because no one would reply or actually have a meaningful conversation about Nondrick.

    So, let’s say right now we left (I’m being hypothetical here). In less then three days, no one will ever comment here again ’till the next post, and then in less then four days from that post, that comments section would be barren.

    So you really want to destroy our group for a pointless cause?

    • The Green Lantern says:

      Huzzah, sir.

    • Well, firstly, yeah. I would have to agree that I’m contributing to exactly the same problem; I doubt any of my comments within the last month or even three months have had ANYTHING to do with “Livin’ in Oblivion”.

      But there’s this little injunction on how to fight fires…

      Secondly – and thirdly, as well – I agree. I’m pretty sure that Chris neither reads nor CARES about the commentary that carries on here on his own (project-specific) blog. But isn’t that worrisome? Is it part of his disinclination to carry on with Nondrick’s ‘non-adventures’? And one would have to wonder WHY…

      Fourthly, not “just ‘spammers'”, so you admit to filling a game blog with comments that have NOTHING TO DO WITH IT? Thank you for owning up to that.

      Also fourthly, yes, you’re a fan, and all your friends are too – you’d HAVE to be otherwise you’d NEVER have posted ANY comment.

      But you know what? So am I, and PK, and CMOT dibbler, and so are MANY more people whom we will NEVER know the names of, because they DON’T comment. You don’t *have* to comment to be an avid reader of Nondrick’s life…although you pretty much have to be a FAN to be a commenter. (this would be so much easier to describe in a Venn diagram…*sigh*)

      ANYWAY, my point is that JUST because one is a fan, does NOT mean that one HAS to post comment after comment, and shrink the page’s scroll bar to a seven-pixel nub. Especially when one’s comments have NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BLOG, the GAME, or the BLOGGER.

      Indeed, one could argue that those who post off-topic comments are *less* fans than others, since they obviously don’t care enough about Nondrick et al. to RESTRICT THEIR COMMENTS to the TOPIC AT HAND; they disrespect the PURPOSE of the commentary…

      And yet another note that creeps out of fourthly: I don’t mind that you and your friends are just that – FRIENDS. Indeed, I applaud you for reaching through an inherently impersonal medium and making bonds with others. Nor do I begrudge you all your creativity; I’m not much of a fan of rap, but Putzy’s rhymes are quite catchy.

      What I DO take umbrage with is WHERE YOU GATHER, and your DISREGARD FOR THE APPROPRIATENESS OF YOUR BEHAVIOUR.

      I must ask, is this a compulsion for you? Do you go into the library to play touch football? Do you go to biker bars to sing opera? Do you go to church/temple/etc. to watch DVDs? Do you go to the sports arena/ice rink/stadium to do your taxes?

      Do you begin to understand how all your posts look to OTHER PEOPLE, people who might – Gods forbid – think that the comment page on a BLOG ABOUT OBLIVION should…

      …you know…

      …HAVE COMMENTS ABOUT OBLIVION?

      And then fifthly, yes – so? How is that in any way a BAD thing? (oh, and I got curious and there’s 24 comments on this page actually relating to the topic…as of midnight Thursday EDT)

      Do you know how many blogs are out there that NEVER get ANY comments AT ALL? And I don’t mean ones with commentary blocked or turned off, I mean ones that not only have it enabled, but every blogpost made includes an appeal for feedback?

      I think a blog that gets twentyish RELEVANT replies to even a ‘no blogpost today, but I haven’t forgotten you or given up on this; honest!’ is PRETTY SUCCESSFUL. Not in a position to threaten PerezH or Lifehacker or Kotaku or The Consumerist, etc. etc., but still, something with actual regular readers that have the guts to SPEAK BACK to the blogger.

      This leads me to think on a particular interest of mine: narrative prose. Being online, I tend to find and affiliate with communities that encourage each others’ writing hobbies, and share their works with the public. In most of these communities, a recurring anthem can be heard: “If you liked what you read, please reply to the author, since praise is the only payment they get.”

      If that’s the case, what does that make the “Hiatus Crew”? A pack of muggers, or just simply a pack of loiterers that stand in front of the checkout?

      ANYWAYS, why even make this point #5 of yours, Addicted? Do you think that this is some shallow popularity contest with the ONLY means of measuring same being the number of comments on your blog? Why do you consider twenty-odd comments “barren”?

      My point that you either misunderstood or ignored (I’m leaning toward the former, to be honest) is that there ARE comments about Nondrick, but they’re so buried under pages and pages of off-topic chaff, that they might as well be invisible. *IF* Chris were to read the commentary pages looking for encouragement to continue, how do you think he would feel after an average page? (Because that IS the *purpose* of a comment page for a blog – feedback to the author/blogger.)

      And lastly, who said a) that I wanted to DESTROY this group, or b) that this cause is ‘pointless’?

      I’ve been appealing for TOPICALITY; if you’re going to make a comment on the NONDRICK BLOG, maybe – JUST *MAYBE* – you should be making a comment ABOUT the Nondrick blog?

      For more on b) just look back through previous paragraphs.

      Further on a): again, I’m not opposed to the group. It bears repeating that the formation of just a thing is admirable out here on ‘teh wildz intarwebs’. And I don’t object to WHAT THIS GROUP DOES. Again, the raps are pretty interesting, and some of the Tales are quite fascinating, and the prospect of a ‘forum RPG’ style group-written narrative sounds quite promising (I’ve participated in a number over the years – including one right now – and when done right, they’re A WHOLE HOOT FULL OF FUN)

      The only thing I’m taking issue with is WHERE you’re doing what you’re doing. You’re playing ludo in the strip club. You’re assembling IKEA in a mosh pit. You’re playing horseshoes on the stock market floor.

      Regardless of how awesome and funny and entertaining all this stuff is, IT DOESN’T BELONG HERE.

      • Midget52 says:

        Sorry, that took a while, but i think i get the gist.

        You want to get rid of the awesome and entertaining stuff on this blog? That means the only thing left will be your comments. Who would want to read them?

      • “I must ask, is this a compulsion for you? Do you go into the library to play touch football?” Yes, if the only books there, I’ve already re-read several times, and other people are gonna join in. “Do you go to biker bars to sing opera?” Hmm… yes, if there’s nothing else to do, and others are joining in, why the hell not? “Do you go to church/temple/etc. to watch DVDs?” If there are no sermons on that day, and others are too. “Do you go to the sports arena/ice rink/stadium to do your taxes?” Sure, of there are no games on, and you can enjoy the company of your fellow tax do-ers. “Do you post non-Nondrick related posts on a Nondrick related blog?” Yes, if there’s nothing new on it, and I’m enjoying myself by do-ing it with others, and helping to stop the sit never being used again, ’cause there’s nothing to talk about. Peace.

  226. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    i feel like making a rap about the size of jaded empires penis.
    IT WOULDN’T BE VERY LONG!
    ZING!

  227. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    but seriously guys, dont worry about jaded empire. He’s probably just some little 12 year old having a tantrum ‘cos his mum won’t buy him chocolate milk.

  228. Oh, so wanting discussion in a comments about Nondrick to BE ABOUT NONDRICK is “a pointless cause”? Thank you for validating my beliefs about YOUR ’cause’ here, Addicted. :)

    Also, guess what: *I* have been waiting for Nondrick for seven fucking months, too; and guess what? I don’t have this irrational compulsion to clog up someone else’s storage quota with MY off-topic discussion.

    “once you are on a comments section for more than half of a year, you run out of fucking things to talk about. ”

    Yes, and you know what? *SENSIBLE* people SHUT UP at that point and go do other things. If you want to interact with your friends (and I don’t deny you have become friends, nor do I *begrudge* that friendship) you might want to use MEANS DESIGNED FOR THAT PURPOSE.

    I’m just trying to get you all to realize how badly you’re HIJACKING this blog from its intended purpose, and what a BAD impression you’re making on potential Nondrick fans (CMOT dibbler, for example)

    Because if someone were to come along wanting to make a comment on how much they like Nondrick and his ‘non-adventures’, they WOULD have to scroll past all the guff and PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS that are going on, before they could get to the comment form. And if there’s a huge list of comments that have NOTHING to do with Chris, Oblivion, Nondrick, or the like, they may well wonder if their complimentary comment will even be visible amongst all this chaff…

    …if you’re trying to kill off interest in Chris’ ‘non-adventure’ experiment, excellent job.

    • “Also, guess what: *I* have been waiting for Nondrick for seven fucking months, too; and guess what? I don’t have this irrational compulsion to clog up someone else’s storage quota with MY off-topic discussion.

      “once you are on a comments section for more than half of a year, you run out of fucking things to talk about. ”

      Yes, and you know what? *SENSIBLE* people SHUT UP at that point and go do other things. If you want to interact with your friends (and I don’t deny you have become friends, nor do I *begrudge* that friendship) you might want to use MEANS DESIGNED FOR THAT PURPOSE.”

      ….if we stopped talking then the site would fucking die. They’re keeping interest. They’re keeping people reading there comments until Chris gets back to writing.

  229. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    boo fucking hoo
    dont like it? I dont care. Nobody does. Just go and masturbate in the dark alone, crying and fantasising of a life thats slightly less depressing than your own.

  230. Nondrick says:

    im 6 and a murderer

  231. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    hey, that rhymed!

    yo, yo, just go
    masturbate in the dark alone
    cryin’ an’ dreamin’ of life less shit than your own

    No-one cares
    and they never have
    just quiet down
    you stupid spaz.

    yeah, yeah, I’ll cause you pain
    bitch get outside into the rain
    wait rain? i thought it was summer
    i wanted to swim muthufucka!

    that was fun
    I’m gonna stop now
    if you dont know how to rap
    just ask me how!

    • Cute, mostly funny. Not bad.

      But there’s one thing I take REALLY issue with:

      ?Don’t ever use the ‘b’ word with me, little boy?
      ?’Specially if you ever wanna play with your toy?
      ?A Putz just one-third is sure what you’ll be?
      ?’Cause the other two-thirds will be leaving with me?

      Honestly, whatever in the (original) name of “Jaded Empath” (thanks for unconsciously making me seem more powerful than I am with “empire”) gave you the impression that I’M A GUY? :)

  232. The Green Lantern says:

    Alright guys. It’s been fun. But really, how much longer do you think we should be doing this? I mean, maybe “irrelevant spam” is right. Maybe all we are doing is discouraging new fans and Chris from having anything to do with this. And with people like Putz and vadermath (love you guys) just being dicks back, it doesn’t help our image. I don’t want to contribute to hosting fees. I don’t even know if I want to contribute to the hostility in here anymore. My commenting is going to start being few and far between because I just don’t want to see something I have followed for so long be destroyed because of me. I may start using the forum a bit more, but even then, it doesn’t feel like this used to. This is starting to sound like a break-up letter, and maybe it is.

    Buzzkill.

    Peace out,

    The Green Lantern.

    P.S. The Hiatus Crew are the most asskickingest, awesome, brutal, badass, and fun people on the internet right now. So if any of you give them any lip, I’ll slice out your liver.

  233. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    fine fine. sorry jaded whatever the hell your name is.
    but green lantern, I thought our relationship had a future! I planned my life around you, and now you leave me with two kids and no house?
    JOKING
    Shame that you are not gunna post wid us much anymore, but just remember that Chris is a reasonable guy. He would warn us to stop with a pissed off comment or post and we would all stammer apologies and swear we would never do it again. Just like always.
    FIVE DAYZ TIL PARTAYZ BIZZATCHES

  234. Midget52 says:

    Hey.

    Nondrick is awesome! How cool is he? Remember that one where he had the horse on the boat? and then he got attacked by ghosts?

    That was sweet…

    • Midget52 says:

      Right, is that enough on topic comments? can we get back to the random crap now?

      Dear Jaded:

      Our comments are an attempt to keep a slowly dying website alive. Surely you have seen or heard of many websites that the people eventually lose interest in. They fade away and get shut down.

      Now, I’m not saying that it will happen here, but our constant posts make that less of a possibility. We are playing the odds, and we will do anything to steer them in our favour.

      Yours sincerely, Midgets 01 – 53

      • Well, now it’s 26 out of 316 that are TOPICAL (soon to be 317 with this); all-in-all, that’s a REALLY piss-poor signal:noise ratio.

        NO, I do NOT want you to ‘get back to random crap’ HERE. You just aren’t paying any attention, are you?

        “attempt to keep a slowly-dying website alive” What? By rendering the feedback page USELESS? To totally cut off any meaningful responses of ACTUAL encouragement from ever being seen by the blogger? To the extent that he will likely NEVER look at the comments EVER AGAIN? To effectively silence anyone (including yourself) who will EVER post praise from ever getting through to him?

        I understand how all this started (remember I’ve been following this blog long before “Hiatus” myself), you originally banded together to ENCOURAGE CHRIS TO POST =MORE=.

        Worked great, hasn’t it?

        Since the spamming up of his comments pages began, Chris has posted far LESS frequently: usually from thirty to NINETY comments for a post UP TO “Hiatus” – and the “sorry I’m not posting more” ones were NOT the fewest replied-to – and it would be at least a couple of posts a month, or more.

        Then, FIVE HUNDRED comments to the Hiatus post, TWELVE HUNDRED to A Bitter Brew and so far THREE HUNDRED to Nondrick Update.

        Two ‘non-posts’, and a single continuation to Nondrick’s “non-adventure”, in seven months.

        Good job.

        You know, there’s a word for constantly doing the same thing and expecting a *DIFFERENT* result…

        In fact, IIRC, at one point, your “crew” THREATENED A CRUDE DENIAL OF SERVICE ATTACK on ALL OF CHRIS’ BLOGS. Way to show your support for someone you like – I’d hate to think what y’all did on MOTHER’S DAY.

        Just realize that what you’re doing is WRONG; it’s a perversion of what this feedback page is FOR. And I don’t put up with people who hijack things and use them for PERSONAL purposes that have NOTHING to do with what they were INTENDED FOR.

        Let me make an analogy for you: This blog is essentially an abandoned house; the light, heat and water are all still on and kept up by the owner, but he hasn’t been by and its doubtful if he will EVER come back.

        You all are a bunch of SQUATTERS; trespassing and unlawful habitation are what you’re doing, even if you don’t INTEND on harming anyone.

