Nondrick's Non-adventure

Day Five, Cont’d: Mixing It Up

I reach Anvil without incident, and head to Morvayn’s Peacekeepers, a weapon and armor shop near the north gate. I chat with Varel Morvayn for a bit, hoping to get a discount by boosting his disposition towards me. It turns out, he loves being coerced. This guy owns a store fill of deadly weapons and it just makes him all kinds of happy to get threatened by a fish-faced weakling! Ah, well, it takes all kinds. I sell him my three axes and buy myself a short sword. I give him 3 gold to repair my rusty dagger and my new fur boots and cuirass. I also buy a fur sheild to complete the rugged, furry adventurer look.

Look out, wolves and crabs! Nondrick is armed and dangerous! Don’t mess with me or… or… or someone else will probably show up and kill you!

I swing by the Count’s Arms to sell my ingredients, of which I have a great many after yesterday. After buying some cheese and an orange to go with my supply of crab meat, I’m at 101 gold pieces! Triple digits! A far cry from just a couple days ago.

Now, watch this clever shit. I head to the Mage’s Guild and buy a novice Mortar & Pestle (42 gp). I also buy an apple and a loaf of bread (2 gold each), knowing they both have fatigue restoring properties. I grind the apple and bread with my mortar and pestle, creating — no, no, not mushy apple-bread porridge — but a potion of Restore Fatigue! That’s right. I’m an alchemist now. Helllllls yeah.� And with those 4 gp worth of ingredients, I have created a magical potion that is worth… wait for it…

potion price

Uh. 3 gp? Hm. That… that definitely didn’t work like I thought it would. I guess I need to be a better alchemist to make expensive potions. Crap, I really thought that would pay off. In fact, I have to sell it for only 2 gp because these guys are cheapskates.

Ah, well! I needed a mortar and pestle anyway, and I’ve still got 57 gold left. Lesson learned. I briefly consider buying a bow and some arrows, but I decide to hold off for now.

I head back to the Brina Cross Inn, exploring a bit on my way back. I find a cave without even seeing it — I mean, I suddenly know it’s there but actually have to search around to find the entrance.  I’m very insightful. I psychically deduce its name (Hrota Cave) and poke around in it, hoping to find some mushrooms. I don’t find much except signs that someone lives in this cave: a barrel with torches in it (I take one), a chest with a few pieces of gold (I leave them), and a bedroll near a campfire. Yep, definitely someone’s pad — I’d better bail. Only an adventurer would poke around in a cave knowing there are bandits or marauders living in it.

I get back to the Inn around sundown — have some food, stare at Arielle, even though we have nothing new to talk about, and have a bottle of ale. Whoah! The inebriation mod kicks in, big time:

Man, a single bottle of ale hits me harder than a two-handed axe. Either Arielle slipped me a mickey, or that mod might need some tweaking. Perhaps taking pity on the poor, drunken, amazingly ugly traveler, Christophe doesn’t even seem interested in charging me for the room. I do buy some beef, bread, and cheese from him for the next day’s travels, then watch drunkenly as the ladies discuss mudcrabs and how much they don’t like them. Par-tay.


  1. Seriously, I love this. I know you said it sucked but it doesn’t. It’s making my day go by faster.

  2. well, ist great! i agree with the other dude. keep this up

  3. Ah! Yes! You actually added more of your quest. Don’t be so hard on yourself, this is some really good stuff you got here. I’ve only played Oblivion a few times (I love it, of course), but I still understand everything you’re talking about. Keep it up!

  4. Heh, this reminds me of the “Living of the Land” movement on gamefaqs. Players would set rules that basically said that the could not buy anything, only could go into cities every so often, and usually had to eat and sleep. It varied from player to player, but it was basically the same for everyone.

    Anyway, this story rocks! Keep making them. I love Oblivion; Elder Scrollls is my second favorite PC franchise after Half Life.

  5. Great stuff, I am motovated to do the same.
    in fact, I love the idea and will do it.
    I do however need the program you have that takes the screen shots, That would be all that really is keeping me from blogging my advent- er, regular days.
    cheers and great job.

  6. What a fun way to play Oblivion. Loved every part of that game and this is great. Please continue.

  7. I am not an Oblivion player, and haven’t played these kinds of games since something like 1989, but I found this story really fascinating and well told. The writing is great; the concept is clever; and the dry wit really makes the story. I also think the bit talking to Arielle was very nice.

  8. Great as usual! Yesterday I just saw a guy in my class who looks exactly like Nondrick… Except for the baldness. All of this actually inspired me on get back to playing Oblivion (which is not so good, because this game works kinda like crack to me). Not that I’ve ever tried crack, but anyway. Great job!


  10. Mr.DEEZ says:

    I love reading this non adventurer tale. i have beaten oblivion 3 times and each time i find myself extremley skilled in the art of violence.

  11. “Don’t mess with me or… or… or someone else will probably show up and kill you!”
    Heh heh that`s funny man, really funny !

  12. I guess that at school they didn’t teach Nondrick the golden rule about, “I before E except after C….”? I still think that cat would’ve yielded had he understood what you were trying to say! ;-) By the way, very funny!

  13. This is the reason blogs were created in the first place.

  14. I’ve just read all of the entries up until this one, and I’m having to force myself to stop and go to sleep. I will be back for some more tomorrow!

  15. Viagra is an oral drug for male impotence, also known as erectile dysfunction. Viagra has a great safety track record and proven effects that start acting in 30 minutes to 1 hour and last for about 4 hours.

  16. Nice, a drunk mod :P

  17. After Rock, Paper, Shotgun linked to this I have been unable to stop reading.

    You are in so many ways my hero for playing this game the ways it’s supposed to be played :)
    Adventurers, PAH! All great adventures happen when you are trying to pick a mudcrab.

    Please keep it up, I am absolutely loving your narrative.