Nondrick's Non-adventure

Monster Mashed

So, here’s my plan for the next few days.

Anvil was pretty disappointing for adding to my meager fortune or even practicing my chosen profession of alchemy: the land around the city was mostly barren of ingredients and even the city shops were pretty empty of stuff to buy, mix, and resell. I feel like I need to make up for lost time and do some real hardcore gathering before I return home to Imperial City. I don’t want people just noticing my stained fingers and how they attest to my diligence in mixing potions and learning their secrets. I want people gawking at my stained fingers and how they attest to my diligence in mixing potions and learning their secrets.

The most fertile place I’ve ever seen in Cyrodiil was the area around Skingrad. There were pick-tastic plants everywhere, and I made some good hauls the last time I was in the area. So. I’ll head along the Green Road toward Imperial City, but when I reach the river I’ll head due west, making straight for Skingrad. There, I’ll set up Beaker in the stables, and spend a couple days picking the landscape bare. That way, when I get back to Imperial City I’ll have a bit more to show for my multi-city tour. I know it’s a little dangerous to leave the road and head straight through the unclaimed wild, but I feel a little more confident dealing with wolves and imps than I do bandits and highwaymen.

And so, we’re off in the early morning light. It’s not long until we encounter our first opposition of the day: a bandit bowman. Luckily, he’s already dead, lying face-down by the side of the road, folded up like a cheap hotel towel. I strip him of his weapons and fur armor — and why is he in fur armor, anyway? I’m level six, now, shouldn’t chain-mail be making an appearance as the standard light armor? I’m tired of my leather duds and the iron armor proved too heavy and noisy. I want to get all blinged out in chain links, but I’d prefer not to have to buy it.

Soon after, another bandit appears, this one alive, angry, and wielding a hammer. Did actual warriors ever really carry giant hammers? Seems like a really exhausting way to kill someone, by hitting them with a huge honkin’ hammer.

This bandit goes straight for Beaker, ignoring me to wallop on my poor horse. Seems like an iffy strategy: I’ve already climbed down to the road and I’m the one with weapons, spells, and armor. Beaker just stands there, taking the hits, while I dig into the bandit’s back until she’s dead. She, too, has fur armor. I strip her, pause to take a spiritual bong-hit off a nearby wayshrine, then continue up the road.

Speaking of the road, I suddenly notice that my Crowded Roads mod is once again taking itself a little too seriously. It’s supposed to add a little extra foot traffic, but this is ridiculous. It’s more like a parade.

While I don’t mind all the extra company, the only wildlife I’m seeing along the road is dead boars. I’m assuming the boars have been attacking the mod-added travelers, and the travelers have been punching the boars to death. I don’t really want to fight boars, because they kind of scare me, but having every boar in the game being killed for me by a crowd of randomly generated wanderers just feels a bit like a cheat. Well, I’ll be off the road and on my own soon enough, I guess.

Beaker and I soon reach two lodges, The Inn of Ill Omen (that sounds ominous!), and the Faregyl Inn (that sounds faregyl!), and I briefly pop into both for a visit. I meet a Khajiit (cat-person) named S’jirra who tells me she’s lost some of her jumbo potatoes, without which she cannot make her “famous” potato bread. Zounds. After Anvil, which tried to tempt my adventurous impulses with ghost stories and multiple disappearances, the game seems to be lowering its standards a bit here to see if I’ll bite.

Normally, I wouldn’t even pose any follow-up questions about anything that smelled remotely like a quest, but, jeez, we’re talking about some missing potatoes. It’s not like she’s asking me to close an Oblivion Gate or save Bruma from demons or anything. What the hell. I can at least ask her about them. She tells me she put her potatoes outside and someone ran off into the woods with them. Well, I’m not going to go actively search for the crook, but if I spot anyone with potato-sized lumps under their coat, maybe I’ll stop them and ask a few questions.

After buying all the food in both inns, churning it into potions, and selling it back at a mark-up, I head West, and almost immediately spot a large, burly, mostly naked figure running through the trees. Ogre. It’s an Ogre!

He spots us and approaches, and we’re a little too close to do anything but fight. This is kinda scary: I’ve never fought anything remotely this big or dangerous before. Luckily, I’ve got a couple things going in my favor. First, I’ve already poisoned my blade. Second, the Ogre, like everyone else lately, seems to hate my horse a lot more than they hate me. Is it my high personality score making enemies decide, “You know, he seems like a decent fellow. I’d like him to die last.” Or, is it just that a paint horse is more obvious a threat than a fish-faced guy who can barely lift his own sword?

The Orge wades in, punching Beaker repeatedly. I ready my frost spell, then plunge in and touch the Ogre with a bunch of magical coldness. Then I hit him with my sword, both hurting and poisoning him. Already, I can see his health diminish to almost nothing.

He’s still swinging, though, and now he’s swinging at me.

And then, I am saved! Beaker, driven by his extreme love of me (or more likely he’s just tired of being a punching bag for every violent creature we meet), rears up and starts kicking the Ogre. The Ogre falls back into a bush, and Beaker charges him, sort of nudging him with his head. I don’t know if it was my poison or Beaker’s semi-ferocious charging that kills him, but the Ogre drops dead.

Attaboy, Beaks! My hero.

I lay some healing magic on Beaker’s wounded butt, then retrieve the Ogre’s teeth, and also find the cat lady’s missing jumbo potatoes in his possession. Well, since I’ve got them, I might as well bring them back to her. I am not really happy with having completed a quest, but this didn’t feel so much like a quest as a coincidence: she mentioned her potatoes were missing, and my horse and I happened to poison and head-butt an Orge to death, and the Ogre happened to be the guy who stole the potatoes.

Cat lady is happy to have her potatoes back, and even offers to kiss me, but I’m not really into cat people. I just like her as a friend. Cat woman gives me some bread she made out of potatoes. Funny. When I mix potatoes and bread I just get wet potato mush. She’s got mad skills.

Comments

  1. This is most glorious.

  2. Lithros says:

    I JUST managed to bring myself to uninstall Oblivion, and here we go again.

  3. Tis a glorious day! Beaker is the… man? That lack of a joke prompted me to look this up:

    “So you are wondering what a male horse is called? Male horses are called different words, depending on their age and other factors. A male horse, when it is born, is called a colt. Most colts are gelded (the horse term for neutering) between the ages of 6 months and 18 months. A male colt that is ungelded is called a “stud colt”. After the age of two years male horses are correctly referred to as geldings (“neutered”) or stallions (un”neutered”). A stallion can also be referred to as a “stud”.”

    I’m not sure if Beaker is neutered or not – Oblivion has never been very good with genitalia. Plus I’m terrified to search for a mod to make anatomically correct horses.

  4. OMG, an update! :D

  5. Almost forget to mention, awesome update!

  6. I fial at italics :(.

  7. Brilliant, I actually forgot that horses can fight in this game. I agree with you, that while you set out to not do quests in Oblivion, that potatoe quest can’t count, you barely did anything.

  8. Great post, as always! Now if only we could get some italics up in here…

  9. Are the italics fixed?

  10. Awesome update! But I think you switched Bravil with Anvil in there.

  11. Michael says:

    Yep, he confused Bravil with Anvil.

    Anyway, great to see another update. I was almost thinking it was time for Hiatus, again.

  12. Wasn’t that potato quest unmarked anyway? Or is time playing tricks on me again?

  13. Hwughrgle

  14. I am Ian, bringer of italics.

  15. Years later. I still check this blog.

  16. I laughed hard with the last line.

  17. Oh Ian, dupersude already claimed that spot for now.

  18. Just yesterday I was in Skyrim, and as I took a stroll outside I noticed all the plantlife and thought “This would be a great place for Nondrick!”.

    I have spent waaaaay too much time reading these.

  19. Hooray! Updates that are good and on time! It’s like a dream come true. Also, italics are back! Again!

  20. Dr.Angry says:

    Been folowing this and any other blog you’ve had since the Frohman day. Keep it up long wait but worth it.

  21. it would be cool if he ended living in oblivion with nondrick heading north towards skyrim

  22. Didn’t start reading until July 13, (lucky me for missing all those years of non-updates) but omfg, I love you for this.

    I actually picked up Oblivion again, and started a new character; I’m even an alchemist, in spirit of Nondrick. I’m trying to do everything legit; I don’t steal (much), I (try) to walk everywhere, and I generally gather most of my ingredients for potions.. (although sometimes I DO buy them out of sheer laziness).

    I really love your writing, and I hope you keep it up. I’ve already added this blog to my RSS feed, so I’m just gonna sit here waitin’.

  23. Actually, Arreh, if you notice, I broke the italics one post before dupersude did.

  24. I refuse to notice. You can’t make me. You’re not my real dad.

  25. So Arreh the one who broke the italics, and Dupersude the adoptive father of Ian? Or am I getting this wrong…

  26. Excellent update. Positively smashing, old chap.

  27. No, no, no, he’s trying to say the Arreh broke the italics and I’m the adoptive father of Arreh.

    I still broke the italics first…

    Also I totally tried to use italics for emphasis on the work “I’m.”

  28. Hi guys

  29. Michael says:

    Hi, BBoP.

  30. Whenever someone says BBop, I can’t but help to think of this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cnQCk0u49w

  31. This is the legacy I created for her when I named her BBop.

    I see this and I name it good.

  32. Dude, I love Scatman John!

  33. Michael says:

    He might not be into cat people but i’m sure cat people are into fish faced people. I hope he finds fish faced love<3

  34. Amazing and inspirational stuff.

  35. Michael says:

    Hey, I’m the only one allowed to post under my name!

  36. I totally thought that was you! Geez… Talk about identity theft!

  37. Thanks for my awesome name, Arreh. Well done :)

  38. Skinymikeofdoom says:

    Every second person I meet is named Michael. Sorry will change to a more original name.

  39. Wait a second now… Something’s not right. Which one is the real Michael?! *holds a gun, switching between the two Mikes* One of you must be a robot! Or a clone! Or something…

  40. Ian! Why can’t we simply coexist? I’m certain that there is a way to resolve this without viol- Wait a minute! One of the Mikes is “skiny”! THIS CANNOT BE! KILL THAT ONE! KILL IT NOW!

  41. I’m considering making a blog about minecraft, a blog as opposed to a video let’s play, mainly due to microphone problems. What do you guys think?

  42. I am supportive of this plan.

  43. This sounds like something I would be intriguiged by. Proceed.

  44. Yeah, sounds fun! I’d read it.

  45. Michael says:

    I am the real Michael, check my picture.

    It’s the cool, blue one.

    Also, thanks for the name change.

  46. Phew! What a relief! Well, now that that’s settled, what’s up, everyone?

  47. Tomorrow I shall be coming back after a week in london, how about you Ian?

  48. Moving into a new apartment and waiting for my girlfriend to get back from an internship in South Africa. The apartment’s great, except for the broken refrigerator and the fact that the landlady hasn’t had it cleaned yet even though she promised she would.

