Nondrick's Non-adventure

The Alchemist’s Code

When last we left Nondrick, roughly eighteen years ago, he was faced with a moral dilemma. Stealing a Shepard’s Pie from someone’s home to cure his wolf-born infections (Witbane and Helljoint) was weighing heavily on his soft mind — was it the wrong thing to do? Was it in keeping with his NPC nature? With his back against the wall, would Nondrick fill his pockets with stolen goods?

In a moment of desperation I’d mixed up the ill-gotten curative and stood there, bottle to my lips, debating, worrying, and trying to remember the Alchemist’s Code. What I eventually remembered was that I’d never actually invented an Alchemists Code. So, I invented one.

What I can find is mine. What I can’t find, I can buy. But stealing is kind of a dick move.

Okay, it’s not the most eloquent code ever written. But stealing, along with fighting, adventuring, romance, and writing eloquent codes, just isn’t Nondrick’s thing . I decided, eventually, to leave the potion in the house I’d broken into, along with a trinket or two to make up for ruining someone’s dinner. With that, I trudged out into the night on aching, infected joints, to find where I’d parked my horse a year ago and to continue searching for a cure that wouldn’t involve stealing a baked lamb entree from a stranger’s dinner table.

Of course, this being Oblivion, when the game closes a door it opens a window. Unfortunately, opening a window in Oblivion is a dangerous prospect, because sometimes an enraged pigs rushes through it and tries to kill you. Today, as I travel north atop my faithful horse, Beaker, boars finally make their appearance in the game.

Boars are actually pretty tough: they’re fast, durable, and challenging for any character who hasn’t leveled up properly, and Nondrick’s improved speechcraft and mercantile skills, which certainly help with his career, haven’t left him particularly capable of dealing with boars easily.

Killing a boar requires a lot of blocking, back-pedaling, and just plain running away, while making the occasional swipe with a sword or blast with a fireball. The first boar I encounter drops me quickly to about one-quarter health before I’ve even done him much damage. I heal quickly with my Mara’s Gift spell, then find myself battered down to half-health again before I finally send the little piggy to market.

While I’m carving up the boar, a Timber Wolf leaps snarling out of the woods. I blast the animal with my frost spell and hack him down to size, hoping he doesn’t infect me with yet another disease. My health is now worryingly low, and I don’t have much in the way of curatives. I use my Heal Major Wounds spell, but since I’ve never built up my magic abilities, I can only use it once or twice before running out of gas.

As soon as I’m back on Beaker, I spot a fellow traveler heading my way. He sees me as well, and thrusts a fist skyward. I’m hoping he’s waving hello, but no, he’s casting a spell: a scamp spawns beside him and attacks me. Ignoring the conjured beast, I chase the spellcaster around, trying to smack him with my sword. Cripes, can’t these stupid animals and evil wizards just fight amongst themselves and leave me out of it?

A retarded little parade ensues. The conjurer can run backwards as fast as I can run forward, so it’s a futile chase for a while as I follow him around. Meanwhile, his scamp is chasing me, so the three of us make circles all over the road and through the grass, nobody gaining on anyone. Finally, the warlock runs back-first into a boulder. Pinning him against the rock, I hack away at him while his scamp repeatedly sets me on fire.

Eventually, he folds and his scamp vanishes.

Back on Beaker, I proceed slowly up the trail, gathering ingredients from horseback (somehow). With the city of Bravil in my sights, I spot a plant with large leaves by the base of a tree. My keen eye for plant life tells me this is Mandrake. Wait a second. Wait a second!

I slide off Beaker and yank the Mandrake roots out of the ground. I check the properties in my well-thumbed copy of Mushing Up Plants For Fun And Profit.

There it is. The Cure Disease property! I mix the Mandrake Root with the remaining sample of Elf Cup Cap that has been gently decomposing in my pocket for days. Bam! One Cure Disease potion. I chug-a-lug and check the active effects — all traces of the disease are gone. Hurray! I have rid myself of wolf-cooties!

Wow. I’d sunk pretty low there for a while, but finally managed to complete my personal quest, ridding my body of unwanted canine pathogens. Nondrick was once again complete, and could walk triumphantly into Bravil. Or, if not “triumphantly,” then at least proudly. Well, “proudly” may be overstating it. How about, “not crawling with diseased ticks.”

Yeah, that’ll do.


  1. Holy fucking shit!

    • Great Scott says:

      Don’t get too excited, it will be another year before we ever see another update.

      • neon_toaster says:

        Hopefully Nondrick will return soon. :( If not just for his final episode where he returns to his love from the beginning chapters to live happily ever after.

  2. “When last we left Nondrick, roughly eighteen years ago..”

    So true, I’m glad to see this back. Keep it up, Chris!

  3. 18 Years sounds about right. Hurrah for the return of Nondrick!

  4. YAHOO!!!
    Nondrick is back and kicking!!
    That’s awesome.

  5. What’s a nice Craig like you doing in a comment thread like this?

  6. Yay!

  7. Oh my god….

    I dont know what to say….

    Am I dreaming?

  8. Lol, I just started reading this the other day and its got its first update in ages just now! Awesome!

  9. Oh. My. God. Thank you so so much, Chris!!!

  10. Ha! See, good things come to those who wait. And to those who don’t steal, apparently.

    Yay, Nondrick!

  11. Demon Beaver says:

    I’m glad you and Nondrick are back!! I’m looking forward to much more of the tale!

  12. Adoring Fan says:

    Oh no, don’t make me pick up Oblivion again. Last time you updated I lost around 50 hours of my life.

  13. Oh my god Nondrick is back! Thank god!

  14. I reckon that for Nondrick “not crawling with diseased ticks” *is* a proud triumph :D!

    Great to see another post… Thanks!

  15. Huzzah! Nondrick’s return!

  16. Holy crap, a Nondrick post!!! That was a pleasant surprise :)

  17. I’m just amazed you’ve had the strength of will to return to this insane project. Still good to read anyhow!

  18. Hooray!
    However, one thing:
    “…a baked lamb entree…”
    I’m not sure if you exactly know what shepard’s pie is made of…

    • Well, I don’t know about entree, but it’s certainly made of lamb, and they’re usually baked (at least eventually) so that the mashed potato gets a nice brown crust.

      If of course you’re thinking it should be made of beef, then you’re undoubtedly making the classic mistake – that’s COTTAGE pie. Shepherds look after sheep. Cottagers (used to) look after cows.


  20. Rejoice everyone!

  21. i check this every single day, without failure. finally my patience is rewarded.

  22. YESSSS!

  23. Omg, when I saw this update on Nonny I literally fell out of my chair in disbelief!!!! NONDRICK LIVES AGAIN! :]

  24. I bet James linking this blog made you decide to start it up again huh?

  25. This is not April – treachery!

    But srsly – thank you, Chris! A new comments section is always appreciated.

    In actual seriousness; this is great! Moar Nondrick!

    Thank Goat, etc etc.

  26. Hooray! I knew it was a smart idea to stat subscribed :)

  27. Remember when I asked you (on behalf of the Internet) at the Game Developers Conference last year when you would update this thing? Man, I had forgotten all about that!

    Well, I guess I’d better go back to sleep until next year.

  28. yessss

  29. I’m so glad Nondrick is back! I hope he stays with us for a post or two more before the next eighteen year hibernation.

    How funny, I just started playing Oblivion again too. Clearly it is in the stars for people to randomly play it again.

  30. Paul Moloney says:

    Glad to see good old Nondrick back….


  31. Yay!!!! Nondrick P. C. is back!!! Thanks Chris!

  32. Yay Nondrick is back. Are we to expect more updates soon?

  33. I seriously had to do a double-take when I saw this show up in my rss aggregator. Viva Nondrick! See you in 9 months for the next update!

  34. Whoa. No way.

  35. Wow. It’s seriously been over a year since the last actual update. Kind of early for that April update though. Maybe we will see an update in April.

  36. I’m commenting on here to say hi before reading the actual blog. Is this bad?


  38. SimonSayzHigh says:

    Yay another good episode about the ugliest alchemist in the world!


  40. Pure win.

  41. anonymouse says:

    hooray, you’re back!

  42. YES! I’d like to tell you not to leave us like that again, but I’ve been reading your stuff for long enough to know better…

    But this was great!

  43. Hells and also YES. This is one of the finer LP’s I’ve laid eyes on, and seeing that it’s resumed is like seeing that the Beatles have resumed their nerdy LP series.

    Only it’s not the Beatles, it’s you, and this series is awesome.

  44. YAAAAYYY! Nonny is back!


    I<3U CHRIS!!!!!

    that's not creepy at all. I swear.

  46. Nice to see an update.

    Though one nitpick: When you said “gently decomposing in my pocket for days”, I think you meant “decades”.

  47. I know everyone was posting on the last post, but since the update not much of the crew have been on this comments section.







    Also, the post itself was awesome, and refreshing. It made me remember the good ol’ days, which may be coming back yet!

  50. Yeah, well, im happy about the blog being updated and all, but what the fuck am I gonna do with all these babys?

  51. Haha, what a coincidence!
    I stumbled (“stumbled” with a lower-case “s”, mind you) upon this blog a few days ago, and was pretty upset when I saw there were no updates… and now there is one, hooray!

  52. Holy shit, there’s an update.:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  53. By my calculations that makes an internet year roughly 22 earth days long :P

  54. Thanks for linking to this from FPS. And by “thanks” I mean you’re an asshole, Chris. I literally just wasted a full day of work reading the entirety of this blog, but it was fan-fucking-tastic! Sort of made me want to go an play Oblivion again, but reading about a fish faced dork once a year will probably suffice. My personal favorite parts:

    – Your depression after the first couple of days when you actually LOST money.
    – “Clever girl!”
    – Woman Gone Wild (“These shady oil painters travel around the coasts of Cyrodiil, getting young, mead-filled maidens to spend a few hours undoing the complicated ties and straps of their undergarments, and then painting portraits of them in the buff.”)
    – Almost getting killed by Beaker
    – Your battle with the Nord on the boat (“My kingdom for a Backburner!”)

    Keep up the great work!

  55. Rise and shine, Mr. Chriistopher C.Livingston. Rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No-one is more deserving of a rest. And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until… well, let’s just say your hour has come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mr. Livingston. Wake up and smell the ashes.

  56. That was awesome G. Like the time I made that Dark Knight parody quote over on Nondrick Update… Ahhh good times.


  58. O_o all i did was switch the freeman to livingston, although most of the text seemed rather fitting anyways.

  59. lulwut.

  60. Is it just my eyes playing tricks or there’s something different about the world textures? It looks kind of sharper compared to the last update. I SMELL MODS!

  61. You know your blog is popular when it has more than sixty comments on the first post after a ten-month hiatus.

  62. and thats only within 27 hours… i think

  63. But… but with regular updates, how will we regulars (yes I count myself as one now) establish new meaningless and esoteric traditions?

    Maybe with regular updates, we won’t need to. We… we could be free.

  64. freinds, some of you may or may not remember me, as i gave up hope and fled the parched earth that was this blog, now i am back from my travels of the internet, and found a newly fertile medow in its place!

    Long live Nonny!

  65. This is pleasing to my eye.

  66. Holy shit it’s washcloth it’s a ho- wait how do i know your not a fake washcloth…

  67. You are FUCKING kidding. I go away for TWO days and he goes and does this? Figures

    Oh, awesome post, by the way! Thanks so very incredibly much!

  68. Let us feast on many babies! And hope to GOAT that Nondrick finds something else to do!

  69. . . . I am dreaming. This is all some really weird dream where impossible things happen.

  70. Chris, consider turning this whole “Living in Oblivion” story into a printed product someday. If you do, I’ll buy it. Of course, there may be some copyright issues to deal with. Darn it.

  71. YAY! the whole crew is almost back together! Cept for whositsface and whatshisname.

    Also, who is dupersude mk2?

    And go Smash with the baby stockpile. And the book is a great idea. Almost sounds as awesome as “John dies at the end”

  72. Of corse im the real Washcloth!
    why would anyone else want washcloth for a name!

  73. Who WOULDNT want Washcloth as a name??
    And I wanna know the same thing, King.

  74. Maybe it’s an upgraded version of Midget. One without all the voices.

    But those voices made Midget52 the midget he is today, and I would have him no different.

  75. are you talking about my twin there, Arreh?

  76. Hehehe.

    I like how were like 70 comments in and already talking about pretty much random shit again.

    Well, I guess we will get the next update next year some time.


    WASHCLOTH! Is it really you, mate? Bah, I believe you, seeing as most of the newbies don’t even know who you are. Still, you here to stay? ‘Cause that’d be awesome. You should also join the Hiatus Crew group on MSN.

  78. Okay, so who are we missing? I’m too lazy to check

  79. Quite a few people. I suspect they’re just waiting for the hype on the new post to die down first.

  80. Indeed. Right now, we’re missing:

    Green Lantern

    I just spoke with Michael on MSN, he should be in any minute now.

    • Jackrabbit says:

      Dude, forget me. I’m dead and gone. Every time I post a comment here or anywhere else that has a remote connection to Chris, I have an irresistible urge to apologize for whatever mild annoyance I may have caused him. Let me deal with this destructive mental issue in peace.

      Also I left the Crew like three months ago.

  81. I’m here, reporting for duty! Also yay nonny etc

  82. Michael! Thank god you’re here! We have a dilemma! Everybody reading this post just lost the game!

  83. Goddamn you, dupersude!

  84. ARGHHHH!

  85. :D I love you guys <3

  86. So, what do now?

    Tell you what, I need another update!

  87. Agreed. I guess we just go back to hurling babies off a bridge every day we don’t get an update… Wonder if it’ll be a regular thing now, or if he just wanted to wrap up the whole “personal quest” thing before ignoring us for good…

  88. Didn’y Jackrabbit leave us and sa e has nothing to do with us anymore?

  89. He’s back! Thank you, Mr. Livingston! *cue gleeful excitement*

  90. Goddammit, now I’m going to start playing Oblivion AGAIN.

  91. Word. Wordwordwordword. Nondrick. Word.

  92. If you will excuse me, I have to dance naked in the street with delight.

  93. Well, this comment section is filling nicely.

  94. So, whaddya think, are we gonna get to a thousand comments this time again?

    I hope not.

  95. I’m ambivalent about the whole thing. On the one hand more Nondrick! (It still feels weird to say it.) On the other hand, this could very well destroy the Hiatus Crew. Apparently our very aim may be our downfall. Oh sweet dramatic irony!

  96. I’ve always liked that about the hiatus crew. Their very survival depends on the events that they worship not coming to pass.

    Probably poetic beauty in there somewhere.

  97. Hey, Joeman! You’re here! That’s one guy off our MIA list, I suppose…

  98. I think it’s okay, it’ll be another millennium before Chris updates this again

  99. another 18 years*

  100. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    Now, I announce myself Supreme Chancellor of the Hiatus Republic!


  101. Will I be the Vice Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic?

  102. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:


    Join me, and we will rule the galaxy as Father and Son!

  103. Sweet! I’ve always wanted to do that!

  104. May I be The Interpreter of the Goat’s Wisdom? Because that title sounds awesome.

  105. Whoo! An update! Awesome!

  106. YYAAAAYYYY You’re back! You’re back! You’re back you’re back you’re back! Well done to Nonny for doing the right thing. Also: Hope you update more often now. I really love this series and don’t want to see it disappear…


  107. And I suppose I can be just about every other position in the court. As soon as I find that list of personalities…

  108. OH SHI-


  110. I tried to look at this last night, but WordPress was broken probably due to peoples shock at there being an update!

    Anyway, whilst it wasn’t as long as previous updates, it was still good.
    I hope this means you will post some more updates soon, without another hibernation period.

  111. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I declare myself to be the Hiatus Crew’s Ministry of Love. Not the head, or director; the whole thing.

    If any of you don’t get the reference, then son I am disappoint.

