Nondrick's Non-adventure

Dog Day Afternoon

In the interest of keeping this blog a bit more lively, I’m going to try something several people suggested: post more often but with shorter posts. That way, I don’t feel like I have to write a book every time I sit down to play and blog, which hopefully means I will play, and blog, more often.

Anyway. Cheydinhal. I made it in early this morning, and as a result, Nondrick doesn’t manage to crawl out of bed until afternoon. Not much on the roster today except to sell the loot I accumulated during the trip — the many bits of weapons and armor I took off the people who forced me to kill them. Also, if you remember, Nondrick contracted Helljoint, a disease carried by wolves. Gonna have to do something about that, too. It’s a family motto of his: “Undiseased joints are better than diseased joints.” Not the snappiest motto, but they were poor and it was all they could afford.

Just down the street from the hotel, I find a weapon and armor shop. There I sell the axes and armor cluttering up my inventory. I stroll out with about 900gp.

Considering how badly I’ve been getting pounded lately, I decide I need to beef up my defenses. So long, leather cuirass. So long, newly acquired iron cuirass. I’m moving up to steel, baby. It costs a pretty penny, but the assorted bandits, brigands, and beasties outside the cities are toughening up, and I’ve got to keep stride.

I go with the steel cuirass, iron greaves and boots, trade in my leather shield for an iron one, and nab an iron helmet. Naturally, after selling the armor off my back I forget to put on my new purchases, and wander around outside half-naked for a little while.

Eventually, I realize my mistake and check out my new duds.

Eh. Kinda badass. Too bad the helmet doesn’t cover more of the face, though. The face remains a problem.

I’m going to spend the day in town, and I don’t want to clank around the whole time, so I head to a trade goods shop for some street clothes. I also mix and sell some potions, as is my M.O. After all the selling and spending, I’m around 550 gold.

There. Lookin’ like an alchemist again. I hit up the Mage’s Guild, too, hoping to sell some potions and maybe find a ‘Heal Other’ spell I can use on Beaker the next time bandits turn him into a pin-cushion. No luck. The mage on duty has a few affordable spells, but nothing to heal a hurt horsie. I buy some ingredients and mix ’em, winding back up around 900 gold again.

I come across an abandoned house as I’m wandering around. Hmm. If there’s a bed in there, it’d be a free place to sleep while I’m in town. The door is locked, but my psychic powers clearly identify the house as being abandoned… it’s a little against type, but I pick the lock and slip into the house. Harmless enough.

The place is pretty trashed. Cobwebs, broken furniture. No bed, but I find a couple souvenirs for my own home: a couple mugs, a bowl, a plate, a broom. A real find is crammed under a shelf: a book!

It’s called Waters of Oblivion. It’s worth 75 gold, but I think I’ll keep it.

I said keep it. Not read it. Snore!

In the basement I find a huge ancient evil talking door.

Plus, in a crate, I find a burlap shirt and some shoes. Sweet!

Back outside, it’s a crummy day. Raining, pretty dark. I meet a drunk, a couple beggers, and a guy who threatens to have me arrested for some reason. Nice town, I guess? Not feelin’ the love. I also meet a hot elf chick who really likes dogs.

Well, heck, I’ve got a disgusting dog disease. Does that do anything for you, sweet thing?

Speaking of which, it’s already gotten a bit late, and that disgusting dog disease still needs curing. It’s draining my speed and agility, plus, I’m feeling the urge to lick my own butt.

In this game, you can get any disease cured for no cost — Oblivion is practically Canada in that respect. You just have to visit a chapel and get your pray on. There’s someone already standing at the altar, so I patiently wait in line. Nondrick is a gentleman.

While I’m standing there, though, waiting for the lady in front of me to finish whatever the hell she’s doing, I realize something. I don’t think Nondrick is really much of a praying man. He just doesn’t strike me as religious. I don’t think he opposes religion, but, let’s face it, the only reason I’d visit a church is to hit on a priestess or get my body cleansed of canine filth.

Besides, aren’t I somewhat of an alchemist now? I’m not really supporting the trade if every time I get the sniffles I go running to the Gods for a hankie. I’m a man of science. Dammit, I’m not going to pray for a cure. I’m going to cure myself.

I leave the church and head back to the hotel to bed down for the night. That’s it. I’ve wanted to find a quest, a personal quest, I mean, for Nondrick to undertake. Ever since I met that weirdo obsessed with tomatoes I’ve wanted for Nondrick to have some sort of personal goal for himself. I think this might be it.

Look, if Oblivion had achievements, surely this would be one. “As an alchemist, cure a disease using a potion you created from ingredients you gathered.”

Screw the church. I’ll cure what ails me.


  1. Wicked sweet!
    Nice plan with the “half the length, twice the posting” thing.


    sorry i had to say that

  4. woot i got 3rd
    & 4th

  5. wow, glad to see your back!