  49. I’m moving too. I’m ready to be settled!

  50. I have made some Let’s Play vids in the waiting process for the next part…www.youtube.com/GameplayJenny

  51. deathonumbrellas says:

    it would be cool if living in oblivion ended with nondrick heading north towards skyrim

  52. That’s a fantastic idea! Chris should definitely consider that.

  53. deathonumbrellas says:

    thats not sarcasm, right? i’ve been following since 2008
    and just mustered the gall to post, hoping that the almighty livingston will notice and take it into consideration, seeing as though i don’t want to see nondrick go and don’t care how many rules chris has to break to keep him alive i want to be able to read living in oblivion to my grandkids and not end the story randomly with a death that wouldnt fit the most degenerate lifeform on earth
    i want to see living in skyrim
    i want to see nondrick ride off into the sunset or whatever the non adventurous equivilent is
    chris livingston knew what he was going into when he started this blog
    he knew there were chances of a cult following
    and there is
    between the hiatus crew, the nonposters and the other lessknown but equally important groups and individuals
    chris has an promise to keep
    this blog is that promise
    i would understand if LiO had never tooken off
    but by god it has
    and i expect chris to continue to continue this blog
    if he ends this blog so be it
    but i expect an ending so remarkable, so glorious, so unforgettable (by the standards of nondricks life, of course)
    to be remembered and retold to future generations
    i want every reader of this blog to walk away satisfied
    FREEDOM!!!

  54. That was beautiful, deathonumbrellas.

  55. Jenny, I have only watched one minute and forty five seconds, and I am already laughing like never before.

    I feel this is going to be great.

    • Thank you, I am trying my best LOL. Got a few more up now, with better video quality. Can’t vouch for the commentary though ;-)

  56. No, no sarcasm! I promise! I really love the continuity and symbolism of moving on to Skyrim at the end! Also, your other post was indeed quite beautiful!

  57. deathonumbrellas says:

    thank you Ian and Michael
    my rallying speech was more a product of my occasional ranting than an intended statement
    but regardless i am glad you feel that way
    i

  58. deathonumbrellas says:

    …feel you should ignore the “i” i put at the end of my last post
    i’m not trying to continue, i’m just…this post is intended to disregard any implication that my previous post would be continued yet i began this post in a way that would affirm the implication
    i’m not changing my post i’m leaving it so everyone can see my very first logical contradiction. i feel so happy!!!!

  59. The Truth says:

    A mite slow with the update, buddy. Don’t make me go back to your other website. That other site’s pants anyway. Finish this story, then move on.

  60. Calm down dear, it’s only nearing a month since the update, I mean, I still remember the year long wait for an update, but since he intends to get somewhere or finish this before skyrim, then we know he’ll update soon, that is, unless he’s in the basement again…

  61. Lol @ Jenny

  62. Aaaah… My last night of freedom before, once again, school and responsibility claim my social life and free time. And what do I spend it doing? Sitting alone on the floor of a living room stacked to the ceiling with boxes and unplaced furniture posting on a videogame blog.

    Life is good!

  63. I’m in Crete.

  64. Cool! How come? Vacation? Study abroad? Et cetera?

  65. This was really amazing. I love this blog, for me it was really one of unique blog Ive ever seen. It was exceedingly glorious. Cool post and nice photos. I love it. Big thanks.

    Charles A

  66. Waiting…………………….

  67. I’m in Bruges.

  68. I… I think I love you.

  69. Thank you, but I am already taken.

  70. Another year, here I come!

  71. deathonumbrellas says:

    oh well, time hibernate for another year!
    wait! i can’t find my blanky! guess ill wait 1 more month THEN THATS IT

  72. The Truth says:

    Seriously? Update. Come on! Where’s the work ethic. At least finish the f’n story. Cut it out with the cliffhangers! If you’ve lost interest, kill him and end the story.

  73. I demand more!

  74. I am simultaneously becoming excited for Skyrim and apprehensive that Nondrick will never give us the closure we need to move on.

    Also, where my homies at?

  75. Right here, BBoP.

    Hiding in the shadows.

  76. Hey Michael. What’s new with you?

  77. I’m in London.

  78. Started school the other day, and I got a 13 inch MacBook Pro.

    It’s nicer than I thought.

  79. HI ARREH! :)

    You know Michael, my brother has one of those and he said the same thing. I might hafta get me one. So whatcha studying?

  80. I’ve put a load more videos up. Nondrick, you have made me do this with your non-appearing.

    http://www.youtube.com/gameplayjenny

  81. BBoP, I am taking scientific studies with focus on bio-technology.

    We haven’t started with the good stuff, yet, though.

    The best part with the MacBook is the scrolling – two fingers up or down. I can’t stop doing it.

  82. I do like the scrolling stuff, but lately a lot of windows notebooks are doing the same thing. Not quite as smooth, but still OK.

  83. Biotechnology! That’s awesome. Someone needs to make CatDog.

  84. This is what you mentioned in Day 12:
    “While Im keeping Nondrick away from the games formal quests, I think Id like him to have a personal quest, something outside the boundaries of him just making a living and trying to find a home. Sure, hed like to get freaky with one of these female NPCs but this isnt going to happen due to the limits of the game, just as Undena will never find her perfect tomato because all of the tomatoes in the game are the same.”

    Maybe that is what you need for a conclusion, a personal quest for Nondrick to fulfill. Can be anything, earn 100,000 gold, own all the purchasable horses in Cyrodiil, harvest 300 nirnroots without googling their locations, harvest 50 pearls from clams (might not be achievable though), achieve 100 mastery in Alchemy, find and visit the 3 wayshrines of Zenithar or completing the pilgramage of the 9 Divines without googling their locations (although it has been mentioned that Nondrick is not religious but Zenithar is the trader god so he might take exception).

  85. Huh. That link lead to a personal blog. How about tha- OH I see what you did there.

    Some nice stuff, very good exploration of the motif, enough dynamic variation and melodic movement while not overextending (A common mistake to make). You do good work, be sure to link any more improv.

  86. MIDGIE :-D

    …I like ponies too.

  87. Nondrick is dead.

  88. Midgie – it played for you? Not long after posting that link here I found out that it was giving everybody an error message, including myself. That’s odd :S
    Regardless, thank you for the compliments/analysis. I shall do just that! :D

  89. Google reader never told me these comments existed, Google lies.

  90. So I guess he’s not updating? Seeing as it’s only 79 days left til Skyrim…

  91. dupersude says:

    The comments are a lie!

  92. deathonumbrellas says:

    ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
    I’VE HAD IT THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING DELAYS
    ON THIS MONDAY-TO-FRIDAY BLOG!
    EVERYBODY STRAP IN!
    WERE GONNA OPEN FREAKY WINDOWS!

  93. Lmfao @ umbrellas!

  94. Dupersude: I played the earlier one, with the ending cut off. Still good though.

    BBoP: BLACKBIRDIE! Someone got onto my Facebook. Not that I don’t like ponies, obviously. Who doesn’t?

  95. I know, Midgie. Someone’s always hacking your shitses. xD

  96. dupersude says:

    It’s been reuploaded again with the full thing fully working, if you want to go and listen to it.
    I’m no longer proud of it however. Each time I listen to it now it sounds a little worse…
    There’s only one way to rectify that situation. I must get BETTER. INFINITELY BETTER. FOREVER.

  97. Absolutely. Happens all the time. This is why I do a theory major instead of composition or performance. Understand how it works, don’t need to show people stuff. They judge. They always judge. The eyes, everywhere. THE EYES!

    Plus matching modes to chords is pretty relaxing. Eb Mixolydian b9 b13 is my newest addition to the repertoire!

  98. Just thought I’d leave this here…

    http://armchairtravelogue.blogspot.com/2009/11/goat-towers-around-world.html

    Praise be the Goat!

  99. Spooky goings-on in Oblivion…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQac29zUrwg

  100. dupersude says:

    The thing with that, midgie, is that I’d LIKE to be able to compose a piece that I enjoy and can spread around. I like the idea of it. And I’d like to be able to make a living playing the piano one day, whether it be through performances or as a music teacher.
    We haven’t learnt anything about modes yet, so basically what you just said escapes me.
    When improvising I don’t put much thought into it. For me it’s like “This is the key I’m playing in, this is the progression, slap everything else in accordance with what I’m feeling/what sounds good to me at the time”. And in that moment, it can sound absolutely brilliant to me. But maybe that’s the way it should stay, “in that moment”. Maybe I shouldn’t be recording such improvisations. I don’t know.

    Goat towers. So. Much. Win. SO MUCH WIN.
    That reminds me, a couple years ago when the annual Show came to my city (the show, for those who don’t know, is like the Australian version of a travelling fair. Rides and sideshow games and stalls and hot food and stuff) and i had only been posting on here for about a month, I went with the girl i was dating at the time.
    There was an animal section there, and they had goats. FUCKING GOATS.
    I took a photo and meant to upload it, but never got around to it.

  101. Damn, dupsersude. You have to upload that picture right now (inb4 you deleted it).

    Also, you force me to tell one of my own anecdotes – I was on the Swedish island land, which is a pretty calm and ”peasant-y” place…

    So, there was this place where there were piles of rocks, which are actually graves of the old inhabitants of the island (possibly Vikings). However, there’s a twist – there were Goats roaming about the entire place!

    That day was a good day.

  102. dupersudeersude says:

    I may have baleeted it, I don’t recall. But IF I did, there is still a good chance it’s floating around somewhere (on my old iPod or my hard drive which i never use because it’s mostly broken). I’m extremely disorganised with my data these days.
    I’ll have a hunt for it tonight and upload it if I can.
    That day sounds like a great day. The greatest of days, even. To bask in His Goatly presence… You are truly blessed, Brother Michael.

  103. Michael, please tell me you have pics.

    Also, HOLY CRAP, YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4drucg1A6Xk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

  104. dupersude says:

    I just seen you post that on facebook.
    FUCK IT WAS AMAZING.

  105. I want to be this woman.

  106. deathonumbrellas says:

    I want to be WITH this woman
    also why is everything in italics?
    i remember something about it in The Alchemists Code “part 2″
    but am too lazy to scroll down all that dialogue :)

  107. deathonumbrellas says:

    `1234567890-=/*-+
    789456123.0

  108. deathonumbrellas says:

    10100101010010101010001010101010100101010

    i got great deal on laptop wooden oak chair buy now price is low
    lololololol
    1-800-588-2300

  109. deathonumbrellas says:

    how is my spambot impersanation? good? bad? what?

  110. dupersude says:

    I wouldn’t want to be that woman. She’s trapped eternally…
    Also, I like having a penis.

    Death, it’s in Italics because we found out how to make it in italics, and we made it as we pleased.
    We are the gods of this place.

  111. She’s so badass though!

    Hey umbrellas, quit spamming up the page. It has to last us a while xD

  112. Umbrellas, it’s pretty what.

  113. deathonumbrellas says:

    blackbirdofpeace, i sincerily apologize
    michael, i figured as much
    dupersude, some gods you are! your power extends only as far as the almighty livingston extends this blog!
    which at the rate it’s going my be a thousand years…

    …regardless, i will figure out how to change stuff on here!
    THEN I WILL BE GOD
    I WILL BE KING

    better open your umbrellas
    ’cause a storm is coming………

  114. alienfighter11 says:

    is there a limit to the # of comments per blog entry or is t infinite???

  115. Comments for all time! Comments in all dimensions! Comments by our children and our grandchildren etc. until all sentient life ceases!

    Or at least until 11 November.

  116. BBoP, how does that stop us from using this as *our* comments section?

    Unless he does the unthinkable – delete this blog!

  117. You’re right, Michael, nothing will ever stand in our way (barring the unthinkable). But I was kind of hoping we’d have a NEW blog on which to comment.

  118. Blentung kwokker.

  119. Well, we’d still have comments for all time. dimensions and comments by our children and our grandchildren etc. until all sentient life ceases.

  120. Dude… Infinite hiatus crew? That would be fantastic!

    I’m sorry, I said “would.” I meant “WILL!”

  121. I can see us all, 60 years on, by the virtual fire smoking virtual pipes, telling our grandchildren on the early days of the hiatus crew. It will be awesome.