  112. You’re livin’ in the passssst Arreh. Quit livin’ in the passsssst.
    And by past I mean, 21 years ago.
    Also, the first line of my comment is also a reference.

  113. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    1984, Arreh?

  114. It’s nice to see THC is coming back, although there are some people mia.

  115. Woah my math is horrible. 25 years* not 21.

  116. Hooray for Nondrick!

  117. Woooooo!

  118. I’m not sure what to make of this. I started playing oblivion again today after about a 5 month hiatus and it made me think “hmmm wonder if nondrick has updated” and holy shit it has, that’s amazing!!!

  119. At this rate, I will die before Nondrick

  120. It pisses me off that I was playing oblivion the night before my computer broke, and now hehas an update. IRONY SUCKS!

  121. Yeah. Goldy and Bronzy are far better.

  122. Who?

  123. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    Your sense of humor seems to be broken, dupersude.

  124. Skafsgaard says:

    Holy brother’s mother!
    I can’t believe he’s back! Way to go Chris, and way to go Nondrick! :D
    Damn, I’m so psyched, I might actually write another poem (even though you damn near banned me, if that’s even possible, last time I did that.
    At least, I’m going to fire up my Oblivion game again, and play my Merchant character – believe it or not, there’s actually profit to be made, if you run with the market economy simulating mod ‘Living Economy’.
    Whoot! (:

  125. Jackrabbit says:

    I get the feeling Nondrick is going to go down hard if he doesn’t train up a bit. Perhaps you’re going to have to remain in the one city for a while Chris.

  126. Hey, it’s Jacknazi! He’s back, after all! This is getting better and better…

  127. WOW

    A triumphant return for the mundane hero.

    This is like what would happen if Terry Pratchett made up quests.

  128. California Wrestler says:

    I remember a couple months ago when living in oblivion first started its hiatus. It all began with me checking in daily with a face full of innocence and glee, just to be disapointed again and again with a lack of update. Just like a half retarted loyal golden retriever puppy, I kept coming back hoping to see something new. Eventually it was updated, with a post that said it will soon be updated. Even though no new content was given the news that Chris was still indeed alive kept my hopes up. Fast foward to the present day and my face full of glee and hope is replaced with a dark and vile look that if anyone was to look into my eyes their soul would feel pain. I was possitive Chris was not only dead but actually haunting the internet making sure no news of his death would surface and occasionaly updated first person shouter to fuck with my head. Imagine my absoulte disbelief when I saw it, Living in Oblivion updated. Great Googaly Moodgaly, was the first thought that went through my near zombiefied mind.
    Long story short thanks for coming back :D

  129. Woot! An update, a month and a half ahead of schedule! ^_^

  130. Fuck you guys are scaring me. I mean… at this rate, we will probably fill up the comments again in about…


    take away…12?

    carry the 1…

    divide by zero…

    4 days?

  131. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Of all the times this could have updated, the time when I’m between internet is chosen to update. Reading on a friends iPhone is not how I wanted to find out. Anyway, yay.

  132. No, KingFrozen! Don’t divide by ze-

  133. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Now that the universe has imploded and re-created itself, we may continue as before.

    I propose a one word at a time game. This will continue for a few posts until everyone realises it’s really shit.

    Here is word one:


  134. I counter propose that and say, hey putz. we now know why chris didn’t update before, he wanted to update when you weren’t there.

  135. i came

  136. Joey, Chief Antagonist. says:

    Well fuck me sideways and call me Nondrick…

    My internet literally commited suicide the day before yesterday… My one word: Schizophrenia.

  137. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    How would I go about fucking you sideways?

  138. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Very craftily.

  139. And with a spoon?

  140. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Most certainly.

    I would know – look at my title; you’ll see it’s my job to know.

  141. And it is my job to continue searching for a job!

    Hey, my job is done!

  142. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    Good job.

  143. I need a job. In real life. ;_;

  144. Don’t be sad, dupersude. You can become my personal sex slave!

  145. WOOOOOOOOOOO! Can i come too? (no pun intended, but it was kinda funny)


    You lost.

  147. BASTARD

  148. Grats, dupersude! Also, fuck you for making me lose the game! Oh wait…

  149. Joey, Chief Antagonist. says:

    Times are moving on, peoples.

  150. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    “Come gather ’round people, wherever you roam!
    And admit that the waters around you have grown,
    And accept it that soon you’ll be drenched to the bone.
    If your time to you is worth savin’
    Then you better start swimmin’
    or you’ll sink like a stone,
    For the times, they are a-changin!”

  151. The Green Lantern says:

    Well look at this.

    An update.

    Today’s forecast in hell.


  152. YAY! The Lantern of Green!

    The Inner Circle is almost complete. The time is nigh.

  153. Thanks michael! Interview went good, they’ll give me a call sometime within the week if i get it. Which i should. :D And now i lost the game! again.
    Also vader, that song is awesome.

  154. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    If I may just add one thing,
    That is all.

  155. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    Lantern my man! I would be surprised about seeing you here if I hadn’t talked to ya beforehand via email.

    Dupersude: I’m a Bob Dylan fan.

  156. The Green Lantern says:

    I’m still in shock. Give me a few more days before it can wear off.

  157. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    On an unrelated note;

    The Game.

  158. The Green Lantern says:

    Did I lose?

  159. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:


  160. We know the game and we’re gonna play it!

    – Rick Astley

  161. Oh god, this shit is fucking rad! OPEN YOUR EYES MAKE A WISH

  162. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I approve of this.

  163. Of course you do, that’s the best thing that’s happened 2010.

  164. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    England lost to Ireland. I may play this game again to console myself.

  165. I was pointed to this adventure only yesterday. Your great way of writing made reading this a breeze.

    I even feel more like an idiot for never having played Oblivion. Since being able to play it like this, totally not like it was intended, shows how rich the game world is.

  166. Damn, I’m disappointed in the Hawaii tsunami. That shit sucked!

  167. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    These tsunamis are nothing like the ones we had back in my day.

  168. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    Yeah. In your day, all tsunami’s would strike during May.

  169. I’ve had two tsunami warnings in the last year and a half at my city, both of which have turned out to be NOTHING MORE THAN A METRE SURGE TIDE.


    … I feel cheated.

  171. Midget52 says:

    A metre surge tide can make a difference depending on the speed and how far up river it can get. Can make a boat list pretty damn badly.

  172. Well where I’m from, the raise did nothing. Literally. Even people at the beaches who get flooded in ALL THE TIME were unchanged in routine.

  173. Michael says:

    Yo, Hawaii, I’m really happy for you and I’mma let you finish but, Thailand had one of the best tsunamis of all time! One of the best tsunamis of all time!

  174. …meow

  175. Michael says:


  176. The Green Lantern says:


  177. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    Best way to fix a Playstation is to throw it into the fiery chasm from whence it came.


  178. Midget52 says:

    If by PC, you mean XBox 360, then yes, PC FOR LIFE, MAH DOG!

  179. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    If by PC you mean PC, than yes, PC FOR LIFE, MAH DOG!

  180. Michael says:

    Open your eyes I see
    Your eyes are open
    Wear no disguise for me
    Come into the open

    When it’s cold outside
    Am I here in vain?
    Hold on to the night
    There will be no shame

    Always, I wanna be with you
    And make believe with you
    And live in harmony,
    harmony oh love

    Melting the ice for me
    Jump into the ocean
    Hold back the tide I see
    Your love in motion

    When it’s cold outside
    Am I here in vain?
    Hold on to the night
    There will be no shame

  181. What an odd film clip…

  182. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:


  183. Seen as Dupersude got dethroned here and didn’t get the first 100, i’ll aim fo – wait a minute he got 200, he didn’t even say his get message, ok i’ll aim for 300.

  184. Should we all agree not to post after the 4000th comment on nondrick update it’s getting riduclously long.

    P.S lets all try and get 4000 before Dupersude does. ;)

  185. Michael says:

    So, guys, what’s your records at Robot Unicorn Attack?
    In one run: 44.3k
    Total: 85k

  186. Vadermath, Supreme Chancellor of The Hiatus Republic says:

    Have any of ya seen all of the Portal 2 cryptic buzz going around the Web?!


  187. Heyo! Nondrick is all new and shiny! I bet his head can be spot from a mile now.

  188. Corporal Peanut says:

    Well, seeing as how it’s been seven posts without a song… Ahem,

    When I find myself
    in times of trouble
    Mother Mary comes to me
    speaking words of wisdom

    Let it be

    And in my hour of darkness
    she is standing right in front of me
    speaking words of wisdom

    Let it be

    And when the broken hearted people
    living in the world agree
    there will be an answer

    Let it be

    For tough they may be parted
    there is still a chance
    that they will see
    there will be an answer

    Let it be

    For some reason, I always connected it to the whole “No Nondrick” thing until now.

    Then again, maybe I’m just crazy(Well I AM a lurker, after all).

  189. Midget52 says:

    You may be right. But it just might be a lunatic we’re looking for.

    Thats right, I made a song reference! I know things too!

  190. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I don’t mind who gets the 4000 get. So long as NO ONE POSTS AFTER IT. NO ONE.

    Also; Portal stuff! Yay!

    Also, I’m not going for every 100 get on this post because i missed the first 100 get. I didn’t even realise i got 200 get. Which post was it??

  192. You got 200 while i was gone? awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww… :'(

    in unrelated news, when we do reach 4000 and no one is allowed to comment…

    where will we gooooo
    ohhh, where will we go now? where will we goooooooo-o-ohwowowoo?
    where will we go now?

  193. Man, I read this like a year ago and got to where it was left off and assumed it was finished. I randomly got linked back to it while searching for an image of a Dremora Lord and I find a post from two weeks ago. What fucking luck. Hail Nondrick!

  194. KingFrozen, ignoring your Guns’n’roses reference, we’ll go here of course.

  195. Your hopeless dupersude.

    Nice to see you nijabutter, you seem incredibly lucky. Like a leprechaun.

  196. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Suspiciously like a leprechaun, in fact.

    I just hope your kind can see eye to eye with my department – I can’t have you bringing joy and hope to the proles, y’hear?

  197. Midget52 says:

    Wow. We only started a government a week ago and we already have counterfeit joy.

    I call blackmarketeer!

  198. Ah, Midget. Blackmarketeer of hope and joy. Don’t you realise the stuff you get is only the stuff we allow you to get?

    You do our job for us. You cannot stop doing what we want – no matter what you choose to do, you do it because of our influence.

    So please, set up your little racket. We sit back and enjoy what we have created.

  199. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Seeing as we’re slapping each other with 1984 references, I changed my name accordingly.

  200. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    My weapon of choice happens to be 1984 references, but you can use whatever you want. Brave New World hasn’t really been touched, for example.

  201. Midget52 says:

    You cannot control our knowledge! Knowledge is power! The truth will set us free!

    I know at least one of them is a biblical reference, so I have so far made the oldest reference. Bring it on.

  202. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    “Holy shit!”

    -The Jews, after seeing Moses in action.

  203. Bobskid says:


  204. Corporal Peanut says:


    -Dr. Hax, after recieving his PHD

    I believe I have made the newest reference! Take that, Midget!

  205. Michael - Almost Head Minister Thing of the Department of the Destruction of Justin Bieber, And Other Such Disney Music Bands says:

    I feel so special now.

  206. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:



  207. Portal 2 was accidentally announced back in 2008 i think. Don’t get excited.

  208. Midget52 says:

    Cooperative Portal? I hope your model is the Companion Cube. That would make the most sense.

  209. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    In actually interesting immediate news, Just Cause 2 is out soon, very soon. FYI, the xbox and ps3 versions are much easier to control.

  210. Michael - Almost Head Minister Thing of the Department of the Destruction of Justin Bieber, And Other Such Disney Music Bands says:

    Portal 2 won’t be released until late October this year.

  211. Hmmm

  212. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    I know Portal 2 was announced last year, but we had absolutely no confirmed info about it.

  213. Michael A. Sinclair says:


    I came here to re-read the blog and found an update. Woohoo!

    Thanks, Chris! :)

  214. I just re-read parts of the previous comment sections first stages, and man! That shit was lulzworthy indeed!
    The reactions the one time commenters posted were fucking hilarious. You should all read it again.

  215. A fartboy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, “Gimme a shot of your finest whiskey”. The bartender takes off his glasses, looks at the fartboy directly in the anus, and vomits blood onto the decaying, wooden floor. Crickets can be heard in the distance as the fartboy cracks a smile. The universe explodes.

  216. Midget52 says:

    Gotta love surrealist humour.

    How about this: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?


  217. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    That joke amuses me.

  218. What does the scouter say about Midget’s Power level?

    IT’s, IT’s, OVER 9000!!!! Raghhhh *breaks scouter*

  219. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    That joke doesn’t.

  220. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Indeed. ‘Twas just plain retarded.


  222. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    In other news, is now the literal translation of win.

  223. Oh hey! It’s Pen Island, that AWEESOME NEW ONLINE GAME! come on guys, join and add me as a friend!

  224. Wait dammit i just checked to see if it still worked… It doesnt. Didnt that place lead to a shock site back in the day?

  225. Midget52 says:

    I thought it lead to an office supplies store. I could be wrong.

    In fact, from what you suggest, I could be VERY wrong.

  226. I remember a few years ago someone told me to go to Pen Island dot com, typing it out revealed the actual site to be penis land.

  227. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    That sounds awful. I wouldn’t want an island of pens, but a land of nothing but penises would be even worse.

    Oh the humanity.

  228. Well. What about ?


  229. Midget52 says:

    What’s so bad about “Who represents” ? Is this an injoke I missed in the twenty minutes that I looked away from the cameras I planted in your houses?

  230. yes, it was between when you were talking about penisland and some other shit….

    Why don’t you guys have a Gravitar?

  231. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Because I am much too awesome for that.

  232. NO YOU.

  233. Joey, Chief Antagonist. says:

    And now for something completely different.

    There we were, thick as thieves, frightened by shadows in the Autumn leaves.
    We wore stolen hearts, frightened souls, aided by lies among…

    Hey oh, where did we go?
    When do we lose our sight?
    And it’s a nice show the one we perform,
    performing it day and night

    See the lights upon my face, walking in circles with the human race
    And all the little people, they want to be free, but I can’t get there cause I’ve got you holding me back.

    Hey oh, where did we go?
    When do we lose our sight?
    And it’s a nice show the one we perform,
    performing it day and night.

    And we’d be free.

    I gave you all the Earth’s skies, but you gave me night.

    Let the lights sing again.

    There we were, thick as thieves, frightened by shadows in the Autumn leaves.
    Goodbye my sweet, goodbye, goodbye…

  234. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    One day I will read all of one of Joey’s posts. Today is not that day.

  235. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    God DAMN it Joey! I told you to not only never post song lyrics again (nobody can hear the music and you look like a spammer) but I also told you to rub the lotion on it’s skin or else it gets the hose again!

  236. Corporal Peanut says:

    Alas, poor Arreh, this was not your finest hour…

  237. Someone Else says:

    Yay, Nondrick and his stupid face are back! Now I’ll go back to keeping my hopes low for a new update!

  238. I agree completely and wholly with putz.

  239. Corporal Peanut says:


    Joey has done nothing wrong by posting the song, and, Mr. Putzingburg, you could always google the lyrics…

    But you knew that already, right?

    HOLD IT!

    It does not get the hose again… BECAUSE THE HOSE WAS STOLEN!

    Forgive me, I usually don’t erupt into Phoenix Wright-esque objections, it just happens!

  240. Midget52 says:

    The HOSE was stolen? This would be a good time for a convenient personality change!

  241. Midget34 says:

    Yes, it would, and lucky for you I lost the list, giving you a perfect Deus Ex Machina on all personalities.

    Right, let’s see…..

  242. Yes, please, hold the applause…

    It seems this hose has been stolen by one of us. It could be you, or you, or YOU, KEITH!

    (Your name probably isn’t Keith, but on the off chance it is, ha ha! Scared ya!)