        Me? I’m not the homeowner, nor am I someone hired by him. I’m not the cops, either.

        I’m THE FUCKING NEIGBOURHOOD WATCH, bitches.

        I can’t arrest you, I can’t even enter the home legally myself, but I *can* sure-as-hell knock on the door and shine my flashlight in the windows until you get the point and LEAVE.

        And *again* I neither begrudge you your Nondrick fandom, nor your fun ‘other activites’, but would simply be satisfied if you confined your posts here to Nondrick-related praise/criticism – even to the supposed ‘detriment’ of the comment count – and take your fun-but-irrelevant stuff ELSEWHERE. There’s OOODLES of sites on the Internet that permit and ENCOURAGE general discussion. USE THEM.

        And if your circle of friends can’t survive transitioning to somewhere else – I guess those bonds of friendship aren’t very strong, are they?

    • Oh, YEAH – I totally thought Nondrick was a goner when he went onto that shipwreck!

      …Or how about ‘his way with women?’ Isn’t it just hilarious that the majority of the bandits that attack Nondrick are FEMALE? (Maybe it’s his facial features; they are so repulsed they have to rid him from Tamriel? ;) )

    • Backwards horseys ARE funny…… (hmm maybe we CAN do this?)

  235. Okay, guys. I think that maybe we should stop posting COMPLETELY for a while, and then let’s see how the site fares. I get about 30 e-mails a day that tell me of a new comment on here(I’ve subscribed to the comments). So let’s see how many days it takes to reach 30 e-mails from here, shall we? Maybe we’ll stop for a week and see what happens. So I think that everyone should get and post their own e-mail addresses so that we can communicate via the MSN chatting. After a week, we’ll come back and have a look at the site. C’mon guys, give it a try. If you guys don’t agree with me, that’s sad, but at least I’ll stop commenting for a week(if I manage ;) ). Oh and Jaded! You don’t have to scroll down all the way down. Just press the slider and drag it all the way down. I mentioned this on the Bitter Brew comment section. With this method, it’ll take about 2-3 seconds to get all the way down here. So Jaded, be happy now that you’ve got rid of at least two of us from the Hiatus Crew. Hopefully the rest for a week too.

    • You know what, Michael? The site fares JUST FINE without all the spam; indeed, one could conclude that Chris has lost interest MORE QUICKLY because of the complete ruination of the comment pages for their INTENDED PURPOSE: giving feedback to Chris.

      And sorry, but I have trouble finding the scroll bar when it’s only about THREE PIXELS wide due to hundreds of off-topic comments being on the page, and I SHOULDN’T HAVE SUCH TROUBLE; the method used to scroll down doesn’t matter – ALL of them become more difficult and more time-consuming because of this irrelevant stuff. And don’t just think about my ‘inconvenience’ (heck, I had the patience and determination to CHECK every post here for topicality, didn’t I?)

      THINK OF WHAT A NEW NONDRICK FAN IS CONFRONTED WITH WHEN THEY DECIDE TO PRAISE CHRIS:

      “Wow, that was GREAT; I’m gonna tell this guy how much he RAWKS!”
      *begins scrolling*
      “Whoa…this is gonna take like *forever*; nevermind…”

      The fact is, people have really short attention spans; I think I’m a bit of freak in that respect, but I’ll confess that even MY ‘persistence’ in something has gotten shorter as I get older. If you make someone wait “a few seconds” before they can do something on teh intarwebs, they WILL lose interest.

      None of that is the fault of the Hiatus Crew – it’s our human nature, such as it is – but doing something that TRIGGERS that loss of interest IS…

      Vanderman: What gives me the right? The same right that permits you to vandalize someone ELSE’s blog with irrelevant posts that have NOTHING to do WITH THE BLOG, to tell other people who don’t think the same way you do to “shut the hell up”.

      And really, if you think a mere two-day spat and a couple of people deciding to ‘chill out’ for a while is going to “break the Hiatus Crew”, you yourself don’t give it much credit – I certainly have more faith in it than that.

      But again, you are masterfully missing my point: I do NOT want the Hiatus Crew *broken*up*. I do NOT want you to leave LiO altogether, I do NOT even want you to STOP the silly stuff.

      I just want you to do all those fun things *SOMEWHERE*APPROPRIATE*. I want you to CONFINE your comments ON THIS BLOG to thing ABOUT THE BLOG.

      In fact, I think we might have come up with an acceptable compromise: see below!

      Or do you STILL persist in rigid, narrow-minded thinking that anyone who in ANY way criticizes you AT ALL is a diametrically-opposed enemy ONLY seeks your UTTER DESTRUCTION that you MUST resist totally?

      The Master Of The Possimpible: No. I won’t shut up; I’ve put up with this lot doing every stupid thing they can think of EXCEPT compliment Chris (denial of service attack against all of Chris’ blogs, anyone?) for seven months, and I cannot take it any more.

      And as for “CAUSING arguments” I only flew off the handle and let loose with my aggressions IN RESPONSE to profane insults by ‘Crew members’ attacking other posters; I stepped up IN THEIR DEFENSE (because nothing twigs me off faster than a pack of bullies picking on someone with no valid authority behind them).

      Michael and vandermath may have started this argument with their “you’re not a fan, WE’RE the fans, do what WE SAY” and “SHUT UP OR BE ERADICATED”, but believe me, I *WILL* FINISH IT.

      Yeah, BEFORE my patience snapped, there WERE very few arguments – because the ‘Hiatus Crew’ stifled and intimidated anyone who disagreed with what they did. Tyranny much?

      Now, -if- CHRIS happened to be a participant in all this, I wouldn’t have a problem. It’s his blog, and if he wants to turn it into a discussion room, so be it. But it’s become pretty clear that he is NOT, and guess what, folks: it’s NOT YOUR BLOG, it’s HIS. No, it’s no more mine than yours, but that doesn’t make YOUR VANDALISM ANY LESS an insult to EVERYONE. Let me reiterate:

      THIS IS NOT *YOUR* BLOG.

      Also, please, please PLEASE try to comprehend this:

      Hiatus Crew != Nondrick / Livin’ in Oblivion.

      Just because YOU post here DOES NOT MEAN the site is any more ‘alive’ than if you DON’T. And if you stop spamming up its comment pages does NOT mean it will ‘die’. This site was doing JUST fine with maybe 10-30 *topical* comments per post.

      Now? With people posting hundreds of posts that have NOTHING to do with Nondrick, Oblivion or Chris? Nearly stopped completely.

      If someone wanted to think LOGICALLY about these circumstances, they would conclude that the Hiatus Crew had an ADVERSE effect on the ‘health’ of this blog…

      KingFrozen? Yeah, but one can use fire to fight fire, especially when it’s the only tool available…

      Putzy: Sorry you don’t have the patience to read what I have to say, but it’s your loss.

      Tharron: Yeah, you know what? That’s the POINT of ‘shining a flashlight through a window on SQUATTERS ILLEGALLY LIVING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE’

      Putzy (again)

      o_o

      Well, THERE we go!

      Okay, THIS is what I was getting at.

      AGAIN, I do NOT want to see the Hiatus Crew break up. I don’t even want any of them banned from commenting here.

      I’d LIKE to see comment moderation in force on this blog, but that’s up to Chris not me, and it’s clear he’s been losing interest in Nondrick ALREADY; having to try to ‘ride herd’ of a rowdy bunch like this would only sour him on the whole ‘non-adventure’ experiment all the faster…

      But I really, really hope this helps, and allows the Hiatus Crew to thrive and enjoy themselves! Honestly, I wish you all well, and hope to still see you comment here…about *Nondrick* ;)

      (Really, another analogy would be talking during a movie; none of us own the theatre nor the film, but we’ve all ‘paid for a ticket’ – internet service is STILL not yet free, and the equipment to ACCESS all this stuff out here isn’t free either – and when one person’s behaviour disrupts the enjoyment of another AND there’s no ushers around to settle things, people WILL act up given enough aggravation for enough time…)

      Again, best wishes for everyone.

      And finally: GO ‘interested in Nondrick’-part-of-Chris’-brain! :D

      • I hate you.

      • Jackrabbit says:

        QFT Joeman. QF fucking T.

        Stupid bitch needs to shut up and stop ruining my enjoyment of this site.

      • She finally shut up! Yayz!

      • Stop using smileys…..it doesn’t make your post any better. I don’t want them to get there own blog to chat about stuff. They met here and they’re gonna stay here, that’s life, fucking deal with it.

      • Putzy Von Putzingburg says:

        I really, really don’t think it’s my loss to not read/care what you say.
        Seriously. I don’t give a shit.

  236. Vadermath says:

    Green Lantern, with you leaving, this is a sad day. Also, shut the hell up you “irrelevant spam” jerk. What gives you the right to tell anyone what to do. Do you know whose opinion I care about? Chris’. And that of the Hiatus guys. And nobody fucking else’s, especially not yours. I congratulate you, you have managed to break the Hiatus crew in a few posts. With Michael and Lantern leaving, this will be a sad place. Please guys, I urge you not to give up. I am really feeling dumb now, how could this happen? Chris will update someday, and you know what I think? I think he appreciates a few people that are keeping this place going more than a dick who is urging everyone to leave and let it die. But I will not give up, and we shall see who is of tougher build around here. I need you on MSN guys, c’mon.

  237. The Master Of The Possimpible. says:

    Would everybody please shut the fuck up?

    LIOFNNIS! (Catchy!) Stop causing arguments, if you’re concerned about the quality of comments, please don’t drag them down further by causing arguments.

    Before you came there were very, very few arguments in the comments, but when you showed up, the amount of arguments suddenly rose! What a coincidence!

    Nondri: (Little known fact, regular commenter’s on the subject of Nondrick are actually known as Nondri) RELAX. If he’s that annoying, simply ignore him.

    But since only comments in song get noticed…

    ?I know a song that’ll get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves?

    ?I know a song that’ll get on yer nerves, and this is how it goes?

    ?I know a song that’ll get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves, get on yer nerves?

    ?I know a song that’ll get on yer nerves, and this is how it goes?

    Repeat, ad infinitum

  238. KingFrozen says:

    WOOOOO I haven’t heard that song in ages!
    Vadermath, i will miss you!
    AND to mister related comments, all the long ones that are actually noticeable are naught but spam, just as you are trying to fight against. As Michael has said, attempting to remove us only increase our will to stay. We are like a bad stink. Once you have found us, we won’t leave you alone (not the best analogy but the best i could come up with)

  239. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    great wall of text everyone. didnt read a word. still gonna post comments here whenever I feel like it.

  240. Tharron says:

    Hia guys. Well I havent posted much. Dont care bout the uhm nabour watch or however you call it (we don thave that sort of thing) sure is irritating if someone would shine in my window 24/7 :”P

    to not work on the nerves of uhm..spamer something something. what about that episode where he stole all those plants! owh that was great!

    And to add to the msns.

    Nicopaz111@hotmail.com

    Add me!

    I know i havent bin much of the hiatus crew. but i was there from the beginning! till the end.. how did it end? we will one day tell our grand children about a ..neighborhood’s watch cop… it reminds me of mall cop… oh well :P

  241. Midget52 says:

    okkay, see you gus in a week.

  242. we finally got our own website!
    links in my name, so if any Crew members aren’t aware, go sign up and join!
    GREAT IDEA MICHAEL

  243. The Green Lantern says:

    ANYONE is invited to join.

    If you prefer IRRELEVANT SPAM, that is. I guess I never realized that people getting together and biding they’re time until the next update pissed people off that badly. No one but us was commenting. IF someone were to come and start talking about Nondrick, we would have been happy to oblige them and join in the Non-love.

    But, once again, no one was commenting. Hence why we were trying to keep this site alive.

    So you may have won this battle, Tits McGee, but you haven’t won the war.

    If you want more of what the comment section has been, come to http://www.hiatuscrew.webs.com and sign up. If you want the lonely existence that was this comment section before, have at it.

    Peace.

  244. Vadermath says:

    Also, fuck you, Irrelevant spam guy. And, yes, I like saying things plain and simple.

  245. Huzzah! Hiatus Exodus!
    Screw you Rameses! I mean Jaded Cynic.

  246. spam everyone loves spam, and horn

  247. The Master Of The Possimpible. says:

    Now then,
    Our love of
    Nondrick should make us
    Disagree less and argue less,
    Recently however, I have noticed that
    I, and several other people who frequent the comments more than I,
    Cannot seem to resist typing up a completely unrelated long rant about something.
    K?

  248. anyone else notice how that bitch went back to comments posted weeks ago just so she could post another novel-length whine about not talking about nondrick? Even though no-one will ever read them?
    Talk about an ego trip.

  249. Midget52 says:

    Shut up, Putzy! We got kicked out, remember? We aren’t supposed to be here!

  250. oh yeah! sorry!
    *gone*

  251. But seriously, she’s one crazy bitch.

  252. Midget52 says:

    Or he. There was no clarification on that matter.

  253. Hey guys, whats going on in these comments.

  254. Midget52 says:

    Not much Jebus. The Hiatus crew got kicked out by a high and mighty, hypocritical self-proclaimed vigilante who obviously has nothing better to do than pick on people they wouldn’t have the guts to stand up to in real life, so preys on on the internet.

    So, what’s been happening with you?

    • you said

      “You know what, Michael? The site fares JUST FINE without all the spam; indeed, one could conclude that Chris has lost interest MORE QUICKLY because of the complete ruination of the comment pages for their INTENDED PURPOSE: giving feedback to Chris.

      And sorry, but I have trouble finding the scroll bar when it’s only about THREE PIXELS wide due to hundreds of off-topic comments being on the page, and I SHOULDN’T HAVE SUCH TROUBLE; the method used to scroll down doesn’t matter – ALL of them become more difficult and more time-consuming because of this irrelevant stuff. And don’t just think about my ‘inconvenience’ (heck, I had the patience and determination to CHECK every post here for topicality, didn’t I?)