  122. That DOES sound pretty damn awesome, G.

  123. I like tokitos!

  124. I have no idea what a tokito is! I am happy you are happy though!

  125. Me either! :D

  126. dupersudeersude says:

    Midgey, you wanted me to post more if I ever recorded again, so here you go: http://colourchromatic.tumblr.com/post/9823358113/today-i-got-around-to-doing-a-mix-down-of-one-of
    It’s very similar to the original i posted a couple weeks back, follows the same progression and has the same recurring theme, but it’s on much better quality equipment and is properly mixed. The mistakes aren’t quite as glaringly obvious in this one, so I guess I’m a little happier with it.
    My favourite part is toward the end.

  127. Looks like we’ll have to wait another year for an update. You suck.

  128. NO YOU SUCK

  129. Also, dupersude, I like it. I am listening to it now.

  130. NO, THE AUTHOR SUCKS! HE’S THE ONE MAKING US WAIT FOR A YEAR OR MORE FOR UPDATES. SCREW HIM. IN FACT, SCREW YOU FOR STICKING UP FOR THE BASTARD.

  131. So anyway…what race are you guys gonna be in Skyrim? Arreh?

  132. Why thank-you, Arreh! There’s another one up now as well. I’m on my mobile right now though so I’ll post the URL later.

    I think I’ll be a Breton.
    Or a Nord to blend in a little better.

  133. OR A HIGH ELF. Almost forgot about them.

  134. I always play Dunmer.

    Back off, n’wahs!

  135. It depends on the class I want to play. When I first started Oblivion I rolled a Breton because I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing and their stat bonuses seemed good at the time.
    When I really sat down and role played I rolled a High Elf Mage. Just cause.

  136. Lol Michael! I’m always a Bosmer. Usually named Katariah, but also sometimes Barenziah (even though that’s a Dunmer name). I like to specialize in stealth and archery, with a minor in destruction, restoration, and speechcraft.

  137. Bitch I’m a sneaky-jumpy fucker. That is literally my build. I go Khajiit, do sneaky and jumpy and bow and arrows and stuff, yo.

    My original (and best) character was Asaldon Bole, a Khajiit ex-accountant who got done for fraud.

  138. I find neither of my characters were really “best” when they both had 100% chameleon lol

  139. Update please.

  140. Doctor Peanut says:

    You know, it’s funny; I ended up completely forgetting about this blog for god knows how long, and today when I came back, panicking and thinking of all the stuff I missed, I discovered that I didn’t miss anything at all. Awkward.

  141. “oh shit, it’s been like two or three months! He’s probably made at LEAST 3 or 4 updates by now!
    … Oh wait this is Chris Livingston we’re talking about.”

  142. Chris Livingston's Conscience says:

    Update this story, you jerk.

  143. QUIET. I don’t want to have to get the duct tape out again…

  144. Not sure if that was the abstract description I was looking for. Whatever.

  145. you know what?
    f*** being an internet villian
    i thought i could join the comments section
    go insane
    and f*** stuff up for you people
    but nooooo
    this motherf***ing pc-change italics-hyperlink-thingy
    ITS SO DAMN COMPLICATED
    i hate computers
    i hate technology
    and i hate you
    you dont even take notice of that comment!!!
    alienfighter11, yah him he gets a reply
    but not me! even with the gradually degrading sanity of the comment
    dupersude’s trigger
    and that bad “storm is coming” line
    nothing…..jack f***ing s***
    it was easy in real life
    kicking peoples dog, rocks in windows, disturbing the peace
    the police never caught me!
    i was public enemy #1
    i figured i could do the same here without the potential of reprucussions….

    …….i am failure at internet trolling
    it wouldve worked nicely too
    eventually chris would update
    and you would be saved
    oh well,
    i’ll still check this blog, and the comments every so often
    i have in truth been reading from january 2009
    ive used pcs but only basic stuff
    the least you could do, is tell me that im going to jail or an asylum
    it wouldnt make me less of failure
    but it would make me feel complete
    we’ll meet again hiatus crew,
    in the place where there is no darkness….

  146. Oh umbrellas. You are not trolling if you “sincerily apologize” for things. As for the end, it was pretty transparent. Not enough spelling and grammatical errors, too quick to use all caps, and so on.

    You may have failed at trolling but you made me laugh heartily xD

    Stick around. You amuse me.

  147. I’d have replied to you but too many had posted between my next post and yours, so I didn’t. Gotta keep the comments flowing and all that jazz.
    Now though, you’re reminding me of someone else who was recently here and decided to leave.
    And… Wait. I DID reply to you. What the fuck are you whinging about?

  148. Two things:

    1) Who the fuck is the Umbrella guy?

    2) Was I supposed to read his comment, handily arranged into lyrical format, as an angry rap? Because I did. Still no idea who he is, though.

  149. Just some guy who came here, Arreh.

    They come, and they go.

  150. Umbrella was a troll?

  151. Decidedly not. Just a hilarious lunatic. Which I think makes him fit right in.

  152. i feel i can explain my feelings better in words than in words
    i feel this video adds perspective

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL8qWlRkwCc

    by the way, i said liar not n*****

  153. dupersude has a good point, what the hell happened to killthenrun1
    you hazed him/her in the alchemists code part 2
    and then him/her got annoying but let me check before i finish typing…..

    …..oh crap i act just like killthenrun1, im not though….am i?
    for some reason i keep hearing numbers, its annoying….

    …..killtherun1′s last post was on june 19th, bravillige people
    but i could have sworn i, OH GOD!
    WHY DO I KEEP HEARING THESE FUCKING NUMBERS!?

  154. Pardon the non sequitur, but I would like to interject some friendly yet vehement advice.

    DON’T GET MARRIED.

    EVER.

    That is all.

  155. woah
    the last time I used the word “interject”
    my dad beat me and locked me in a box with dead fish for 5 days
    why shouldn’t i get married?
    i’m good at killing bugs
    i can fly
    AND I KEEP HEARING THESE NUMBERS
    regardless
    what’s a non sequitur?

  156. A non sequitur is some random shit that is apropos of nothing that is occurring.

    You seem to possess some skills that would serve you well in the marital sphere, such as flying off the handle and babbling nonsensically. However, I care too much for the happiness of those who still have a realistic shot at such to recommend matrimony to anyone except those who can answer yes to ALL of the following:

    Are you at a point in your life where you can realistically support yourself and someone else, both emotionally and financially?

    Are you able to admit your faults?

    Do you know how to compromise?

    Do you find yourself gazing at your Special Someone and envisioning your shared future?

    This is the most important one: do you think to yourself as you stare deep into her eyes that you are ready to embark upon a journey that will culminate in mutual hatred?

    If so, then bless your heart. You’re ready to marry.

  157. its 2am, how are you posting at 6am? or me at 5am?
    bbop,

    start/honesty

    i have 2,3 and 1 emotionally at 100%

    end/honesty

    you can’t spell compromise without surrender
    i don’t admit to anything but my own superiority
    and I CANT GET THESE FUCKING NUMBERS OUT OF MY HEAD!
    OH GOD! MAKE IT STOP!

  158. Those times are GMT, or Greenwich Mean Time. It’s a way of transcending time zones. Clearly you and I are in the same time zone, which is GMT minus 5. That makes it quarter of two.

    There’s some numbers for you.

  159. “Thanks again for sticking around (if anyone has indeed stuck around), and I hope to continue the non-adventure shortly. Meanwhile, my wife and I are doing some pop-culture blogging over at my new(ish) site,” -still living

    “if anyone has indeed stuck around”

    makes you think, huh

  160. Ouch, Blackbird. I seen something about that on facebook just now. Anything you wanna vent about? I’m only a message away.

  161. I found the hiatus crew website.
    Turns out 80% of its members never post comments anymore,
    which invalidates a portion of my villainous drive, threats and everything really!
    I clearly overestimated their significance as seen in the above comment.

    This “Hiatus Crew” is nothing more than a few starving sailors on broken boards in the middle of the ocean.
    Nondrick updates or no Nondrick updates.

    The Hiatus “Crew” will die.

    Just as all the others did.

  162. Give it up, umbrellas. You are not a troll, you are a cute lil parasol. And I don’t think I need to tell you that there is no death, only transformation. But I will anyway since I just did. Your name should be transformationonumbrellas.

    Dupersude, I just messaged you.

  163. i think he is a very good troll
    bbop you should be nicer

  164. yeah bbop dont be a jerk
    deathonumbrellas is the best troll ever

  165. deathonumbrellas is superior to me in every way
    we should make him the uncontested king of the wasteland
    i want to have his babies
    roar

  166. i am stupid

  167. i second that motion

  168. and i third

  169. i’m sorry i said you were a bad troll death,
    deathonumbrellas is the best most amazing name on the internet
    can you forgive me?

    BTW i will fight superdude for your babies

    you should also be king of the wasteland

  170. I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO PREVENTS ME FROM HAVING HIS BABIES

  171. now,now my servents dont fight
    you can all have my babies!

  172. I will not be baited. We will agree to disagree.

    I am the anti-troll lawlz

  173. IMPOSTER !!!

  174. agree to disagree?
    logical paradoxs are not allowed in my kingdom!
    BBoP you should know better

  175. im sorry you highness
    i have a split personality
    the real BBoP, me thinks you are the best and has statues over you crushing the skulls of various bugs
    unfortunately my other half is a rebel who seeks to overthrow you

  176. Sugar, this is not your kingdom. Go crazy all over it if you must, but this comment section will endure long after you’ve lost interest.

  177. with all the fighting i thought id never have a chance to have deathonumbrellas babies
    thank ye my leige

  178. ONLY I CAN HAVE HIS BABIES

    MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
    roar

  179. Good night, umbrellas. You are insane.

  180. dupersude, stop or i ban you from my kingdom

  181. sorry undisputed master

  182. its okay dupersude, i understand
    I DID IT
    I
    AM
    TROLLING
    ha
    and also a little hyper
    ha…ha
    im gonna make another awesome video
    that announces me as king of the wasteland, wordpress and all other things………

  183. Sorry, this video cannot be played.

  184. Sure was a lot of activity going on here, today.

  185. Most of it being some crazy mother fucker trying to impersonate all of us.
    Which, by the way, is not appreciated.
    You will be severely punished.

  186. Activity!
    It was acctually rather amusing…

  187. Well. Not really. I don’t want killtherun1 back, and yet here he is.

    Is B-bop a member of the Hiatus Crew? I forget sometimes. She definitely should be.

    I want to message dupersude.

    Yay last.fm.

  188. Yeah BBop is one of us, she’s a legend.

  189. :) I belong :)

  190. Did she sit through the time in Putzy’s basement? Did she write the 50 word letter as to why she should gain membership?

    Either way, I think she’s one of us.

  191. I forgot to tell you guys about my amazing experience at the Baltimore Zoo. We went to the petting zoo area, and there I met a goat. He was black as the depths of a wormhole with eyed like Hypno Toad. He was standing on a stump and ruminating, and I attempted to start a conversation. “Mmmmaahh,” I said to him. He ignored me. I drew closer. Since he was standing on a stump, his weird eyes were level with mine. I looked directly into his horizontal pupils and spike again. Again he ignored me.

  192. I stood there marvelling at his focus for quite a while and never saw him move, aside from the constant chewing. He was on an entirely different plane of existence. If I find my pictures, I’ll show you.

  193. im not killthenrun1, that post was a CoD: Black Ops referance

    i think its funny how i am crazy and beligerant just like her

  194. BBop you forgot to capitilize goat

  195. im sorry for telling you that you will be severely punished
    i, sometimes have outbursts
    please dont ban me!

