Nondrick's Non-adventure

Day Five: Reversal of Fortune

A lovely night of free sleep at Atrene Camp, and I’m ready to start Day Five. I’ve got lots of ingredients and two axes to sell, so I think I’ll head into Anvil. Maybe I’ll have enough cash afterwards to pick up more than lunch.

As I head toward the main road, I see my Khajiit buddy loping up the road toward me! Maybe he finally wants to talk to me?

Yeah, he does. “Your money or your life,” he says. Wait, haven’t we been through this once already?

Well, it worked last time: I tell him I have no money. Now, he’ll wander off and our strange relationship will continue, right? Ha ha! Good times.

Kill You For Free

Ruh-roh. What the hell, man? I thought we had an agreement! You were the gruff criminal with the heart of gold, and I was the fish-faced putz in the vest! We were a great team!

Hacked by Axe

I guess he doesn’t feel that way. He attacks with his ginormous axe, and I backpedal, trying to ready one of the axes I got from the skeletons. I attempt to yeild, hoping for a truce, but he’s not having any. Mere feet from the corpse of the wolf he saved me from, he slams his great axe into me, drawing blood and blurring my vision.

Axe Fight

Okay. If it’s gonna be a fight, then it’s gonna be a fight. No one to save me this time except me. That’s life in Cyrodiil, baby. Quite often you wind up going toe-to-toe with the people you know best.
Suddenly, something huge and iron fills my field of vision — and it’s not the highwayman’s axe. It’s the Imperial Legion soldier I’ve seen patrolling the main road from time to time! He’s come sprinting out of the undergrowth, rushing right past me and swinging his huge honkin’ sword at the Khajiit! Unbelievable. He circles around and slams his weapon into the highwayman’s back.

The Khajiit, foolishly, continues to target me, instead of defending himself against the much larger, pointier threat. And in a just a few moments, it’s over. The highwayman is dead, and the soldier sheaths his sword, gives me a look, then marches back off into the trees to find his horse.

Well, that’s that. Too bad. I’d sort of gotten used to seeing the gruff Khajiit skulking around every time I passed. He was merciful to me, once, and even saved me from a wolf. It’s a shame, and it’s sad, how things ended up for him.

On the other hand…

One man’s misunderstood life and violent, tragic death is another man’s free fur armor and giant honkin’ battle-axe! Awww yeah! That’s life in Cyrodiil, baby! One minute you’re mugging travelers, the next, a bald twerp is leaving your naked body next to the road and heading into town to sell your belongings.

Turns out, the soldier who saved me is headed back to Anvil, so I walk along with him. Funny. The Khajiit saved me from the wolf, and the soldier saved me from the Khajiit. Who knows? Someday I might need saving from the soldier.

That’s life in Cyrodiil, baby.

Comments

  1. I just came across this page via a google search and ended up reading all entries.
    It’s great! After running around as a hero for so many hours it’s nice to relax and read about a guy like Nondrick. I’m guessing Nondrick’s fifth day was his last, which is a shame, I suppose I should get back to figuring out how to keep Urjabhi alive…stupid scout…

  2. r u gonna do day 6-10 and wer can i get these mods

  3. awesome keep doing this…even though its like 6 months old

  4. :D This stuff is hilarious. *nods* Hope you decide to write more mhm.

  5. This is absolutely awesome, you should have never abandoned it! I almost pissed my pants from laughing, since oblivion is such a great and often funny game… Really great! I think it’s even funnier than Concerned (maybe not, but anyway).

  6. Captain Bassoon says:

    MOAR!

  7. Okay, I guess BFF you are not.
    Shall Nondrick’s “adventures” continue? Or is it all too tedious?

  8. When you plea poverty, the game checks what you are showing to the highwayman. If what you have out is more than 10 gold, he attacks you. That axe probably pushed you over the limit… Heh. Keep them up, they’re very funny.

  9. This is the blog I’ve Seen! I might do one similar, but with a gimmick. They say copying is the sincerest form of flattery! Great Job Chris!

  10. Err, uh, “yield”! You must’ve confused him with your Nord accent when you offered to “yeild” to him?! Hmm. Was it Astro or Scooby-Doo that you channeled?

  11. Err, uh, “yield”! You must’ve confused him with your Nord accent when you offered to “yeild” to him?! Hmm. Was it Astro or Scooby-Doo that you channeled? (Hey, my post attempts for this are meeting with error messages!)

  12. Bastard!

    How could he do that to you?

    You guys had such a good thing going, too.

    What a shame.

  13. Rankaratar says:

    That’s life in Cyrodiil, baby

  14. killthenrun1 says:

    Thats life in Cyrodiil, baby.

  15. ArgonianLover says:

    QUIT SAYING THAT!!!!Oh my gosh,its annoyin the crap outta me!Ive also named a new Nord I made after Nondrick.His name is Nondrick P. Cark.

  16. ArgonianLover says:

    Hope Nondrick doesn’t mind!

  17. I love the last picture, its so telling. really looking forward to the rest of your adventures!