      THINK OF WHAT A NEW NONDRICK FAN IS CONFRONTED WITH WHEN THEY DECIDE TO PRAISE CHRIS:

      “Wow, that was GREAT; I’m gonna tell this guy how much he RAWKS!”
      *begins scrolling*
      “Whoa…this is gonna take like *forever*; nevermind…”

      The fact is, people have really short attention spans; I think I’m a bit of freak in that respect, but I’ll confess that even MY ‘persistence’ in something has gotten shorter as I get older. If you make someone wait “a few seconds” before they can do something on teh intarwebs, they WILL lose interest.

      None of that is the fault of the Hiatus Crew – it’s our human nature, such as it is – but doing something that TRIGGERS that loss of interest IS”

      I got bored after that, no one gives a fuck about your opinion and no one cares about what you say, it’s spam, but does anyone care? no.

      “indeed, one could conclude that Chris has lost interest MORE QUICKLY because of the complete ruination of the comment pages for their INTENDED PURPOSE: giving feedback to Chris.”
      no, don’t assume anything, your not in a postition to assume, what if chris liked it? have even folowig anything he says, he just never has time for it, am not saying he has time to read the comment box or not.


      And sorry, but I have trouble finding the scroll bar when it’s only about THREE PIXELS ”
      Go to specsavers, the scroll bar isn’t 3 pixels long, and your just exaggerating things.

      “the method used to scroll down doesn’t matter – ALL of them become more difficult and more time-consuming because of this irrelevant stuff. And don’t just think about my ‘inconvenience’ (heck, I had the patience and determination to CHECK every post here for topicality, didn’t I?)”

      The method used to scroll down does matter, am not sure about you but i really don’t give a shit about other people’s comments, it’s not inconvenient, don’t you have any pateince in life?, patience is a virtue, without it, your just a lost cub in a forest.
      Your also lame enough to ACCTUALY read 300 odd commemts, and you said you have a short attention span.

      THINK OF WHAT A NEW NONDRICK FAN IS CONFRONTED WITH WHEN THEY DECIDE TO PRAISE CHRIS:

      “Wow, that was GREAT; I’m gonna tell this guy how much he RAWKS!”
      *begins scrolling*
      “Whoa…this is gonna take like *forever*; nevermind…”

      No, it’s not going to take forever, it doesn’t even take any time at all, all you have to do is like the scrol bar up and down and your there, really quickly.

      the Hiatus crew intrests me , they are there a good form of entertainment am not going to go on another site. plus if chris ACCTUALLY updates, then they propaply won’t even be haunting the comments

    • you said

      “You know what, Michael? The site fares JUST FINE without all the spam; indeed, one could conclude that Chris has lost interest MORE QUICKLY because of the complete ruination of the comment pages for their INTENDED PURPOSE: giving feedback to Chris.

      And sorry, but I have trouble finding the scroll bar when it’s only about THREE PIXELS wide due to hundreds of off-topic comments being on the page, and I SHOULDN’T HAVE SUCH TROUBLE; the method used to scroll down doesn’t matter – ALL of them become more difficult and more time-consuming because of this irrelevant stuff. And don’t just think about my ‘inconvenience’ (heck, I had the patience and determination to CHECK every post here for topicality, didn’t I?)

      THINK OF WHAT A NEW NONDRICK FAN IS CONFRONTED WITH WHEN THEY DECIDE TO PRAISE CHRIS:

      “Wow, that was GREAT; I’m gonna tell this guy how much he RAWKS!”
      *begins scrolling*
      “Whoa…this is gonna take like *forever*; nevermind…”

      The fact is, people have really short attention spans; I think I’m a bit of freak in that respect, but I’ll confess that even MY ‘persistence’ in something has gotten shorter as I get older. If you make someone wait “a few seconds” before they can do something on teh intarwebs, they WILL lose interest.

      None of that is the fault of the Hiatus Crew – it’s our human nature, such as it is – but doing something that TRIGGERS that loss of interest IS”

      I got bored after that, no one gives a shit about your opinion and no one cares about what you say, it’s spam, but does anyone care? no.

      “indeed, one could conclude that Chris has lost interest MORE QUICKLY because of the complete ruination of the comment pages for their INTENDED PURPOSE: giving feedback to Chris.”
      no, don’t assume anything, your not in a postition to assume, what if chris liked it? have even folowig anything he says, he just never has time for it, am not saying he has time to read the comment box or not.


      And sorry, but I have trouble finding the scroll bar when it’s only about THREE PIXELS ”
      Go to specsavers, the scroll bar isn’t 3 pixels long, and your just exaggerating things.

      “the method used to scroll down doesn’t matter – ALL of them become more difficult and more time-consuming because of this irrelevant stuff. And don’t just think about my ‘inconvenience’ (heck, I had the patience and determination to CHECK every post here for topicality, didn’t I?)”

      The method used to scroll down does matter, am not sure about you but i really don’t give a shit about other people’s comments, it’s not inconvenient, don’t you have any pateince in life?, patience is a virtue, without it, your just a lost cub in a forest.
      Your also lame enough to ACCTUALY read 300 odd commemts, and you said you have a short attention span.

      THINK OF WHAT A NEW NONDRICK FAN IS CONFRONTED WITH WHEN THEY DECIDE TO PRAISE CHRIS:

      “Wow, that was GREAT; I’m gonna tell this guy how much he RAWKS!”
      *begins scrolling*
      “Whoa…this is gonna take like *forever*; nevermind…”

      No, it’s not going to take forever, it doesn’t even take any time at all, all you have to do is like the scrol bar up and down and your there, really quickly.

      the Hiatus crew intrests me , they are there a good form of entertainment am not going to go on another site. plus if chris ACCTUALLY updates, then they propaply won’t even be haunting the comments

  255. The Master Of The Possimpible. says:

    G is a pretty cool guy, eh makes good points and doesn’t afraid of anything.

    Now that’s out of the way, is this the delay of the delay, or the delay of the delay of the delay?

    I forgot.

  256. G makes a lot of good points. Yes, I do admit that it might be annoying to have to scroll down to say, “Good job dude this RAWKS” but the thing I don’t get is that this isn’t even a post. It’s a post saying that there isn’t going to be a post. So, yeah, why do you care if we’re spamming this?

    Anyway, it doesn’t matter, because we have our OWN website now to spam. Not as fun, but it shall do us well. Click my name to come join us if you want! Now I shall go.

  257. good on ya g.

  258. Prodian says:

    Do you guys (Hiatus crew) have an IRC channel? If not I’ve made one on quakenet called #NondrickHiatus

  259. Midget52 says:

    What’s an IRC channel?

  260. XChillaGorillaX says:

    Its a chat-channel for people with their interests. if you like pancake, you go chatting with pancakers. if you like tf2 you go chatting with heavys and demomen. and if you like waiting until the next hiatus will be announced, you go to #NondrickHiatus .
    (google it :D)

  261. XChillaGorillaX says:

    I mean irc not #NondrickHiatus :D

    • G Fights back says:

      I’m Bored and seen as the Hiatus crew, which were a excellent source of entertainment have disappeared, or rather been shooed away by someone who is such a idiot, that i can’t comprehend how idiotic they acc-tually are, but ill give it a go, IDIOT, so in a peaceful protest i will spam this place.

      WE WANT HIATUS CREW (AND A NEW NONDRICK UPDATE IF CHRIS IS LOOKING)

      COPY AND PASTE IF YOU SHARE are one to share the same goals

  262. Midget52 says:

    Advice from a gorilla is never wrong!

    (That is a reference to your name, not any aspect of your physical person.)

  263. G Fights back says:

    I’m Bored and seen as the Hiatus crew, which were a excellent source of entertainment have disappeared, or rather been shooed away by someone who is such a idiot, that i can’t comprehend how idiotic they acc-tually are, but ill give it a go, IDIOT, so in a peaceful protest i will spam this place.

    WE WANT HIATUS CREW (AND A NEW NONDRICK UPDATE IF CHRIS IS LOOKING)

    COPY AND PASTE IF YOU SHARE THE SAME GOALS.

    • G Fights back says:

      I’m Bored and seen as the Hiatus crew, which were a excellent source of entertainment have disappeared, or rather been shooed away by someone who is such a idiot, that i can’t comprehend how idiotic they acc-tually are, but ill give it a go, IDIOT, so in a peaceful protest i will spam this place.

      WE WANT HIATUS CREW (AND A NEW NONDRICK UPDATE IF CHRIS IS LOOKING)

      COPY AND PASTE THIS. NOW!

  264. G Fights back says:

    COPY AND PASTE, SPAM.!!! NOW!

  265. Look, G, I appreciate the fact you’re trying to help us, but seriously, spamming will just hurt our reputation.

  266. G Fights back says:

    y not, fighting the only way

  267. G Fights back says:

    ok ignore my comments……………………………………………………………… until furthur notice, i still say down with people who think hiatus is irrelevant spam

  268. GUESS WHO’S BACK?!
    My banning is finally over. And Jaded Empath. I’ve got around 35 emails from wordpress in a week. That’s what I usually get in one day. So, this site DOES NOT fair well without us. IT WILL DIE, YOU HEAR ME? So go somewhere else you attention whore, try 4chan – you’re not wanted here! Now GTFO! Also, I regret nothing.

  269. The Green Lantern says:

    Wow.

    We actually had a pro-hiatus protest there for a second.

    Good on ya, G.

  270. Sorry, I just thought that spamming would give even more reason for the other guys to hate us. I still think we should stick to the Hiatus blog for a little while.

  271. XChillaGorillaX says:

    better listen to the wise Gorilla in the corner:
    keep on talking about sensless things like “protests against people who only comment updated blogs” … You could learn something from it! like did you know that when you put your wiener into a microwaved banana, it does not feel like a real vagina? :D

  272. Midget52 says:

    That is something i never wanted to know.

    Ever.

  273. Shit, now I can’t sleep. EVER.

  274. XChillaGorillaX says:

    Gorillas love bananas :D

  275. The Master Of The Possimpible. says:

    I think we’re all MISSING THE POINT.

    “a week or so” Well that’s the delay of the delay being missed, so the delay of the delay is delayed.

    Great work lying to your readers there, Christophles.

  276. I love reading this comments, but I’m far to scared to get involved. One of you might break me with your words :(

  277. Don’t worry, Jebus, we don’t bite. Well, the goat might bite you. But never mind him!

    You can join us at the link in my name

  278. And then we break you. With our fucking teeth.

  279. So the whole “a weeks time” thing was a load of bullshit?

  280. Midget52 says:

    No, one of us waited a week. See if you can guess who!

  281. Green Lantern did.

  282. Fucking hell it took me over 2 minutes to scroll to the bottom of this page on my iPod. I hope jaded comes back, the only time you guys ever say anything worth Reading is when you’re arguing with him.

  283. The Green Lantern says:

    That’s impressive!

    How long did it take you to scroll to the bottom of A Bitter Brew?

  284. Probably a couple of hours.

  285. The Giant, Straight Edge Blue Flashlight Darth Literacy aka Mike says:

    BY YOUR HIATUS POWERS COMBINED, I AM The Giant, Straight Edge Blue Flashlight Darth Literacy25 aka Mike

  286. Ha yeh I kinda had to stop Reading your comments after u passed the 1000 comment point, I was developing a repetetive strain injury. Sorry bowt coming off as a dick before, endless scrolling gets me angry and frustrated.

  287. Midget52 says:

    Theres a scroll bar on the side of the screen. Click and drag. Lots more efficient.

    I don’t like when people complain about easily solved problems.

    Please don’t summon the Irrelevant Spam.

  288. Nah mate u don’t understand, don’t have a pc Atm so am checking updates via iPod touch, so the scrolling takes a while : )

  289. There are people who don’t have an ipod either. Should we send the comments in bat-sign form to the sky so they can view it?

    Just kidding, but it seems you shall have to live with it. I had computer problems for the past week, so I had to view the blog via mobile phone. You can’t begin to imagine the pain…

  290. Nope. Samsung. Fucking Z240. HORROR.

  291. Midget52 says:

    @vadermath: When did your icon change?

  292. XChillaGorillaX says:

    friends, do you want to know another wise thing from your friend “the gorilla in the corner”? :D

  293. Of course! Go ahead.

  294. I am no impostor, I assure you. Ask me any Hiatus Crew security question, you shall see it is me. A few days back, I decided to try the new Windows 7, instead of this crappy Vista. But just to be sure, I set up a dual-boot, so I can keep both OS’. I can’t remember the website and email I put in the comments section the last time, so I put new ones. Naturally, my pic changed.

    THE RED SPY IS IN THE BASE! WE MUST PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE!

  295. Uh.. hey! It’s still here!
    Anyway, you used to put in FALSE information? If so, the Red Spy is indeed in the base! Ha ha!

  296. Is the Hiatus crew back?

  297. inb4 update

  298. KingFrozen says:

    Pretty much, Irrelevant spam has left

  299. Microwavability says:

    WHERE

  300. Microwavability says:

    IS

  301. Microwavability says:

    OUR

  302. Microwavability says:

    UPDATE

  303. It doesn’t exist..yet.

  304. Microwavability says:

    bollocks

  305. Midget52 says:

    You have just summed up all our feelings.

    Thanks for making all our previous comments irrelevant.

  306. All the previous comments are irrelevant but the ones after that arn’t. Like mine.P.s if the Hiatus crew is back how come so few people posted yesterday????????????????????????????????????????????
    Post it’s beneficial to your health.

    Now to use this comment box “properly” WHERE IS OUR UPDATE??? IT’S BEEN MORE THEN A WEEEK, A MONTH EVEN.

    £$€ The Pound The Doller The Euro

    ¦(º·º)¦

  307. UPDATE!!! ¦(`·´)¦

  308. my icon might change 2 since i have a laptop now :D
    but i dont have internet yet so dont worry about it yet…

  309. hellcrapdamn says:

    Well I guess I can put off that suicide for a little longer

  310. To please all audiences;
    *relevant* Come on Chris, we want our update! Like, now!
    *irrelevant* Watermelon vs Coconut I go for coconut, they’re awesome.

  311. The Master Of The Possimpible says:

    Watermelon, they’re tastier, plus they’re bigger. MORE OM NOMS.

  312. Relevant- Will Nondrick drink the potion?

    Irrelevant- Watermelon, I hate coconut

  313. *Thinks to myself* Dang, everyone goes against me!
    *uses my super powers as Vice President to change my former statement to Watermelon, even if it says ‘coconut’, that was a typo. Okay?* Of course Watermelons are tastier!

  314. Midget52 says:

    Coconut. You can do more with it. Coconut ice, those drinks, horse galloping sounds….

  315. I don’t like coconuts so watermelons.

    i wonder if nondrick will drink a coconut

  316. @G: Update? I am beginning to think we shall not receive it soon…you see, the whole purpose of the Hiatus Crew is (except talking) waiting for an update. We are like the Illuminati, waiting for centuries to take down THE POPE. Just in our case, the POPE is boredom. And if anyone asks, yes, I have been reading Angels and Daemons…

  317. Microwavability says:

    *insert generic update cry here*

  318. The Green Lantern says:

    I’ll insert something.

  319. Microwavability says:

    in chris’s anus

  320. The Green Lantern says:

    Dude, uncalled for.

    The printer was just low on paper…

  321. The Green Lantern says:

    And just in case any of you HAVEN’T seen it yet…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA

    Seriously, I’ve been jamming to this for the past few days.

    He’ll save children, but not the British children.

  322. Man. I haven’t updated my blog in like 10 days and I feel ashamed… I wonder how Chris feels.

    By the way today is my birthday and I updated it. Something is wrong with this picture.. isn’t it you guys who are supposed to update it FOR me?

  323. KingFrozen says:

    Lol, probably, Happy Birthday!

  324. Midget52 says:

    I have no blog. But if i did, I would, just for you!

  325. oh yeah, it was my birthday on the nineteenth.
    forgot to go attention hunting!

  326. My birthday’s soon! Just telling you guys now, so you can buy me all presents and plan a party.

  327. XChillaGorillaX says:

    presents?
    eer Addicted is a spy! :D

  328. Nah, I’m too cool to be a spy.

  329. The Green Lantern says:

    It’s true.

    One time he showed me his stash of cool.

    I have to go to my happy place now…

  330. Birthday? Don’t forget to invite me! And do not offer cake, THE CAKE IS A LIE! Offer pie instead, apple or blue berry pie.

  331. Midget52 says:

    Or lemon meringue!

  332. The Green Lantern says:

    What do you guys think about a pinata?

  333. Bring a piñata!

  334. Just out of random curiosity, where the hell did irrelevant spam dissappear to? Not that i want him? her? IT here, but it does make you wonder where it’s gone….. also i’ve decided to …..

  335. KingFrozen says:

    Get a pinata? They really are awesome

  336. The Green Lantern says:

    The pinata will be in the fat and ugly shape of Irrelevant Spam.

  337. Good idea. I can’t wait to smack Jaded Empath.

  338. The Green Lantern says:

    With a stick!

  339. With spikes on!

  340. The Master Of The Possimpible says:

    Coffee Vs. Hair Straighteners

  341. The Green Lantern says:

    Coffee.

    I don’t know if anyone else is getting as annoyed as I am over these pre E3 game leaks, but they really need to stop.

    What’s the use of E3 if there is nothing left to wow us with?

    Also, the PSP Go looks fucking retarded. Sony, you can only fail me so many times. There had better be a FFVII remake in the near future, or else.

  342. The Green Lantern says:

    And it had better not go to Micro$oft.

    (Not a fanboy, just wish I could get some use out of my PS3)

  343. Tombstone says:

    I hope there’s a post on June 1st about how he missed updating in May

  344. Coffee. What would I do without it?

  345. Midget52 says:

    Coffee. I have short hair, so there is really no need to straighten it.

    I may have thought that through too much….

  346. Its been almost a month! :( Please try to find the time to update soon, I want to know if Nondrik will drink the potion!!!

  347. What if I have a pinata, a pie (in the shape of a goat!) and gift bags? Everyone loves gift bags, right?

  348. Addicted!! You broke against law 1 paragraph §1;
    ‘Thou shalt always capitalize Goat’! How are we going to punish him?

    • GOD! WHY DO I ALWAYS FORGET THAT ONE?

      Oh, no wait. It wasn’t the Goat, it was just a goat.

      • Well, I guess that is acceptable. However, Goats are the mortal forms of our God *the* Goat, the only version of Him we puny mortals can face without getting pwnt by His Almighty Awesomeness. So, always capitalize all forms of the Holy Word Goat, but for this time, you’ll be fine. Just make sure you remember it the next time. Praise be the Goat!

  349. i hate coffee. Its so bitter and eeughh.
    like tea just tastes like boiled water, no matter what stuff you use.
    and beer tasted like its just fuckin yeast in a bottle. can’t stand dat shit.

  350. KingFrozen says:

    Im with Putzy on this one

    (Putzy, what was our opinion?)

  351. Midget52 says:

    Opinions are so biased.

  352. ZomBuster says:

    I saw the new PC Gamer UK will have an article about this.

    Everyone will read it and then think “mhhh this is cool I’m gonna check it out.”

    and then they come to here and see the last post was in may and think “aww it’s dead, I’m now very sad”

    You don’t want to disappoint all those people do you?

    DO YOU?

  353. Yes, it’s fairly easy acctually

  354. Coffee or hair straightner? duhhhh tea, tea rules.

    Seriously, i’m a guy, i have short hair, i wouldn’t touch a hair straightner even if you paid me to, although if your willing to try, pay me roughly £1,000,000 +. Yes am british it’s in pounds for a reason. I like coffee but tea’s better, so tea rules.

  355. No, coffee.

  356. I thought about that too much.

  357. tea rules for a reason

  358. The Master Of The Possimpible says:

    Donkeys Vs. Microwaves

  359. #
    nancymarie Says:

    June 23, 2008 at 9:25 pm

    My $0.02 about the Imperial City shack: it looks like total shit, but it’s the house most used for my games. IC has it all and storing everything in the shack makes it damn convenient for buying/selling goods when you don’t have a high strength. And think of all the alchemical ingredients nearby!

    Don’t feel too guilty about buying and using a horse. Girls prefer a man with his own ride. ;)
    Reply
    #
    Jaded Empath Says:

    June 23, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    Okay, my wife (just above) said it quite well; think on it like this: you made A THOUSAND SEPTIMS in ONE DAY, and I’m not sure you emptied out ALL the ingredients in *just* the Market district’s shops (don’t forget Three Brothers Trading…).

    Also, there IS the issue of “No Fast-Travel” – that lovely manor in Anvil is *very* out-of-the-way (wasn’t it three days worth of travel from Anvil to ImpCit?)

    And then the biggest argument for the Waterfront Hovel is the lack of ‘quest accomplishment’ prerequisites; I’m not certain, but I’m pretty sure every other house can only be purchased AFTER one has ‘completed some helpful errands’ for the Count/Countess as well as needing *fame* to qualify; it’s going to be difficult for Nondrick to ‘get his foot in the door’ for any of those houses.

    And finally, I find once you get the wall hangings and other appointments, the shack is quite cozy! :)
    Reply

  360. Shocking news it’s a guy that’s married??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? who da fuck would wanna marry that?

  361. oh and donkeys vs microwaves, damn that’s to hard , i say………………………………………. ermm… er… ok i don’t know but can’t we have a hybrid like a microwave donkey?

  362. It might not be a guy. What if they’re lesbians? Feminists? That would explain their behaviour(there are of course exceptions, all feminists are not complete dorks, but all I’ve met/seen are).

  363. The Green Lantern says:

    I only ever got that house, or any of the ones you get from doing a quest. I was a money horder in that game.

  364. Midget52 says:

    I don’t think we will get anywhere insulting someone who insulted us. Especially if they aren’t here.

    • The Green Lantern says:

      Agreed.

    • Maybe they ARE here, just that they don’t say anything because they’re planning to do what they like to do the most: Take us by surprise and start insulting us. So, if we submit some insults maybe they’ll feel hurt and start to cry and leave us alone? Or maybe that is just feeding the trolls. Either way, I still stand with my opinion. Death to Jaded Empath and NancyMarie! All hail the holy Goat and the Hiatus Crew!

  365. feminists think we guys are huge perverted freaks.
    By the way, jaded, your wife said to me to tell you hello. now shes on her knees about to give me the old HUGGITYHUG! arooooooooo! TAKE IT BITCH!

  366. KingFrozen says:

    Oh he will.
    He will…
    *manical laugh*

    Sero, Faminists are seriously sexist. Have you noticed that they want women to be greater than men. They actually say that women are better because women don’t put men down.

    That very statement is contradictory!!!!!!!!!!11one11!1!!!1eleven1

  367. hiatus crew are a international organasaition, created to help bring entertainment into this world and fight evil. The evil i am talking about is one person: “irrelevant spam”. Also Chris not updating, it’s evil so we provide entertainment in the meen time. The hiatus crew are ever expanding thei horizans to bring more entertainment to those who are in need of it, the hiatus crew were once just volunteers, but now we need new volunteers, due to constant wars with It that shalt not be named we need new recruits in the name of da
    Goat, We need YOU!.

    Join NOW! if you fulfill this criteria

    If you want to bring entertainment to this world.
    If you hate irrelevant spam ( you absolutly have to have that, if you don’t no entry.)
    If you like lio.
    If you want to bring smiles to many faces internationally.
    If you have over 100 per day spare.
    for full list please ask one of the hiatus crew who have the time.

  368. * If you have over 100 hours spare per day

  369. i’m awesome

  370. Awesome, G. JOIN THE HIATUS CREW NOW! Fight the It, serve the Goat.

  371. The Green Lantern says:

    what the hell is going on?

  372. Recruiting.

  373. Hi.
    Been reading the updates forever (or that’s how it seems). Also been [trying to] read all of the entertaining comments too, thought I’d say hello.

    This is probably the first ever blog that I’ve actually read just to read the comments, that says it all really. Keep up the good work!

    P.s. I promise my capslock key won’t ever get stuck. (unlike some poor people)

  374. hey JOFive. I hope your name isn’t some crazy clue and you’re Jaded.
    Because then I would be forced to kill you.
    We’ll be watching…

  375. Midget52 says:

    Surprisingly, that’s an improvment from when we used to kill, then watch. Not very interesting, but VERY efficient.

  376. those were the days.

  377. The silence kills me.

  378. Midget52 says:

    Death kills me.

  379. Kills kill me.

  380. The Master Of The Possimpible says:

    He…He wasn’t kidding about next April was he?

  381. Midget52 says:

    The Chris moves in mysterious ways…

  382. KingFrozen says:

    the Chris? dude, you sound like a Trekkie!

    And heat kills me

  383. Midget52 says:

    Its a reference to a song, which is a reference a bible passage.

    never, EVER call me a trekkie.

  384. Midget52 says:

    Also, 500th!

  385. That’s great, Midget!
    Now take off your pants.

  386. I’m starting to worry about Putzy.

  387. Starting?

  388. That’s great, Vadermath!
    Now take off your pants.

  389. Sure. When hell freezes over.

  390. What’s with Putzy sayin “take off your pants” it’s … just odd… or have you been reading to much concerned?

  391. I think Putzy suffers from pedophilia.

  392. YAY!
    G understands! It’s a joke from concerned! GAWD, I’m not a pedophile, anymore.

  393. The Master Of The Possimpible says:

    That’s great Putzy.

    Now take off your pants.

  394. KingFrozen says:

    Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

    Putzy… Not anymore?

    And where was the pants gag? I missed it! Linky please.

  395. Midget52 says:

    I read that webcomic with a fervour unrivalled! How dare you quote a joke unknown to me!

    Linx plz!

  396. “Thanks a bunch, Putzy!”

  397. Thanks a bunch, Putzy!

  398. Uncanny…

  399. Midget52 says:

    Uncanny…

  400. Cool, i was right, as i am always of course, but i can’t believe no one linked it in putzy’s pedophilia…. sheesh how dare you not read concerned, you should be punished…. by being made to read concerned all of of it in just 1 minutes, then take a test on it, if you can quote every single page, you pass, if you fail you get whipped raw. You’ll have to do this every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year…. Until i say you can stop…….oh you can have friday saturday and sunday off….

  401. I like how G thinks.

  402. ?_?

  403. WHAT!?!?!?! Who didn’t read Concerned? BURN THE INFIDEL!!!!

  404. Midget52 says:

    WITH FIRE!!!

  405. Nerd with no life says:

    FAKE

  406. XChillaGorillaX says:

    lol funny :D

  407. XChillaGorillaX says:

    my avatar is kinda.. pink

  408. Indeed, it is kinda pink.

  409. And mine is… quite white.

  410. oooo, what is mine?

  411. kinda blue.

  412. Joeman, what’s up with ya lately? Haven’t seen you on the site…

  413. mines green I think.

  414. Turquoise.

  415. Midget52 says:

    Unless you’re colour blind. Or just plain blind.

  416. Konfuzed says:

    Do you people ever get bored?

  417. Not in the slightest. See, we’re all friends here. And on our website. Why would I ever get bored talking to friends…

  418. Internet biffles!

  419. Also, it’s gonna be almost a month since Chris updated FPS. I think he’s really dead this time.

  420. I killed him.

  421. dupersude says:

    For not updating the article? It’s been two months since when the last update was promise. I miss nondrick.

  422. Jackrabbit says:

    I’ve been avoiding this site like the plague for the last few months thanks to a certain irrelevant spam(er). So, I guess she’s gone now? WOO! Time to actually discuss stuff and not get interrupted by an impossibly annoying whiny bitch!

  423. He isn’t dead, Mike. He updates Twitter constantly.

  424. KingFrozen says:

    Yeah, its a shame he’s actually updating anything. It means the bastards who are making him do this really are sadistic, because he has that link to the outside world, but cant tell us, and we suffer from the lack of updates.

    :'(

  425. Just because I let him twitter doesn’t mean he’s captured and in my basement. Uh…

  426. Midget52 says:

    I believe you, Putzy.

  427. Midget35 says:

    We allllllllllll do.

    And we watch. Always.

  428. Midget37 says:

    Kill. Kill. Kill.

  429. Midget52 says:

    They’re still ther? Damn.

  430. Midget52 says:

    They’re still there? Damn.

  431. Midget52 says:

    Woops, sorry about that.

  432. dupersude says:

    You must be one lonely man, midget. Assuming of course, that you are a man.