  243. Um… Why are the midgets back? I swear that whole laser beam show at the pyramids of Egypt solved that problem. Or did you counter it with the ritual done during the vernal equinox?

  244. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Good to see a fellow MR fan.

  245. Joey, Chief Antagonist. says:

    Corporal Peanut, you shall make a fine ally.

  246. I think we need a new character to combat Corporal Peanut.

  247. Private Public says:

    LIKE ME!

  248. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    *shoves Private Public aside*

    You needn’t worry, innocents! I am now here to battle this criminal!

  249. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Vader, you have my sword.

  250. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    *Without letting anyone see, Putzy drags Private Public away into his dungeon whispering “Oh yes, this will do nicely”*

  251. G saw, and what he saw disturbed him greatly. Very greatly. *Rocks back and forth in the corner, muttering*

  252. Corporal Peanut says:

    Never thought I’d see that again…

  253. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    *strikes Arreh down with his own sword*

    I’ve always wanted to do that, incidentally.

  254. How pleasantly droll you are, Vadermath. So quick-witted. A master of juxtaposition.

  255. That last comment was way more cynical than I meant it to sound. Sorry about that.

  256. so… Midgets a cynic? And wouldn’t Vader use a lightsaber? Or Sabermath?

    fuck… i can’t believe i just made that connection…

  257. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    I would’ve used a lightsaber, but killing one with his own weapon is far more satisfying. Such is the way of the Sith.

    Nay, for such is the way of the Force!

  258. THE GAME!

  259. Ok, thats just getting annoying. I vote we crack out the Banpocalypse and nuke his ass with so much bannage it isn’t fucking funny.

  260. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    I would like to take this moment to point out that as Chairman Of The Society Of Awesome People, I am really awesome.

  261. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Invalid, seeing as I don’t see you wearing your title proudly.

  262. You can’t do that KingFrozen… I created you, I CAN DESTROY YOU TOO.

  263. Your his mother?

  264. I’m the father.

  265. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    No, duper.

    I, am your father!

    Cue dramatic death scene.

  267. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Vadermath: If I wore my various titles in my name, then my awesomeness would decrease slightly. I just can’t take that risk when I’m so close to infinity mega-fonzies.

  268. Your almost as cool as zoidberg then.

    Almost. not quite

  269. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Fonzie visited my department once.

  270. Hey now that there are so many of us gathered, i think it’s time to bring back the awesome wall. Which i will allocate points to people who are awesome.

  271. Midget52 says:

    Did I mention horrendously, ridiculously attractive you are today, G?

  272. Midget52 says:

    Damn. Nearly a year without a grammatical error or misspelling. Ah well.

  273. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    G, I would like to be excluded from this game you’re doing, as I have too much awesome already and I just might explode if that level changes at all.

  274. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Ah! You should add a 100 points to Putzy to start with, G.

    That’ll bring his total number of points to zilch.

  275. Midget52 says:

    Can I have a point too? Please?

  276. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Seeing as on my first post on this here site I revealed myself to be a cyber-pirate AND and cyber-ninja, I deserve at least a gajillion.

    Having said that, a man in my position does not beg for things he wants. He simply extracts them.

  277. From what I remember I was quite high on G’s awesome wall. Good times…

  278. Some basic Awesome wall, guranteed things that will get you points, or deducts points.
    posting something that is awesome = + depends on the level of awesome the thing you post is at.

    ~get’s you points
    100 get’s = +100 points
    1000 get’s = +250 points
    3000 get’s = +500points
    Kissing up, which is not to excessive and is just ok = +50 points
    reminiscing about good times = +50 points

    Over excessive kissing up = -100 points
    Bitching about your lw rank on awesome wall = – 200 points
    Thinking your to awesome for the game = resets score to 0.
    Gramatical errors = -50 points

    i might add more. Let the wall begin. After this.

  279. Also automatic +100 to everyone playing.

  280. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    On an unrelated note; The new Sherlock Holmes movie is bloody awesome.

  281. Corporal Peanut says:

    I’m back, baby!

    Wow, I missed all that? I am never going to Vegas again…

    Speaking of what I missed, I think I remember this Awesome Wall back when I was a nameless lurker. Good times…

  282. Midget52 says:

    Lukers are awesome. They are invisible, AND they can attack.

    Also, the lurkers on Starcraft are pretty cool.

  283. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    What if he wants to take up dancing?
    He can take up dancing. He can leave his friends behind. Because his friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance then they’re no friends of mine! S! A! F!-

  284. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    I’d like to add awesome points to Putzy for the Scrubs-safety-dance reference.

  285. I sure did get a lot of hundred gets, and a thousand get. Aiming for another thousand get soon G.
    Also, I must say you do look stunning today. Where DID you get your tie? It’s marvelous.
    And remember back when you guys thought Jackrabbit and I were the same guy? Good times…
    Also, for reference, I got the 3k get on nondrick update and 9 100 get’s after that. Just so you know. In case. And yeah.

  286. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    I kick arse in reminiscing old Hiatus shit, seeing as Midget(s), Michael, and I are the eldest Hiatus Crew members here! It seems Washcloth and Lantern have fallen back into hibernation.

    Remember when we threatened Chris with murdering babies in ridiculous ways? Remember when Max hurled a hundred of them off a bridge? Remember when I wrote the Hiatus Novel? Remember Putzy’s stories? Remember when we constantly pestered Chris for updates?

    Hell, Remember when we created the Hiatus Crew?

  287. I was around for the Novel, AND putzy’s stories. And we’ve always constantly pestered chris for updates. Still do.

  288. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    HA! But I was one of the very founders! It’s like comparing Washington and Obama.

  289. I smell a power-trip coming on… Hey Vader, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

  290. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Indeed it does! Let me shove it into your face!

  291. corp peanut + 50 for the awesome wall reference. not sure if your playing or not.

    Vadermath +50 points for sherlock holmes movie reference, i havn’t seen it so i dont know how awesome it is. lol.

    A scrubs reference! I likes
    Putzy +200 points

    Dupersude +50 points for the compliment and another + 50 for old times.. you have to get 100’s and thousand’s gets from now on, for it to be counted on the awesome wall.

    Vadermath + 300 points for reminiscing about good times ( you did 6)

    So the awesome wall thus far:

    Vadermath: +350
    Putzy: +200
    Dupersude: +100
    Corp. peanut: +50

  292. I’m going to disappear for a while so that I may mysteriously re-surface again to gain mysterious Awesome Wall Points! Also, yeah, I’m an oldie. Been lurking for what… like a year before my first comment. DO HO HO. Also helped Lantern with out site. Most comments on it too!

  293. Corporal Peanut says:

    Well, bye, Michal.

    Peanut Jesus! Michael leaving reminds me that I might get pulled back into service!

    I hope that doesn’t happen, the Almonds were tough enough the first time around!

  294. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Corporal Peanut, may I be the first to say WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?

  295. Corporal Peanut says:

    Well, back when I served in the Peanut Military, I fought against the Almonds.

    The Nut’s were a peaceful society, most conflicts having been resolved long ago.

    However, the resources soon began to run out, and the Nut’s desolved into bickering Nation States.

    The Peanut’s butter fuel, the Almonds salt, the Chestnut’s ethenol. But the worst case was the Cashews oil. The oil had begun to run dry long before the other’s, so they had barely enough to keep their Military supplied.

    They didn’t last long.

    The Almonds made the first move. Seemingly in the blink of an eye, the Cashews were conquered, with their entire civilization brought to it’s knees.

    The Chestnuts opted to conserver their resoureces and, rather than launch an attack, fortified their defenses with Guerilla Warfare being effective against the Almonds attempets to invade.

    With the Cashews defeated and the Chestnuts too foritified for a successful attack, the the Peanuts were soon in their sights.

    It was a mere two months before the initial Almond assault that I singed up to serve in the Peanut Armed Forces. I served as a ground trooper, assinged to the 102nd battalion after graduating from training. I still remember the first time I was called by my full name and rank: Private William Peanut Cooper.

    My squad leader was Sergeant- Major Peanut Jhonson. It’s rather ironic that the event that led to my premotion to Corporal was caused by Jhonson’s death. But that’s another story for another time.

    Those were some of the best- and worst- years of my life serving with my squadmates. I saw many die in the war. Now that it’s over, I look back on those days with a fondness I cannot express. It was one of the greatest achievment’s in my memory, and I’m proud to have been a part of it.

    What was the point of this again? Oh, right, to tell Putzy about the Great Nut War. I hope you have found this informative, or at least interesting.

  296. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    My Grandpappy served in the Great Nut War as a Captain, though he never talked about it.

    He served on the Macadamian front – the one that all the history books choose to forget. As they say, history is written by the victors.

    He said it used to mean something, to be a Macadamia. But now… after the atrocities committed – on both sides – the pivotal role played by the Macadamia Confederation is simply ignored.

    You wonder why there are so few left? It was their regiments who were sent in first, and out last. Theirs who had the greatest burden of guilt placed upon them. The choice only ever came down to eradicating the families of their enemies, or allowing the eradication of their own families back home. Remember that it was never as black and white as it is portrayed.

    They were some of the last of the true nuts. Sure, the Peanuts called themselves nuts, but it was well known they were simply seeds.

    The Almonds? Seeds. Cashews? Seeds. The Chestnuts? Even they’re only capsules.

    And it was the Macadamia nuts that were forced to suffer for it.

    Historians talk of the Peanuts’ brilliant natural defences, of the courage of their troops, of the nation’s ability militarise close to 100%, as if that was what brought about the beginning of the end for the Almond Empire.


    The Macadamia were willing to do whatever it took to save their battered nation. For too long had they been used and abused by those who looked down on them. So yes, they targeted civilians, and yes, they engineered bio- and chemical weapons, and yes, yes they used them mercilessly.

    But ask yourself this – do you really think the Peanut Winter Defensive would have been successful, or the Cashew uprisings would have worked, or the Chestnut incursions could ever have happened had the Macadamia not collapsed the Almonds from within?

    Remember the Macadamia Confederation as a warning, certainly, as a failed state going too far as it places its head on the executioner’s block, perhaps, but remember also the sacrifice they made so that you may live in a free world.

    Your people would rather forget the Macadamia, Corporal. But when you next tell of the Great Nut War, I beseech you – forget them not.

  297. The Green Lantern says:


  298. Corporal Peanut says:

    Arreh… I cannot atone for the lack of history of the Macadamian involvment. However, they were some of the finest soldiers I’d ever seen.

    I remember the Battle of Marathon, when the Macadamian artillery crippled the Almond offensive. Were it not for them, Marathon would have been lost.

    A battle that sticks out in my memory, however, is the assault on Red Mountain.

    Allow me to elaborate: A month ago, I had been promoted to Private First- Class. Under Sergeant- Major Jhonson, the 102nd battalion attacked one of the most powerful Almond Military/Research bases in their Empire.

    The attack, as well as the number of units for the fight, was concieved by Admiral Greynut. We were heavilly outnumbered, and Greynut knew it. Many believed he had been secretly working for the Almonds, or (at best) the still neutral Brazil Nuts.

    The attack confirmed tho former option. It was only because of the intervention of a the Macadamian 33rd battalions tanks that we were able to push through the bunkers guarding the rim of the Mountain.

    The fighting was fierce; Before the Macadamian’s showed up, we were pinned down and seperated between a hastily dug trench and a captured enemy bunker. Jhonson had ordered our soldiers with rockets to intercept the incoming Jeeps. When the smoke cleared, they were destroyed or useless, and we could take a quick breather before the next attempt to flush us out.

    Then, we saw the Macadamian’s Tanks: They opened fire on the incoming troops, destroying their offensive force. The brief shock wore off, and the Almond commander ordered rockets on the far side of the bunkers. At his order, the rocketeer’s opened fire, sending tanks off the ridge outright destroying them. One tank took a rocket to the gun barrel while it was firing, bringing the barrel to rest on our postition.

    When it fired it blew literally blew Jhonson in half, stopping our advance. In a coordinated attack, Almond infantry charged the trench, killing most of our officers and wounding the others.

    Ina desperate move, I took command and ordered the unmanned operational Macadaimian tanks and Almond Jeeps to be captured. With most of the officers dead, no one payed much attention to who was giving the orders, and soon they were relayed to the captured bunker, being that they were closer to the wreckage.

    They obeyed, and soon we had three Jeeps and one Tank. I had the Jeeps give the impression that we were running away while I and the remaining soldiers in the trench crammed into the Tank, which we had made to look like it was inoperational.

    Soon, the enemie sent scouts past the pinned down Macadamian infantry to check if we really had fled.

    After the scouts passed we sprung the tank to life, and, as stealthily as possible in a tank, got into flanking position. We first fired on the squad pinning down the Macadamians. After the enemies attention was fully on us, we sprung out of the tank, leaving only the driver and gunner.

    Caught by surprise and being attacked from two directions at once, the Almonds soon fell; the base of Red Mountain was ours.

    That is one battle that you’ll find in the history books, and the Macadamians are mentioned. While the Macadamians never got full credit for their victories, the were mentioned, if only in their minor battles.

    Speaking of the Macadamians, you said your Grandfather was a Captain?

  299. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    That’s right. Captain Arreh Macadamia. I was given his name, and I’m proud to have it.

    It may sound odd to you that it was my Grandfather who served, but as I’m sure you’re well aware, the Macadamia have a life span roughly three times the length of your own fine race – so it’s not unusual for a Macadamia to serve in the military for generations.

    Before the war he had earned his name as a great fighter during the Macadamia Land Reclamations – the period during which the Macadamia made their first real push to retake and reunite the lands that had been theirs for millennia.

    He specialised in lightning strikes into the occupied territories – get in, take the city, and hold it until the regulars marched in. He once held a small town, with only a handful of men, for over three months before the main army body could break through the Pine nut defence.

    Obviously the Great Nut War and the Almond Aggression put a stop to Macadamian territorial ambitions, and they realised too late that a different kind of warfare would be needed against such a mighty aggressor. The Macadamia Confederation was a powerful force, certainly, but it was small, and weakened by its decades of wars.

    My Grandfather was promptly promoted to Captain, and placed in the newly formed 21st Special Air Macadamia Service – or SAMS for short.

    Large (for the small Macadamia Confederation) swathes of newly reclaimed territory were snatched by a few Almond divisions, in just a few months.. This was the start of what the Macadamia refer to as the 6 Day Wars – 6 day bursts of furious fighting, followed by a “strategic withdrawal”. If you look at it on paper, it doesn’t look too bad – hundreds of thousands of Almond (or their Pine nut underlings) casualties, against only a few thousand Macadamia dead or wounded.

    However, what you must understand is that these dead enemies were mostly new, fresh-faced recruits, faced recruits, who were blown up, mown down and (of course) destroyed from the inside by the engineered Pine Plague.

    Not only that, but to get these results the Macadamia had abandoned almost all of their territories not deemed essential to military production. So far the Macadamia hadn’t entered negotiations with any other states. Too proud, I suppose.

    Needs must, though, and in what looked like the final days of the once mighty Macadamian Empire, an agreement was reached with the Peanuts – who knows how the war would have ended, had not these two forces allied?

    This can’t quite be considered a turning point in the war, but it is certainly an important factor – and relevant to our story, as for the first time Macadamia troops (officially) fought alongside the bulk of the Peanut army.

    If you fought in the 102nd battalion during the Spring counter-offensive, you may well have met him, or those directly under his command.

    Also, I hadn’t realised the Macadamia were directly mentioned in texts on the Red Mountain, so thank you. Although I suppose they barely deserve to be, considering the way they later used the research they found there. All the same, thank you.

  300. This comment section is going a little nuts, I think.

  301. Corporal Peanut says:

    Midget, was that pun intended?

    But, on to more important matters: If your talking about the Spring Offensive after the desruction of the Peanut Research Center Heliopolis, then I did meet your grandfather!