  196. oh i dont play cod
    nice to know you arent killthenrun1

  197. dupersude i wont ban you this time, but 1 more outburst from you and that it

  198. thank you master

  199. G, thank you for your support in reward for this i will make you commander of my armies

    you should change your name to

    General G

    cause thats what you are
    all 5 stars

  200. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEMORE NONDRICK.

  201. Arreh, you could have that ability if you’d have accepted me on Facebook.
    But you didn’t.
    Or you did and then deleted me.
    Ee-ther or Eye-ther.

    BBoP, I once had an experience as divine as yours, several years ago.
    I took photos of the joyous event but never got around to posting them…

  202. Do it. I must see them. I can’t find my sd card so I need someone’s goat pics for vicarious Goatliness.

  203. Dupersude, I don’t recall ever rejecting your facebook add. Much like BBop’s facebook add, I simply let it sit there. Having said that, I can’t seem to find your add in my collection. Oh well.

    I will talk to you privately through proxy, dupersude.

    BBop, send a message to dupersude (without reading it) saying that I think he’s really cool. Don’t let anyone else see.

  204. Wilco, Arreh.

    Psst, dupersude. I have to tell you something. Arreh says he thinks you’re pretty cool. But not quite cool enough to be Fb friends with. Don’t worry, I’m not cool enough either.

    Don’t tell anyone what I’ve just said.

  205. Oh okay. Well, in that case, we can be not-quite-cool-enough together. Rum, nachos, music, and xbox at your place? And EXTRA entertainment in the form of a babbling baby!
    But don’t tell anyone. We should keep these plans under wraps, lest we have a massive mob of party crashers on our hands.

  206. avoiding adventure is easy, compared to avoiding dragons
    notice how the dragon that attacks him before he enters the cave
    attacks him again after he leaves through a different entrance

  207. Dupersude, I am as always eagerly on board with this plan. What say you bring your dogs and we can have those dog-on-fire fights, as previously discussed.

    This is shaping up to be the party of a lifetime!

  208. I totally forgot about the dog-on-fire fights! Unfortunately though, mother has taken them to be shaved. So there won’t be as much to catch on fire any more…
    But isn’t that why we invented gasoline?

  209. Guys guys guys I’m 18 tomorrow party tonight with lots of people and sex and such and I will be a MAN sort of.

  210. Dammit Arreh, your older then me by 3 and a half weeks….

  211. i may be the oldest here, which is just ANOTHER reason why i am the king of the wasteland
    btw i like posting videos so here you go my subjects

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL4mywCOJXA

  212. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARREH!!

    PAAAAAAAAAARTY!

  213. Doctor Peanut says:

    DID SOMEONE SAY PARTY?! BECAUSE I THINK SOMEONE SAID PARTY!

    WOOO! LET’S GO BREAK SHIT!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARREH!

  214. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARREH!
    PARTY HARD!
    BIRTHDAY SEX! in putzy’s basement….

  215. ArgonianLover says:

    CONTINUE THE FREAKIN’ STORY CHRIS!!!!!I want to read more about Nondrick’s Non-Adventure!

  216. Happy birthday, kiddo! I remember when I turned eighteen…
    Ahhh the good ol’ days.

  217. It all hurts and I think I’m dying and there’s a girl in my bed AND EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

  218. That sounds like the exact opposite of my eighteenth. Why are you posting on here? Go get her naked (if she’s not already) and enjoy the meal ;D

  219. I’m downstairs because I have noodles to eat. She’s naked, but currently sleeping. Also I love her.

  220. Well the last bit explains everything.
    I remember when I was in love… Ahhh kids these days.

  221. I hope my next birthday is half that awesome.

  222. Jeez… It sounds like I missed quite the event!

  223. Blackbird, you hope your next birthday ends with a neked girl in your bed?

    Also, who is this “Erez” character that has liked the hiatus crew on facebook? REVEAL YOURSELF.

  224. Dupersude, I’m having a party (that you promised to attend if you recall) at which there will be alcohol, costumes, booze, a bonfire, disguises, rampant flirtation, and liquor.

    ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN

  225. Rampant flirtation and three different words for for the same intoxicating depressant to imply there will be LARGE volumes of it? In the same party?
    I’m SO fucking there it’s not even funny.
    When is it?

  226. Also, I hope by “costumes” you mean “skimpy outfits”.
    Just to fit in with the rampant flirtation and obscene amounts of alcohol.

  227. Dude, it’s HALLOWEEN. It’s the one night of the year when ladies have a license to wear the skimpy, trampy, tight, and/or revealing outfits and not feel like it reflects on their character. It’s a freebie.

  228. Oh right, I forgot you guys celebrate that like a REAL holiday.
    I need to move to America. If only for the end of October.
    All these tight overly revealing costumes with booze and flirting can ONLY go good places.

  229. Damn yeah it’s a real holiday. Last year I was pregnant so this year I have to go extra crazy.

    American Halloween is FANTASTIC.

    And it’s my birthday. :D

  230. For real, what date is this party? October 31st?

  231. The 31st is a Monday this year. So I’ll probably do it the Saturday before.

  232. H’okay, well, seeing as I’m probably not just going to have two and a half thousand dollars by the end of next month, I don’t think i can make it.
    Damn.

  233. Perhaps next year then. In any case, I will be getting silly and probably posting pics, so feel free to laugh at me.

  234. Or laugh with you, as the case may be.
    Definitely. My mind is set. Next year when I turn 21, my study payments double, and if I have found a job by then, even better.

  235. And better still, you’ll have reached the legal drinking age.

  236. Oh yeah I keep forgetting it’s 21 over there. So used to it being eighteen here that it’s hard to imagine it higher anywhere else.
    Probably a good thing I’m missing out this year then, just be sure to throw just as awesome a party next year!

  237. Yeah, the 21 thing is a bit of a drag. I live in a town with the coolest downtown bar/concert venue scene, and I live with friends who have been 21 for ever. I’m stuck at home most nights, though, because I’m too young and don’t really want to screw around with a fake ID.

  238. Does it actually keep any under-ages from drinking?
    Because it sure doesn’t here lol

  239. It sure as hell never stopped me xD

  240. Well of course it didn’t, SoCo. :P

  241. :D

    I hear loud thunder.

  242. Yay loud thunder.

  243. Arreh, I’m hungry. I want brownies.

  244. HASH Brownies?

  245. O

    I was thinking like fudge brownies

  246. FUDGE HASH BROWNIES

  247. BEST
    OF
    BOTH
    WORLDS

  248. AND BACON STRIPS

  249. I am a demigoddess.

  250. We know, dear.

  251. In BED.
    I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist, I just had to.
    But if you’re such a demigoddess, PROVE IT. Appear before me right now, and take me back to your place so we can do the rum-nacho-games thing! AND so I can get out of the country because i seriously want to do that. Fuck this place.

  252. Indeed ;)

    Unfortunately, being only a demigoddess and not a full goddess, my powers of teleportation are restricted to a three block radius. So if you could get yourself to within three blocks of me, I could easily bring you the rest of the way. SN: I will attempt astral projection at some point in the near future. Look for me in your dreams ;)

    It sounds like you had a shitty day. If you want to talk, message me.

  253. Ah, phooey. But if I do go to sleep and wake up to an image of you saying “I TOLD YOU SO” I will shit bricks.

  254. No dupe, message me. I will be all, Hey baby, how you doin’? Oh no, tell me all about it. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah, she’s a bitch. Oh my gawd no way? You’re fabulous. You know it. I love you. Huh? Oh, uh. In those clothes, I meant. I love you in those clothes.

    YOU SEE I GOT THIS C’MON

  255. Are you trying to come onto me?
    Because trying to cover stuff up is the wrong way about it gurlfrannnnn

  256. It’s too late…

    I’ve already seen everything.

  257. As a demi-goddess, you should have always seen everything, and more.
    I’m losing faith…

  258. I like you guys you two are awesome.

    In other news I have been off my face with paracetamol/fever since about Saturday yay.

  259. Why Arreh, I could almost thank you for that
    IF I BELIEVED YOU, YOU LYING HETHEN.

    Ahem. That sounds like a horrible way to celebrate the week after your eighteenth. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

  260. Tee hee silly dupersude, heathen is not spelt hethen.

    Actually spending a week high sounds like a very good way to celebrate my first week of being 18, albeit for the wrong reasons. So there.

    I am drinking hot chocolate and learning how to find eigenvectors and values.

  261. Dupersude. I am not omnipotent. I am an extremely minor deity along the lines of Hestia. My scope of influence is limited to hearth and home, maternity, nurturing, etc. I done tole you so stop busting my ovaries please.

    Arreh, I like you too, fir you yourself are fairly awesome.

    Also, stop being sick, or I shall be forceful to nurture you. Which is difficult as I cannot teleport.

    Also, what are eigenvectors?

  262. I really should’ve proofread that before posting it xD

  263. Oh man, nurturing would be so great right now.

    Eigenvectors are based on the Eigenvalue solution to a non-singular n by m matrix, in which the solutions are non-zero and infinite.

  264. I imagine that would be fascinating if I understood it in the slightest.

    Where are Midgie, Michael, and G? I miss them.

    Hey, I just found out my brother-in-law is getting married on 12th November. What do you think I should do?

  265. I second that whole-heartedly.

    In regards to him getting married, you should do what any half-decent demigoddess would do.
    DEVOUR HIS SOULLLL. DEVOUR THE SOULS OF ALL THOSE WHO OPPOSE YOU, AND ALL THOSE WHO DON’T. CONSUME ALLLLLL.

  266. But I just ate…lol

    Seriously, it’s not so much that he’s getting married. I don’t particularly like him so it’s no concern of mine if he wants to make a stupid decision.

    It’s the TIMING.

  267. The timing? What ha- OHHHH.
    Yeah… I’d warn them in advance that you won’t be attending.

  268. Damn I hate that brother-in-law, he sucks.

    Do not attend, say you have a world to save and dragons to slay.

  269. Yeah, I was trying to think how to say it diplomatically. How dies this sound: Dude, you get married all the time, but Skyrim only comes out once.

  270. “You can get married ANY time. In fact, you could divorce and do it again, and again and AGAIN! AND if you become a Mormon, you can do it over and over WITHOUT EVEN DIVORCING!
    Skyrim, on the other hand, only gets released once.”

  271. What’s funny is that he kinda does get married all the time. This is his second wedding since I’ve known him. The problem is that I didn’t go to the first one, so it would be hard to justify to the family missing this one too :/

  272. I feel loved.

  273. Like that time that your dad molested you?

  274. What? I didn’t molester him…

  275. G is Michaels father?
    DRAMATIC PLOT TWIST.

  276. D-dad?

  277. Oh gosh.

  278. *Chariots of Fire by Vangelis plays as Michael and G run toward each other in slow motion for a heart melting father-son reunion hug*

  279. *tears welling up*

  280. if he doesnt finish before november 11th im going to kill people
    violently

    look on the brightside
    he’s not updating
    maybe because hes playing!
    maybe he will release a feature lengh nondrick movie narrated by morgan freeman!
    maybe he will post a big post!
    maybe he will put it all in a book and sell it on amazon!
    maybe he killed himself!
    maybe he is busy with other stuff, like that other site!
    maybe he went back in time and was eaten by a t-rex
    maybe hes just going to delete this blog after 11 11 11
    maybe i am going craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy!