  433. He’s a midget with many personalities. Don’t get too close!

  434. I cannot believe no one has asked this before…are they any female midgets among you, 52?

  435. Yeah, that’s kind of interesting.

  436. dupersude says:

    What I find interesting is that “52” happened to be my first ‘internet number’ back when I was 14…
    I used it following my username for everything. Midgets officially now creep me the fuck out. >.>

  437. Safe to assume Nodrick’s adventures are over? Shame. They were funny and pretty original. Considering there hasn’t been a real story update since January, I’m ready to assume the worst. The writer is dead and gone.

  438. dupersude says:

    He’s not “dead and gone”, per se. Putzy has him locked in his basement, and let’s him on twitter.

  439. Jackrabbit says:

    But I think it’s a pretty safe bet that he isn’t updating ever again. I guess procrastination finally got the best of him.

  440. Midget52 says:

    Answering the question about Midgets, I don’t actually know.

    34 keeps track of all the personalities. I’ll refer you to him.

  441. Midget34 says:

    Of the thirty-three documented personalities, twenty-eight are male, four are female, and one is of unknown gender.

    Also, there are six deifferent langugesspoken, including English. And NOT including that one that speaks only very well known French words. Thdesnot count.

  442. Midget43 says:

    Sacre Bleu! Baguette es cargo, deja vu?

  443. Midget34 says:

    Seriously, that doesn’t count!

  444. dupersude says:

    Ever again?
    We’ll see about that…
    He does value his family, doesn’t he?
    Cause otherwise…
    Yeah probably never again.

    So 34 is a he, and obviously you, 52, are also a he, as you don’t know if there are any females existing… how many are there total?

  445. dupersude says:

    Woops. When I was writing that your posts weren’t there. Just for the record…

  446. dupersude says:

    If there are 33 documented personalities, why do ID Numbers reach as high as 52? Were there perhaps more, which died? <.<

  447. No, they are in the basement with Chris.

  448. dupersude says:

    We eat tonight!

  449. Jackrabbit says:

    Can I just ask, because I’m far too lazy to check, but is everyone for Chris (assuming he ever updates) actually taking that cure disease potion?

  450. dupersude says:

    Cue blank look.
    you mean, like a toast or something?
    Otherwise no idea.

  451. Jackrabbit says:

    The previous update, where Nondrick found that cure disease potion. Are we all for him drinking it

  452. dupersude says:

    Oh right. Forgot about that.
    Tough question…
    Like Chris said, basically all of Nondrick’s work up until this point has been to CREATE the damn thing. What’s going to happen after he drinks it? Just go back to roaming the countryside for ingredients?
    For some reason, I think that option *might* discourage chris from making anymore updates. Ever.
    Maybe he should just do one last entry and get Nondrick murdered or something, to wrap it up.
    Perhaps a long stroll to dive rock…

  453. Jackrabbit says:

    I’d hate that, but not as much as waiting for a new update. I guess it’s possible.

  454. dupersude says:

    Yeah it’d suck to have Nondrick’s adventure end prematurely, or intentionally. But it’s probably better to KNOW there won’t be anymore updates than hanging out on the edge of our seats for 6 months at a time.

  455. Heh, I’m beginning to like dupersude (obviously derived from superdude) and Jackrabbit…

  456. dupersude says:

    ^-^ Wooo. Sense of belonging coming on… I AM HOME. :P
    Heh. Funny story behind that… when I was fourteen and fresh to the interweb, I started on habbo hotel. >->
    My main account got banned and i had to think of an alt name. Coincidentially, my dog had had pup’s a couple days earlier and my best friend was coming over the next day.
    We were sitting there thinking up names for the pups and he decided to call one Super Dude…
    Superdude became the name I attempted to use as an alt.
    But it was taken
    So I donned the name dupersude instead, one word, no caps… And i’ve used it by default since.

  457. i love it.
    I hearby extend an invitation to join the elite ranks in The Hiatus Crew!

  458. dupersude says:

    Woo! I gladly accept. :D

  459. Hey, what the hell is wrong with you, Putzy? When the hell did you get the authority to invite ANYONE to the crew? Sit back, and look how the ELDERS do it.

    Dupersude, I (NOT Putzy!) invite you to join us! Muwahahahahahaha!

    Up yours, Putzingburg!

  460. dupersude says:

    Welllll I’m already a member. A registered member.
    But sure. Two invites never hurt. In fact it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling, getting two invites.
    The kind you can only get from a pack of Doritos and a bowel liquefied babies. :D

  461. dupersude says:

    A bowel OF liquefied babies*, sorry.

  462. Hey! i never got a official invite…. wait, i invited myself………… on another note….. ah shit forgot

  463. Alexander says:

    I think you’ve more than missed the window.

  464. Jackrabbit says:

    Hi, over here! Pay needless amounts of attention to me! Anyone? Hello?

  465. This is elementary stuff, people!
    There is the Hiatus Crew, and the Hiatus Religion.
    I’m the Pope, chief Rabbi and a serious ayatola of the religion!
    Michael is the vice president of the religion!
    Come ON, everyone! We sorted this out months ago!

    Vadermath: Fuck you, buddy! I’ll invite who I want!
    G: Heres an invite to make you feel better *invites*

  466. Jackrabbit says:

    You have a religion now? Do I have to pay money to hear about a space tyrant who nuked earth with sad-bombs untold millennium ago? Because I am SO over that now.

  467. dupersude says:

    Speaking of religion, I had an interesting conversation about Le Vay Satanism the other day…

  468. Jackrabbit says:

    I’m not familiar with that one.

  469. dupersude says:

    Neither was I. Their religion is interesting, in the sense that it’s basically atheism. They don’t worship the “devil” if such a thing exists or any sort of god/demigod. They hail *Satan* which, in hebrew, translates to The Questioner, Objection, etc. They’re more stern believers in science than anything, and so they don’t believe in anything really spiritual or supernatural. They perform rituals for no more than emotional release and symbolism, and have highly philosophical views. It intrigued me to hear some of the things my friend had to say.

  470. are you and jackrabbit the same person dupersude?

  471. dupersude says:

    Nope

  472. Jackrabbit says:

    Hi! *waves*

  473. Jackrabbit says:

    Actually, change the name of this Satan thing and they might start getting noticed a lot more and certainly more respected.

  474. Midget52 says:

    In answer to the question WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAy back, (I refuse to use the reply button.) I know how many personalities I have (54, by the way) but I don’t know what each one is. Hence, I document them.

    I believe in googlism.

  475. dupersude says:

    So why settle at 52

  476. dupersude says:

    as a dominant persona, i mean.

  477. What the hell is wrong with our website? I can’t access it all day…

  478. dupersude says:

    I was on it a little while ago it was working fine.
    Well the main page was anyway.
    I’m trying it now though and it refuses to load.

  479. Jackrabbit says:

    Actually, I’m having that problem too. I enjoy browsing it too, so it came as a bit of a shock.

  480. dupersude says:

    oh hey its working now

  481. dupersude says:

    Uh, wait. No. It seems to be a little temperamental.

  482. superdude says:

    If I change my name does the little picture change?

  483. dupersude says:

    Maybe my email?

  484. dupersude says:

    BOOYAH.

  485. The site’s not working…. oh damn, on another note i happily accept the invite putzy, now im a official member, a little late but cool…. and dupersude of course thats how yo change your picture.. duhh

  486. Did anyone ever notice Santa calls ppl ho's? says:

    It’s true

  487. dupersude says:

    I’ve been reading through the shit with Jaded Empath for the last hour or so.
    What a jew. Lolol.
    Anyways I’m off to bed. NIGHT.

  488. LOL!

  489. woot

  490. site works forums fucked

  491. dupersude says:

    Thought so.

  492. bed?

  493. you can’t go to bed

  494. If your a member of the hiatus crew you must be able to transverse another dimension go to sleep for 8 hours and com back to this dimension and only 1 seconds has passed. Don’t you know anything about dimension traveling?

  495. p.s putzy let chris out….. please he needs to update… or is he a sort of a slave? is he buyable?

  496. dupersude says:

    Sleeping for 8 hours/1 second doesn’t give me the same refreshing wake up as a normal 8 hours/8hours sleep does.
    I think I’m *officially* going now.
    I have to resist the comics…
    NIGHT GUYS.

  497. dupersude says:

    OH BTW.
    Agreed with G.
    How much do you want for him?
    Do you have paypal?

  498. I’m looking forward to seeing more entries about Oblivion from Chris. I’ve been hanging around The Elder Stats website trying to find some new characters and custom classes to try, and it’s made me want to read some more from this blog. Hopefully Chris can get back to this blog soon. I know that he’s busy with First Person Shouter, but it would be nice to see some new entries here.

    Maybe Chris should make a forum and have sections for each of his blogs so that his fans can discuss them (or has he tried something like that before)?

  499. Who’s the LOL guy, BTW?

  500. As Vice President of the Hiatus Religion, Blessed by The Goat, I forbid the use of the reply button. It only messes this place up, hard to find what’s new etc, so let’s please stick to the normal commenting. Amen.

  501. #
    G Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    The site’s not working…. oh damn, on another note i happily accept the invite putzy, now im a official member, a little late but cool…. and dupersude of course thats how yo change your picture.. duhh
    Reply
    #
    Did anyone ever notice Santa calls ppl ho’s? Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    It’s true
    Reply
    #

    #
    LOL Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    LOL!
    Reply
    #
    LOL Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    woot
    Reply
    #
    LOL Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    site works forums fucked
    Reply
    #

    #
    LOL Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    bed?
    Reply
    #
    LOL Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    you can’t go to bed
    Reply
    #
    G Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    If your a member of the hiatus crew you must be able to transverse another dimension go to sleep for 8 hours and com back to this dimension and only 1 seconds has passed. Don’t you know anything about dimension traveling?
    Reply
    #
    G Says:

    June 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    p.s putzy let chris out….. please he needs to update… or is he a sort of a slave? is he buyable?
    Reply

    they are all me…. i was just changing email and name this is the result. Explosive randomness.

  502. forum not fucked ‘ne more?

  503. The forum was never fucked. It’s just under maintenance, shit people, learn to read.

  504. dupersude says:

    I failed to see any maintenance message on the home page. And clicking the forum yielded nothing but an error saying the page could not be found.

  505. I think I’m going to teach myself to play the keyboard. What’chu guys think?

  506. Huh… That’s… Odd.
    I posted on Philosiphisationing a couple days back.
    When I was reading the forum, my post popped up as me, dupersude yep everythings fine.
    I go on just now.
    And I’m displayed as anonymous…
    An attempt to log in sez my account doesnt exist.
    And now I can’t make a new one cause that part of the forum is apparently down.
    WHYYYYYYYYYYY GOAT. WHY.

  507. Maybe because you need an invite from me. What’s your e-mail address?

  508. Oh. I failed to understand that. DAMN YOU PUTZY/VADERMATH YOU MISLEADING BASTARDS.
    shadow.samus@gmail.com

  509. Of course. Why trust them? I’m the one to trust.

  510. Aw, shit. Sadly, the site is still under maintenance. Although, it’s me we’re talking about. I’ll make sure you’ll get in ASAP. Damned webs! Hey, trust me. I have cookies!

  511. Indeed… is there some sort of email notification orrr is it like an “unlock account” thing where that email can now be used to register…

  512. Ah i see. No problem. :3

  513. OH. YOU SAY COOKIES?!
    DO YOU HAVE THE PLAIN-FLAVOURED COOKIES WITH M&M’S IN THEM?! THE KIND THEY SELL AT MY WORK?!
    Mmmm I do love those M&M Cookies… All warm and moist and chewy….
    …. Fuck. I’m stopping by there on my way home. I dont care that it’ll set me back about 2 and a half hours. I WANT SOME DAMN COOKIES.

  514. I know which cookies you are talking about. They are totally awesome! And yeah, of course I have them! And yeah, I’ll invite ya as soon as I am able to. Don’t worry.

  515. I don’t get it though.
    You putzy and vader are all Mods on the forums…
    Yet they weren’t able to actually invite me?

  516. They suck. I don’t. That’s why I can get you in.

  517. But I got in before
    Then was removed </3

  518. Gaiz. just because i love you all so much (despite my short time here)I decided to do some digging in an attempt to bring back Max and Washcloth…
    And… Well…
    I think I may have brought Max back to LiO. Hopefully he’ll get my message and things will unfold from there.

    FOR THE HIATUS!

  519. Where is everyone today…
    Actually this is kind of sad
    i’m hanging out on a hardlyeverupdated blog’s comment page for people to talk to.
    :(

  520. crew what crew? of course were not gonna be around the hold point of having a hiatus crew is to be on hiatus…

    Yes i like spouting shit, but doesn’t everyone?

    04:34 PM on 06/16/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
    Michael: Teets.
    Michael
    Moderator
    Posts: 142

    Holy shit.. anon has commented on our site without registering! THIS IS THE END

    THAT WAS ME. THAT WAS MY ACCOUNT. I HAD REGISTERED AND I HAD POSTED AND THEN I TURNED ANONYMOUS AND COULD NO LONGER LOG IN. :(

  521. Jackrabbit says:

    Can I join this new fangled ‘crew’?

  522. JACKRABBIT.
    ………… Hi there.

  523. Jackrabbit says:

    Hello!

  524. Jackrabbit says:

    Oh, wait, this is a test, right? I know this, I know this…

    I’m gonna go get me a coffee.

  525. dupersude says:

    LOL.
    I left TAFE shortly after that.
    Am at home now.
    Will be on here alllll night waiting for Michael to work his magic…

  526. I officially invite you, Jackrabbit! But the requirements for entry are:

    – Must have at least 2 (2) recommendations from members of the esteemed Society of Awesome People(SAP)

    – Must be able to rub general stomach area with one hand while simultaneously patting own head

    – Must enjoy my TALES

    Those are the requirements for entry.
    As Chairman of the SAP organization, I hearby give you a recomendation.
    One more recomendation from another SAP member and you will be in!

