Nondrick's Non-adventure

Bravillage People

So! Before we were rudely interrupted by the passage of sixteen months, where the heck were we?

Oh, right. Nondrick. That guy. He had been winding up his tour of Cyrodiil, headed for Bravil, suffering from a series of wolf-born diseases, and having no luck finding the ingredients needed to cure them. After entertaining dark thoughts of the theft of a Shepard’s Pie, he stuck to his vaguely defined principles and was rewarded in true karmic fashion, finding a wild herb that allowed him to brew a potion that would cure his wolf-cooties.

That brings us roughly to… now! Bravil! An ugly, dirt-poor city on the Nibeny Bay. Having spent the night in the affordable and aptly named Lonely Suitor Lodge, he decides to spend the day doing what he always does: mixing and selling potions, walking around slowly, and talking to everyone about anything that won’t lead to quests and adventure.

That last part isn’t exactly easy here in Bravil. While their main import is poverty and the color brown, their leading export appears to be intrigue. Almost everyone in town wants to talk to me about something called The Forlorn Watchman, which I’m guessing isn’t just a city guard who can’t find a date.

In the Mage’s Guild, an Argonian named Kud-Ei wants me to help her find her missing friend, Henantier, insisting I am the only one she can trust with the task despite the fact that I just walked in the door ten seconds ago. The other mages are passive-aggressively chatting about someone named Aleron Loch, who is also missing, hoping I’ll overhear and lend my questionable investigative skills to the case. Don’t these people ever go to the cops when someone disappears? There’s also more talk about The Forlorn Watchman and a few chat to me about Necromancers. The only thing positive I hear is someone recommending that I steer clear of mudcrabs. Can do!

Wandering around outside, I start to see why people don’t go to the cops: many of the citizens are drug addicts, and probably don’t want the narcos snooping around in their business. A door advertises itself as a “Skooma Den”, and two dudes are feverishly chugging down the drug right outside in broad daylight. I sort of wouldn’t mind Nondrick getting his hands on some Skooma (he’s no square), but the door to the den is locked and these two won’t share. Guess I’ll have to stick to wine.

Popping into the Fighter’s Guild for a moment, I watch two members hacking away at each other in a friendly sparring session, taking a break only long enough to tell me that The Forlorn Watchman is a g-g-g-g-ghost! So, ghosts, missing persons, necromancers, drug addicts… I figure real estate can’t be too pricey around here. Maybe I should inquire about a house.

I stroll over to the castle to talk to the only real estate agent the city has: the count. Naturally, he doesn’t want to sell a house to someone who he just met: the guy who oversees a town full of junkies and ghosts doesn’t trust just anyone with his valuable real estate. Luckily, I’m pretty good at winning people over, and after quickly divining that he loves a braggart and hates being admired, I convince him I’m worth selling to.

After poking my nose down in the jail, just to see if there are any interesting prisoners (there aren’t), I get lost in the castle for a bit, somehow winding up in the servant’s quarters and then the dining hall. When my slow pace finally leads me back outside, it’s dark, so I head back for the night. I check out the other inn, which is a little expensive, but chock full of interesting looking company.

I’ve got a couple things planned for the next few days. First, someone mentioned there was a Speechcraft trainer in town, so I’d like to track him down and see if he can give me a boost to my already impressive conversational skills. Second, after charming the innkeeper with my aforementioned silver tongue, Nondrick’s odometer turned over and I’m due to level up while I sleep tonight. Wow. I only started this blog in 2007 and Nondrick is already on the brink of Level Six! Amazing.

Finally, the Count told me the house for sale only cost 4,000 septims, the cheapest residence I’ve found besides my hovel, and I’ve almost got enough coin to afford that. Of course, the town is full of spooks and scumbags, and I’m entirely not sure I want to live here. To make my decision, I’ll need to explore the area nearby and see if the landscape is littered with enough plants for an ambitious, level-climbing alchemist like Nondrick to survive on.


  1. Midget52 says:

    Wow, you followed through with it! And with quality! I could so hug you right now. Imagine a pair of disembodied arms reaching out of your computer screen and pulling you towards it in a cold digital embrace… Or don’t, because that’s really bloody creepy.

  2. Yayyyy Nondrick!

  3. The amazing return of Nondrick :D

  4. Ahh… What a fix! It feels good to get updates like this again!

  5. Well then says:

    Yesss! So glad Nondrick is back!

  6. Ok, guys, I figured out how to break the italics again, so here you go!

  7. Atta boy Chris, now take of your pants! I mean erm..

    AWESOME UPDATE, it amused me. :D

  8. Atta boy Ian, I knew I could rely on you, shame I never thought of that!

  9. huhmasta says:

    about frickin time :D

  10. Played Ian. Played.

    You have redeemed yourself.

    Also holy shit. What.