    Truthfully, I mainly heard his voice over a radio, but when we were aiding the Cashew Resistance a group of Macadamian SAMS bombed the Pine position and drew their attention for long enough to allow us to infiltrate the city and destroy their command post.

    When the planes landed, a Macadamian stepped out and introduced himself as Captain Arreh Macadamia. With their help, we were soon finished liberating several Cahsew cities in two weeks and we were able to regroup with a Peanut Naval Fleet on their way to assault an Almond base. It was then that the SAMS left to pursue the fleeing Almonds, but it would not be the last time we saw them…

    Soon, we overheard rumors that Admrial Greynut had led an attack on a neutral Brazil Nut port… while flying an Almond flag!

    Sure enough, the Fleet came across a skirmish between Pine Nut and Brazil Nut forces over a patch of forest. Thinking fast, the Captain, Joseph Peanut, asked the 102nd to intervene. We did so, and as soon as the Pine Nuts were defeated we asked the Brazil Nuts what was going on.

    Apparently, after Admiral Greynut attacked the port the Brazilian Goverment opted to respond in kind; The port was now partly under their control, but the Almonds had a slight strategic advantage in the form of the experimental weapons from Heliopolis! Admiral Greynut had smuggled weapons out of it before the Almonds “discovered” the project and attacked.

    With the Brazil Nuts facing a dilemma, it was decided to send a larger force and, if possible, appeal to the Macadamians to send aid. The Macadamians begrudgingly sent the 21st SAMS platoon.

    With the added support, we faced one of the most ferocious battles in my, and perhaps anyone there’s, career: We had to fight the JUGGERNAUT. The JUGGERNAUT was an experimental new tank being developed in Heliopolis. It was designed to be invincible from any attack, and the finished model would have no weaknesses.

    The only way we could win was by exploiting the unfinished versions main flaw: It had little to no anit-air defense.

    It was here that I saw your grandfathers unit’s skill. Nimbly they dodged through the storm of flak let loose from the anti-air guns positioned around the JUGGERNAUT. We moved in as a sort of luxury, being that our job was to neutralize the anti-air guns using our heavy artillery.

    We opened fire, destroying rows of soldiers and guns. With minor attention drawn to us, we charged the position, assaulting a superior force in an attempt to draw their fire. It worked and any flak gun that could aim down fired on us from the raised platform.

    Using buildings as cover, we dodged from alley to alley, sandbag to sandbag and trench to trench. Quickly, they forgot about the unmoving artillery.

    Big mistake.

    The tanks opened fire, catching the flaks off-guard while the SAMS moved in for the kill.

    At this point, the JUGGERNAUT tried to move, but it was built with power, not speed, in mind. The SAMS missles punctured the unfinished top,tearing through decks until they had opened up a big enough hole to take a shot at the core.

    The JUGGERNAUT made one final effort; It used the side engines to whip around and opened fire on any aircraft at the low altitude.

    Only two SAMS, assigned to take shots at the main hull, were caught in the ensuing hellstorm of lead, missles, fire and plasma from the JUGGERNAUTs main cannons. They were destroyed almost instantly, but when the JUGGERNAUT turned around it exposed it deepest gash, and the return fire from the SAMS smashed right into the core, disabling the JUGGERNAUT.

    And so Arreh, that is the story of my first encounter with your grandfather and the 21st SAMS platoon. I will never forget those days…

  302. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Ah, it’s a small world.

    You speak there of the SAMS’ skill in aviation – and it’s true that they were gifted pilots and plane crews. However, their skill in the air never matched, for instance, the elite Pine Light Flying Corps. No, their skill lay in their ability to be dropped deep behind enemy lines, and to survive there through a mixture of extreme localised combat skill and sheer rugged determination.

    It’s rumoured that the SAMS were the unit dropped to set off the dirty bomb by the main Almond Inner Citadel. They were dropped a hundred miles away from the place, in uncharacteristically strong Autumn storms. The terrain was treacherous, and numerous Almond patrols went missing in their vicinity – suggesting, at least, that they encountered significant resistance.

    However, they were some of the best fire-teams seen in the war, and they made it right up to the Citadel’s outer ring of fortresses. In the dark of the night, they will have crept up to the fortress and, using Peanut long-range projectile launcher tech, their Captain fired the dirty bomb into the Inner City.

    Within 24 hours, 95% of the population was dead or dying from radiation sickness – and remember, there was still a significant military garrison; this was no simple act of mindless genocide.

    The 21st began their long trek back – but, as expected, they had not escaped unscathed. Around half of their initial force died as a direct result from the radiation emitted, and another quarter died on the trek back – a mixture of an early, harsh winter, and aggressive Almond troops rushing back to their precious Citadel.

    When they finally got to the pick-up, there was no-one there. They waited, but after two weeks of staking out the position, it was deemed suicidal to stay much longer. The Peanut Front was now the closest friendly territory, and so the began the long walk back. They were weakened and battered, but never down-heartened.

    As it was, the walk wasn’t as long as they had thought: they caught a Peanut Vanguard division leading that sector’s Great Push as it forced its way into Almond territory. From there, they must have managed to get back to the (now) mobile Macadamia HQ.

    As I said, it’s only rumoured that it was the Macadamia 21st – simply for the fact that it was one of the greatest war atrocities committed, no post-war government has officially stated who it was. Be that as it may, it’s a fairly undisputed fact that whichever nation ordered the attack, they never expected the unit to make it back. Fewer mouths to ask why, I suppose.

    I’ve always suspected that it was my Grandfather’s SAMS that committed the act – and also that it was he who fired the bomb. I don’t think he would have allowed the younger soldiers to bear that burden. If it was him, that would explain why he’s so quick to condemn the war and the role the Macadamia played, but so silent when asked to explain.

    I’m sure he’d be interested in your stories – especially your views on his Macadamia. However, the lifetime of fighting, and the residue radiation poisoning has taken its toll – he’s close to death. I’m sure he’d just be happy that their less contentious operations are remembered.

  303. Those posts are to big, i’m not reading it, maybe, one day, later, but not now.

  304. Corporal Peanut says:

    G, I would suggest you do.

    Alas, Arreh, I would have liked to hear that your grandfather died in peace, or at least honourably.

    But, war rarely gives pardon to those who deserve it. I would like to be able to say he always affected a battle in a positive way, or that the 102nd as a whole remembered him fondly.

    This might be partly true, but in every battle the SAMS were deemed necessary in were wrought with complications and horrible casualties on our end.

    When we fought the JUGGERNAUT, two hundred Peanut soldiers from the 102nd went in… twelve came out.

    After the battle of Red Mountain, the 102nd were sent to Heliopolis for a brief shore leave; The war simply wouldn’t allow us to leave the front lines.

    At least, that was what they told us. Quite odd, considering Heliopolis was a well defended research centre with no direct connection to the conflict… but that would all change after the JUGGERNAUT was sent for “battlefield testing”.

    Not one person there was happy about sending the eleven story behemoth away before completion, but Admiral Greynut had ordered it and there still wasn’t enough evidence of his treachery to deny his orders.

    In fact, Colonel Peanut Anderson had said that I would have been promoted to Master-Corporal were it not for Greynut’s interferance…

    Actually, did you say Arreh used a long-range launcher created by the Peanuts? I believe your talking about the 177 “Catapult” launcher! It was shipped to the front lines shortly before the Almond attack on Heliopolis!

    A week later, it was the third day of March; A day that would later be known in the history books as the Fall of Heliopolis…

  305. Cbf reading all the text now…

    China called, they want their wall back

  306. Someone should write this shit down or something.

  307. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    I suggest giving KingFrozen some points for this one.

  308. I second that suggestion.

  309. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Do I get points for a good suggestion, then?

  310. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Screw you guys.

  311. hay guys. who do you confide in when the one person you trust and can talk to is the person who will get hurt by what you need to say?

  312. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Simple. You confide in said person, whilst twisting the story so that it seems to be talking about a third person.

  313. The Giant Faggot says:

    Sounds like a plan, Vadermath!

  314. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Make a fable out of it. Publish this fable, hidden among many others. Send them an anonymous message with the page number written on it, and then, a couple of weeks later, give them (anonymously) the ISBN of the book. They should put two and two together, find the book, and discover what they needed to.

    And if they don’t, they aren’t worth your while.

  315. Problem is it’s something along the lines of “I miss this person” and the person hearing this would be cut deeply upon hearing that i miss this person.

    I like your plan though Arreh. You wouldn’t happen to own XKCD would you?

  316. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Yes, that’s me.

  317. I thought as much! I love hat-guy!

  318. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    He thinks you’re all right.

  319. Hey everyone. I don’t know how many people will see this but I love this series. Due to my love for this series I have decided to start up my own. I am doing videos and posting them on youtube. It is very similar to this but I’m doing it on the xbox so I won’t have any mods. I will keep to the tradition of this story but try and find my own path. I have a lot of time on my hands so updates should come out frequently. Once a day at the least. You should all give it a look.

  320. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Second commandment of Goat:

    Thou shalt not worship false idols.


  321. I think i just fell in love with you a little bit more, Arreh.

  322. It is sad that, after reading through the comments, I want not so much to exhort Nondrick’s adventures onward, but exhort blog entries in general, just to see what the commenters will do!

    *sits back and makes preemptive popcorn*

  323. You have the same first name as my ex (with the small difference of an “L”). She wanted to cheat on me. I don’t like my ex.
    But you use proper grammar and punctuation, so you can’t be HALF as bad as her!

  324. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    That was…quite a welcome, dupersude.

  325. The Green Lantern says:

    Stop, you have violated the law! You must pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit.

  326. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Holy crap, it’s Lantern!

    Hold. The phone.

    I’m the Orwellian Policeman here, bitch! That’s my line!

  327. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Take it from him.

    Do it.

  328. Thank you Vader, Thankyou.

  329. The Green Lantern says:

    Anyone know of any good online free(I’m a cheapo) virus scans? I got a virus that disabled the one I normally use(AVG). Links please, because it seems to have fucked up my ability to google anything.

  330. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I’m trying to post a link to avast, but wordpress doesn’t like it. I’ll try this:


  331. Do you mind if it’s pirated, Lantern?

  332. The Green Lantern says:

    I really don’t care if it’s pirated.

    I’ve been trying Avast all day, but the site won’t load for me. I got AVG to work again, but I think that only quarantines.

  333. Shit, I like totally neglected the awesome wall. Damn, i’ll do it later. Procrastinaiton :)

  334. Procrastination is what got me a B+ grade on an assignment I did overnight, 3 weeks late, the term AFTER it was due. :D

  335. Just found this blog and it’s amazing! I had to go pickup a copy of Oblivion. Keep up the good work!

  336. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Keep up the false hope!

  337. I lol’d

  338. CON-Troll says:


    Have Frohman show up in Oblivion.

  339. Midget52 says:

    Riding a Goat!

    Wait, that’s not a crossover. Nevermind.

  340. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Still fun, though.

  341. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    It’s kinda a crossover. Because Nondrick spawned our Goat meme.

  342. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Also, Fallout 3, the only other RPG Chris really liked, contains a G.O.A.T.

  343. How did Nondrick spawn the Goat meme, anyway?

  344. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Dupersude, those were dirty, dirty tactics to get the 4000.

  345. Well fuck me Arreh. I think you ARE Peanut. Have I foiled your ingenious scheme?

  346. I did what was necessary. For the good of the colony!

  347. Corporal Peanut says:

    Arreh isn’t me! I’m me! I just haven’t posted in a while.

  348. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Silly people. My prose style and general grammar is far superior to Peanut’s. Who isn’t even a real nut.

    God I wish I was asleep.

  349. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Nice save, but we gotta trim down those pauses.

  350. His pause was only a minute long, factor in connection lag etc. etc. and I think Arreh didn’t do TOO badly this time…

  351. I think that any pause that is on the positive side of a number line by even an infintisemal amount is still inexcusable.

    Therefore, we should burn him.

  352. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Or throw him off a bridge, like we would a baby!

  353. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Did nobody get my Concerned reference? I am disappoint.

  354. OOH! OOH I GOT IT! Sort of… I remember it anyway.

  355. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I got it. Also, to be fair, I actually slammed the stop button on my broswer before it said it had sent it. But then I refreshed and it had sent. Bastard browser.

  356. Corporal Peanut says:

    In my defense, I wrote those war stories at two in the morning. It’s kinda hard to remember to proofread when my nocturnal perserverance is also related to gaining a special gaming tip (cookie for reference).

  357. Midget52 says:

    And in my defense, a synth isn’t exactly the best instrument to play mellow jazz on. Though it works well with jazz funk.

    Right, well, I’m off to . See you next week!

  358. Guys! I return with good news indeed! Chris has plans to make a new update!

  359. What! Where did you learn of this information!

  360. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    The fuck? It hasn’t even been three months yet!

  361. OH YOU DICK MICHAEL. Take note of the date…

  362. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:


  363. Corporal Peanut says:

    JESUS. H. TAPDANCING CHRIST! You had me going for a there! Don’t even joke about Chris updating! Everyone knows that only the power of cosmic radiation, unleashed by a planetary alignment, can cause Chris to update.

  364. Corporal Peanut says:

    GODDAMNIT! I’ve got to start proofreading these things…

  365. coolface.jpg

  366. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I actually considered doing that. However, there are some things you just don’t joke about.

  367. Arreh, I joke about everything, everywhere and everyxxxxx

  368. The Green Lantern(Scourge of the Galazy) says:

    It’s my birthday today.

    In other news, my friends and I are starting a Star Wars Dnd. I’m thinking of rolling a sith Yoda. Think it’d be cool if he were named Craig? Darth Craig, scourge of the galaxy.

  369. Happy vagina-plop-day, Lantern! Oh, and yes. Craig.


    In other news, happy birthday Lantern! My ex best friends is today, my girlfriends is tomorrow, her ex best friend is the day after, mine is on the 11th, as is my ex’s, and two other girls i went to primary/high school with. My cousins is on the 17th. My uncle is on the 18th (or there abouts) and another friends is on the 20th. So many april birthdays…

  371. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:


  372. Corporal Peanut says:

    Happy Birthday, Lantern!

  373. Happy Belated Birthday Lantern ( It was yesterday right? If it was today, then happy birthday Lantern) Ahhh, I have returned.

  374. G, press the link in my name to see how awesome I am, so that I can get more awesome points!

  375. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:



  376. :coolface.trg:

  377. Woot, he’s back! :D

  378. Jump!

  379. Joey, Chief Antagonist. says:


  380. Joey, Chief Antagonist. says:

    If you read this… I rock. :D And I have a blog you guys can read.

  381. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Yes. We can. But we don’t want to.

  382. You have to link to it, Joey. I forgot the url.

  383. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Jeez, I leave this place alone for just a coupla days, and you guys let someone destroy the beautiful 4000 post count?

    Way to go.

    Also, happy birthdays where appropriate.

  384. Corporal Peanut says:

    I would like to read Joey’s blog, if he would give a url.

    Also, yes, the 4000 post count was destroyed. I never thought I would see the day…

  385. So, guys, what we gonna do now? I’m kind of bored here.

  386. Midget52 says:

    Don’t worry, I’m back. You can stop being bored while I completely explain the First Amendment of the Australian Constitution in a style that is in no way copy-pasted from wikipedia.

    The Australian referendum of 12 December 1906 approved an amendment to the Australian constitution related to the terms of office of federal senators. Technically it was a vote on the Constitution Alteration (Senate Elections) Act, 1906, which after being approved in the referendum received the Royal Assent on 3 April 1907. The amendment moved the date of the beginning of the term of members of the Senate from 1 January to 1 July so that elections to the federal House of Representatives and the Senate could occur simultaneously.

    The 1906 vote was the first referendum ever held in the Commonwealth of Australia and concerned the first amendment proposed to the constitution since its enactment. Only one question was put to the voters at that time.

  387. tl;dr

    yo ar a fgt

  388. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Nice, nice.


  390. Midget52 says:

    I will let it go for $20, But only if you pay by credit card.