  527. Waitwaitwait…
    Is the SAP different to THC??
    Or do I officially have 3 recommendations…

  528. DAMN YOU, PUTZY! I invite you, Jackrabbit.

  529. Ah, good, thank you. And now, I simply need basic motor skills!

    Can’t… rub… stomach…

  530. Oh yes, and I also need to know how to join. I’m stupid, you see.

  531. Oooooooooooooh. Thats how.

  532. Woahwoahwoahwoah. So… the SAP is responsible for inviting to THC?

  533. I’m in the SAP. I invited myself. And I also believe I have the full right to do so as I’ve been around for a shit load of time and have commented like the most. And also, Jackrabbit. Our Crew is not new.. it’s been around for like 8-9 months. By the way… where’s Addicted?

  534. I always thought Chris’ sake was a play on Christ’s sake.

  535. Yeah I assumed you already knew you were in the SAP Michael. Of course your in! You an’ me hav’ been tight fo’ agez! I am, of course, joking. I sent a hitman after you two months ago. I haven’t received confirmation of your location yet, but he says he’s close.

  536. A hitman eh…. can i invite myself into Sap?, to late im in it…..

  537. I love this show ^^

    On Another note.
    Hitman Blood Money was an awesome game (imo of course) that I fell in love with.
    Any mention of a hitman brings me nostalgia… Sighhh.

  538. making one of those stories should take like 2 hours tops, and most of that time would be spent playing an amazing videogame, ur a lazy cunt

    • “making one of those stories should take like 2 hours tops, and most of that time would be spent playing an amazing videogame, ur a lazy cunt”

      And you’re a prick with a sense of entitlement and no sense of when to capitalize or punctuate. Get a life and/or read a book.

  539. Break it up, bitches!

  540. I’ll give you “break it up” in a minute..

  541. Dupersude. Do not use the reply button, PLEASE! Like I said, it just messes the whole comment thing up.

  542. THERES A BETTER EXAMPLE. :P
    I only used it because the post I was aiming at was wayyyyy up (Jaded’s post)
    The second one (about max’s blog) was a little ways up… So I used it
    Lowest one, yeah you’re right i didn’t need to reply to that. But it didnt really make much of a distance as i was second from bottom anyway…

  543. Son… I am disappoint.

  544. difference* not distance.
    Fuck.

  545. Son… I am moar disappoint.

  546. I am sorry
    Please
    Accept this sacrifice as repayment for my sins against the great and almight Goat.
    BRING FORTH THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN BABY GIRL.

  547. Almighty*
    MOTHERFUCKERASJKHDSJKDHASJKH ><

  548. HA! FEEL THE BURN!

  549. So then the bitches and the HOES
    Said ‘man we gotta ROLL
    So get on board BRO’
    We got a fuckin’ SHOW!

    Sometimes I rap…for no reason…

  550. Hey, good news from Chris! If you haven’t been following him on twitter (if thats the case WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?) then allow me to present this! Rejoice!

    ” It has been pointed out that I should probably update one of my blogs before the heat death of the universe. I am in agreement.”

    *Before* the heat death of the universe ladies and gentlemen! Things are looking up!

    • …it’s gotta be us some-one said “Heat kills me”. He’s referencing us!

  551. Midget52 says:

    Wow!So that means there’s a good chance he’ll update before december 2012!

    Unless the Mayans are wrong. But they have never lied to me before.

  552. you can always trust a Mayan.

  553. Jackrabbit, I doubt he was referring to LIO. He hasn’t updated FPS for a while too, and knowing how much love we get for him, I doubt it…

  554. “The Green Lantern Says:

    May 1, 2009 at 5:40 pm
    A NEW COMMENTS SECTION!!!!!

    Kidding.

    At least we know your alive and well, Chris. I was just reading some of your essays from notmydesk and I think those could tide me over for a few more days.

    This probably just saved your life.”

    I lol’d at the “few more days” bit…

  555. yeah, he escaped from my basement. Get a net.

  556. (A van approaches from the distance, stops in front of the comments section. A bunch of suits jump out.)
    “Secure the perimeter! He’s Loose! Get those civillians in quarantine!”

    … What have you DONE PUTZY?!

  557. its not my fault! a rat chewed through the wire that powered the containment field, and the guard was asleep at his desk! The prisoner was also chained though, so I think he had some inside help…I’m looking at the newcomers!

  558. *gasp!*
    ME?!
    Well! I NEVER!
    ALTHOUGH… It does sound as though someone was talking rather fast just now… AS THOUGH MAKING UP EXCUSES! I’M LOOKING AT YOU PUTZY.

  559. Putzy, YOU FOOL!

  560. Only a fool would have problems with rats….. i say in we shall trail putzy and dupersude for the possible reason of letting chris escape. We should chain putzy and dupersude with a heavy weight then stick them in some water, if they float, there guilty, we kill him , if they stays under for 5 minutes, we shoulld rescue them, they are obviously innocent.

  561. Did i just post the 700th comment? cool…

  562. Have you seen all the rats around here? Its making me crazy! First this guy decides he’s gonna make a million, opens a fancy restaurant: Rats in a Cream Sauce, Rat Flambe, Rat Necrom with Bonemeal Gravy, Deep-Fried Rat, Lemon Rat and Wild Rice, Rat Ragu with Powdered Deer Penis! Of course, when the guards found out, they ran his sorry butt out of town, but they left the rats. Rats!

  563. Rat? where? kill it!!!!
    I’m so awesome…. i’m offcially the most awesomest person in the world, sorry michael who held the title before me, and before him was putzy but he lost it when chris escaped…

  564. Michael was awesome for 8 hours.. :P

  565. A worker goes into the Cheif’s caravan, he sees the cheif sleeping and wakes him up.
    “Sir, Sir.. wake up, good news sir!”
    “What?”
    “Sir!, we’ve captured it”
    “Good, lets put him back in”
    “arn’t we…. ermm.. gonna kill it?”
    “what, kill Chris? why the fuck would you wanna do that?”
    “Chris is that the rats name? you know, the rat that chewed the cable…..”
    “You mean you don’t have Chris, but instead you bring me some, some RAT????”

  566. ok thats so lame, and so un-awesome… maybe i shold have described it better.

  567. What broke my awesome combo? The rat thingy? And what made me awesome in the first place, the I am disappoint thingy? I’M SO AWESOME

  568. All you need to know is that your at the top again.

  569. but don’t worry i’ll beat you… soon..soon

  570. Wow.. I’m the most awesome guy ever. Hooray!

  571. Midget52 says:

    Are you forgetting… LARDMAN?

  572. Look up in the sky
    Is it a bird, a plane?
    Its PUTZY bitch
    I’m bringin’ the pain!

    I got a fan installed in my grill;
    NO LIE
    Gonna blow your ass straight off the map
    GOODBYE!

    So blow me phoney
    your whole acts baloney
    you don’t even pose a threat
    I ain’t frettin’ it homie!

  573. I believe I have regained my awesome status.

  574. Son… I am dissapoint.

  575. You all, are FOOLS. Only I understand the TRUE power of the DARK SIDE.

  576. It’s rich and creamy.

  577. I’ll rich and creamy you in a minute

  578. Great. It seems dupersude is gay.

  579. SEEMS it.
    But I assure you it’s all just a joke.
    Oh god.
    You should *hear* some of the shit my cousin and I say to each other…
    It’s hilarious yeah, but kind of creepy sometimes…

  580. OH GOAT*
    SORRY
    TYPO
    FORGIVE ME GREAT GOAT

  581. Son.. I am disappoint.

  582. I fuckin’ lol’d.
    Doin’ it right.

  583. Disappoint son. Disappoint.

  584. Midget01 says:

    Dude… I can feel the negative energy. Chill.

  585. the salesman says:

    moo

  586. Tharron says:

    I am so dissapoint! Yes The Fibers are insane! Now Run up the hilll!!! QUickly DO IT NOAW!

  587. wrong wrong wrong WRONG DOIN’ IT ALL WRONGGG. ><
    THE GAME. I LOST IT.

  588. Guise, you’re doin’ it wrong! Sons… I am disappoint.

  589. Stop with the disappoint!

  590. Michael says:
    *take care of the Crew
    Michael says:
    *;D
           Forgiven           says:
    *I will
           Forgiven           says:
    *>:)
    Michael says:
    *the fate of the crew… lies in your hands
    Michael says:
    *;D
           Forgiven           says:
    *Oh really?
           Forgiven           says:
    *Thats cool i guess…..
    Michael says:
    *oh yeah
           Forgiven           says:
    *……. >:)
           Forgiven           says:
    *LOL
    Michael says:
    *for as long as im gona
           Forgiven           says:
    *Sweet! :D
    Michael says:
    *gone
    Michael says:
    *lol
           Forgiven           says:
    *I’m like
    Michael says:
    *yeah
           Forgiven           says:
    *your heir
           Forgiven           says:
    *;;;D
    Michael says:
    **hands over the golden key of Goat*
    Michael says:
    *oh yeah
    Michael says:
    *and im like king
    Michael says:
    *see ya!
           Forgiven           says:
    *SWEET
           Forgiven           says:
    *:D
           Forgiven           says:
    *bai
    Michael says:
    *buh bai

    … MUAHAHAHAHAHA

  591. Um. Ok. I don’t really get what just happened, but I can assume that dupersude is making a grab for Hiatus Crew leadership, so I will shoot him down in flames.
    *shoots flames*

    Seriously though, I think the SAP should be where political shit goes down. And no, before you ask, I’m not saying that as Chairman of SAP I should be in charge. I mean things that concern all of the Crew should be discussed by the High Council. It would sound cooler that way.

  592. Not making a grab for it, Michael left it in my care while he was away. He hasn’t come back yet. :D

    And now the stress of leadership sets in…
    WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE INFANTONIUM SHORTAGE?! JESUS CHRIS, THINK PEOPLE! THINK!!

  593. NONE OF YOU HAVE LEADERSHIP.

  594. Of course not. Only fancy titles :)

  595. The hell, a community in a blog entry comment section?

    … Is the internet awesome or what?

  596. FANCY TITLES FTW

  597. I dunno, I’ve never seen a Flamboyant Pencil in real life, so I guess so.

  598. I have. One bit me once.

  599. Midget52 says:

    I haven’t been able to create any new infantonium since we stopped actively hunting babies.

    I used most of it in the Chris 2.0 . That project failed. Due to a typo in the programming, he is now good at whining. Don’t ask how i could have misspelt ‘writing’. Stupid wireless keyboard.

  600. Jackrabbit – Did it get infected??

    Midget – I’m working on the infantonium. (H)

  601. It did not. I used an eraser on the wound

  602. Then it’s all falling into place…

  603. ohey by the way, I got my hands on a copy of Plants vs Zombies. Awesome! :D

  604. Flamboyant-pencil’s favourite game is Little Big Planet. ‘Nuff said.

  605. Whut. It’s a fun game, god dammit.

  606. So many people so many un-awesome comments, Midget is now the awesomest, putzy is second, amd third, micheal is fourth, ( barely) Dupersude is fifth ( you are so close to taken over fourth) jackrabbit’s sixth and wadermath is seventh…. P.s who ever is the most awesomest, takes over sap.

  607. So many people so many un-awesome comments, Midget is now the awesomest, putzy is second, amd third, micheal is fourth, ( barely) Dupersude is fifth ( you are so close to taken over fourth) jackrabbit’s sixth and wadermath is seventh…. P.s who ever is the most awesomest, takes over sap.fff

  608. G, can you please post a ‘criteria’ for being awesome?

  609. I think it’s in order of who gives him the most lulz..

  610. Yo guys. Got a question.
    If you’re eighteen
    Is it possible to take people who are underage into a restricted movie? E.g. Bruno. Is it possible for an 18+ to get an under 18 in?
    Or for an 18+ to get an under 15 into an MA15+ movie etc.

  611. Just realised bruno is MA15. Bad example.
    Strange… Could’ve sworn i read that it was R18 somewhere…

  612. Not sure, but it *should* work, considered they aren’t age-nazis. When one of my mates was 12 he went to a 15+ movie with a 13 year old mate of his. I don’t think there’ll be any problems. Just show ’em your tickets AND MAKE A RUN FOR IT!

  613. They are here. You can’t even buy a ticket if you don’t have an ID card. I have a beard (not an uber long one, but still, a beard longer than any 15 year old i’ve ever known) and still get asked for ID to prove I’m over 15…

  614. in answer to G:
    Thats not how SAP leadership works. I made it, I own it. Just like I made the religion.
    Also, out of curiosity, how you you get a copywrite and/or trademark?

  615. You go to the patent and register dudes, I think. Then you have to pay loadsa cash and you’ll own it.. I think. Also Putzy, does killing you promote me to Chairman of the SAP and Pope of the Religion?

  616. Seconded lol.

    putzy –
    Copyright/Trademark is usually copypasta’d from disclaimers, but you can type them with alt codes 169, 0169, and 0153 (That’s for Registered, Copyright, and Trademark respectively)

  617. Oh right you meant literally…

  618. Hi guys.

    Sorry I barely update the blog and don’t join in the conversation :) I neglect you guys worse than I neglect my girlfriend!

    I updated it today anyway. and my birthday party sucked ass, no one showed up.
    … we all went drinking the next weekend though and I bitched about it so much everyone bought me drinks.

    Can you say TEQUILA?

  619. Not after I’ve had a few, I can’t.

  620. Aspgren – how much is that (neglection for girlfriend)? So much you don’t know if she’s still your girlfriend or not? :D

    • well she’s actually my EX girlfriend now :)

      but i did neglect her back then indeed i did. mainly because she was a bitch :D now i’ve caught the eye of a foreign beauty and life is good.

      also i should be at the top of the awesome list because i can attract people of the opposite sex. hah.

  621. Hold the phone, people. G, by your estimation I am seventh in awesomeness? You do realize you have signed your own death penalty, don’t you? And you signed it with blood coming out of the place your dick once was.

  622. I thought something like that too…

  623. G, Vadermath is gonna blow you. And then bite your dick off. That’s what he meant. OOOOH THE BURN!

  624. michael’s has lost 50 awesome points, Vadermath has gained 50 awesome points, Jackrabbit has lost 150 points, Midget and all his personalities, have lost 100 points simply not posting. Putzy you may have made sap but i control who’s awesome and not, through my independent org which i made, i forgot what it was called, look in the forum. so putzy loses 100 points. the high score. Dupersude gains 60 points.