  11. Meh, easy stuff. I just opened the source of “Alchemist’s code” and searched for the word “italics.” Then I just found G’s posts and looked for where people started being confused about the font. That gave it away.

  12. So glad you’re back, Nondrick! Your encounter with your bald blue-clad doppleganger is still the hardest I’ve ever laughed at work and then hastily closed the web browser.

  13. 12 comments? Really? That’s it? Well, hopefully more people will realize that a small miracle has occurred and will flock back in no time.

    Glad to see updates again, and I know I’m totally looking forward to more! :3

  14. Michael says:

    Wow, an update, and with great quality. I giggled on several occasions.

    Also, thank you, Ian, for restoring the comments section to its former state.

    Being broken.

  15. Fant Astic says:

    Yey, more Nondrick, finally! Don’t let the internet down.. Chris’ writing is awesome, but really hard to follow him between all his half finished projects.

  16. GetOutOfBox says:

    Thanks for bringing good ol’ Nondrick back :D I Hope we’ll get regular updates again. I’d even be happy with just a monthly update :)

  17. Thanks, Michael! That means a lot! I wonder if there’s a way to fix them again… Then we could collaborate to unitalicize annoying people, then re-break it after they comment.

  18. Fantastic! I knew I could count on you, Chris! And by “knew I could count on you” I of course meant “braced myself for a year and a bit of waiting”. But here it is! And italics have been restored! This might be the best day of my life.

  19. I was introduced to Nondrick via a friend, who looks a little something like Nondrick himself. This tale is absolutely brilliant, and I’ve been waiting for it to continue. I’m so happy it’s back! *swoon*

  20. Nathan Betzen says:

    I was addicted to this at one time. I can tell already that I’m going to be addicted again.

  21. dupersude says:


  22. I’m concerned that dupersude is having an anurism…

  23. During the last few days, I copied the entire adventure to date (minus interludes and such) into a Word document and – with font adjustments, image size reductions, and judicious use of text wrapping – massaged it down to a mere 63 pages (it was about a hundred plus that unformatted). I also converted the document to a fifteen-megabyte PDF.

    The point was to create a convenient way to review Nondrick’s adventure so far. Something I didn’t have to load one installment at a time. Something I could print. Something I could read in bed.

    I’m willing to make the PDF available to others (saving other fans of Nondrick In Conjunction With Dead Trees from compiling their own), but I’d prefer to have Chris’s approval first. As @GoldHoarder I did tweet him about this; no reply but (a) it was a lot to ask in 140 characters and I didn’t have room for any obvious keywords like “Nondrick”, and (b) I don’t know Chris’s policy wrt replying to tweets from total strangers.

  24. Do it. Dooo eeeeet. Although obviously the real brilliance is in the comments section, but just as you wish.

  25. dupersude says:

    Do want. I don’t see why there would be any problems with it. It’s not like you’re selling it for profit, or subtracting from Chris’ own.
    Though I do think if you’re going to upload it, that it would be better to wait until Chris wraps the story up so you can upload it from start to finish, and not have it stop abruptly on this post. Unless you plan on updating the PDF every time he makes a new entry.

  26. killthenrun1 says:

    Holy shit yes my life is complete.

  27. killthenrun1 says:

    Also lol at only in 2007 and Nondrick is on the brink of lv 6.

  28. I’m about to wake up, am I not?

  29. All is right with the world.

  30. Yeah, I could definitely use a pdf of all this! That would be great!

  31. killthenrun1 says:

    Yeh that would be good.

  32. killthenrun1 says:

    Also is it me or is the picture qauility higher?

  33. Midget52 says:

    Hey, Nondrick has been linked by PC Gamer!

  34. killthenrun1 says:

    Oh hell yes more random new people.

  35. Nicely done! I never knew it was big enough to catch PC gamer’s eye back when he was active… But hey! Sweet!

  36. killthenrun1 says:

    Yep this used to be fucking massive featured on every site, infact all of chris’ old stuff was massive like valve knowing about his comic his recent stuff not so much.

    But atleast he has returned to form.

  37. killthenrun1 says:

    Also did anyone else buy DNF.

  38. Hot. I like it.

  39. dupersude says:

    It appears that Chris’ audience was in fact larger than a group of lonely misfits hanging around a dead blog’s comment section to converse with one another… Huh… ;_;

  40. OK, here’s a PDF of the episodes up to and including The Alchemist’s Code. As previously stated, it is very large. Hope it’s useful.

    Chris hasn’t approved this, but he hasn’t said no, either. If it turns out he has an issue with it, I’m easy to contact. I’m @GoldHoarder on Twitter, my email address is on my blog’s sidebar, and I’ll be reading this comment thread for at least a while longer.

  41. I saw another atleast. :/

  42. Who says you need to leave, Dragon? Why, you could stay with us… FOREVER! Large hams aside for the moment, thank you for that PDF. I feel it shall be quite useful to all here.