  391. hi I have been reading this from the start but have not commented.
    @hiautus crew you guys are awsome.
    @chris keep up the good work.
    @putzy please do more SOME WHAT INTRESTING TAILS

  392. oh yeah sorry if my picture changes i’ve got to switch between pc and psp

  393. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Hah! you guys got a general “you guys”, I got a name mention! Suck on that, nobody!
    Welcome silencer.

  394. cheers putzy but to be honest I can only remember vadermath,you and G in the hiautus crew

  395. I will Putzy if you will.

    Anyhu, I also miss those tales, Where be the tales of many adventures I used to enjoy reading?

  396. any chance of me joining the hiautus crew?

  397. damn I keep spelling tales wrong

  398. Awesome, I was remembered.

    I give you my invite to the HC.

  399. silencer says:

    thanks G

  400. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Don’t you feel like a gangsta mo fuckah when talking to G? I know I do. Sure, you have my invite. What the heck, I’m on holiday.

  401. silencer says:

    thanks putzy but I dont feel like a gangster

  402. silencer says:

    sorry about the double post but how could I forget about green lantern

    • silencer says:

      fuck how could I forgot midget(s) *pulls out silenced pistol and shoots himself in the head*

  403. Midget52 says:

    I find this punishment acceptable. You have my support, sir!

  404. silencer says:

    thanks midget and that bullet really hurt

  405. Nothing personal, but you remind me of Joey when he first came along, CONSTANTLY posting. Except you don’t use punctuation which irritates the fuck out of me.
    Oh, and I didn’t get recognition.

  406. silencer says:

    sorry dupersude for not remembering you and not using punctuation.
    I’ve got a memory like a siv.

  407. silencer says:

    tell you what I’ve been through all the past comments and I will write a list of everyone that I forgot.
    Coreperal peanut,
    Arreh and washcloth.
    To all people above sorry I forgot you.

  408. There’s no need to be sorry to joey.

  409. There’s always need to be sorry FOR Joey.

  410. silencer says:

    Has anyone seen district 9?
    I want to know if its any good before I pick it up.

  411. Hmm, looking back at the last page, Dupersude you have been a very bad boy, you posted more then once to get the 4000 get. Bad. You will have to go into Putzy’s basement.

    Also who was the fag that posted afterwards?

  412. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    We all had cybersex with each other at some point around here, so “fag” could apply to everyone.

  413. silencer says:

    He has a point.

  414. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Silence, silencer! You aren’t allowed to contribute to conversations until you are approved by every member of the Crew.

  415. silencer says:

    Do you give me approval vadermath?

  416. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    What did I say about you talking?

  417. G – I had to. I couldn’t let a nice neat 10 get powercombo just slip through my fingers like that. You know what they say: Alls fair in love and gets.

    And i lol’d at the Joey comments.

    And Silencer seems to be cleaning his act up a bit….
    … But Vadermath has been here longer than me so you should do as he says.

  418. How the fuck could you forget about me? Also you spelled my name wrong ;_;

    I has a sad.

  419. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Also silencer, you have to come into my basement for…for…coffee. And gratuitous rape.

  420. silencer says:

    Please for the love of Goat dont make me go down there!
    Also please let me join the Hiautus crew.*Gets down on knees and begs*
    Sorry for talking vadermath.

  421. I kinda like him, he’s nice and obediant, kind of.
    Also, sorry to say, but you won’t be able to join unless you went into the basement, we’ve all been there, we’ve all experienced it. Some liked it, some disliked it, but we have ALL done it.

  422. Also, silencer, you need to get my consent that I wish you to join, otherwise, fuck you. So, do something entertaining and I’ll see what I think.

  423. Oh this was an epic conversation.

    Person A”Bush Rulz”
    Person B”Bush Sux”
    Person A”You Sux”
    Person B”Ur Gay”
    Person A”Ur Mom Gay”
    Person B”Ur Mom Sux Bush”
    Person A”Ur Um. Gay”

  424. No.

  425. silencer says:

    Fine I will go to putzys basement but that doesnt mean I will enjoy it. Oh yeah I also hate irrelivent spam, I would kill him/her/it by slowly dunking it in acid. Then when it is half dead I would put it in a room with a knife and play jedward songs until it took its own life and a goat would pee on the body.

  426. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I like this subservient silencer guy.

    I don’t remember if I’m actually part of the hiatus crew, but damnit I’ve been lurking here since post one of Nondrick, so I’m close enough.

    Anyway, I think he should be some sort of Hiatus Crew groupie.

  427. Midget52 says:

    I think he has the whole attitude down pat. Let the poor kid in! He’s so adorable and psychotic!

  428. Corporal Peanut says:

    I know I haven’t been here that long, and my experiance in Putzy’s basement are still quite recent and painful(so very, very painful).

    However, if my vote counts for something I like him; He’s obediant, attentive, and has great potential.

    I must confess, I have been caught off guard by a recent change in my life. I don’t know how to phrase this so I’ll just put it bluntly: I’m being pulled back into service. The Brazil Nuts goverment has been usurped by a rebel faction. Their first move was to establish complete loyalty among the Brazil Nuts. They attacked without warning, and are quickly burning through our defenses and our intel. Already they have made heavy fortifications in our capital province(Peanutario).

    As such, there is my brief explanation for my brief absense(that nobody noticed). I hope that this will end soon.
    Before you ask; Yes, I am unsubtly attempting to replace Putzy’s Tales.

  429. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Look out your window Peanut.

  430. Corporal Peanut says:

    Look out my window? Why do you want me t-OHMYGODOHFUCK

  431. silencer says:

    That was not pleasent in putzys basement and I think I only need michael and vadermaths invite. YAY

  432. You think you have it tough. Try going through it 53 times. He changes it every third person, to keep it fresh. Let me know if he still has the Gamelan set and the egg whisk.

  433. YOU JUST GOT LINKED! :zelda.jpg:

    Personally I was treated to the Chess variation, Midget.

  434. silencer says:

    @ midget no it was bare with a table and a bed.Also there was some marks on the wall like someone was counting the days so creepy.
    @Michael you want something entertaining then this is it. In school today (Im 17) we were doing atheletics in PE and I was doing the heave throw when I was half way through the throw my bag split. The wheight came out and flew across the yard and hit someone in the head and knocked him flying. It was so FUCKING FUNNY.
    There you go Michael is that good enough for your invite?

  435. I must admit I cracked a smile, but… say… how… how good are you at [B]polishing spears[/b]?

  436. silencer says:

    Not bad.
    I think?

  437. Then get down on your knees, open your mouth, and start polishing my spear.

  438. silencer says:

    Oh ha ha ha. Do I need to do this to get my approval?

  439. Yes, of course.

  440. silencer says:

    Fine *gets down on knees and polishes the spear* Jesus that was sticky now give me my invite like you said you would.

  441. You call that polishing? Well, I guess that’ll do… but, you have to undress in order to get my recommendation as House Hlaalu’s Hortator.

  442. silencer says:

    Ok I will but you had better give me my invite. *takes off clothes in a sexy manner*
    There happy? Now give me my invite.

  443. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I dislike this spear polishing. You lose my invite.

  444. silencer says:

    You basterd. What do I have to do to get back your invite?

  445. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Get everyone’s approval.

  446. hm? But that in itself is a paradox, how can he get everyones approval, without getting yours as well.

    What you should have said is, Get everyone elses approval.

  447. Corporal Peanut says:

    Okay, let’s read off the list:

    Approved by:
    Dupersude(I think)
    Putzy(Who tried to murder me)

    Not approved by:
    Washcloth(Chasing the Cliff-Racers from Morrowind)
    Green Lantern(In hibernation)

    • Corporal Peanut says:

      How could I forget? There we have it: The list of people Silencer has been approved by, and those whos approval he still needs(with information on Lantern and Washcloth’s current status).

  448. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    That’s a good list. Sorry about that murder attempt. Shit happens.

  449. silencer says:

    So really I’ve just got to get arrehs. But wait a second that means I need lanterns and washcloths(who I doubt we will see anytime soon)invites.
    God this is going to take a while.
    Thanks for writing the list.

  450. Midget52 says:

    Now no one can say our neurotic, paranoid, completely bat-shit bananas organisation isn’t organised!

  451. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Nono, you misunderstand. When I said get everyone’s approval, I meant everyone’s. Including mine.

    Of course it’s a paradox! I’m in the ministry of love, torturing people is what I do.

    And I think lantern and washcloth can be excused the vote here.

    In that case, silence, write a 50 word (EXACTLY) short essay on the history of the Hiatus Crew, including whatever you see fit.

    If any current member of the Hiatus crew approves of it (without another disapproving), you have my vote. You have until midnight. At which point I will be asleep, and you will have another 12 hours or so.


  452. silencer says:

    The hiautus crew was founded by vadermath, green lantern and washcloth in 2009. Since then many more people have joined such as midgets1-52,G,king frozen, micheal,corporal peanut,dupersude,arreh and many more.

    The Hiautus rules are as follows: Thou shall capitalize Goat.
    Joining the Hiautus crew involves rape.

  453. silencer says:

    That do it? and please dont dissagree anyone I’ve always wanteed to be inthe Hiautus crew.

  454. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    What? You left out Max, our founding father!

  455. silencer says:

    Um that isnt a dissagreement right.

  456. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:


    It’s outright denial.

  457. silencer says:

    I’ve got a fealing you’ve got it in for me vadermath.
    Is this true?

  458. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Let me put it this way; When you feel the dagger steadily sinking into your back, you’ll know it’s actually a lightsaber.

    Because it will burn.

  459. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Vadermath is Chief of the (highly respected) Thought Police. If he disapproves, then I remain unimpressed.

    Win him over, silence.

    No invitation granted.

  460. silencer says:

    Right vadermath what do I have to do to win you over?

  461. You forgot Max?

    Son, I am dissapoint.

  462. dupersude says:

    I could have sworn the crew was founded in ’08, on the Hiatus post. then there was A bitter brew, and then “nondrick update” which is where i started posting, and now of course The Alchemists Code.
    But yeah. Just sayin’.

  463. Midget52 says:

    That sounds accurate. Although you forgot the baby cannibalism and INFANTONIUM(c)!

  464. silencer says:

    I couldnt fit in baby cannibalism and infantonium because I could only write 50 words.

  465. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Also, I’m pretty sure that’s only 45 words.

  466. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Also, yeah, the Crew was founded in late ’08, IIRC.

  467. On that note, someone should really write our history down, or archive all comments from hiatus to this one, just in case something were to happen to the comments.

  468. Our site, anyone? Also, who told you you got my approval? You might have to do a few things more before you REALLY get my invite. Also, I laughed at the end of your essay. You got it right there(not the invite, but keep trying)!

  469. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    @G: I actually had all of them (by that point) archived in a txt file somewhere.

  470. silencer says:

    Michael I think thats the first nice thing you said to me.

  471. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Treasure this moment always.

  472. Silencer, then you better keep it up to hear more good things from me.

  473. You did Vadermath? Awesome, I also think we need a new site. Not that I have anything against the site, it’s to bland, anyone got any nifty programming skillz they have been keeping quiet?

  474. Well, I AM an expert in Visual Basic. So, assuming you want to make a website that only I can visit, that is contained completely in one word document, then I’ll be right on it!

  475. Sounds good, Midget52! Get right on it!

  476. Yeah totally. The reason we need a website is to archive our awesomeness.
    We need a chat at the very least…hmmm.

  477. I OBJECT

  478. I Do Not Object.

  479. Yes You Do.

  480. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    If we don’t archive all this, how can Hollywood make a movie about us?

  481. Exactly.
    Someone totally needs to archive this and make a better site. Anyone got any nifty web programming skillz they were previously hidin’?

  482. I’m behind successful game dev companies like Valve, Bioware, Blizzard, Activision and Infinity Ward.

  483. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Hang on to your underwear guys, for a new chapter of the Hiatus Novel will be coming to you by the end of the weekend!

  484. /me falls out of underwear

  485. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:

    Unfortunately, I’ve lost a chapter, which means some bits of the story will be rewritten.

    I’ll post all of the (back in action, effective immediately) Novel, or rather everything written up so far, including the new chapter, and the last two I had to change.

    I need to get back to writing and humour, I’ve been waaay to serious for the past year for my own good!

  486. I still havn’t read the hiatus novel, I was gonna get around to reading it one day, anyone got a link?

  487. Corporal Peanut says:

    Vadermath… is actually rewriting the Hiatus Novel?! This is the happiest day of my life…

  488. G, you can find them at our head quarters.

  489. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Michael, I just clicked on your link.

  490. Vadermath, Chief Of The Thought Police says:


  491. I warned you, Arreh.

  492. Corporal Peanut says:


    I knew I shouldn’t have looked, I just wanted to see what it was…

    I have seen many disgusting things on the Internet, but that’s the most frightening out of all of them.

  493. The Ministry of Love now has its newest weapon, though.

    We take dissidents in, put them in a Virtual Reality chamber and BAM! we play your site, looping through the images, nonstop.

    Possibly to the sound of “Never gonna give you up”.

  494. I on the other hand, have not visited the site, I usually google links in peoples names before going on them, this is a good stragety of avoiding shock sites.

  495. I usually google links that I can’t see. Michael was obviously waiting for the one day I let down my guard.

  496. Arreh, always standing by for the strike…

  497. Or are you?

  498. Oh I clicked the link in Arreh’s name, expecting to be rick roll’d, I did, but i’m immune to the affect of rick roll bitchs! Ha! Take that Arreh.

  499. dupersude says:


  500. Corporal Peanut says:

    Actually, I rather like the song. I suppose that’s why I’m never angry about getting Rick Roll’d.

  501. Midget52 says:


  502. ShweeBish says:

    DOH! I quit checking for Nondrick updates and the new one comes out about a week later.

    Whats the average life-span of an NPC?

  503. ShweeBish says:

    i have a feeling this will be the very last one

  504. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Wait, how have you only seen the first Doctor Who episode with Matt Smith?

  505. ted sheckler says:


  506. dupersude,



    OH LOVE*fade*

    Yes, I just typed that out.

  507. Corporal Peanut says:

    Well, Arreh, the new Doctor Who series has only aired the first episode for North American audiences. I did recently get to see it on Saturday, and it was, in fact, awesome.

  508. dupersude says:

    Arreh, from which country do you hail? I’m pretty sure you’ve mentioned it before but i’m too lazy to go back and check. England i think?

    Michael, my girlfriend and i were having a soppy moment lastt night and she said something along the lines of “I want to be with you… Always..”
    Is it unhealthy that one of the maain things on my mind was to start singing that song?

  509. Corporal Peanut says:

    I thought Arreh was from Austrailia…

    Also, ahem…

    Hello darkness my old friend
    I’ve come to talk with you again

    Because a vision
    Softley creeping

    Left it’s seeds
    While I was sleeping

    And the vision
    That was planted in my brain

    Still remains

    Within the sound
    Of silence

    In restless dreams
    I walked alone

    Narrow streets
    Of cobblestone

    ‘Neath the halo
    Of a street lamp

    I turned my collar
    To the cold and damp

    When my eyes were stabbed
    By the flash of a neon light

    That split the night

    And touched the sound
    Of silence

    And in the naked light I saw
    Ten thousand people, maybe more

    People talking
    Without speaking

    People hearing
    Without listening

    People writing songs
    That voices never shared

    No one dared…

    Disturb the sound
    Of silence

    “Fools,” Said I
    “You do not know!”

    “Silence, like a cancer, grows,”
    “Hear my words ‘that I might teach you,”

    “Take my arms ‘that I might reach you.”

    But my words,
    like silent raindrops, fell

    Echoed, in the
    Wells of silence

    And the people bowed and prayed
    To the neon god they made

    And the sign
    Flashed out it’s warning

    In the words
    That it was forming

    And the sign said

    “The words of the prophets are written in the subway halls,”

    “And tenement halls.”

    Whisper the sounds…
    Of silence…*fade out*

    Personally, I find this song oddly comforting when my terrible luck catches up with me.