  6. Ahh, what I’ve been waiting for!

  7. fnuckin awsum

  8. Church NPCs sell spells like Heal Other in case you still were interested in finding it. The only other way to acquire such a spell is through the Spellcrafting alter in the Imperial University, which I’m guessing you’re not going to do the quests for. =P

  9. this could become an epic saga, “how the fish-faced man started modern medicine, and everyone got sick more often because they stopped praying to the gods and relied on him”.

  10. SlowShootinPete says:

    Magician, heal thyself.

  11. I laughed my ass off at both Nondrick in steel armor, and the passing mention of the evil gate in the basement. xD

  12. If you’re looking to hide the face, you’re gonna want a Dwarven helmet; they cover the face completely. =D

  13. I’ll cure what ails ME!

  14. If you’re updating less more aren’t you trying to do the whole episodic approach?

    in which case don’t pull a Valve and release it WAY LATER THAN IT SHOULD BE. (Episode 1,2…. probably 3). if you’re going to do that COMPENSATE for Newton’s sake!!! (What? he was an alchemist. . . . . . . shut up.)

    Like where its going though. Epic.

  15. Wow. Nondrick is actually growing awesome in his own right. Truely living in, and defying, the game of Oblivion. To find personal more common goals.

    You cure helljoint, Nondrick, and after that you can cure cancer.

  16. YAY for a new post!

  17. yay

  18. RC-1290'Dreadnought' says:

    Nice entry.

  19. Love it!

    Any chance of an RSS feed so I could bookmark this and check for updates?

  20. Yes, RSS would be great.

  21. Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting! I love the fact you’re going to post more often.

  22. quicksilver_502 says:

    Hurrah! good plan with the post less more often. hope nondrick cures himself

  23. ChillaGorilla says:

    1fort and this, the only blogs I read ^^
    great Chris! keep it commin
    ..btw there are archievments for oblivion on the 360 ;D but they are only like “you got so far in the thieves Guild, you got so far in the main quest, so Nondrick wouldnt get any :D
    ..and the land nondrick is living in is not called “oblivion” but Cyrodil..
    but i dont want to shoot your mouth off (do you say it like that? xD im Polish an living in Germany so sry for the bad english xD)

  24. I wish Oblivion achievements were as good as that, they’re pretty much “you became the next rank of a faction you joined, hooray achievement!”

  25. “I’m a man of science”

    Nondrick Freeman, anyone?

  26. A concerned citizen says:

    Nice to see you back!

  27. Adoring Fan says:

    Fucking Mets

  28. Hey, youre ripping off valve!

  29. Chilla gorilla: To shoot one’s mouth off means to speak without thinking, usually rudely.

  30. W00t! Lovin it.

  31. the part with the evil door had me in hysterics.

  32. usualroutine says:

    Oddly, that’s the exact same way I discovered the giant, talking door. Except I was actually a (bad) thief, not a man of science.

  33. <3
    I’m so happy you posted today.~ : D

  34. Mr. Munchlax says:

    Nondrick should join the Dark Brotherhood. XD I tried to cure a disease at a church once but the gods hated me because I had a higher infamy than fame. :(

  35. Your smaller posts feel too rushed and the sense of nondrick talking is gone too. You’re talking about him instead of him talking about it himself. It’s lost the magic.

  36. Great that you’re posting more often, but I agree with the above poster. It did feel a little rushed.

    Maybe now that you’ve posted another one and appeased your fans, you’ll be under less pressure to push another post out as fast as you can. Chillax, Chris.

    Oh, and I read Concerned a few days ago. Funniest thing i’ve read in a long time. Awesome stuff.

  37. Hooray, an update!
    Now you alone must close shut the jaws of disgusting dogs and their mortal servants.

  38. Are you going to do this regularly? You know, every tuesday, or twice a month, or something?

    And I agree with Bryce and This felt a little small. But I guess that’s okay, at least we’re getting a new one.

  39. Hi

  40. Complaining is so sexy and motivating, don’t you think?

  41. Alexander says:

    I believe a nice mix of Wormwood and Aloe Vera should get rid of your cancer, or at least make it seem like that.

    Oh, and I take Killa-Ewok’s comment a step further and recommend Concerned in Oblivion: The Half life and Death of Nondrick Frohman

  42. Those guys look strange.
    Probably relatives of Obama.

  43. good, you can always wander near the buildings and small village place to get incredientz

  44. John McCain,
    STFU TROLL!!!! and John McCain sux don’t troll as him it isn’t even funny.

  45. You fake reverend, I’m going to send you to Guantanamo to those Arab trolls, boy.
    When I am elected president you will find yourself in a dungeon for muslims.

  46. Killa-Ewok says:

    “Nondrick Cairk’tir who was Gordon Cairk’tir’s brother was one day an idiot, typing on Beaker. Then he got a quest message from someone…”

  47. Nondrick had root pulp. Don’t look for something to mix it with. Just eat it!

  48. Good to see you posting. I will miss the longer entries, but this is still very much fun.

    Ooh, I can’t believe you just skipped the ancient evil door like that! typical Nondrick!