  43. Indeed. Now I can read all my favorite Nondrick adventures on my Nook! Life = perfect.

  44. I like you, Dragon. You’re a pretty awesome guy. I think you should stay.
    I also think the Crew should go here:


  45. I was slightly amazed to find that your writing style hasn’t changed in the slightest. Which is a compliment, by the way. If not for the date, I’d have no way of knowing that this was written some two years after the last post, which was itself written about a year after the one before. Bravo.

  46. Gaaahh, next thing you know we’re overrun with “alot” and “alright.” I give up.

    And I still think you’re cool, dupersude.

  47. Woah, I never knew “alright” wasn’t a real word. Thanks for the heads-up Blackbird, I shall endeavour to change myself for the greater good.
    And, WOOHOO I’m immune to falling from coolness!

  48. Also, did you click the magical link??

  49. I did.

  50. Yes I seen your post right after I posted that.
    Now if Chris’ blog somehow goes down, all is not lost!

  51. Huzzah! We are self-perpetuating FOR ALL TIME!


  53. *cackles diabolically*

  54. killthenrun1 says:

    Can i have some of that immortality juice?

  55. Facebook/Hiatus Crew crossover? Not sure if want. Um.

    Also Dragon you are a pretty cool guy, etc.


  57. killthenrun1 says:


  58. A) You’re no incentive.
    B) I said CREW MEMBER’S click, not annoying stragglers. God damn.

  59. killthenrun1 says:

    I am part of the crew i did the tests and everything, also i know but peer pressuring is fun.

  60. No, you’re not. You got annoying quick and the few who had given you invites (if any) withdrew them. The rest of us… Well, we just never gave them.

  61. killthenrun1 says:

    I was joking it is not my fault you do not like my joke.

  62. Indeed.

  63. Do it, Arreh! Follow your heart and click the link :)

  64. And then don’t forget to like the page when you do!

  65. killthenrun1 says:

    Anyway one the topic of abusing me where has Joey gone?

  66. I liked the link….

  67. killthenrun1 says:

    So did i.

  68. Oh man, I’m so happy it is back. Please don’t stop updating again, haha.

  69. Marco!

  70. dupersude says:


  71. Oh there you are. I thought the place was deserted.

  72. dupersude says:

    I never left, I just don’t like provoking that thing.

  73. It doesn’t take much, does it?

  74. I’ll like the link, fine.

    I’ll even stay if you can get rid of Lewis/KTR.

  75. You mean the chav?It really looks like a chav. I’m calling it a chav anways.

  76. Midget52 says:

    Damn, and I’m all out of Aerogard.

  77. I had to Google chav AND Aerogard. I like learning new things xD

  78. Gather ’round, everyone; this is an important announcement.

  79. Yes?

  80. dupersude says:

    A) no unfortunately, it doesn’t.
    2. I think/hope I did. It may just be offline though.
    iii. Chav? Is that the slang word for those kids who are like emos or something bit wear their jeans tucked into their socks?
    Quatro- what announcement???

  81. dupersude says:

    Chav? Is that the slang word for those kids who are like emos or something BUT wear their jeans tucked in??**

  82. killthenrun1 says:

    Sadly i am not a chav like i clearly stated that is my friend as i hate facebook. Also chavs constantly have there hands down their pants, act hard when they are pathetic. Also to read hoodies.

  83. dupersude says:

    You in a nutshell.

  84. Ha, nice one dupersude. Anyway, I liked the link. Hope you guys don’t mind. Oh, and OOH OOH! Announcement time! Announcement time!

  85. An announcement? I sure hope it a joyous occasion, one where food is plenty.

  86. killthenrun1 says:

    How is that me in a nutshell, like i have said several times that is my friend i dont have a FB.

  87. killthenrun1 says:

    You know what I am sick of this I lurk and see you guys having fun and just chatting so i start talking and try to join your crew. Yet all i get is grief I am apparently a hanger-on despite the fact you are a group of people who syay on the same web page for years waiting for an update, apparently i am a troll for trying to talk. I think it is just you guys no-one seemed to have this problem with the older members like green lantern and midget but i think you have turned into pricks, you cannot also use the excuse you are a group of friends as i tryed to be friends with you yet just insult me. I am just going to ignore the comments and constantrate on the reason everyone is here Nondrick, i cannot even speak to people about Nondrick as they are all drown out by you.

    And for people to lazy or ignorant to not read TL;DR I am leaving the comment section so you guys can be pricks togther alone.

  88. Dude, I’m sorry. Now I feel bad :(

  89. please keep doing this!