  510. Midget52 says:

    Arreh can’t be from Australia, as they only had the first Doctor Who recently as well. I checked.

    I may have too much free time.

  511. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I’m from Angleland. Australia is for convicts and sexists.

  512. John Smith says:

    Me also.

  513. Nah, I don’t mean it.

    Also John Smith was meant to reply, but it was too complicated in the end.

  514. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    I’m from Terra Australis Incognita.

  515. I’m from .

    Damn, I wish that would stop happening. It makes it really difficult to post letters.

  516. That makes me moist.

  517. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    That moists me make.

  518. Atta boy Arreh, now take of your pants.

  519. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    No, G, that’s my thing. Now you can both take your pants off, and Joey you too, and come into my basement.

  520. Midget52 says:

    I feel safe in the knowledge that none of the comments above affect me in any way. Except for the ones that do. They make me feel nervous.

  521. I ain’t goin’ no basement.


  523. Lol. Rofl. Fag. U suk.

  524. G, die.

  525. Death, isn’t afraid of me.

  526. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Kind of an important point to muck up there.

  527. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Yeah that was quite a failure.

  528. You will fail.

  529. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    You will fall.

  530. Midget52 says:

    I guess falling is a type of failure. A failure at verticality.

  531. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    And I guess failing is a type of falling. A falling of success.

  532. I would say its falling from success.

  533. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I would say it’s success from falling.

  534. I would say, wheres Vadermath?

  535. This is epic!

  536. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Hello all! I am Putzy Von Putzingburg the Fourth. My father sent me here to learn about my duties, which he said involved standing around talking with strangers and raping people in his basement.

  537. Welcome Putzy the 4th, however seen as your not your father, watch out for basement joey, whom your father reguarly abuses, and michael.

  538. Corporal Peanut says:

    Putzy had a son? I knew he would have had some offspring considering his… tendencies. Also, as G said, welcome!

    Although, I think your father may have misinformed you; He only raped anyone new, and it is conducted as a ritual of initiation

    Also, we do just stand around and talk. I remember your father used to tell tales that livened-up boring periods of conversation. Of course, he stopped telling his tales and many have tried to replace them. I myself have attempted to substitute with recountings of the Great Nut War.

    Of course, there has yet to be a real replacement. Maybe his son should take his place?

  539. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    I am no where near ready to attempt such an art as the TALES OF SOMEWHAT INTERESTING PLOTS, that will be my final lesson when I am about to take over the family business, whatever that may be.

  540. Midget52 says:

    It’s nice to see a family business in the modern world, what with all the multinational corporations. It’s reassuring to the little people.

  541. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I don’t know what you lot thought of Corporal Peanut’s recounts of the Great Nut War, but I’ll be damned if my contributions are brushed away. You just don’t get quality like that nowadays.

    Anyway, looks like one of the rapes paid off, and here you are, Putzy the fourth. Welcome.

  542. Wow, a new guy for me to abuse? Sounds good to me!

  543. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    There has been some confusion as to which rape paid off, as apparently none of you are female.
    And Michael, my father told me to give you this non-desript box, then run away. So here you go.

  544. What? Oh, let me just ope- OH GOD NO FUCK FUCK SHIT

  545. Midget52 says:

    Unless it involves an egg whisk, I would like to know the contents of that box. Sharing is caring!

  546. Words cannot describe the abomination that I just saw.

  547. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Maybe you should express it through the medium of dance.

  548. silencer says:

    Im back baby.
    Also check out my site at
    (copy and paste)

  549. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:


    Anyway, we already have a site.

  550. dupersude says:

    And on the same domain too.

  551. Midget52 says:

    Yes, but this one is newer and shinier! Get with the times! Our old site is so last tuesday!

  552. dupersude says:

    It’s equally shiny though, it even has the same background!
    Also, anybody else on here played saints row 2?

  553. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I was all like RARRRGHHH too, then I tried actually playing it on my pc and was all like RARRRGHHH, but for different reasons.

  554. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    And silencer, I actually live right by you. I might even know you – what’s your name? You go to Worcester Sixth, or Pershore, or what?

  555. No I dont I just forgot to change the location and its only a testing site.I run it through webs as I was looking to make a website so I clicked on the link on the bottom of your site. If you could think of any way to improve my site could you tell me?

  556. Midget52 says:

    Black jack! And Hookers! In fact, forget the black jack! Ahhhh, forget the whole thing.

  557. Midget52, I saw that coming.

  558. My theory is that Joey is the female, or a hermaphrodite. So Putzy the fourth my by Putzy the third’s and Joey’s child.

  559. I.



  560. Corporal Peanut says:

    Good for you, so are the rest of us.

  561. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    Speak for yourself.

  562. Midget52 says:

    Do you mean alive in the literal sate, as in a state of being or conciousness, or alive in the figurative sense, meaning active or lively? It’s just we don’t want to get confused.

  563. dupersude says:

    It’s too late for Joey anyway, already being confused.
    Sexually, that is.

  564. Basement Joey says:

    *a surprisingly hot female crawls out of The Basement* Where is my son?

  565. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    * tranquillizer gun*
    Get back in the fucking basement, mum.

  566. Why use tranquillizers when there’s

  567. Why use that when theres Joey’s fac – damn, that one can’t work.

    Back to plan B.

  568. Infantonium on standby…

  569. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    I legally own Paraguay now. Funny, story, massive technical loophole in their law system.

  570. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    This reminds me of the time I accidentally sold Hawaii to the Americans.

    And 600 GET. Heheheheheheheehhe.

  571. >implying GETS aren’t for fags

  572. dupersude says:

    I take offence to that Michael, you bastard.

  573. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I only got it because I wanted to rub it in dupersude’s face.

    And you walk in here, Michael, with your 4chan-faggotry, and have the audacity to claim GETs are for fags?

    4chan is built on GETs.

    I bet Michael was the EFG who pushed our 4000 count over the edge. Not that I’m bitter, or anything.

  574. >implying you aren’t a fag

  575. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:


  576. >implying I wasn’t my link all along

  577. dupersude says:

    You’re right, you were your link all along Michael.
    Too bad that “all along” your link has been to and you only just changed it to

  578. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I hate

  579. Midget52 says:

    It’s better than

  580. dupersude says:

    But I LOVE business supplies.

  581. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    This internet depresses me.

  582. I agree dupersude, I came up with that changing link earlier would be neat, but sadly I came up with it AFTER I had pressed submit.

  583. dupersude says:

    Damn straight it would have been neat. Neat like yo’ mamma’s landing strip.

  584. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:


  585. no

  586. dupersude says:

    I said skin, not brofist. God DAMN it.

  587. Midget52 says:

    no /no?/ [noh] adjective, noun,pluralnoes, nos, verb
    1.(a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question or request)
    2.(used to emphasize or introduce a negative statement): Not a single person came to the party, no, not a one.
    3.not in any degree or manner; not at all (used with a comparative): He is no better.
    4.not a (used before an adjective to convey the opposite of the adjective’s meaning): His recovery was no small miracle.
    5.not a (used before a noun to convey the opposite of the noun’s meaning): She’s no beginner on the ski slopes.
    –noun utterance of the word “no.”
    7.a denial or refusal: He responded with a definite no.
    8.a negative vote or voter: The noes have it.
    –verb (used with object) reject, refuse approval, or express disapproval of.
    –verb (used without object) express disapproval.
    —Idiom can do, Informal. it can’t be done.

    bef. 900; ME; OE na, equiv. to ne not + a ever (see ay1)

  588. dupersude says:


  589. wat wat, in da butt

  590. butt /b?t/ [buht]
    1.the end or extremity of anything, esp. the thicker, larger, or blunt end considered as a bottom, base, support, or handle, as of a log, fishing rod, or pistol. end that is not used or consumed; remnant: a cigar butt.
    3.a lean cut of pork shoulder.
    4.Slang. the buttocks.
    5.Slang. a cigarette.

    1400–50; late ME bott (thick) end, buttock, OE butt tree stump (in place names); akin to Sw but stump, Dan but stubby; cf. buttock

  591. dupersude says:


    • Midget52 says:

      game1 /ge?m/ [geym] noun, adjective, gam·er, gam·est, verb, gamed, gam·ing.
      1. an amusement or pastime: children’s games.
      2. the material or equipment used in playing certain games: a store selling toys and games.
      3. a competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement or for that of spectators.
      4. a single occasion of such an activity, or a definite portion of one: the final game of the season; a rubber of three games at bridge.
      5. the number of points required to win a game.
      6. the score at a particular stage in a game: With five minutes to play, the game was 7 to 0.
      7. a particular manner or style of playing a game: Her game of chess is improving.
      8. anything resembling a game, as in requiring skill, endurance, or adherence to rules: the game of diplomacy.
      9. a trick or strategy: to see through someone’s game.
      10. fun; sport of any kind; joke: That’s about enough of your games.
      11. wild animals, including birds and fishes, such as are hunted for food or taken for sport or profit.
      12. the flesh of such wild animals or other game, used as food: a dish of game.
      13. any object of pursuit, attack, abuse, etc.: The new boy at school seemed to be fair game for practical jokers.
      14. Informal . a business or profession: He’s in the real-estate game.
      15. Archaic . fighting spirit; pluck.
      16. pertaining to or composed of animals hunted or taken as game or to their flesh.
      17. having a fighting spirit; plucky.
      18. Informal . having the required spirit or will (often fol. by for or an infinitive): Who’s game for a hike through the woods?
      –verb (used without object)
      19. to play games of chance for stakes; gamble.
      –verb (used with object)
      20. to squander in gaming (usually fol. by away ).

      bef. 1000; ME gamen, OE gaman; c. OHG gaman glee

      —Related forms
      gameless, adjective
      gamelike, adjective
      gameness, noun
      un·game·like, adjective

      3. sport, contest, competition. 9. scheme, artifice, stratagem, plan, plot, venture. 11, 13. prey, quarry. 17. brave, bold, intrepid, dauntless, fearless.

  592. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    I stopped caring about the game before I knew about it.

  593. dupersude says:

    I want him to give a definition though.

  594. Michael says:

    Midget52, fucking magnets
    how do they work?

  595. Midget52 says:

    Positive charge of some metals attract metals with the opposite charge. This is due to the magnetic field produced by some ferromagnetic substances, that is substances without a complete outer shell of electrons.

    That was information of the top of my head, by the way. Also, I wouldn’t advise fucking magnets. Unless you feel attracted to them.

  596. No, no, man, like, [i]how[/i] do they work. Like, [i]how[/i] do they [i]work[/i].

    Because I’ll tell you something. We have no idea.

    [i]No fucking idea, man[/i].

    (I hope my italics work. Please let them work)

  597. Midget52 says:

    I really thought I covered that. Have you people not been paying attention?

  598. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    What are we talking about again?

  599. Wait, who are you?

  600. Italics? Italics are awesome. Did I do it rights?

  601. AWESOME SAUCE, It’s Italics! YAY! I’ can write in teh Italics now. From this dat forth, May the 7th, it will be known as Italic day.

  602. So… You are all obviously males… Ugh… Sometimes, I am so glad to be female…

  603. Midget52 says:

    Way to drop a hint there. Very subtle.

    Before we start the conversation that is bound to originate from this, do you plan to be a regular comment(-ee? -or? -ist?) or was that the extent of your contribution?

  604. dupersude says:

    The italics or the women? If in fact you mean the latter, then quick! Someone get a goddamn kitchen in here to contain them!

  605. dupersude says:


  606. Shit, I only wanted May the 7th to be italics day. What Have I done?!

  607. Midget52 says:

    Let me try something….

  608. Corporal Peanut says:

    Wait, what just happened? Did someone divide by zero?

  609. dupersude says:

    Something along those lines. What has science done, etc etc.

  610. Midget52 says:

    This is not going well. I beleive I started somethingTERRIBLE

  611. dupersude says:


  612. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Well it’s safe to say we are all screwed.

  613. dupersude says:

    How do you bold shit anyway? Do you use HTML tags? This is a test.

  614. dupersude says:

    Odd. It didn’t do anything. I can assume from the absence of my tags though that it worked.
    I wonder if you can start a tag in one comment and end it in another? Something like this…

  615. dupersude says:

    to this.. ?

  616. Midget52 says:

    Nope. I tried to fix the italics that way. It went about as well as that.

  617. Wow. For your information midget, I do surely intend to be a regular commentee/ist here. I mean, the place does need sprucing up. A little lavender over here, and a bit of kitchen appliances over there. But seriously, I intend to stick around.

    And dupersude, sexism obviously detected. Please humor me into why women should be contained ‘in the kitchen’. Women are just as equal to men, if so possibly far more superior imo.

  618. All hail the power of

    I’m not going to lie, I’m not expecting that to do anything. Unless I’m missing the joke here.

    And greeaat, mindless sexism on both sides. Is the average woman superior to an average man in strength? No. Is an average man as intelligent as the average woman? Studies would seem to suggest not.

    Therefore, both sexes suck, and I am the master race, being both stronger and more intelligent than the average human.

  619. FUUUUUUU-

  620. Midget52 says:

    I did not mean for my comment to be taken as hostile. If I had, there would be exactly 38% more malice, an extra dash of nutmeg and at least one link to a virus disguised as a rick roll disguised as an invitation of friendship.

    Welcome to Nondrick! Go to this website for you prize!

    Seriously, though, you do still need to pass initiation. Assuming, of course, that Putzy is continuing the basement tradition?

  621. Hm, I say we call a emergency Hiatus meeting, in letting a female into our ranks.

  622. You guys considered that she might not want to join our ranks?

    If she does, she must simply pass initiation, just like everybody else.

  623. I am ready to pass initiation fellow commentees. Who is the leader here? Oh and thankyou Midget. I feel somewhat welcomed.

  624. Corporal Peanut says:

    You know, now that you mention it, I don’t think we have a leader. You see, a leader can be corrupted and would need to be disposed of. That would cause… unnecesarry damage.

    If you request information on the initiation “ceremony”, talk to Putzy. He holds the key to his fathers basement.

    I must warn you, however, that it is the Putzingburg family tradition to change the… experience every third person so don’t expect any advice on what you should expect (I was treated a rather strange version myself). The only advice I can give you is to expect the unexpected, and if Putzy stands or sits still for too long DON’T LOOK AWAY.

  625. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    My father has taught me well on the intricacies of the basement initiation. It will not be pleasant. You will emerge a different person, and your brain may automatically suppress what happened.

  626. I have to say, I don’t remember what happened in my basement trip.

    One minute I was declaring myself to be a cyber-pirate/ninja, and the next I was a member of the Hiatus crew.

    Obviously as well as surviving the basement, you need to gain the main members’ approval.

    You can have mine, just because you seem vaguely interesting.

  627. Midget52 says:

    You can have mine, because you seem to display an appreciation for dry wit. We shall get along nicely.

  628. You can have mine. There isn’t really any leaders, but the most important member, has to be Vadermath, as well as max and washcloth, however they are rare to be seen, michael and Putzy the third are high on the list.

  629. Also, Joey is the hiatus slave, just so you know. What’s everyone rank?

  630. Oh, I have seen such things from the infamous Joey.

    And thankyou Arreh, Midget and G. Your kindness is somewhat welcoming.

  631. You can have mine because you give great head.

    I mean, make good sandwhiches.

  632. dupersude says:

    Oh fuck.
    Games up. Lemon is my girlfriend, she left her info on my computer.

  633. So… Thanks a lot dupersude. My mask has now been revealed. Dick.

    However, I still am going to post. Because of him. Dick.

  634. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Does she know who I am dupersude?

  635. Why yes I do Sir Putzy. I know exactly who you are :)

  636. dupersude says:

    Everything tastes like milk

  637. That would be the italics slowly destroying the sensory systems in your brain. They do that, you know.

  638. dupersude says:

    I’ve heard about that. Now imagine the effects of… BOLD TEXT.