    1. Midget
    2. G
    3. Dupersude
    4. Putzy
    5. Vadermath
    6. Michael
    7. Jackrabbit

  625. ok, forgot that Last comment, The awesome highscore, has been taken away, see forum when i re-create it, through my org, only I can remake the awesome high score, for the moment, your all as awesome as each other.

  626. Equality… not bad, I guess.
    Though I did like the idea of being 3rd most awesome….

  627. oh and some actual figures would be nice. :D

  628. God fucking dammit!

  629. I will have actual figures, you will all start off at 0

  630. will all my previous TALES and reaps count? Cos it might be unfair to everyone else if they did >=)

  631. Also, in answer to (dupersude, I think?)’s question about killing me to become leader of SAP, it would actually be kinda redundant, because if you killed me then you would be permanently expelliarmus’d from the group. The vice chairman, however…

  632. That was Michael’s question I believe, not mine.

  633. FUCK YOU, MICHAEL! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  634. The game.

  635. Midget52 says:

    I lost awesome points because I didn’t post? I was busy! BUSY!

    Is that a valid excuse? I have a list. One involves Elmo.

    Seriously.

  636. KingFrozen says:

    Ok…

    I feel left out… I’m not even on the list…

    but im ROYALTY! and i have mental issues like most famous and awesome people!

  637. I think theres more than just one person missing, King..

  638. Duh…

    hence why am going to remake the Awesome list, and hence why we’re all going to sart at 0, because i can’t be asked trawlling through all the comments and giving points, so if we start at 0 andy NEW posts will be awesomed…

  639. any* p.s spelling mistakes will lose you awesome points, oh and the awesome list may take a while, me has some coursework to be doing…

  640. I once killed a puppy.

    How many points is that?

  641. Then you and I are somewhat in the same boat, Aspgren.
    My ex: “Don’t stay up past 11. Dont eat too much. Dont eat too little. Bitchbitchwhinebitchwhinewhinebitch. You never do anything for yourself. Stop playing video games. Why is the computer more important than me?? DONT LOOK AT PORN IM A JEALOUS WHORE.”
    K the last bit was a little exaggerated. She didnt call herself a jealous whore. But the rest was 100% true.

    • Uh. “Don’t stay up past 11.” .. what? did you date your mom or something?

      We’re totally not on the same boat.

  642. I said somewhat :P
    She was an early person.
    And an idiot.
    Believed that staying up late was unhealthy regardless of whether or not you had adequate sleep the following day. But still. She woke me up early (8 am) anyway. EVEN ON THE WEEKENDS!

    • Still sounds like your mum.

      A quote from my ex: “Don’t listen to what I say, listen to what I mean!”
      Another one: “Hey. would you like to see a strip show?”
      -Idunno, maybe. With you?
      “Yeah we could go together or something I think it’d be exciting ;)”
      -Well sure. I’d love to go.
      “YOU PIG!”

      Setting traps, telling lies and expect me to listen what she “means” when she complained last week I should listen to what she says and not read too much into things.

      So yeah. Whatever. I guess I could have figured her mad ramblings out if I hadn’t neglected her :) hahah. Still. Not the same :P not even by a longshot.

  643. The point is.
    They were bitches
    We are rid of them
    And we have others now.
    :D

  644. Ohoh, just remembered something.
    We were sitting at a friends house one night, and someone decided to put some porn on.
    About 20 seconds into it, my ex leaned over and grabbed at my crotch to see if i had an erection, which i didn’t (not with her around. o-o). When she realised I didn’t, you know what she said?
    “Good boy.”
    :/

  645. Lucky bastard :P

    • 1. Your ex seemed pretty crazy actually. Some kind of mother complex I think.
      2. Luck has nothing to do with it.

      I’m not into relationships so I just pick up girls. We got this casual friendship/sex thing going on and they all know the rules. Though if I’m to be honest there are 2 girls who are all about sex.
      The others are more about drinking/hanging out/traveling with instances of petting and sex.

  646. Yeah when we broke up she started making up all this shit about me, telling people we were still dating 3 weeks after we had broken up, that i was sending her abusive emails and stalking her and being obsessive.. Thanks to her, I now have some enemies who’s identities remain a mystery to me. She was pretty crazy. I don’t know how we lasted nine months, how I could be so blind. But it happened and its over now. Thank Goat. :)

  647. Agreed.
    DAMMIT CHRIS WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!

  648. Midget52 says:

    No, it’s “where the BLOODY hell are you?”. Get it right.

  649. indeed? Is that a line from something? :S

  650. australian ad campaign gone wrong. it had some sexy aussie girl walking around our beaches and stuff then say ‘where the bloody hell are you’ to the rest of the world.

  651. I dont get it :S

  652. by that i mean i’ve never seen the ad and fail to see the point of it. Lol.

  653. Who cares about the origin.

    Everyone uses it now and it’s charming.

  654. ,…

  655. Oktoberfest!

  656. In other news, I won’t be here for the next 10 days. I’m off to Greece for a vacation. See ya guys in a week and a half…

  657. but it’s so greasy there …

  658. Midget52 says:

    All those in favour of feeding Aspgren to a tiger for saying that joke out loud?

  659. I never really new him. I only recently got into his music. All I feel is apathy, but not because he was a bad person. RIP regardless, MJ. I never knew you and will never have the pleasure.

    So, moving on.

  660. His face and music has been plastered all over the radio/tv today. That chick from charlies angels hasnt got nearly as much attention… I find it lulzy.

  661. KingFrozen says:

    I know, she was heaps hotter. Don’t sexy people make the news when they die?

  662. Michael was sexy. Didn’t you see his nose job? Damn, that was hot…

  663. so what your saying is, we should kill Michael?

  664. OHHHHH that michael! I meant the michael in our group.

  665. Same thing, right? ;) :P

  666. Wait. One of the angels died?

  667. EXACTLY.
    The first one, blonde chick from the first series ever about 40 years. Whatshername Lara Faucet or something?

  668. errr. Farah Fawcet**

  669. I never watched the old charlie’s angels … but she was beautiful back then no doubt.

    Thing is she lived on that beauty. While Michael was mentally damaged (and not a pedophile he was just so childish himself that people got uncomfortable) and turned into some kind of plastic monster later on…

    Well Michael could still sing. If he sang to you and did his thing the women would faint and the guys would rock. This is why he’s the king. Because he’s the best.

    Farah on the other hand …
    http://hottestgossip.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/farrah-fawcett5.jpg

  670. Midget52 says:

    Haven’t you learned anything from the past? Famous people don’t die! They just go into hiding/change identity/get abducted by aliens. Like Elvis!

  671. The Green Lantern says:

    Bet you didn’t guess that Miley Cyrus is actually Tupac.

    *sounds of nerdy heads exploding*

  672. And I bet you didn’t know I’m actually Elvis! Err… nevermind!

  673. Nice try but it’s quite clear that your name is Michael… JACKSON!

  674. The Green Lantern says:

    I knew it!

    These last few months you have been staring at my son an awful lot, Michael JACKSON.

    And for this, you must die.

    Again.

  675. The green lantern has a son?

    Wow I never thought I’d say it but I haven’t read enough comic books …

  676. Whoa! Don’t jump to any conclusions here!

  677. The Green Lantern says:

    I jump to whatever I goddamn well please, Michael.

  678. I jump to platforms in the Water Temple!

  679. I jump to lulz at putzy’s post.

  680. Midget52 says:

    I jump to gain altitude!

  681. I jump to slam dunk!

  682. You fool! That will INCREASE fall damage!

  683. Excellent… It’s allllll falling into place…

  684. So do we have a midget who jumps and a dude who grabs him in midair and slamdunks him for maximum fall damage?

    That’s what I get out of this exchange anyway.

  685. in the middle of the water temple, putzy jumps from platform to platform avoiding the boss (a tactic i never bothered with. corners ftw) whilst midget jumps above him and i jump to slam dunk midget for maximum fall damage. I jump to liking this story.

  686. I jump to conclude that I’ve started a new jump fad.

  687. I jump to agreement with you!

  688. Puh-lease! Jumping is SO june 26th.

    It’s like I’m talking to my grandparents over here.

  689. The Green Lantern says:

    It’s like I’m talking to my grandkids over there.

  690. Sweet jesus .. the green lantern has GRANDKIDS too??

  691. It’s like I’m talking to my COUSINS over here…
    I jump to family reunions! ;D

  692. I’m jumping on top of your Heavy, BONK!

  693. The Green Lantern says:

    Michael, get off of my Heavy.

    You don’t belong there.

  694. I jump to my post being 4075! At least I think so, I read every single comment on this page before posting.

  695. Hey, my post says it’s 6:08… OBJECTION!!! It’s 1: 09 where I am.

  696. Microwavability says:

    chris died

  697. Microwavability says:

    some fucking goblins jumped him

  698. Microwavability says:

    beat him to a pulp

  699. Microwavability says:

    and stole his loose silverware

  700. How sad… :(

  701. Wow. HOW COULD YOU LET IT HAPPEN!

  702. Hmmmm
    `
    *clicks chris’ corpse*
    “resurrect”
    `
    *Slices chris’ corpse to pieces*
    THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS FOR NOT UPDATING LIO!!!!
    `
    *clicks the remnants of chris’ corpse*
    “resurrect”
    Annnnnnnnnd a brand new shiny chris stands before me…
    Rinse repeat. >:)

  703. but there is no resurrect function in oblivion …

    … personally i got really disappointed in that game because i searched far and wide and did horrible quests for gruesome demons. I wanted in on the resurrection and necromancy.
    Oh yes I didn’t want to cheat though so I tried to figure it out through the game. I read the books, I searched the shops. I snuck around in the basements … all my efforts were for naught though.
    Not only is the “black soul gem” you need a friggin quest item. You also cannot use it.

    I was sad. So I returned to my home and beat up the adoring fan a few times.

    … oh wait. You can resurrect through the console. Crap. Forgot that one.

  704. Midget52 says:

    Console? PC gamers are so lucky…

  705. Console gamers don’t have a console?

    Methinks you’ve been ripped off somehow.

  706. Thats what the “`” represented. it’s the key you press to open the console in the PC version of oblivion.

  707. Can you make npcs do stuff through the console besides ressurecting them? Then we could make chris update this blog. I’M A BIT TIRED OF WAITING altough reading the comments section makes the wait more entertaining.

  708. You can do anything with the console.

  709. YEEEEESSS!

    ` make npc “Chris” update LIO

    • Sadly, some random guy … you need to press § to open the console and then move your mouse cursor over the npc and click. When he is selected you type “resurrect” or “drop pants” or “turn into Charles Manson” …

      … so you can’t force him to update until you find him and click on him with your cursor. :(

  710. Not true, Aspgren.
    You can also open the console -> prid(pick reference ID) xxxxx, where the x’s are his reference ID. But for that, you WILL need to find his ID, which you can find in the Construction Set. This will give the same result as clicking on him. Only that now he’ll be targeted instantly, and you don’t have to go look for him :D Then you just enter: ‘Update LIO, for Goat’s sake!’

  711. We’re here to entertain people with our… questionable antics until Chris UPDATES THE SITE RAAAAAGH WHY GOD ASFJRSTWEEFDDTARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE

    Okay, better now.

  712. … that scared me. Well actually those thoughts went through my head when I posted that comment.

  713. Hey the console worked! There’s a new twitter post on FPS!

  714. But no new post on LIO… WHYYYY GOAT WHY.

  715. Hareichisan says:

    WHYYYYYYYY!?!?!?! Please post sooooon!!!!

  716. Tharron says:

    Awh sweet! He jus tmade a new comment!! something bout LIO continuing on youtube Watch for yourselve!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

  717. IT’S A LIE. A RICKROLL. I SEEN IT IN THE TAB BEFORE THE VIDEO STARTED. GOAT DAMNS THEE.

  718. Tharron says:

    No its not what are you talking bout!!! FOol the GOat shall Roll over they! and devour thou soul! For telling such lies!

  719. Kingfrozen says:

    AAAAAHHH! dammit. I didn’t see the warning, and aaahhh.

    2 words Tharron: Fuck and You

  720. That was three words.

  721. I believe his first word was “Fuck” and his second word was “you”.

  722. That was his intention yes. He should however have written “fuck you” or “fuck” and “you” … but he wrote “fuck and you” and that sounds like a guide for scared virgins.

    Fail.

  723. I seen your point butyeah
    This is the internet, remember? :P

  724. Yes I know.
    And the internet is good for two things: porn and screwing around. :D

  725. Thus, The Hiatus Crew is born!

  726. My cousin died from watching a rickroll. True story. =(

  727. Do you remember me, Chris? Yes you do, don’t lie to me.
    You remember me, how I loved Not My Desk and visited it several times a week from late-2000 onwards.

    But then you stopped writing, didn’t you Chris? With no fucking warning to your humble fans. Sure maybe you posted something on the forums, but the posters there mostly argued about language syntax and spelling. So I was left there, floating in the ether.

    Then, by chance, I happen upon Livin’ In Oblivion.
    It’s good, Chris – really good.

    So come on, Chris…give us another update. I read your old NMD posts about how you used to abuse yourself in storage rooms while temping. Surely I deserve this in compensation???

  728. I don’t think chris ever reads these. Sorry.

  729. You should be sorry.

    It’s your boring entries that keep him away.

  730. KingFrozen says:

    i like andrew. hes almost one of us… but he has a life, especially since this is his first post

  731. My ex’s brother’s name was Andrew…
    And hey! I have a life! ..Mostly…

  732. Anyone else notice that the blog’s title could also be interpreted as “Livingston in Oblivion”? No reason the apostrophe can’t omit five letters instead of one (e.g. “5 o’ clock” instead of “5 of the clock”).

    Wonder if it’s just a coincidence…

  733. I thought that issue had already been revised earlier on in this section, or in one of the previous ones?

  734. Thanks for the compliment, KingFrozen, but if I’m spending my spare time reading up a blog on a fantasy RPG, I can only loosely be described as having a life.

  735. ……………
    …….. I like you…

  736. No life? I got an idea.
    Go on a hiking trip guys. I feel it’s a great way to get to know people, to get in touch with nature and just feel great. It’s good exercise!