  281. this is bullshit the last update was july 12th
    he said hed finish before skyrim
    you would think there would be at least 1-2 updates per month

    but his other site screencuisine
    which is chock-full of opinionated nonsense noone really cares about has been updated 90 times
    this is exactly what happened with darkspirefilms
    they made matchmaking-it became popular
    they got too full of themselves and thought they would be able to pull off loads of other stuff

    however when they realized noone cared about the other stuff
    did they go back to the original machima which made them popluar , which had been on a year-long hiatus?
    no.
    they made a 14 minute “fuck you” and quit
    you can find it on youtube
    just type in “matchmaking”
    or “darkspirefilms”

    this is the forseeable future

    someone needs to grab chris by the shoulders and shake him and make him realize noone on the internet really cares how he feels about movies and games and the like
    they care about nondrick
    and if nondrick goes, he goes

    its like in horton hears a who
    chris is the mayor
    and nondrick is the elephant
    chris livingston will excist as long as he keeps nondrck going
    cause if he lets nondrick get butchered by a purple kangaroo
    he will most definately be thrown into lava

  282. That… was a lot to get caught up on.

    As proponent of the Goat faith, I damn any unauthorised godhood. Once you have submitted the correct forms to one of our handy local deification outlets, you may join the pantheon, BBoP. Nothing persona, just good business.

  283. But Midget, it was the almighty Goat himself that gave us our godhood! If that’s not authorised, I don’t know what is!

  284. Paperwork shmaperwork. It’s only demigodhood.
    I have demonstrated my ability to perform minor domestic miracles. Let my deeds speak for themselves.

  285. You want an honorary godhood? Well, why not just say so! Bring forth the mystic tabulation tinctures and the Collated Portfolios of the Seven Suns! We shall commence the Holy Ritual of Deification!

  286. …Is Infantonium involved?

  287. What do you think the tinctures contain? It wouldn’t be a true holy rite without murdering at least three or four infants.

  288. Harry, in convinient haiku form,

    telling people on
    the web that I am nude in
    your bed means no sex

  289. Holy jesus fucking god damn christ, you are my new favourite person EVER.

  290. Oh bollocks. I had
    forgotten that I told you
    about this website.

  291. xD

  292. My day is now infinitely better.

  293. Monday night parties are silly. Ow.

  294. I want to go to a silly party.

  295. Make your Halloween party a silly one.

  296. Hey guys! I’ve officially decided that in a few years time (when i’ve saved a bit of money) I am going on an around-the-world-backpacking-soul-searching-adventure.
    Who wants to meet up? :D

  297. Well, after uni that is what I am doing. So, see you in four years?

  298. 4 years is perfect timing. Join us (Putzy and I) in quest to hopefully meet the entire crew! Or as much of it as possible anyway.

  299. in our quest* god dammit!

  300. End education;
    travel around world because
    hell, why the fuck not?

  301. Well done, dear. Now come and watch Dollhouse.

  302. Do you always speak
    In Haiku, Antonia?
    I’m just curious.

  303. Nope. That would be really silly.

  304. And exhausting.
    Like having to get up to change the channel because the remote is on the other couch, so instead you just keep watching Antiques Road Show….

  305. I was going to think of something witty to say, but I failed.

    Meh.

  306. I like your round the world trip idea. I suggest the following places:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeadSspZDzM

  307. All on the list.

  308. Happy birthday, Michael!

    That’s right, guys, it’s my birthday, today!

  309. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL

  310. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHAEL!

    COMMENCE BIRTHDAY SPANKING!

    Do you prefer gentle, or rough?

  311. I AM ARREH I LIKE OBLIVION AND KHAJIITS AND I LIKE TO RAPE MY GIRLFRIEND WHO IS A KHAJIIT

  312. Jesus christ you are high on medicine get off the internet Antonia.

    Using my email like that is very rude.

    At least wish Michael a happy birthday.

  313. Happy birthday Michael.

  314. Thank you, both.

    BBoP, p-please be gentle…

    *it’s my first*

  315. Update, asshole.

  316. Happy birthday, Michael!

    I think I should give up drinking… I have a horrible confession to make which makes me worry for my own safety and the safety of those around me…
    Last night, a friend came over. We had a 700 mL bottle of Captain Morgan’s rum between us, and… well…
    When I woke up this morning… and I logged back into my computer… I found out i had been using INTERNET EXPLORER… OH GOD THE HORROR.. *sobs hysterically*

  317. Happy Birthday Michael!

    There there, dupersude, it’s okay. Only know that your soul is forever tainted. You’ll be fine.

    (FINE: Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.)

  318. Awww, thanks Midge… That’s… Actually that’s not comforting at all.
    Especially when you take away the F and the N to be left with IE, the initials of the Devil’s Browser.
    WHICH I HAD OPEN OH GOD WHY WAS IT OPEN ;_;

  319. Don’t worry, Michael. I can be tender.

    Dupe, you’ll have to be grounded from teh internets if that’s how you’re going to behave.

  320. Behave like what? A raving lunatic?

  321. Yes.

  322. But that’s what I am!
    COKE AND PEPSI ARE THE SAME THING! WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN?!

  323. Pepsi is superior.

  324. You know you’re still signed in as me?

  325. Prepare to die, heathen.

  326. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MICHAEL!

    Also pepsi.

  327. Update NOW.

  328. If you’re going to try and impersonate us, at least TRY to find our emails instead of using the same one…

  329. Thanks, everyone.

    dupersude, I am… heartbroken.

  330. But I was drunk! It didn’t mean anything! Baby, please forgive me! I swear she was a one time thing, i thought it was you, I didn’t know what I was doing!

  331. It is amazing what the human body can handle. for example, did you know that two people can go through a bottle of wine and a bottle of 80 – proof vodka without dying?

    It’s also amazing how they then think that calling me to help sort them out is an awesome idea.

  332. dupersude says:

    Help sort them out, as in, help fill out their registration forms for the AA centre?

  333. i was in AA once, but i was kicked out for indecent exposure

  334. deathonumbrellas says:

    …and peeing in the punch. I don’t see why they were so mad, it improved the flavor.

  335. dupersudeersude says:

    Attention, Crew members! This is your chance to get some epic indie games at intensely cheap prices, AND give money to charity AT THE SAME TIME!!!11!1!oneeleven!112!

    http://www.humblebundle.com/

  336. dupersude says:

    Also, what the fuck was up with my name? Rectified.

  337. How should i feel about someone impersonating me?
    I mean, yes they said something offensive,
    but they also wanted, at least for a brief moment to be me!
    I’ve never known these feelings

  338. lifeonparasols says:

    …kinda tingly in the nether regions. Like the after-effect of a wraith-punch to the nads.

  339. I’m starting to feel……annoyed.

  340. I dreamt Antonia was flirting on here with some guy called Oscar or Otto or something.

    So, yeah. Fuck you, OttoOscar.

  341. Hey c’mon man, it was one time!

  342. Antonia?

    dupersude, I hope that you will better yourself…

  343. dupersude says:

    better myself from/for what?

  344. Hey OttoOscar, you’re looking good these days, how’s it going?

  345. O_O

  346. I am confused as all get-out.

  347. About what happened the 30th September, dupersude.

    *cries*

  348. The drunk I.e thing? That was on the 28th or 29th wasn’t it? :S

  349. Time is relative. And apparently theoretically malleable, if faster than light speeds are actually possible (Hooray for CERN!). Big physics party here, one of the professors just jointly won the Nobel Prize in Physics with two guys in America. Any physics fans out there?

    A toast to Professor Schmidt!

  350. Oh Schmidt. But wossname just died, so are they giving it to him posthumously?

    And yes, I am a physics fan. Physics at uni yay.

  351. dupersude says:

    “My father was a watchmaker. He abandoned it when Einstein discovered that time is relative. I would only imagine that a symbolic clock is as nourishing to the intellect, as a photograph of oxygen to a drowning man.”

  352. DooperSood says:

    Update… now.

  353. Sigh.

    In other news, my applications for uni have been sent off.

  354. dupersude says:

    Who the fuck is that?
    Yaaaay Arreh. Here’s hoping you get accepted. What are you planning to study?

  355. Physics and Philosophy at Oxford, Oriel. Physics at Imperial, Durham, St Andrews and Manchester. Was told my application was “bomb-proof”, so here’s hoping =]

    I just did a smiley face. That’s how excited I am right now.

  356. dupersude says:

    Fuck studying physics as a proper thing. It interests me and intrigues me, in the vague sense that if I want to know something I can look it up on wikipedia and be informed, but I tried doing it as a course in highschool…. Euch.

  357. update, dood!

  358. does anyone here know of any other blogs which feature tales such as this one?
    now, i dont mind adventure but i do mind consistancy
    i also accept fallout in case in comes up

  359. You hard science majors put the fear of Goat in me. I’ll sit here content in my Music/Psych. Soft as a pillow!

    Basically, good luck Arreh!

  360. dupersude says:

    Midgey, at least you have psych. I don’t even have that. Just music.
    Granted, music is all I need or want, but I just wish I were BETTER at it. Other people my age, or even five years younger than me, people who played the piano as a child or even did music as a subject in highschool, they all have such an upper hand against me.
    So jelly.

  361. Ah, but improv is a different skill set entirely. Believe me, I’ve been spending the better part of three years trying to get good enough to get into the Jazz school. Classical training is good in itself, incredible structure and discipline, but you’re in a different area altogether, at least from your clips. Try asking those five years younger than you to make something up.

    Plus, the best musicians I know have cripplingly low opinions of their performance skills. You’re obviously some sort of Neo-Mozart.

  362. Just wanted to share this with you – it looks pretty amazing, if it works as well as shown.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxjiQoTp864

  363. dupersude says:

    Not sure if that was a compliment :S. Are you saying improvisation and feeling where a piece is going shouldn’t be rated against those with prior experience and that I am in fact good at what I do? Neo-mozart as in, resurrected/reincarnated mozart?
    Because that would definitely be a compliment, although I wouldn’t really agree with it :P

    And what’s with the photoshop video Michael?

  364. Technology, dupersude!

    Now you can fix that blurry photo you took of Putzy before he ra- I mean initiated you in the famous basement.

  365. In fact that’s exactly what I’m saying, dupersude. Two different skill sets. Like fishing and spear fishing.

  366. dupersude says:

    yeah I thought that’s what it was.
    At first I couldn’t tell if you were an ad bot impersonating you lol. I had to actually scroll up and see that you had made an account and your previous pictures had changed to realise it.

    Midgey – Well, thank-you for the compliment! :D I guess it’s a little easier to get used to improv when it’s the first thing you really learn. Like languages.

  367. well fuck! Tom Reed just killed me!
    see you all in july 2012

  368. Well, I actually made the gravatar account for another site…

    Seems like WordPress uses it, too.

  369. dupersude says:

    Ahhh. Yes, I created a wordpress account a while ago so I could hit the “like” button n the LiO posts, and doing so also created my Gravatar. But I never got around to adding a picture for my profile or anything.

  370. Totally Zef says:

    Update, you fokking goon!

  371. Come on man. I need closure. I think Nondrick needs some epicly stupid death to finish off this adventure. I’d prefer it if he didn’t die but I think it’s the only option.

  372. Hi.

  373. dupersude says:

    Jaeger, vodka, absinthe, at the same time.
    That is all.

  374. I just inject straight ethanol into my head.

  375. This post was just to get our hopes up, right?

  376. I can’t wait for the next installment, just read the entire blog history!

  377. dupersude! remember the last time you drank too much?
    hint: it involves the devils browser

  378. Arreh, I tried that once.
    I don’t think I like skipping weeks of my life at a time and waking up dishevelled in a resort on an island off the coast of south america with sixteen new wives though, so I won’t do it again.

  379. Hey, dupersude, did you get an XBL friend request from some Sans Rioter?

    I know you’re there, Rioter, lurking in the shadows. Come out where I can see you!

  380. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been on XBL in a long while. Mostly because my dog chewed up the ethernet cord last year some time. Occasionally I would wheel it out to the modem to get DLC and stuff. But that takes a lot of effort. So I only do it a couple times a year, at most.

    Also, guys, I had a holy encounter back in mid-2009 and took a photo of it for you all but never got around to uploading it.
    Just now though, I did.
    http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/256/goats.jpg/

  381. i’m here, Midget.

  382. I AM THE REAL SLIM-SANS RIOTER DONT LET THAT IMPOSTER FOOL YOU

  383. I AM SO FAT AND CHICKEN WACA WACA WACA

  384. BBoP, dupersude…

    That was beautiful.

  385. dupersude says:

    The greatest. Ever.

  386. Doctor Peanut says:

    Why do I keep leaving for so long only to come crawling back here? I just can’t stay away, no matter how long I’ve been gone. I am greatly disturbed by this.

  387. Does anyone know why it takes so long for Chris to update?
    Also, why did the deathonumbrellas guy try to impersonate me, right after i posted? I mean, it’s obvious that it’s him and not me.
    I though he would be alot more clever than that.

  388. You would think that, but all past evidence would indicate otherwise. Nice to be optimistic though.

    He hasn’t updated his other blog, either. I guess he must have become involved in some sort of adventure. Possibly zany, we can’t be sure.

  389. Also, your name links to deathonumbrellas. Try correcting that before you try to impersonate other people.

  390. I am bewildered by all the bullshit, so I’m just going to pretend it’s not happening.

    Hi everyone. :D

  391. He has another blog? Tell me more!

    On a vastly unrelated side-note, how would one remove such links?

  392. dupersude says:

    So… He’s impersonating himself?
    What a lonely, lonely guy.

    Hi BBoP! :D

  393. Hey everyone look it is me

  394. Geggity, Arreh.

    Michael, Dupe, Midgie.

    Where’s G? I feel like he needs a birthday spanking. Trying to lie low, I suspect.

    Or chained to a radiator.

  395. dupersude says:

    Ahoi, Arreh!

    Chained to a radiator? HOW DID YOU FIGURE OUT MY GRAPING-TECHNIQUE?!

  396. dupersude says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqq051BU2MY
    “C’MERE KIDS. I’M GONNA TIE YOU TO THE RADIATOR AND GRRRRAPE YOU IN THE MOUTH!”

  397. dupersude, a classic.

  398. http://colourchromatic.tumblr.com/post/11719140301/this-is-a-thing-i-wrote-and-played-at-the-same
    It’s been a while since I recorded myself improvising.
    So here you go.

  399. i liked your piano playing dupersude

  400. dupersude says:

    Well thank-you, life/death/whatever you want to be called.
    As for “not being an idiot any more”, you’re on probation in my books.

  401. I do not want to be Probated

  402. dupersude says:

    dealwithit.gif

  403. …holy crap. NONDRICK CHAPTERS I HAVEN’T READ.

    FROM THIS YEAR. HOLY CRAP GUYS. YES.

  404. HOLY SHIT. VADERMATH. NO WAY. NO WAY IT’S REALLY YOU.

  405. Wooooooooooooooooow

  406. DUPERSUDE. AND MIDGET. AND MICHAEL. Even Arreh!

    Now we just need Lantern, people! XD

  407. Holy shit bricks, Vadermath’s back!

  408. ^ That was me, entered my email in wrongly.

  409. Vadermath! It’s been too long…

  410. All of the people are here. Huzzah!

    Also interview at Manchester tomorrow for physics yay

  411. Not EVERYONE.
    Putzy is still too lazy to post on here.
    Max and Washcloth are obviously still MIA from forever ago.
    There are probably a few others, I remember the crew being quite large at some point.

    Also, from now on, I’ll be using this email. Just so you know.

  412. Obligatory post with my old email to confirm that the above post with the different avatar is in fact myself.

  413. lifeonparasols (i wont be an spammer anymore) says:

    Vadermath? THE VADERMATH? holy goats! i suddenly feel small and worthless….

    Please forgive me for my stupidity in the previous comments.
    i was a different person, an imbecile.

    i now only wish to comment and read my master…

  414. Family reunion!

    *hugs* :-D

    Dupe, I like your new purple symbol thingie. Also tell Putzy we need a story for old times’ sake.

  415. dupersude says:

    Thanks, BBoP!
    I’ve posted on his wall.
    If he doesn’t come back, I’ll be severely disappointed…

  416. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Holy shit, Vadermath! Welcome back man!

  417. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    I’m not sure about doing a story though. I accidentally became good at writing, so it probably won’t be as funny.

  418. *squeals*

  419. Will you do your best to be a bad writer? Please?

    Also, welcome back!

  420. Yaaaaaay family reunion!!! *sniffle*

  421. Blimey, that went quiet.

  422. Arreh's mum says:

    Arreh, you are supposed to be revising for your PAT. I am very disappointed.

  423. PAT, I’ve heard that acronym somewhere.

  424. Oh, that’s my friend, Patrick.

  425. That’s not my mum.

    PAT – Physics Aptitude Test, for Oxford.

    About to do one right now, actually, so shut up, mum.

  426. Vadermath says:

    I bet your mum did some *physics aptitude tests* back in the day, eh? /wink

  427. YOU TAKE THAT BACK

  428. GuessWhoItIs says:

    13 days chris 13 days.Well 12 in 1 and a half hours.

  429. Oh, I forgot about the timer.

    I wonder what’s going to happen? Does Chris have new posts prepared, waiting to be dropped like the nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki on the 10th November?

    Only one way to find out…

  430. lifeonparasols says:
  431. God dammit, LiO, why won’t you email me about updates! ;_;

  432. I saw some leaked videos of Skyrim, today… The graphics weren’t very impressive.

    Here’s to hoping it was not the PC version and not maxed!

    The videos are all gone now, though, since ZeniMax claimed copyright on them.

  433. Just dropped by to say: Happy Birthday, BBoP!

  434. lifeonparasols says:

    i wonder if nondrick died and chris is having a hard time writing about it.

  435. Thank you, Midgie! :-D

  436. Happy birthday, BBoP. A tip of the hat to you.

  437. Thank you, Arreh! You are too kind. :-D

  438. King Cabbage says:

    I feel like I know all of you people!

    Been reading posts from years ago, it’s like unearthing a time capsule.

  439. Happy (late?) birthday!

  440. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Happy Late birthday, BBoP!
    King Cabbage, you should post more and get more indoctrinated!

  441. I don’t know that you are meant to tell a potential indoctrinatee that you are going to indoctrinate them, but what the hey. I acquiesce to your superior methods.

  442. Happy belated birthday BBoP!
    Good luck to you Arreh on your PAT tomorrow.

    Any new members, need to visit, Putzy’s basement…..

  443. lifeonparasols says:

    Whats it like in Putzy’s basement?
    I’m simply curious…

    • Happiest place on earth. Soda, cake, hardcore s&m. Yes.

      Thank you, G :)

      Did anyone here dress up and get hammered? ‘Cause I didn’t. Still a nice birthday tho.

  444. BBoP, I dressed up like Spoon Killer.

    It was quite successful.

    Here he is, for you who are unfamiliar with the demon;
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y

  445. lifeonparasols says:

    Soda,cake and hardcore s&m?
    that’s what i did for my 16th birthday, only without the soda.

    By the way, where can i watch The horribly slow murderer with the extremely inefficient weapon?
    I looked on Netflix, googled it, asked around, the whole nine yards.
    But for some reason i cannot find it!

  446. Parasols, it’s not a real movie…

    The creator has made a lot of videos to make it as much of a video as possible, though! You should check out their channel – they’re pretty good.

  447. Did I say video? I meant movie.

  448. and again
    and again…
    AND AGAIN

  449. lifeonparasols says:

    That’s unfortunate, it has great potential. I will check out his channel though, and subsequently search for real versions of i what i presume to be fake but well done trailers for movies that aren’t real.
    Personally i don’t want to have to go to Blockbuster AGAIN and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and…
    .

  450. lifeonparasols says:

    I almost forgot, i found this
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWaKSzhvc_I
    LIVE BY THE HOOF
    DIE BY THE HOOF
    coming the next 2007

  451. Testing something out here.
    Happy birthday, again, BBoP. What happened to your epic Halloween/birthday party combo that was supposed to have copious amounts of alcohol, disguises and rampant flirtation?

  452. Cool it works :D
    I’m gonna be posting on here regularly again, guys. The reason I wasn’t before was because when I switched emails some shit happened and notifications were getting marked as spam.
    Fixed now though!

  453. hey faggots i know you’re super keen to simulate the feeling of having real friends by spamming up the comments section of a dead blog but you look like retards which i imagine you are considering you all display the symptoms of about 200 autism spectrum disorders

  454. lifeonparasols says:

    I did not realize there are OVER 200 AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDERS!
    The only three i know of are Regular Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome and “Stop acting like a retard before i beat you with my belt!” Disorder.

  455. dupersude says:

    Oh yeaaah that sucks D: Next year, maybe.
    When I might have the money to join you in your festivities!

  456. Deez Nuts says:

    Update, nigga.

  457. lifeonparasols says:

    I thought Mr. Livingston was white?
    He’s a nigger?

  458. dupersude says:

    You shouldn’t assume things like that.
    It’s racist.

  459. What a rude person.

  460. dupersude says:

    64 hours, 51 minutes.

  461. eeeeeeeeeeee

  462. Holy shit, what is this?
    Forged in Gods very flames.
    Do mine eyes tell me lies,
    A new Elder Scrolls Game?
    Time is nigh, I must fly,
    Venture forth on my quest.
    Goodbye Ma, goodbye Pa
    And goodbye Girlfriends breasts.
    Ill be off Azeroth, catch you later Hyrule.
    Ill be gone Albion, Im no longer your fool.
    Other crap filled the gap
    While I waited to begin
    The adventure of my life
    in the land of Skyrim!

  463. dupersude says:

    I’ve seen that video.
    Pretty much describes me.

  464. Midnight launch party in 11 hours, 15 minutes!

  465. Is this guy really not going to finish Nondrick’s story? I’m super disappointed in whoever this guy is.

  466. Jelly as, midgey. We got a midnight release for MW3, but not Skyrim.
    FUCK modern warfare.

    BBoP, I have my will in order and everything. I regret nothing.

  467. lifeonparasols says:

    So, what will you guys be in Skyrim?

    Me? I’ll probably be an smooth-talking yet incredibly ugly Argonian who likes to cast protection spells on random townsfolk and smack things with a “huge honkin’ hammer”.

    Now that i think about it, you think the wrestler Triple H reads this blog?

  468. Oh yeah, Skyrim broke street date here so I’m playing it right now.
    I’m a nord warrior.

  469. Oh you bastard.

  470. :D
    I won’t say anything about the story here, but it’s FUCKING AWESOME.
    I’m sure midgey agrees with me.

  471. We must make Chris do a Skyrim Nondrick, dammit!

  472. I wish. Clearly we can’t make Chris do ANYthing.

  473. I was thinking of starting a blog up.
    But I can’t seem to find any lasagne in-game.
    Also I couldn’t take screenshots.

  474. Guys… What if… What if this is how the story ends? There might be a few hidden messages, here.

    Nondrick is clearly impressed with her mad potato-bread making skills, a kiss is mentioned, and so is Nondrick’s preference on women… What if he changes his mind after eating that potato-bread? What if Nondrick ends up marrying her, and lives with her for the rest of his life?

