Nondrick's Non-adventure

Day Two: Taking a Dive

(Note: From here on, some pictures are clickable for larger versions.)

Time to start Day Two, and I start it by stealing stuff. I don’t loot the entire hotel room, but I do help myself to the folded cloth on the dresser.


Look, it’s a hotel. They expect you to take the folded cloth. I also snag a sweet roll off a table in the hallway before heading downstairs to the somewhat crowded lobby. I’m still a little peeved at the cost of the room and I’m determined to make up for it.

It’s cloudy and partly drizzly when I leave the hotel and head for the docks to begin what will hopefully be a more lucrative line of work: diving for pearls.

Anvil Docks

Now, I’m no Argonian, but I should be able to swim well enough to collect my weight in pearls, and Cyrodiil is known for its high percentage of pearl-bearing clams. I head out past the lighthouse, carefully navigate down the cliffs to the ocean, and stroll into the surf.

And, after paddling around in the water for a couple hours, it becomes apparent that there are no clams in the waters of Anvil. I don’t find Clam One. There’s nothin’ but rocks and sand and water. There aren’t even any slaughterfish!

I hate this freakin’ town. As I glumy crawl out of the water, while it’s still freakin’ raining, no less, I run into some of Anvil’s surlier natives.

A mudcrab! And two more close by. Well, luckily, I’m feeling good and stabby. This rusty old dagger isn’t ornamental! I dodge in and out of range, slashing and slicing away with my trusted dagger that I’ve never used before. Moments later, it’s over.

dead crabs against rainy sky

Who’s ya daddy? That’s right, Ugly Clown-Face Trout-Lipped Guy’s ya daddy!

crab lock

Well, that’s weird. I plunder the crab for their presumably delicious meat, and one crab has a little surprise in it. Which raises the question: exactly who was trying to pick a crab? And why?

I soon find another Nirnroot, but no clams or other ingredients. I even find another of those weird stone formations, but no pickable herbs around it. It’s already lunchtime and all I’ve collected is 3 gold pieces worth of crab meat. And it’s still raining! Is this Anvil or Seattle? I grouchily eat my stolen sweet roll and an apple for lunch, and decide I could use a pick-me-up. I head over to the lighthouse to see if I can reach the top and maybe — despite the lousy weather — see the distant spire of Imperial City’s White Gold Tower. Maybe that’ll inspire me.

Anvil Lighthouse View

I have a chat with Ulfgar Fog-Eye, the lighthouse keeper, who seems to be making a damn comfortable living by lighting a fire once a day. Nice digs, and he doesn’t seem to mind that I just walked into his house and started nosing around in his stuff. Too bad he doesn’t need an assistant; it’d be nice to earn enough money to buy a sword or maybe some sleeves. I climb the steps to the top of the lighthouse and, while I have a nice view of Anvil, I can’t see the Tower in the distance. It’s just too darn overcast.

Astoundingly, the day is about over. I head into The Flowing Bowl, and buy a loaf of bread and a wheel of cheese (4gp total) from Maenlorn, who I notice is selling my wolf pelt for 18 gp. I sold it to him for 5. Nice mark-up, jerk.

Out of curiosity, I wander into the local Magic-Mart, or as they prefer to call it, the Mage’s Guild. I’m curious to see how much a mortar and pestle costs — I could use one to combine ingredients and make potions, which often fetch a higher price than their raw components. They’re going for 43 gp here… and I only have 38 gold anyway. Plus, I don’t have any ingredients besides crab. So, a pointless exercise.

Glum, I head back to the Count’s Arms hotel, and rent a room for the night. Minus that 25 gold, I’m now down to 9. Nine friggin’gold pieces. I got here with 17, so I’m now officially operating at a loss.

When I get to the room it hasn’t even been restocked with food! The plates are empty! And no fresh folded cloth! That tears it. I’m done with Anvil. Screw this lousy burg! Tomorrow, I’m getting up early and hitting the road.


  1. Captain Bassoon says:

    Aww. I did enjoy your valiant battle against teh crab warriors! Surely that’s something you can look back on with pride?

  2. Onward! To… decent life? A job?

  3. Near Elite says:

    And it’s STILL raining.

  4. this has to be one of my favourite lines I’ve ever read.
    now every time I play and see a folded cloth:
    “Look, it’s a hotel. They expect you to take the folded cloth” pops into my head and I just can’t get it out


  6. Aw. I was expecting a crab-battle joke.

  7. Hehehheh! You pay more than once for the same stay? I find that they won’t charge you more than once, unless you sleep somewhere else in-between stays at the same place. (But then that may be a mod’s doing.)

  8. This chapter raises a good question: who the hell picks crabs? Why?! Perhaps this will get answered later on.

  9. This guy’s dedication is so beautiful.

  10. ArgonianLover says:

    Picking a crab?I killed a wolf with a lockpick up its butt once.You could see it!Cloths in an inn,ready to be tooken,already folded.Sigh.

  11. ArgonianLover says:

    I started out in Anvil too,but I gotta save the world……Well,I ain’t doin’ that!No way!

    P.S. My character is a night black Khjiit that is an Assassin NPC.The Dark Brotherhood is filled with them,so I fit right in!


  12. Aaron J. Davis says:

    Those mudcrabs will eat ANYTHING, I swear.