    Climbing a mountain I haven’t tried. Not even a small one, you guys try climbing brokeback mountain and tell me if it was hard or easy. worth it or rubbish.

  737. It’s not so much that I don’t have a life, I have a life. It’s just that I set high priorities for what i define as a “friend”, and in doing so i have a lot of “acquaintances”.
    Before the semester break (which I am now on) I was studying at TAFE (for you non-australians, tafe is kind of like… College. But not college. Less classy and you dont get all those fancy degrees, just certificates and such), which was 3 days a week. Every thursday after tafe I’d go into town for latenight shopping (thursday is the one day a week all the stores are open til nine, which happens to be the time of the week all of my “friends” or “acquaintances” hang out) So I would have one day a week in which to meet with people, socialise, etc. and then the rest of the week/weekend was mostly spent online. Unless my girlfriend happened to find a way for us to meet up, usually by going to the movies, and that only came once every week or two.
    Oh and today I managed to sneak over her house! SCOREE!
    But yeah, besides that, and besides the five day holiday I’ll be taking this friday – next wednesday, my life is spent online. So generally, no life.

  738. Oh and I forgot to factor in 4 – 10 hours of work a week. Not to mention my job sucks.

  739. Dude, dude, dude.

    Brackets man. Sentence structure. Dudeee … I don’t care man. Really. didn’t even read it.

    Read what I said again. It was just a gay joke.

  740. Fuck sentence structure. This is the internet, not high school.
    You were joking about hiking?
    I like hiking… Walking and landscapes and that sort of stuff.
    I take photos you see.

  741. Sorry Aspgren, let me rephrase that.
    “I take photos, you see.”
    I didn’t put a comma in there the first time. ;)

  742. fail

  743. It’s summer vacation, I don’t have a life at the moment.

  744. It’s my life. I don’t have a life at the moment.

  745. “Seriously, I’m working on it, and it should be here in week or so. It’s pretty obvious you have no reason to believe me, since I’m always saying stuff like this and never delivering. But it’s coming, and it’ll be here soon. If it’s not here soon, you’ll see it eventually. If, eventually, you don’t see it, it’ll be here someday.”

    Geez. It’s like you work for Valve or something.

  746. THAT’S IT! How couldn’t we have thought of it sooner?! It was obvious! He’s become a game dev and now he won’t have time for Nonny anymore… it’s sad, but that must be it! I’m a genius! So smart…

  747. Signs of the end of the world.
    1. Michael is a genius.
    2. Chris updates.
    3. Irrelevant spam spamming.

    Lets see if the above comment is true then it seems through my logic were going to see a update.. that is of course.. if the above comment is true.

  748. and of course this is MICHAEL were talking about….

  749. There is no such thing as “irrelevant” spam. Spam is posting comments with links to porn sites and such. Wait, I think I just contradicted myself, damn!

  750. Irrelevant Spam was a bitch that came on here arguing with the hiatus crew, not long before i joined in i believe. Originally named Jaded Empath, but she changed her name to “Livin’ in Oblivion for Nondrick, NOT irrelevant spam!” So we all call her/him/it irrelevant spam. Pretty sure it was a woman though, who else could keep nagging like that?

  751. KingFrozen says:

    ^^lol

    also, she filled in that many more spaces than we ever could. Nice going, she really was a fucking hypocrite. Can we not dwell on this, coz i get really angry. Then i get upset. Then i get sulky. You wont like me when im sulky.

  752. “Hey look! It’s the incredible sulk!”
    “Don’t pick on me… I get angsty when you pick on me… You won’t like me when I’m angsty…”

  753. Yeah, I know, I read like, every single comment on this page before posting. In other news, 96 comments to go until 1000!

  754. Guess who? Dat’s right, I’s back motha fucka.

  755. Dat’s right, I’s back motha fucka is back!

  756. Fear micheal, he shall always have last post.

  757. >:C

  758. Please forgive me! It was an accident! Don’t send them after me again!

  759. I hate when people do that spelling mistake. Like, are they really that stupid? My name is fucking Michael, not MichEAl. No offense to the random guy, just that once i spelled out my name to a foolish girl who was supposed to write our names down. This is about how our conversation was:

    ‘What is your name?’
    ‘Michael.’
    ‘Uhm… how do you spell it?’
    ‘*Sigh* M-I-C-H-A-E-L. Michael.’
    *I look at her paper to see what she writes down*;
    ‘M-I-C-H-E-A-L’

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  760. Are they really that stupid? I’ve always thought telling people their IQ was below zero was a joke, but now I wonder…

  761. I am not the smartest guy around, often stuff I’m looking for is right in front of me and I don’t see it.

  762. That happens to me at times too. However, misspelling a name that was just ‘read’ out loud? Letter by letter? How can one fuck that up? And also this happens VERY often.. I guess ‘Michael’ is a too complex name for the average Swede. Ah, the biggest difficulty with my name is the pronunciation you see. In Sweden(where I happen to live), the most common spelling of Michael is Mikael. With a ‘K’ instead of ‘CH'(it looks ugly with a K, lol). So when they(majority of shit-heads) see ‘Michael’ spellt with a ‘C’ and an ‘H’, they immediately think ‘Michelle’. Rage and lulz ensue.
    Rage, because I’m angry at them being so fucktarded, and lulz because they ARE so fucktarded.

  763. I’m not swedish, if that’s what you’re implying, but I can see why you’re angry, and I apoligise for being a fucktard.

  764. No, no. I’m just telling you that. And yes, it is very upsetting.

  765. I know how you feel, people call me kylee all the the time, yet my name is obviously kyle.

  766. Oh yeah. You don’t pronunce the ‘E’, right?

  767. Yeah.

  768. That’s how awesome I am.

  769. Are you saying your silent L is better than mine?

  770. Actually, it’s my ‘A’ that is silent! FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU another one!

  771. That’s strange, how do you pronounce your name?

  772. Try pronuncing Michael Jackson. It’s pronunced the same way(when speaking English, that is).

  773. So it’s mike-ul. My brain is confused by my logic(of which I have none).

  774. Oh yes. Or, mike-el, both will work. In Swedish it’s pronounced in a strange way.

  775. Ah! Mike-el, that’s the pronounciation that I thought sounded like it had an a sound in it. My brain is no longer confused!

  776. Pronounciation is confusing at times, son.

  777. True, true.

  778. 65 comments until 1000!

  779. I’m gonna be 1000th!

  780. Do I sense a challenge?

  781. YES!

  782. BRING IT!

  783. IMMA CHARGIN’ MAH LAZOR!

  784. gravity cat is not amused.

  785. IMMA FIRIN’ MAH LAZOR!!!! BAAAAH! You’re dead.

  786. HAAAAAAAX!

  787. I won!

  788. I thought I was missing out on something, which is why I signed up so I get an email everytime something happens. Great idea I thought … but what is this?

    Is this what I got 30+ emails for?

    “I hate it when people spell my name wrong! .. oh shit typo.”
    “Yeah I understand, I hate that too. oh fuck typo!”
    “whine whine whine”

    Who cares about names, man? and like… lables? you’re not your nameee maaan it’s like. your naaame should try to be yooou you knooow? it’s like. your naaame is working FOR you. think about that man? that’s the truth maaan .. sheeeit ..

  789. Rematch time! But this time, my power level… IT”S OVER 9000!!!!!

  790. Did I mention that in this form my power level is over A MILLION?

  791. THATSOVER9000!!!!

  792. Whine, whine, whine… and more whine!

  793. aspgren: if you throw sauseges(or however you spell it), I shall throw NUTS!

  794. Michael: Whining? Lets hear you say that after this! HADOKEN!

  795. PINGAS used HARDEN!

  796. Some random guy used lightning!

  797. Michael used Flamethrower! It’s Super-Effective!

  798. SRG used hi-potion!

  799. Michael used Earthquake!

  800. SRG used Slash! It’s super-effective! SRG gains xp from super attack!

  801. Michael used Horn Drill! It’s a one hit KO!

    Some random guy fainted!

    Michael gained over 9000 experience points!

  802. SRG took a phoenix down! He’s revived! Wha- SRG is evolving! It’s… Goat! Stats:
    Health:999999999999
    Strength:9999999999999
    Defense:999999999999
    Abilitypoints:99999999999999

  803. I repeat my last move. Also, items are not allowed in VS battles! Cheater!

  804. I’m not a cheater, I used a gameshark, there’s a big difference.

  805. THEN I USE GAMESHARK TO ERASE YOU FROM THIS BATTLE! I won!

  806. YOU CANNOT ERASE GOAT! I SMITE THEE!

  807. I summon the Goat, and the Goat uses Headbutt!
    It’s divine power kills you! And your Gameshark exploded! WHAHA I and Goat won!

  808. … THIS IS MADNESS!

  809. …Well, I’m off to play video games.

  810. CHOCOLATE RAIN!

  811. I’m back, hey what’s that- OH GOD! I”M ALLERGIC TO CHOCOLATE!(not really)

  812. Ah. This is true. That’s better than sparta and madness.

  813. 25 more comments ’till 1000!

  814. KingFrozen says:

    wow… no life, but im glad i can help you two loser achieve your 1000th comment. maybe i should just spam this place to i get the achievement?

  815. KingFrozen says:

    spam to reach 9000! i mean 1000

  816. KingFrozen says:

    woooooooooooooooooooooooo SPAM IS FUN

  817. KingFrozen says:

    Never gonna spam u up

  818. KingFrozen says:

    never gonna let you spam

  819. KingFrozen says:

    never gonna run around and spam you

  820. KingFrozen says:

    never gonna make you spam

  821. KingFrozen says:

    never gonna spam goodbye

  822. KingFrozen says:

    never gonna spam a lie to hurt you

  823. KingFrozen says:

    10, now 15 to go

  824. KingFrozen says:

    14 after this

  825. KingFrozen says:

    13 after this

  826. KingFrozen says:

    12 TO GO

  827. KingFrozen says:

    11 MORE

  828. KingFrozen says:

    New years countdown!

    10

  829. KingFrozen says:

    9

  830. KingFrozen says:

    8

  831. KingFrozen says:

    seven

  832. KingFrozen says:

    six six six

  833. KingFrozen says:

    ha ha ha (is korean or something for 555)

  834. KingFrozen says:

    4

  835. KingFrozen says:

    3

  836. KingFrozen says:

    2 to go

  837. KingFrozen says:

    The one after this is post 1000!

    I lied, it is now up for grabs! Anyone wanna fight to the death?
    Huh?
    You feeling lucky? Punk?
    *pulls out revolver*

  838. Its July already, you promised an update in April!
    WE WANT UPDATE
    WE WANT UPDATE
    WE WANT UPDATE

  839. Lol, it’s past 1000 already. KingFrozen, your counting sucks!

    Also, I hate you. You spammed up the site just so that you could win. Fucker.

  840. KingFrozen says:

    I’m proud of what i contribute.

  841. Sweet.

  842. 39 new emails in my inbox today …

    You fuckers are going to get it.

  843. DAMN YOU! YOU GOT 1000 WHILE I WAS ASLEEP! GFKDFVBFGKBBNRAAAAAAAA!

  844. The same shit happened to me.. I know what it feels like, I know what it feels like…

  845. Microwavability says:

    worst

  846. Microwavability says:

    fan service

  847. Microwavability says:

    EVAR

  848. has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

  849. Microwavability says:

    wat

  850. WTF?

  851. KingFrozen says:

    I think he meant to say “[actual translation]”. Man you guys are stupid, and yes Michael, i have :P

    [Achievement unlocked: Spam Overlord]

  852. I’ll just pretend to understand so I look smart.

  853. I wonder if this is how 4chan started.

  854. The Game.

  855. 4chan was started by people smarter than me, so probably not.

  856. 4chan was started by one man. Venturing into 4chan is like venturing into the bowls of your worst nightmare. Flesh covers the walls, blood runs in rivulets and terrible, insane people berate you and make accusations about your sexual preferences. You run, but it’ll always come back, around one in the morning, when you wake up sweating, sobbing. You cannot, you can never, ever, unsee.

    So yeah, 4chan’s alright, I guess.

  857. :awesome:

  858. KingFrozen says:

    Um… its like Looking into the BOWLS of your worst nightmares? You did mean bowels right?

    And 4chan is ok, but … um… what game did I just lose?

  859. KingFrozen don’t pretend you know what 4chan is.

    If you don’t know what the game is it’s pretty obvious that you don’t.

    Also some of our worst nightmares have bowls.

    I for one am afraid of chili.

  860. It’s a bowl. There are two girls kneeling by the bowl. It is bigger than a cup, but still full. Nightmare.

  861. 4chan is a nice place. I’m happy moot created it.

  862. My Goat. They’ve gotten to him too.

  863. HAHAHHAHA. Jackrabbit. Look at your little image. It’s a fucking swastika! HAHAH

  864. The Green Lantern says:

    So what’s everyone’s take on the new Max Payne?

    I, for one, think that the new setting is pretty cool.

    Max kinda looks stupid though.

  865. Oh Goat. They’ve gotten to me! I must have Strangelove syndrome! Must… not… Nazi… salute…

    Anyway, I’m male. If there’s really good explosions, gunfights and sex in the Max Payne movie, I’m happy. A good plot and believable characters would be nice too but you can’t have everything.

  866. Max Payne? I am completely indifferant.

    … if we were talking Mad Max however? I’d squeal like a beatles fan or possibly a wounded pig!

  867. The Green Lantern says:

    So what’s everyone’s take on the new Mad Max?

    I, for one, think that the new setting is pretty cool.

    Max kinda looks stupid though.

  868. Max Payne is a good game. Max Payne 2 is also a good game. Max Payne 3 will probably be a good game, too.

    Max kinda looks stupid though.

  869. FutureCam says:

    Ve vant update!
    We want update!
    They want update!
    I want update!

  870. Won’t happen today, son!

  871. Alright. That’s it.

    I’ve had it. I loved living in oblivion and I loved concerned. I love first person shouter and I loved notmydesk … but Chris, seriously, you’re just sitting on your hands.

    You’re not worth this wait. It’s not enough. Screw you and the horse you rode in on!