    Otherwise, she might have poisoned his bread, since he declined her kiss.

  475. lifeonparasols says:

    I……I’m……rather upset.
    I saw how duper and midge got the game early, those fucking bastards. Don’t know how lucky they are.
    It’s only a matter of time…….
    Also, on a much more sane note, i honestly hope dupersude starts his own blog. I’ve seen how you people type and it shouldn’t be too much of a challenge for any of you.
    I would be willing to leave Chris Livingston AND Nondrick behind if ANY of you started a blog.

    Viva la Revolution!

  476. I would volunteer to do a screenshot blog, but the only reason my little sister didn’t rip me asunder when I moved out with my xbox is because I promised to get Skyrim and bring it back for a month so she could play it. So sorry, but my continued existence in as few pieces as possible is more important to me.

  477. Of course, Michael… it all makes SENSE now!
    Let’s just hope Chris comes back to confirm that is the case and wraps things up.

    I could still do a blog, it’s just that the in-game pics would be photos of my TV taken with my iPhone. So they obviously wouldn’t be very good ones.

  478. It’s todayyyyyyy.

    Also I get the pc version yay so my Skyrim will be prettier than yours.

  479. Welp, today is Skyrim release day. Will Chris return to finish the blog? Will there be more blogs or just a quick “And then I run out into the road, beat up a guard and die” end? Will a Skyrim blog be started? Who knows!

  480. It didn’t arrive =[

  481. Awww that’s a shame…
    I’ll be sure to slay a dragon and consume it’s soul, just for you, Arreh.

  482. I went out and bought it. It’s installing now.

    I’ll be consuming my own souls from now on.

  483. Same goes for me, Arreh.

    DOVAHKIN

  484. FUS RO DAH!

  485. lifeonparasols says:

    How to do the chicken-dance in SKYRIM:

    crouch-walk forward with 2 spells equipped and rapidly alternate the left-hand and right-hand buttons

    Why is the first word of power learned “Douche”?

  486. lifeonparasols says:

    In first-person if you have any spell equipped, you can make your hand talk by tapping the appropriate button.

    Here’s a pro-tip:

    To defeat enemy, wait until they go jogging.
    Then run up beside them with parachute…HADUKEN!

  487. It’s not. It’s “Fus”.
    The other two in that shout are “Ro” and “Dah” which is what I posted RIGHT ABOVE you.

  488. Update this year, nigga.

  489. I got elbowed in the jaw and it really hurts. Won the fight, though.

    Do not want college. Want Skyrim.

  490. Have the best of both worlds. Join the College of Winterhold!

  491. lifeonparasols says:

    dupersude, when i posted that i had not gotten the whole shout yet.
    anyways that’s how it sounded to me, and i laughed heartily!

    i have 2 questions.

    1. How do you get into the dark brotherhood? I killed 7 guards in Markath and then slept a couple times ’cause i figured it worked the same, but i got nothing.

    2. How many of you had accidentally used the sprint shout near a cliff and have gotten the expected results.

  492. There’s a side quest to find a runaway orphan trying to contact the Brotherhood. Do that.

    Hail Sithis!

  493. lifeonparasols says:

    Yeah, i just heard that rumor at an inn in Winterhold. On my way to check it out now.

    Hail Sithis!

  494. lifeonparasols says:

    I almost forgot to mention that i’m a werewolf and that there is no negative aspect about it apart from the weakness to silver.

  495. You should stop spoiling the game…

  496. Darth Vader is Luke's father says:

    How am i spoiling the game? I’m confident that at no point in the game do they show you how to do the chicken-dance or make your hands talk. The thing about “FUS” being “douche” was a joke + it’s the first shout you learn AND it was in the trailer.

    Rumor at an inn in Winterhold isn’t a spoiler because i never said where the boy was and you can hear that rumor at any inn, I also heard it in Whiterun and Markath.

    Werewolves have a weakness to silver! OH NO! I have completely spoiled werewolf mythology to you! I AM SOOOO SORRY.

    i was simply saying that if you get the chance, you should do it.

    Don’t even get me fucking started on sprint shout.

    Hail Sithis!

  497. Hey, Dick. Can I call you Dick?
    Listen. Not EVERYONE ON HERE knows werewolves are even IN skyrim. I certainly didn’t until a different friend told me about it on Facebook, and I got quite pissed with him for spoiling it for me.
    Remember how I said you were on probation in my books?
    You were doing so well…

  498. You’re only making it worse – I didn’t even know there were towns called Winterhold, Whiterun and Markath…

  499. Well, at least he didn’t spoil the whole Dark Brotherhood storyline where the entire DB cell ends up getting killed by the P.O. (Imperial Special Ops) and you have to rebuild it with the Night Mother, the redguard swordmaster and a 300 year-old vampire girl ( no really, she was turned at the age of 10). Now THAT’s spoilage!

    And I’ll toss in another “update, nigga” just for shits and giggles.

  500. Shit, and people call *us* assholes for excluding and alienating a bunch of people.

  501. lifeonparasols says:

    I have not said anything about these towns or there locations, i just said the names! It’s not spoiling anything!

    But i admit Dupersude is right about the werewolf thing and i apologize for that.

    I’m actually kinda curious now about the whole

    “Shit, and people call *us* assholes for excluding and alienating a bunch of people.”

    Who have you alienated? If anything you have been very open to idiots like myself! You aren’t assholes, you’re the most polite and literate group of individuals i have ever seen-in both the internet AND real life.

    I also feel that i need to apologize for my preceding post. I was just irritated.

  502. I guess your flattery is enough for me to forgive you, lifeonparasols.

  503. Dear Nondrick, why do you not act like a real person? I mean, I know you are an NPC and all, but aren’t you still a human being? Back a couple updates ago, you were looking for a way to cure your diseases, but you were opposed to stealing the pie (?) from the house. Wouldn’t a real person in that exact position choose to take the pie, 9 times out of 10? If it would benefit them to steal without anybody noticing, would not a person choose to steal the pie? Just something to thing about.

  504. Thank you Michael,

  505. In other news, “gypsy-core” is awesome.
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Barons-of-Tang/27135980829

  506. Currently Nondrick is in the woods between Bravil and Skingrad.
    It would not be that difficult to have Nonny KO’d and dragged to Helgen where he could easily run through the default opening scene as you don’t really need to do anything but move and stay behind people. + there is so much more stuff to do in Skyrim that Nonny could easily make an honest to goodness living. I would go on to name some money making tricks but i want the approval of those who would be sensitive to that info. I won’t be specific, just “you can blank and blank, in certain places”.

  507. http://twitter.com/#!/screencuisine

    Chrsi talk about “Nondrim”

  508. http://lonelyasamushroomcloud.wordpress.com/

    I have not read this yet, but it gives the appearance of being a sort of cousin to LIO

  509. Yeah, maybe if he bumped into Doc Brown somewhere along the way who threw him into the DeLorean and brought him 200 years into the future.

  510. also, that other site.
    Seems legit.

  511. What are you referencing? I am lost……..

    Anyways, i found out that it’s done by a fellow Nonny fan and might be a great vacation home while Mr. Livingston as we all know, will even with LIS, put us all trough another hiatus.

  512. Oh, i forgot to mention that the other site needs italics so if one of you could go fix that, it would be appreciated.

    or if you could tell me how to do it, that would be infinitely better!

  513. Breaking italics is a Crew tradition.
    We can’t just tell ANY old outsider.

  514. Also, if you don’t get references as blatant as Doc Brown and the Delorean, you need to be taken behind the chemical sheds and shot.

  515. I got it, dupersude!

    Do I get a present (except for keeping my life)?

  516. Did you get my other reference? In my most recent post before this one?
    Hint: It wasn’t in reference to the same thing as the other two.

  517. Getting shot i can deal with but chemical sheds i cannot, i will google it and i will be enlightened.

  518. OH YEAH, NOW I GET IT!
    I haven’t seen back to the future in at least 3 years and i never really got into it….

  519. Hey, my friend has been having depression issues and is looking for something to cheer him up, any suggestions?

  520. Get him laid.

  521. well this has ben said a thousand times by athousand peopll but
    i told him to go fuck a scottish bulldog and he got updet i gotta go seeya

  522. If it is true depression there’s not much you can say to cheer them up. Try to get them to focus on short term goals, nothing further than a week away. Tell them to look forward to the thing on the weekend or something. The mind can’t really grasp huge things in the future, it’s either soon or never.

    It is also important to not be overly pushy in regards to cheering them up. Saying things like “You just need to think positive”, etc, doesn’t work and can often have an adverse effect, causing the sufferer to feel inadequate at being unable to overcome their condition, despite it being completely out of their control.

    Depression is generally episodic, so if symptoms persist or recur, or if he tries something drastic, get him to see a professional. There is no shame in talking to a doctor, or taking pills. The fact is that depression is an illness, like influenza or tuberculosis.

    Hope that helps. Good luck. :)

  523. Get him laid BY a puppy! Two birds with one stone!

  524. Midgie, I wish you’d been my friend when I was a teen-ager.

    Dupe, how drunk are you? Go lie down.

  525. I’m not drunk at all anymore. That party was almost a full 24 hours ago now.

  526. Hey, what is the drug that is a bubbly clear liquid that tastes very bitter? Because my last post AND several bruises were the result. So i would’ve told him to go see a doctor but he said they just “pretend to care ’cause they’re paid for it” and he tends to shut down when you hold directly opposing views. Don’t take it the wrong way, he’s very open-minded about most topics of debate but once he’s made up his mind, he’s made up his mind.

    I’m planning on making Skyrim Videos and posting them to Youtube, would it be acceptable to post them here, too?

    Does anyone here know the location of spells related to the one with the symbol of the gates that frequently popped up in the forth entry of the series in question. particularly in relation to making things appear that will do battle with preexisting entities? I have already obtained what happens in winter and what the suns gives off including a creature very similar but not exactly like a canine
    in forms both opposite to red and opposite to blue. In particular i would prefer one that shares resemblance to the undead but without flesh.

  527. …. Wow.
    Good effort on hiding the spoilers.
    I’d help you out but I’m not entirely well versed in magic, let alone conjuration tomes. Best to look on the UESPwiki.

    Also, guys, I have a new site. It’s still a tumblr blog, but it’s officially my music-site where all my gig news and songs and stuff will be posted (because everybody on here wants to know about my gigs because you can all attend them with ease).
    It’s at http://colourchromaticmusic.tumblr.com
    Also I have a facebook page which can be found hyperlinked at the bottom of the tumblr page you should also like that because it is good and stuff.

  528. We’re all interested in your music, dupe, silly. I am going to go listen to some of it right now.

    Also I got called to interview for Physics at Oxford eeeeeeee =]

  529. Congratulations, Arreh!

    And thanks for the effort, parasols. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t post the videos here, but instead you could just link to your youtube profile by putting it in the Website field.

  530. I’m glad i have your consent, Michael and Dupersude i’ll check out your music in a bit. I would like to make it known that i was never talking about Conjuration, i was discussing the other school of shiny effects that has the symbol of the gates that appeared frequently in the entry of the franchise in question that would hypothetically come after but not before the third one. I have no idea what i’m talking about.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWLlAmWgDNg&list=PL6FE7047D2BA02547&index=19&feature=plpp_video

    Call me late, but i found this a while ago-excellent music

  531. That tumblr only has one song on it at the moment, ‘Sols. My personal tumblr is where I’ve been uploading to thus far, which is the same URL except without the word “music”.