  639. Midget52 says:

    They can certainly skew your outlook on things.

    That really wasn’t that great, was it?

  640. dupersude says:

    Not really, no. Probably more suited for an italics joke, which WE CAN’T EVEN MAKE ANYMORE, THANKYOU G.

  641. Yeah G, you cock. Now we need Chris to make another post, so we can go back to normal text. Ugh, how inconvenient.

    • Damnit, I can’t even put [/delicious irony] at the end of my post. Obviously not with the square brackets.

  642. dupersude says:

    If we keep reading italics ’til the next post we’re going to be asking “Why is the text suddenly skewed straight upward?”

    … Lame jokes seem to be contagious. Thankyou midget.

  643. Italics ftw.

  644. Corporal Peanut says:

    You know, I think this comment section is more entertaining then the actual blog.

  645. And today, May the 11th will be the concluding day in the 5 day Italic day.

  646. If i find a fix.

  647. Lets make is worse.

  648. Maybe?


    All hail the paradise that has come unto our tiny worlds in the form of Italics.

    All hail G, Bringer of Italics.

  650. dupersude says:

    Arreh, I hope you know the consequences of creating a group which worships italics, and G himself…

  651. dupersude - Leader of the Anti-Italics Cult says:

    … That is, for every action, there must be an equal and opposite REaction…

  652. Midget52 says:

    Only in a three dimensionl plane that obeys the laws of newtonian physics. If you are in a black hole or travelling faster than the speed of light, or are a subatomic particle, or have a fourth dimension…

    Then what the hell are you doing reading this comment section?

  653. Midget52 says:

    Only in a three dimensional plane that obeys the laws of Newtonian physics. If you are in a black hole or travelling faster than the speed of light, or are a subatomic particle, or have a fourth dimension…

    Then what the hell are you doing reading this comment section?

  654. dupersude - Leader of the Anti-Italics Cult says:


  655. Midget52 says:

    Well, of course he doesn’t. The fact that I said it only makes it slightly more likely that he’ll find out.

  656. dupersude - Leader of the Anti-Italics Cult says:

    That’s a nice use of italics in a passage of italics. Yes, I do see what you did there.

  657. Faster than the speed of light? You may as well say if you are but are not. Oh sweet impossibilities.

    Also, I realised the foolishness of worshipping G, of all people. I am not built to worship.

    And seeing as there is no longer an italics worshipping cult, dupersude’s cult blinks out of existence.

  658. What? 3 Dimensions? Fuck, I live in a 2 dimensional world. Curse you lucky bastards.

  659. ¡¡¡?ou sui??q uo?????? ?x?? u?op-?pisdn ???

  660. Midget52 says:

    Okay, wow.

    How did dupersude know I put some text in italics?

    Also, upside down text. Should probably address that.

  661. “I said it only makes it slightly more likely”

    View source. Slighty is in italics.

  662. If you’re you smartiful and clever, which part of this sentence is in italics?

  663. Wow. What have I gotten myself into. Log into email and discover 30 new emails from word press. Come on here to discover its just the same topic. Italics. Sigh… Can’t we discuss something more interesting…?

  664. Only fools choose to be emailed updates.

    But okay. I’m aiming to study Physics (and maybe a Philosophy course) at Oxford uni, Keble College. Physics is the best subject, though English, History, Art, Maths and Sports are all great. And I’m smarter than all of you.


  665. Midget52 says:

    How long until you get into uni? Priorities can change. I used to want to be a doctor, until
    I realised that:

    a) I would suck at it

    2) I enjoy music a lot more

    iii) I am good at music

    So, you know, we should know that too.

  666. Bearing in mind all the while that all I’m doing is starting a more interesting line of conversation by being fairly (read: really) obnoxious, I am aware that:

    a) I would be great at it

    2) I have a deep love for Physics and Philosophy (which really do go hand in hand)

    iii) I am good at Physics

    I’m in my final year of GCSEs at the moment, so a couple of years yet to go. And obviously I’m not judging my ability by the fact that I’m acing all my GCSEs – that would just be stupid.

    But I wanted to be a mad scientist by the age of 2, and earned the nickname (to friends of the family) of the professor at the age of 3, so all my life I’ve really pointed towards that. Of course, priorities do change, but I don’t think mine will to too great a degree.


  668. dupersude says:

    I didn’t use the source code G. That’s for wimps.
    No, mamma always said i had a special knack for seein’ things that others can’t see. Like dead people. Oh and the word “part” is in italics, Arreh.

    Now on to the new topic, Midget, you’re good at music? Do you play a specific instrument?

  669. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I can’t even remember which bit I italicised. But I’m sure you’re right, what with you having The Sight, and all.

  670. Midget52 says:

    We seem to be distracted from Arreh’s line of thought. Though, on reflection, it seems to be more a statement than a discussable topic, so let’s go with dupersude:

    I play piano and guitar.

    You make any “pianist” jokes and I swear to Goat I will fill your computer so full of viruses that you will need a new hard-drive just to store all the spam.

  671. dupersude says:

    I wasn’t going to make any pianist jokes, I play piano myself. Granted I’m not the best. I’ve been kind of on-and-off since December. I can play the first half of Fur Elise by Beethoven and a couple of other pieces. But the only FULL song I know is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, which is only ’cause its extremely simple.

  672. Arreh, Ministry of Love says:

    I can play all of Fur Elise, but very little else. How well do you play, Midgey Midge-Midge?

  673. Michael says:

    I’m away for a few days, and am greeted by Italics? Wow, only you guys, only you.

  674. Apprantly i’m to blame, sheesh, I didn’t do nothing, would this face lie to you?

  675. Michael says:

    if F(x)=f(x+1)-f(x) then

  676. Lets make things worse.

  677. Corporal Peanut says:

    Nothing, thank Goat. Only G could actually think that would work. The italics were clearly a result of an interdimensional anomaly occuring in parrallel with him and several other people using Italics in rapid succesion. The resulting burst of radiation was attracted to the opposing charge of the italics. The anomaly created a Time-Lock, trapping us in an area of time where the italics saw widespread use, causing all text to appear in italics. You see, most people think that time is a straight line; It’s really more of a big bubble of… wibbly wobbly, timey wimey… stuff. It’s really quite simple: The confliction/attraction of the italic energy coupled with the radiation of the anomaly (which, opon further study, has turned out to be a rift in the universe) created the Time-Lock, trapping us in this permanent-italics scenarion.

  678. Midget52 says:

    Of course! I knew I should have gotten my timey-wimey detector!

    It goes bing when there’s stuff.

    And, though it’s slightly late, I have been playing piano for around 10 years now. So, you know, I play pretty well.

  679. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    [i]I love the timey-wimey detector! [/i]

  680. Midget52 says:

    This italics stuff is getting slightly annoying.

  681. some random guy says:


  682. some random guy says:


  683. some random guy says:

    It is currently 3:58 in Austin right now… I should go to sleep but I only have a small iron chair to sleep on. GOD HELP ME!!!!

  684. some random guy says:

    I once posted a video on a thousand get, I also posted my first comments… THEY WERE GAY also I apologize for both.

  685. If you see things in italics it means you’re a ghey.

    This is all in normal text for me.

  686. Michael says:

    Arreh, come to think of it, I don’t see any italics at all!

  687. Why are we talking about italics? What italics?

  688. Oh shit, it’s Joey, I thought you were meant to be in the basement?

  689. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Joey, when my father finds out you are missing, the bowling ball with no lube will be the least of your problems.

  690. dupersude says:

    What a coincidence, Joey AND SRG both show up at the same time. And one of them is already wearing out their welcome.

    In other news, Midget, I’ve only been playing since december. Did I say that already? I think I said that already…
    Anyways, even at only playing since december I’ve been on and off ever since. I played it often for a few weeks then went off for a month or so, then played it often again, then went off again. Etc. etc. Now I play it every few days – a week. I should probably practice more often. A lot of people were amazed at how fast i picked it up. That is to say, what i know how to play in Fur Elise now, I learnt how to play within the first week or so of owning a keyboard.

  691. Midget52 says:

    Yeah, it does come naturally to some people. I have worked for long enough that I can make up my own stuff now. Jazz is awesome. Fur elise is awesome too. It’s a fifth grade piece, so, you know, go you!

  692. KingFrozen says:

    Lemme get this straight… i leave you guys for 1 (possibly many more) month(s).



    Also, i don’t like piano for the sole reason i cant play it.

  693. KingFrozen says:

    //from what I read on the wordpress FAQ, this should not be in italics. Probably isnt going to work

  694. dupersude says:

    Thanks midget :D that means a lot. Really.
    I can’t play much else, a few bits and pieces from songs here and there, but the only whole song i can play as i said before is Chasing cars. And that only uses different notes across two octaves throughout the whole song. Maybe I’d get somewhere if I practised more.

  695. Midget52 says:

    Yeah. I used to hate people telling me that. “Do your scales!” “Practice more!”. Then I caught myself saying that to people. I felt sad.

    Sadly, it is the only way to get better. Helps if you enjoy it though.

  696. Actually it would be “Practise”.

    Hope it helps with your piano.

  697. Corporal Peanut says:

    Actually, I play piano, too, and I found that a great way to remember how to play a song is to keep notes on it. It really helped when I began playing songs that required a certain level of hand-eye coordination to be played at the proper speed. With that said, it usually still took me at least a week to perfect a song. I still occasionally play, though.

  698. Do I get the feeling that i’m the only one that doesn’t play a musical instrument?

  699. dupersude says:

    I should probably look into it then. Maybe even get lessons if they’re not too expensive.

    Arreh –

    Corporal Peanut – hehe, just realised your name’s initials are CP. But serious. How high is that level of hand-eye coordination? Another thing i have trouble with is learning to play left and right hand independently. If I learn one hand at a time, I then have to try and learn them together.

    G – I don’t know. Do you?

  700. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    I played the recorder in primary school.
    Suck on that.

  701. dupersude says:

    No thanks, but apparently you did “suck on that”. Zing!

  702. Corporal Peanut says:

    Well, dupersude, I wouldn’t say it’s a high level of hand-eye coordination. What I meant by it was more on the level of having to read notes at a fast pace while keeping your hands at the same speed. This became apparent to me when, for my piano lessons, I was assigned a song called Vianese Waltz. My attempts to play it now feature prominintly in my personal hell as elevator music. Of course, that where the notes came in. I found that if I broke down the song into individual notes and spend time working out more comfortable ways to play the position-switches at the desired tempo that it came much more naturaly. Although, that is my method of learning and yours may differ. Personally I find playing it hands seperatley helps me work out individual hand positions.

    Also, yes, my initials spell CP. Honestly I didn’t notice until now, either.

  703. dupersude says:

    Ah, I see. And yet another thing I can’t do well yet – Read sheet music.
    So far I’ve been learning by ear and eye on youtube videos. I can, to an extent, read sheet music, but i need to use reference points which is apparently very very bad. And the only reference point i know of is middle C. So in order for me to learn a song from sheet music, I have to sit down and decipher what notes are what, and then i label them on the paper in a similar way to Shawn Cheek’s (online piano teacher) “whiteboard method”.

  704. Midget52 says:

    You have to start somewhere. In fact, what you are detailing is pretty much the way I started learning to read music. Do’nt forget the acronyms! They’re helpful, AND slightly childish!

    Every Good Boy Deserves Fruit!
    All Cows Eat Grass!
    Good Birds Don’t Fly Away!

    Good times….

  705. dupersude says:

    I should probably learn those. I don’t know any of them, the only one I’ve heard of is All Cows Eat Grass, and that was included in the sentence of “These are bad for learning to read music, as are reference points”. So that was kind of a mood killer :<

  706. Midget52 says:

    Whoever said that is a bitter person who will live their life musically deficient.

    Not to be negative or anything…

  707. dupersude says:

    The guy who said that is the same one i mentioned earlier, Shawn Cheek. He doesn’t just say they’re bad. He gives his reasoning for why, something about “If you rely on references and things like All Cows Eat Grass you get too used to it and won’t be able to identify individual notes on the sheet as easily.”
    Or something along those lines.

  708. Michael says:

    Could we stop talking about piano? I feel left out.

  709. Dupersude – Practice is the noun, practise is the verb (in standard English, at least). I don’t know if Americans follow that any more, but by god the rest of the world shall.

    Sorry for being pedantic and an arse.

  710. Corporal Peanut says:

    Dupersude, if he says that, please give him this with my regards: [youtube=5hfYJsQAhl0]

    (I hope to Goat that embed works)

  711. dupersude says:

    Well Arreh, you win this time… But I’ll be back..
    And yes… Apologise for the mistake… Go on… It’ll only make everything go much quicker when I execute my plans later.

    CP, I love that movie. And that video. I award you all my internets <3

  712. Midget52 says:

    I’m saving my internets for a special occasion. Though I have held on to my internets for so long now, I may have built it up too much, so I don’t know when to give them away.

  713. Michael says:

    Hey guys, I played bass today and I fucking rock.

  714. Michael says:

    water fire air and dirt


  716. dupersude says:

    Midget, give them to me! Pleasssssssssssse!

  717. Combo breaker?

  718. dupersude says:

    I broke your mother’s combo the night you were conceived.
    Yes that’s right. Have a moment to take that information in.. My son..

  719. Once I hit someone so hard my fist went faster than the speed of light and went back in time and hit them as an embryo and killed them.

    Then who was phone?

  720. Michael says:

    Once I hit someone so hard my fist went faster than the speed of light and went back in embryo and hit them as an time and killed them.

    Phone who was then?

  721. dupersude says:

    He’s swapped a couple words around (four to be precise, “embryo” and “time” in the first paragraph, and “phone” and “then” on the bottom line) to give the effect of his words travelling through time.

  722. Midget52 says:

    Goat, that is genius. That’s humour taken to another level. I wish I was smart enough to get that first try…

  723. inb4 1 year wait again.

  724. I totally set him up for it.

  725. Michael says:

    Thank you, Midget52. In your honour, I will do it again, just for you.

    Genius, Goat is that. That’s humour level to another taken. I wish I was first enough to get that smart try…

  726. dupersude says:

    Your comment made me think of Get Smart. Great movie.

  727. Midget52 says:

    Great TV series, too.


    TV show vs old movie vs NEW movie!

    Who will win?!?!?!?!

  728. Midget52 says:

    I can’t do an Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny without help. Get bickering!

  729. dupersude says:

    I never seen the originals, just the one with rowan atkinson.

  730. Corporal Peanut says:

    I think I saw a few episodes of the show. Never saw either of the movies, though.

  731. I can’t remember what we’re talking about.

  732. dupersude says:

    Get Smart.

  733. Got Milk?

  734. Midget52 says:

    I have some milk, but I need it for my cereal. Would you like a clever milk substitute?

  735. Exactly how clever?

  736. dupersude says:

    Clever enough to pass the basement initiation.

  737. I think we’re all aware that that mostly just requires an ability to allow awful, awful things to be done to you. Not that you really have much choice, but I’ve said too much.

    I’ll take it!

  738. Michael says:

    Want to pay me a visit in my basement?

  739. Pay to visit me a basement in my want?

  740. whitefox says:

    cool man cool

  741. Hot woman hot.

  742. Midget52 says:

    I’m fairly sure that’s the point, yes.

  743. Yes that’s the fairly I’m point, sure.

  744. blackbirdofpeace says:

    I think you all may be sociopaths, but I must say I’m entertained.

  745. You all think I may be entertained, but say I must I’m sociopaths.

    • (chuckle) ok, you’ve had your fun. Let’s try something else now. How do you think Nondrick will finally snuff it? My money’s on “mauled by a troll.”

      • (fun) chuckle, your ok you’ve had. Now something let’s else try. Snuff do you Nondrick will finally think it? My troll on “a money’s by troll.”

  746. Ha, you left out “mauled.” Did it dissipate and coalesce in a parallel dimension or something?

  747. Corporal Peanut says:

    So that’s were that “mauled” came from! I was wondering why my Nega-self called me about it.