  90. dupersude says:

    If you’ll recall, people did accept you at first. You even got a few invites into the crew, but then started going the other way. For starters, it is physically painful for some to read posts without proper punctuation. And you never used it, ever. You did make an effort to improve your grammar, yes, I will give you that. Well done. But coupled with your earlier posts, which if you remember, were painful, you also posted them ALL the time. Like, ALLLLL the time. You pretty much did a Joey right there and flooded the comments on your own more than the Crew itself did. That and the constant “lol I’m going to kill you all” got old pretty fast. Humor around here is like a river, in that it flows. Quickly.

    Basically, TL;DR, We LIKED you. If you fix those small issues of a) being joeys clone, b) grammar/punctuation and c) keep the jokes different, you’ll probably fit in better.
    I will admit what I said was rather cold and I apologize for that, but to be honest that was and is exactly how I treat Joey, and as I said you’re kind of his clone now.

  91. Jeex, everyone chill.

    I’m pretty sure this is exactly what KTR wants. Quit whilst we’re ahead.

    Heh. A head.

    Also I forgot my announcement.

  92. dupersude says:

    A valid point, Arreh. The perfect troll tactic to kick us in our hypothetical group testicles while our guards are down!
    Also, heh.. Head…
    And god dammit, remember!!

  93. I have an announcement: I am sadly lacking in testicles.

    Arreh’s announcement is bound to be better than that.

  94. dupersude says:

    Ah but I already factored this into account, you see, that is why I said “hypothetical group testicles”, as though the Crew itself had it’s own pair that everyone shared. Which were hypothetical.

  95. You are clever to account for that.

    I have another announcement: if you guys haven’t seen HBO’s Game of Thrones, you absolutely need to. Do it now!

  96. dupersude says:

    Yeah what is that exactly? I seen multiple people including yourself mention it. I did a quick search and gathered it was some kind of tv series? What’s it about?

  97. Friggin awesome sauce, is what it is.

  98. Yeah I read about it on the Facebook page and seen the HBO logo, wasn’t sure if it was a series or a medieval themed reality game or something… It does look interesting, but over here in drop-bear land you need pay tv for those kinds of channels.
    And I don’t have pay tv.

  99. Midget52 says:

    Let your Foxtel deficiency be solved, dupersude! Assuming of course your internet has a decent cap, decent download rate, etc.

    I watch Doctor Who there, get it a week and a day earlier. Fun!

  100. Well, I love the books, so I’ll probably get it on dvd or summat.

    Also my girlfriend’s msn got hacked. You guys know the internet pretty well; would you mind asking around and finding out who it was? I think it might be that 4chan guy. Or maybe Joey.

    When the hacker talked to me, they were polite but condescending. This shall not be tolerated.

  101. Don’t know any hacker, ‘cept that one guy in school who happens to know what questions come up in the exam before we do them. Inside man or hacking, no one knows.

  102. It must’ve been that 4chan guy… what’s his name.. Oh yeah! Anon! Anyway, I’m really sorry that happened, Arreh. I know how sucky that can be.

    Oh, and KTR… The only reason we stopped including you was because your antics were getting old. The grammar and punctuation, etc, left much to be desired, especially when few web browsers don’t include a spell check of some sort. And I agree, the killing is no longer funny. Sorry, if you’re not a troll, we never meant to hurt your feelings.

  103. New Mod Guy says:

    Not sure if you’ve heard of it, but the Cyrodiil Upgrade Overhaul, allows you to play almost exactly what you are writing about. It introduces several lore-friendly additions including repeatable “gathering” missions for the fighter guild where you collect ingredients, The merchant’s guild, where you become a well-paid delivery boy for Cyrodiil’s high-level merchants, Join the legion and do patrols for 100g a week, and there’s the option to gather ingredients for Necromancers from various tombs (some haunted, some not). Combine this with realistic fatigue and Basic Needs, and you can play an NPC, totally ignoring all quests and living a completely normal life.

  104. How did this place suddenly become so deserted?

  105. Ian started talking about KTR.

  106. … So did dupersude… Just skim over that part.

  107. I think he meant it as a joke, as apart from New Mod Guy, you were the last one to post and your post mentioned KTR. But anyway… He actually hasn’t posted since then. Man I thought he’d be back for sure.

  108. Yeah, me too, really. Interesting mod suggestion, new mod guy, but I’ll pass for now. I like the experiment using largely vanilla mechanics + a few fixes/ additions. I think I’m gonna try my own again.

  109. Your own LP?

  110. Ian!

  111. Well, I was thinking more of just playing a Nondrick like character. I don’t generally do lets plays and stuff. Unless you guys want me to, of course.

  112. Last.

  113. I wonder if I can fix the italics… Worth a try, I suppose.

  114. None can fix the italics. They are the holy message of Goat himself. All hail Goat!


  1. […] while playing the game. Highly recommended for story lovers. The newest episode is here, and to help you catch up, I’ve created a very large PDF of all the previous episodes (or you […]