  49. is that a .. six pack? on nondrick?

  50. lawrie,
    silly, everyone has six packs there……. they killed all the obese :(

  51. lmao is that the real John McCain?

  52. Alexandros says:

    Thanks for the great post.
    I am willing to wait for updates as long as they take, do not feel rushed by people, let Nondrick do what Nondrick does. cheers

  53. Maximillian Riese says:

    Nice. Alchemists have to look out for each other, man! Take that, you pansy Nine!

  54. Chrome Ada says:

    To all who said this was rushed: Keep in mind it was really only a half a day since he went to bed at 7am and probably went back to the hotel in the evening.

    I figure doing half-day posts would be alright.

    Keep it up, man, I check back regularly and love all of your posts.

  55. Yeah, that’s the way I prefer to cure what few diseases my character contracts. Being a vampire, he’s practically immune, but I’ve still managed to contract ‘witless pox’ from a rat and (oddly enough) poryphyric hemophelia (or however the hell you spell it) from another vampire.

    Also, don’t forget that being an alchemist, Nondrick is more than capable of making various poisons – something that would definitely provide him with an edge when he is unable to escape combat. In particular, poisons that damage fatigue are pretty cheap to produce, and after getting hit with a couple of then, most bandits will pass out long enough for Nondrick to make an escape.

  56. Pwnzerfaust says:

    Physician, heal thyself!

    Oh, wait, you were planning to? Really?

    Carry on, then.

  57. Hawk Of The Plain says:

    Oblivion does have achevements…………….. on the 360 and that I’m affraid isn’t one of them.

  58. Well, heck I’ve got a disgusting dog disease…

    I was lauging so hard.

    Great post, man

  59. Yes! More frequent posting in shorter bursts. Man the humor’s all there too! You found a huge ancient evil talking door… But better yet, you found a burlap shirt and some shoes. XD Cool beans!

  60. Wow, it’s been a pretty amazing journey.

    Through this, you remeber about NPCs, and that they aren’t just mindless drones, but instead…. mindless drones.

  61. MarshallDog says:


    Loving the blog so far… I’ve only been around for a few hours. Literally, I just decided to read this today. Sorry I’ve been ignoring it for so long. I’m caught up to this point, and am quite impressed. Nondrick is such a loveable character, and he might have inspired me to buy Oblivion and try it for myself.

    Anyway, regarding your post about Nondrick being a man of science and not religion… Nondrick lives in a world where there is evidence for prayer working to cure disease. Therefore prayer as cure should be science to people in his world. If you still want to cure through alchemy that’s fine, but don’t say one is science and the other not when they both seem to work.

    I hope my nitpick doesn’t get lost at the bottom of a long string of comments. Keep up the good work!


  62. Funny post! I nearly swallowed my gum a few times! Too bad that you don’t have the mods that allow you to grind bones & skulls, and gems, so that you could use them for alchemy ingrediants. There’s also one that give flower bouquets a price so that they can be sold, or used in alchemy too! Marshall Dog has a point too about living in a world where Magic isn’t a myth but an everyday reality and thus is not just an art but a science too, for which Alchemy is a part of. Oh, yes, the chapel people, not the church people, I don’t think I’ve seen “church” used in game, sell helpful spells not available anywhere else, including “Convelesance” (Sp.?) that allows you to heal others. Oh, and buying that house is considered a quest. Will Nondrick be engaging in the Master Trainer quest for his chosen profession as an Alchemist? The “Vampirism Cure” quest and Nirnroot picking quest would also seem like naturals for Nondrick.

  63. Oh, I forgot! So pardon this second post. In the world of Cyrodiil, you’d have to be very lazy indeed to become fat in any degree, seeing as how there are so many magical cures, and of course, all of that manual labor to burn off the calories. Also, walking, running, and being an equestrian burn off calories too. Plus, no junk food! Not to mention, you never know when you’ll have to defend yourself, so there’s that incentice alone to be healthy. Or to be able to run fast if you choose to flee over fighting. That even applies to wealthy people. My personal doctor would probably love for me to live in an evironment where one worked hard just to live day to day, so there is no exercise for it’s own sake to avoid being overweight, because working does it for you.

  64. Maybe he can download a get fat mod that includes a Mickey D’s in every town. That would be awesome. Get Nondrick some hash browns.

    As mentioned before it does feel like it’s rushed. I felt rushed just reading it, but it still is funny so keep up the good work.

  65. Samuel Brooks says:

    Instead of being cliche and, quite frankly, inaccurate, I’m going to avoid the saying “God helps those who help themselves, and instead go with the more correct expression of “God helps those who cannot help themselves.” Either way, really, you’re doing the right thing by seeking to solve a problem you know that you yourself can solve.

  66. Things are getting philosophical up in this bitch.

  67. odsniezanie dachów Krakówodsniezanie dachów Kraków.

  68. a

  69. b

  70. i

  71. dupersude says:

    I hope you like italics. FOREVER.

  72. dupersude says: