Nondrick's Non-adventure

Day Eight: Treading Water

Dawn arrives at Mortal Camp, finding a very sluggish and sleepy Nondrick P. Cairk’tir. Still, there’s a long way to walk today, and those flowers aren’t going to pick themselves.

I should be able to reach Skingrad today, provided I don’t have to wander too far from the road or have to set any women on fire. Time to get moving!

Not far up the road, I spot a wolf sniffing around. Eager to avoid a confrontation, I hunch myself over, thus becoming harder to see or at least convincing anyone watching that I have painful bowel cramps. The wolf wanders about but never leaves the road, so I decide to engage it at range with a fireball. I miss, but hit it a couple times as it races over. Weakened, it’s not difficult to finish off with my sword.

Along with the usual 10 gp pelt, this wolf was also carrying a fork. It’s not worth anything in gold, though it does provide a nice mental puzzle, namely, why the heck is a wolf carrying a fork around?

My plan to stay on the road derails shortly thereafter, but with damn good reason. INGREDIENTS.

Holy handpicked hordes of herbs! Lookit all this primo shit! The woods positively come alive with things I can gather and sell! Flax seeds, Columbine Root Pulp, Lady’s Smock leaves, Motherwort Sprig, Elf Cup Cap, Nightshade… the list goes on and on! It seems like every few feet there’s a new cluster of flowers. It’s like wandering into a field of cold hard cash. I wasted my time paddling around Anvil harbor and wandering in the dead grasslands to the north — this is the place to be.

Forgetting about my schedule, I wander off the road, first to the south, then to the north, grabbing double-handfuls of everything within reach. Eventually, I stumble upon a small dwelling named Shetcombe Farm. Well, I could stand a break for lunch, or maybe some company, so I head inside the farmhouse. I walk in and a sudden thought pops into my mind.

Hm. Yeah, I guess I could— Oh, no no no no no. No, no. Nice try, game brimming with adventure, but you’re not roping me in that easily. I’m not searching around for nobody. I’m not doing nothing. I’m leaving.

I exit the farmhouse, annoyed. Active quest? Clue to whereabouts? That’s not my idea of excitement.

In fact, I stumble upon my idea of excitement a few moments later, in the form of a small swimmin’ hole near the farmhouse. You know, it’s a beautiful day, I’ve gathered a ton of valuable ingredients, and I haven’t had to murder any attractive women… maybe I’ll have a little dip in the pond!

I strip down to my skivvies and slip into the water. Yes, that’s right, I removed my armor and clothing before entering the water, just like one would do in real life. Lookit me, maw, I’m roleplaying! Man. You’re not gonna find shit like this on other blogs.

I paddle around a bit, enjoying the warm sunlight, the cool water, and the gentle wind blowing through the trees that brings to mind the sound of ungodly leathery wings flapping.

Wait a second… ungodly leathery wings?


  1. haha, I must wonder though how you set up the last shot without the creature attacking you

  2. This just gets more and more awesome, I can’t wait for nondricks fish face to get clawed at

  3. last two screenshots rock!! great ending xD

  4. Add me to the list of people wondering how you got that sweet shot. I can’t ever seem to look at my self head on, only from behind.
    Can’t wait for the rest of day 8!

  5. Andrew, hold down the key for third person and move the mouse around so move the camera about.

    I see that Nondrick was smart enough (Or strange enough…) to keep his sword tied to his nappy-like growth.

  6. Near Elite says:

    Last shot is hilarious.

  7. Nice. I fear this may be the end of Nodrick. I mean,he has a face o ugly that itcould make a Vvadenfell Cliffracer die ooking at him.And he has crapy items. So how’ll fish-face survive an Imp? I hope Nondrick wns though….

  8. May I ask where that quest was found?

  9. This blog is bizarrely exciting. It’s like, when you’re determined that nothing should happen, suddenly anything can happen.

  10. Those things are so.. Androgynous. But they’re pushovers, so Nondrick can take it!

    … But then again, that sentence also applies to Nondrick… This could be epic! Perhaps you could go more than just ten days? Maybe two weeks. Or.. A month. It’s so awesome! Keep it up! And don’t die.

  11. Yeah this is really exiting. Wonder what will happen to Nordrick next

  12. sweet. last panel is great.

  13. do more my good man

  14. Awesome i was linked to this from facepunch studios and i love this. Continue being awesome :D!

  15. Also, I wonder how Nondrick’s Morality will be questioned when he finds the Vineyards outside of Skingrad..

  16. Duck and cover!

  17. he’ll be fine, look how heavily muscled he is for an average guy..

  18. This story/blog/whatever is cool.

    *joins the “People who wonder how the last screeny was taken” guild*

    I was linked from Facepunch too…

  19. ungodly leathery wings

  20. SHAKES THE CLOWN says:

    i love ungodly leathery wings

  21. Alexander says:

    I join the club wondering how you got that shot and start the club wondering where Nondrick laid his things and who is going to take them…

  22. I love this blog, it actually seems more intense than when I play, with all of my looting and stealing.

    P.S.I love you and all of your stuff.

    P.P.S. In a non-gay way of course.

    P.P.P.S. For anyone wondering how to look at your self like that, hold down the middle mouse button and then move the mouse, It will pivot around the character until you release the button.

  23. Except for that time I tested the “Hunters Guild Mod”, I typically don’t hunt or kill animals just because they are there. Only in self-defense. Oh, that reminds me! Killing in self-defense is not murder! If it were, even more people would be imprisoned in real life! Oh, and there is a burial mod if you want it. But I prefer to cast “Polymorph Sheep” on dead enemies and give them a second live reincarnated as ewes.

  24. Lol, this is really a great blog.

    P.S.If you remove all your clothes so you can go swimming, why don’t you remove your weapong 2? getting a bit paranoid? :P

  25. Maybe the imp thought he was a fish?

  26. I’m afraid so, Nondrick. Ungodly leathery wings.

  27. that wolf reminds me of something, oh nevermind, rest in pieces random wolf #4 “completely forked”