  532. That explains everything except the excessive price of eggs.

  533. Dear Dupersude,

    ||: Fm7 | Bb7 | EbMaj7 | AbMaj7 | Dm7(b5) | G7 | Cm7 :||

    | Dm7(b5) | G7 | Cm7 | Fm7 | Bb7 | EbMaj7 | AbMaj7 | Dm7(b5) | G7 | Cm7 B-7 | Bbm7 Am7 | Ab7 | G7 | Cm7 ||

    Just interested to see what you do with that. (ie, I want to steal your techniques)

    Regards,

    Midget52

  534. dupersude says:

    FUCK EGGS.

    Dear Midgey,

    I will take some time to study that which you have just delivered me and report back.
    I feel warm and fuzzy inside knowing that someone of your calibre is interested in stealing my techniques <3

    Many thanks for what I perceive as compliment,

    dupersude

    P.S.
    Seriously, fuck eggs.

  535. The Video process will take alot longer than it should because my video recording device has not magically discerned what i want it to do.

    By the way, if anyone here has completed the 4118112181520851815154 did you get the 2023159149209120519. both are 913165189112 but different genders. if one of them dies, are they replaced by different 9149209120519? Because it would be cool to get different 6151212152351819 of that type.

    To prevent spoilers, i’ve encrypted the harmful words. it’s not complicated as i am terrible at it, but i’m trying to get better.

  536. The Madlib Version:

    1. Noun_____________
    2. Noun_____________
    3. Noun_____________
    4. Noun_____________
    5. NOUN_____________
    6. Verb_____________
    7. Verb______________
    8. Adjective_______________
    9. Verb_________________

    By the way, if anyone here has completed the 1.____________________ did you get the 2.___________________. both are 3.________________ but different genders. if one of them dies, are they replaced by different 4.___________________? Because it would be cool to get different 5.__________________ of that type.

    To 6._____________ spoilers, ive 7._______________ the harmful words. its not complicated as i am 8.____________ at it, but im 9._____________ to get better.

    HAVE FUN

  537. dupersude says:

    These attempts to prevent spoilers are getting hectic. And entertaining.
    I commend you for your efforts.

    *Just got the email of your second post right before posting this*
    Ohohohoho, well done sir. Well done indeed.

  538. 1. Noun___________
    2.Adjective____________
    3.Is “adoring” an adjective? not that it’s the intended word.

    So, i was playing what i’ve been playing since 11/11/11 and i was near 6112111851208 and i met 1.________ the 2________. I guess the whole 196+10-6_25511819 later thing wasn’t communicated throughout the whole group of individuals who were involved in the creation of probably the greatest piece of entertainment equipment since God created Eve for Adam.

    I hope and fear that i may find the 3._______ 6114

    The first person answer my above question and any other i ask will receive brownie points!…..and the knowlegde that you were the first to crack what has to be the most terribly easy encryption of all time!!!

    P.S.
    How do you spell knowledge? wait, what the fuck.

    • dupersude says:

      Major spoilers below because I can’t be fucked going through the effort to conceal them as well as ‘Sols did.
      So read no further than here.

      First of all, I assume you’re talking about M’aiq the liar? I ran into him too. He wasn’t just in oblivion, he was also in Morrowind and was probably around before that too. He’s been an ageless running-joke throughout several ES games. One of the things he says is “M’aiq’s father was also called M’aiq. As was M’aiq’s father’s father. At least, that’s what his father said.” so that explains that.
      And second, Adoring Fan won’t be in it. Though there is a book somewhere that details the Champion of the Arena was assassinated by a bright-haired wood elf who followed him around pretending to be an… Adoring Fan…

  539. dupersude says:

    Huh, looking back, they weren’t major at all.
    Just easter eggs. Absolutely no relevance to anything in the plot or any new features. In fact one is tradition and the other is only a reference to a past game…
    Why the hell did I say major spoilers?

  540. Because deep down inside you truly 4151420792251198920…

    Yeah, as it turns out i found that journal just after i posted it which made me feel stupid. I didn’t know that 131917 was a running joke in 20519 games though.

  541. Oh and Deez Nuts i know you’re there, lurking in the shadows.
    COME OUT OR I’LL FUCKING BURN DOWN EVERY BUILDING IN THIS FORUM OR BLOG THING WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS!
    SHOW ME YOU FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I should have asked this first, who wants to be the good cop?

  542. dupersude says:

    Who is that Deez Nuts guy anyway?
    Seems like a real prick.

  543. dupersude says:

    Oh, also, Congratulations Arreh!

  544. Yay my name was mentioned.

    Just got a new suit and shoes and I will be all sharp and charming at the interview and smile at them and they will be like stop smiling and do the problems we have given you.

  545. dupersude says:

    There was a story about an interview on NotMyDesk that I was going to link to, but I can’t seem to find it right now.

    I.E., I had a once over of the archive, didn’t recognise any links of it, and am too lazy to look further.

  546. I don’t rightly know to be honest. i just wanted someone other than you to talk to. not that you are in any way shape or form inadequate or uninteresting. I mean, think about what kind of person would be game enough-or lame enough to use a name like “Dupersude”, i’ll tell ya what kind…an interesting one.

    It’s just that since Skyrim came out…things have gotten increasingly dark-in a communications kind of way.

    I get worried sometimes is all

    At least in the event that L.I.O shuts down, there is always the Hiatus Crew website.

  547. dupersude says:

    You’re digging a hole, boy. A very deep one. Tread carefully or you may very well have nobody to talk to.
    The username came into play when I was fourteen years old, back in the day when I was young and anonymous on the internet. Before myspace or facebook or even Bebo. When nothing mattered. T’was a glorious time.
    Eventually I started to register for other things beside Habbo Hotel (which is what I started using it for), mostly other online games etc.
    Eventually when social websites came out, like bebo, I used it for that… and it just kind of stuck. I’ve never really had anything else to use.
    I guess it has some pros, it IS original, nothing I’ve ever tried registering for has ever said “this username is taken”, and it’s pretty damn recognizable. But it is rather lame, and for a while now I’ve been trying to think of a new one to migrate to.
    The best I’ve come up with is colourchromatic, but I’m not sure I want to switch over to that. I want something to do with my real name, some kind of nickname. Friends call me Aids, but I can’t exactly make that my username… Don’t want people thinking I have HIV lol.

  548. Guys I miss my girlfriend and she is so far away and LDRs suck a bit and I wish life had a fast travel option. Maybe in the next patch or something.

  549. What’s OG, BBoP?

    LDR’s do suck, Arreh. How long ’til you see her again?
    I remember when I had to go into an LDR…
    … We do not speak of those days.

    Also, life is like a bethesda game.
    There hasn’t been a patch in about 13 and a half billion years.

  550. OG= original gangsta. Means you’ve been around a while.

  551. I’ll get to see her again on about the 20th Dec, I think. But I’m 18 and full of want. It’s much too long.

    And BBoP, you’re practically OG. I would say an Honourary OG. A HOG, if you will.

    hehehehehehehe

  552. Ahh I see. I’m not as OG as others though. I only came upon the crew around 4 to 6 months after it’s creation.
    Still, it DID form around three years ago… So…

    Ahh Arreh. I know how it is… I remember the relationship I had when I was eighteen.
    It wasn’t exactly long distance, but… Well, let’s just say her parents didn’t make it easy on us.

  553. Even I remember that, dupersude.

    I mean, who wouldn’t?

  554. dupersude says:

    Wait, you remember your relationship from 18, or mine?
    I suppose those who wouldn’t are the ones who never heard of it, eh?

  555. I’m not allowed to tell her this kind of thing any more, so I will tell you guys. I’ma punch him inna face.

    And I think we all remember yours, dupe.

  556. Yours, Aids. All those stories…

  557. dupersude says:

    Square him in the jaw for me, Arreh! I have no idea who he is but i have a vague idea of what he is doing.

    And awww dammit! Everyone remembers that?
    Oh well…
    Michael, the stories were tragic, weren’t they?
    Come to think of it if I put that into a book I could end up with a heart wrenching monstrosity that even Nicholas Sparks wouldn’t be able to read for fear of drowning in his own tears…

  558. dupersude says:

    I know, midgey. This long and we STILL haven’t become blood brothers. What is this?

  559. dupersude says:

    Mixed? Really???
    What sort of ratio? That sounds interesting, I may have to try it. What’s it taste like?
    I was meant to get drunk on a bottle of scotch with a group of friends tonight.
    Somehow I’ve ended up home alone on my laptop again.

  560. Some of them tragic, some of them awesome.

    Not sure if you want me to post here which ones I particularly like, to save your privacy, so I’ll call them ”The Journey” and ”Hiding under planks with a mattress on top”.

  561. My favourite has always been “The Little Snake that Couldn’t”.

  562. I laughed, Arreh.

    Tell me more. In private.

  563. dupersude says:

    Michael, I appreciate the concern for my privacy. The Journey was a particularly epic tale, but the second one did not involve hiding “under” planks.
    Arreh, Fuck you. <3

  564. No problem, dupersude. I’m sure you’d do the same to me.

    But you were hiding pretty much under them, right? It was something like that, anyway…

  565. dupersude says:

    Of course, brother.
    And it was underneath a bed, on hard wooden flooring. Close enough.

  566. You two have such an excellent rapport. If you get married I will comment on your wedding blog, or whatever the done thing is in these situations.

  567. Uh, oh! You said the privacy-invading word!

    Planks with a mattress on it was supposed to be a bed…

    Arreh, who? Me and dupersude? It’s not like I want to marry him, or anything… Don’t get any ideas.

  568. dupersude says:

    Ohhh right. Silly me. I thought you meant literally hiding under floorboards, covered by a mattress lolol.

  569. and…

  570. dupersude says:

    And what?

  571. and…

  572. then…

  573. what is that

  574. what is this

  575. dupersude says:

    If you’re asking for the full version of my tales…

    .. No.

  576. Wham

  577. Did it work?

  578. How about now?

  579. Drum roll please.

  580. And what do ya know?

  581. I did it?

  582. dupersude says:

    You cannot break the comments with bold.
    We’ve already tried.

  583. I can confirm this.

    Oh dupe, you and your tales.

  584. dupersude says:

    My tales are ones so tragic that if Nicholas Sparks read them in story-form, he would ball his eyes out and quit his job as a romance author.

  585. dupersude says:

    I have probably already made that comparison, but I am drunk and my face is numb so FUCK YOU BECAUSE JUST FUCK YOU.

  586. It also seems as though you can’t break italics with italics.

    I think if i can figure out what G did, i can undo it. I need to go deeper…

  587. No, ‘Sols. You can’t.
    We, the Crew, know what G did. We do it on every new post. We’ve already messed around with it a lot. We are the HIATUS CREW, after all, we DO have a lot of spare time on our hands.

  588. Yes, ‘Sude. I can.

    All i need is time and i’m confident i can figure it out. If what you say is true, then i would be satisfied knowing that i did it, whether or not it sticks is irrelevant. It’s the meaning it would carry that matters.

  589. Did i make my intentions known?

  590. Maybe i’m using the wrong…

  591. …method?

  592. And what about now? hmm?

  593. If you’re going to sit there and ignore what I’m saying, and continue to fail, at least do so on one of the other posts. Instead of flooding this one, and my inbox.

  594. Look, at least I had the decency to try it out on an old post back when I was experimenting.

    LoP, you’re just annoying. Go away.

  595. Yeah, I agree… It’s not very nice.

  596. Ohhhh snap! That was cold… like… Ice burn! oooooh!

  597. Hello.

    Just in case you guys haven’t heard, Chris L has started a Skyrim Nondrick-y thing.

    Carry on.