  748. Michael says:

    My joke has been really overused now, Arreh. Time to think of something else? inb4 this comment gets overhauled

    • Arreh, last hurrah says:

      My penis has been really overused now, Arreh. Time to penis of penis else? inpenis4 this penis gets penis

  749. I don’t recall that it was your joke.

    Anyway, nobody noticed that I replaced mauled with “troll”? Because I totally trolled that new guy all over everywhere.

    And aren’t you aware that you have to continuously repeat the best jokes before they become funny?

  750. I noticed you used “troll” twice. I guess you pulled the extra one out of the same dimension to which the missing “mauled” went.
    And I’m not a guy.

  751. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Sure you aren’t.

  752. Midget52 says:

    Well, technically, you’re just a name to us. Unless you live in the same country as one of us. In which case: How you doin’?

  753. I live in the US, how about you? I’m a little starstruck right now that y’all are talking to me.

  754. Silly new person.

    You think we have anything better to do?

  755. Probably, but that stuff takes too much effort.

  756. Michael says:

    Just ’cause blackbirdofpeace ain’t male, doesn’t mean blackbirdofpeace is female either… ZING!
    Also, Arreh, maybe I didn’t come up with the joke, but I used it first, and that made you start with it too. So in that sense, it was my joke.

  757. Nope, I’ve been doing it for ages. You may have set off my recent spree, but it was totally through my own free will.


    And you mean to say The Newcomer (their name takes too much effort) is like light – both a wave and a particle at the same time?

    Italics would have worked better, but one doesn’t really notice them nowadays.

    (and yes, I know light is actually neither a wave or particle, it merely has both particle-and-wave-like properties, but shh)

  758. Whats with these males and females and males pretending to be females and females pretending to be males?

  759. Ooh, you got me dude. I thought my becoming irrational and belligerent once a month meant I’m a woman, but it turns out I’m only a werewolf.

  760. THC seems to be losing steam. It’s been…well, a long time since anyone posted. Where are you?! And when do I get dragged to the basement?! Putzy, did you not even notice your 800 get?

  761. Corporal Peanut says:

    It’s not losing steam, it’s just that this topic is getting boring. Speaking of that, I need a werewolf to help me dig up the gold I hid in Dublin. Care to help me?

  762. Surely you could just get the leprechauns to- ah, wait a minute, this must be leprechaun gold. No wonder you need the werewolf help.

    I wasn’t aware you were in that line of business, Corporal.

  763. Corporal Peanut says:

    Well, you see ever since the Great Nut War ended I became embroiled in certain… pusuits of that vein. ‘Course, Brazil Nut incursions put a stop to me continueing my “hobby”, but that doesn’t matter at the moment. You see, I had come into possesion of several kilograms of leprechaun gold and I needed a safe place to hide it. I decided to try and get a hold of some of them, but when I did, they double-crossed me! It turns out the gold had been stolen from them long ago by my grandfather, and they sought to take it back. Long story short, I’ve been sent to Dublin to investigste rumours of Brazil Nut spies, and I will not leave until I have that gold back! They have sealed it in an ancient leprechaun tomb, with powerful enchantments put upon it, allowing only leprechauns and werewolves to enter. I imagine they think this is hilarious, as the only way I could retreive it is if I became a werewolf. But that’s where blackbird comes in…

  764. Midget52 says:

    Though I do not speak of it often, I have experience in the matters of leprechauns. Thus I devote to you the full assets of my estate in pursuit of this goal. Use my television well.

  765. What a serendipitous occurrence! I specialize in leprechaun tombs! Also sex dungeons, storm cellars, prothean ruins, fallout shelters, broom closets, etc.

    Midget, get the tv, this will work very nicely…

    Corporal Peanut, if we do this, what’s my cut? I propose full THC membership (with probationary rights and privileges) and birthday wishes from the entire crew on my birthday this year. And a small percentage of any lucky charms recovered, proportional to the actual danger I encounter.

  766. Corporal Peanut says:

    Well, blackbird, I can get you a recommendation for Hiatus Crew membership, as well as a quarter of any excess loot we gain. I believe that is a fair deal. Now then, we must plan our infiltration carefully, as the treasure is no doubt gaurded by leprechaun guards. If we use Midget’s television to distract them, you can jump through the enchantments and deactivate the magical field. If you don’t know how, I’ll loan you my Manual of Magical Enchantments.

    All things considered (let’s not forget that I’m supposed to be, you know, protecting highly contested neutral ground) I think that we could be safe just winging it.

  767. I’m pretty good at winging it, pun intended.

    MyDays tells me that the week after next is auspicious.
    With the right timing, we won’t need a plan.

    I’ll simply charge in, teeth bared, and rend limb from tiny limb any leprechaun who dares oppose us.

    Sound good?

  768. You are aware that Leprechaun gold is – in this recession we have – now approximately 90% silver, right?

    Just giving you the heads up, B-Bop.

    Though I suppose, if this is old gold, then it may well be more pure. Just wouldn’t want you to die horrifically by touching all that silver.

    And Corporal, I’m aware you’re capable of handling yourself, but keep in mind that werewolves can be a bit crazy. If tries to eat you, I’m sure it’s nothing personal.

  769. B-hop…I like that.
    I leave the looting up to Corporal Peanut, it’s his gold (alloy), so as long as he doesn’t turn on me and shoot me with it…somehow, I should be fine.

    But he would never do that, right? Just as I would never turn on and subsequently consume Corporal Peanut (regardless of his tasty name), or any other member of THC.
    At least, as far as I am able to control my id…

    You’re right, Arreh. Corporal Peanut should be very careful.

  770. Michael says:

    Werewolves? That’s why I always wear a suit of silver under my underpants. Also, garlic necklace for extra safety!

  771. Midget52 says:

    Garlic clashes with my favourite jacket, so I find it easier to never sleep in the same place twice. And daily plastic surgery.

  772. Garlic is for vampires, Michael. I ain’t skurda no garlic.

  773. Corporal Peanut says:

    Arreh- I think B-Bop will be fine, but just in case I’m going to pack a revolver with several silver bullets. Just to be safe.

    Also, I believe the gold is (mostly) pure, as the leprechauns said the gold had been stolen “long ago”. Exactly how long is up for debate, but I think that I should be the one handling the gold.

  774. As I said, the gold belongs to Corporal Peanut, all I ask is for membership and happy birthdays where applicable. And perhaps, eventually, recognition as a female.

  775. I thought you traded the right to be female for being a werewolf?

    And you have to earn invitations from each of THC, not just old Peanut over there, B-bop.

    Pull this stunt off, persuade the good Corporal to cut me in on some of your dirty Leprechaun money, and you can have my vote, no problem.

  776. Michael says:

    What’s that? You want my invite to become a Hiatus member? You have a higher chance to access area 51(if you do, you’ll get my invite)!

  777. That’s… some interesting probability maths right there.

  778. Corporal Peanut, it is in your best interests to help me get Arreh’s approval. Here’s why:

    I’m a werewolf dammit. I make a staunch and loyal ally, and a very churlish enemy.

    Also: I am a girl, even if Arreh won’t allow me to claim it.

    Michael: I have been to Area 51, and I brought you this awesome alien blaster.

    Midget: you make me lol.

  779. Michael says:

    blackbirdofpeace, why are you forwarding it so much that you’re a girl?

  780. Michael; would you like to be denied your very gender? I just want you guys to get your pronouns right should you feel the need to refer to me. But if it doesn’t come up, then never mind. The last thing I want is to make anyone uncomfortable by insisting on a point of contention. I just want to hang out and chat with a group of people who challenge me and amuse me in a way that no one I know in RL does.
    I sense hostility from you. Why?

  781. Aaaaaaaaaagh, I just drank several beers and realized I was too uptight! Sorry Michael. I lose perspective at times. I need a humor fix…guys, you’re the best. All of you, I mean it. I don’t think I can match the Crew’s level of awesomeness, but if you suffer me to remain I may have some humble contribution to make.

  782. Luckily, B-bop, if we only ever refer to you as B-bop and use no pronouns, we can avoid all conflict.

    And Michael’s lovely really, but simply confused as to your intentions with being a girl.

    In other news, the moon is waning, as is my interest in B-bop being a werewolf. You know I only managed to be a cyber-pirate/ninja for a few weeks on here? Later on I was head of the ministry of Love, then the leader of the Italics cult, but that only lasted like a day, tops.

    Point is, being on here will change who you are. I hope you’re ready for it.

    [cue Doctor Who music, because it is dramatic and I like it]

  783. Michael says:

    My point was, that your gender really doesn’t matter. Also I could say that I’m sorry for taking you for one of those extremely irritating Internet women, who REALLY want to make the point that they’re females, only to bask in the attention they will get from male users, and I hate that crap. As it turns out you’re not one of them, you can have half of my invite(you need to do something that will dazzle me to get the other half)!

  784. Whew. After Irrelevant Spam (or should I call her “Biggest Hypocrite of All Time), I guess I really can’t blame you for being wary of me.

    Arreh, I am SO ready to be changed as I am rather bored with being a werewolf. I suck at it anyway. As my name clearly states, I am not quite bloodthirsty enough to be a successful predator. Other werewolves laugh at me. My diet consists primarily of sashimi and energy drinks.

  785. Michael says:

    Welcome to the world of Hiatus, B-bop! Here you can be anything you want(but only for a brief moment)!

  786. Thank you, Michael it’s lovely to be here! Are you officially extending the other half of your invite? And if so, is it rude to ask which part of what I said sufficiently dazzled you?

    Arreh, I’m pretty sure the cult of italics is extant. Unless I’m the only one who sees this? And also, I thought you were the entire Ministry. Either way, I submit to your authority on love and italics. Btw, did I get your invite?

    Don’t know when the rest of the crew will show up. I went to the website, but there were like cobwebs and dust and chirping crickets.

  787. Michael says:

    B-bop, I only welcomed you to our world, not into our Crew. So, yeah, you could always write a 100 word essay about the Crew’s history, or somehow get our website running again, to get the other half of my invite and thus a full membership in the Crew! And then there’s always Premium membership…

  788. It is GMT minus 5 hours in my time zone, and I am nocturnal, so I am getting very sleepy. But tomorrow is a holiday here and I don’t have to work, so I may submit my essay then. Or I may spend the time thinking of other ways to dazzle you. Gnite!

  789. B-bop, you obviously do not understand what Ministry of Love refers to, which means son I am disappoint.

    To even have any chance of getting my invite, you must first find out what the Ministry of Love means, and report back within 24 hours.

  790. Michael says:

    Have a good one, B-bop!

  791. Guhhhhhh, sleep is postponed as I cannot bear for you to be disappoint, Arreh. Ministry of Love is a 1984 reference, meant ironically in that it employed use of torture to enforce love of Big Brother. I haven’t read it since middle school, but as you are such a fan I assure you I will reread it. But probably not today as I am starting to go cross-eyed from sleep-deprivation. Not as young as I once was, you know.

  792. Not exactly a huge fan (preferred Brave New World), but it’s an important reference in its meaningless use.

    There’s a good B-bop, sleep now.

  793. CRAP! I just spilled my energy drink all over the damn room. Hey Michael, it occurs to me to wonder about premium membership and what is included. Hm? Depending on your response, I may compose 200 words or possibly end gang violence in South Memphis.

  794. How about you end gang violence in South Memphis in 200 words?

  795. Well I would, but now that I think about it gang violence is really the only thing South Memphis has going for it. The economy is based on it. If I ended it, what would Yo Gotti and 3 Six Mafia rap about?

  796. Oh B-bop, an elemental mistake.

    In other news, I now plan on typing every third word backwards. Starting after now. For at tsael the next eerht posts.

    I dnemmocer no one esle does the emas, for the ekas of all ruo sanity.

  797. I love it, Herra. It wakes me right up. My name is eceapofdribkcalb!

  798. You yllatot screwed up ruoy name, by eht way.

    And tahw are you gniod – you have a crazy pattern gniog on there.

    Tub at least er’uoy trying, that’s eht main thing.

    (Dna yes, I’m gniyrrac on from ym last post)

  799. Oh noooooo….

    Epic fail.

    I wasn’t following a pattern, per your recommendation, I just wanted to do our names because I thought it would be funny.

    Instead I have dishonored myself.

    I am not worthy of the name ecaepfodribkcalb.

  800. Midget52 says:

    It’s a lucky thing. If we could actually hear each other, that would have been a bitch to pronounce.

    Only gone two days and I nearly missed the recommendation thing! Madam Crow, you shall have my recommendation, under the condition that your next ten posts be in Iambic Pentameter! Good luck…

  801. Er’uoy crazy! She’ll reven do it!

  802. Michael says:

    To get premium membership, please make Arreh stop screwing my eyes with his shitty backwards text! God damn it!

  803. Ah, finally, my three-post-penitence is complete.

    Okay, B-bop, you may continue earning our recommendations.

  804. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Father thinks the woman should return to the kitchen. He’s very old fashioned.

  805. I have no culinary expertise.
    The kitchen is the last place I should go.

  806. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Father insists, he seems very persischhhnm -n-fACGH
    I apologise for that, my father saw what I was writing and felt the need to modify it.

  807. Before I flash my goods I have to ask
    Will doing so impress you, Putzy 4,
    Sufficiently to gain approval thence?
    (To self: is this approval really worth
    My self-respect? I think not) Nay, good sir
    Content yourself with other boobs than mine
    I would forsooth not be a one-night-stand
    As I intend to stick around a while.

  808. Midget52 says:

    Two so far. This one’s got skill. No offense to you other talentless Bozos, of course.

    I may join in the metric task I set. The challenge seems like one I would enjoy.

    So then, Madam Blackbird, answer thus:

    What is the motivation to join us?

  809. If Living in Oblivion is hard
    Then Living without Nondrick’s harder still
    The only thing that seems to fill the void
    Is ell-em-ay-oh at Hiatus Crew

  810. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    How’s my son doing? And guys, don’t forget about the last chick who roamed our sacred shit-stained halls.

  811. Holy fucking hell, it’s Putzy 3!
    You sir are a rock star in my eyes
    Your tales are pure comedic mastery
    They used to keep me laughing ’til I cried.

  812. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    I cannot be swayed by petty flattery. On an unrelated note, you have my vote. My son is not old enough to vote on new members yet.

  813. Putzy 3 has given me his vote!
    The awesomeness of that just blows my mind
    If only I can get through 5 more posts…

    Um, uh,

    da Dum da Dum da Dum da Dum da Dum

  814. Midget52 says:

    3 more shall now be added to your count, though the last I should now rightly disregard.

    But due to the hilarity it brought, it shall be let through, past without a thought.

    These rhyming couplets difficult though to form, are greater challenge to me from the norm.

  815. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Your rhymes fuckin fail
    you can’t accept
    just how awesome I am
    and how you’re losing the bet

  816. If we shadows have offended
    Think but this, and all is mended:
    That you have but slumber’d here;
    While these visions did appear.
    And this weak and idle theme,
    No more yielding but a dream.
    Give me your hands, if we be friends,
    And Arreh shall restore amends.

    Bitches check my flow, you see
    that I don’t need to use no
    Iambic Pentameter
    When stealing from the leader;
    Truth, I choose to rear, in here
    The poetry of Shakespeare.

    I think in future
    I won’t suture
    These shit lines
    In my rhymes –
    Let the master
    Do it faster
    (but just wait
    – get it straight –
    who’s the greatest
    the best, freshest
    slickest at this,
    finds it a diss,
    don’t need pause
    breath, thought, cause:
    the beat flows
    their breath slows
    who steps up
    claims the cup –
    in this group,
    in the loop
    Crew, us
    Gs in hoe
    town, this schmoe
    town. What I
    Mean is by
    My rhymes I
    Want to fry
    Your brains and
    See who’s the best)

    Iambic Pentameter time! Who’s the
    Best rhymer, is what I was getting at.

  817. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Ok then. That wasn’t confusing or dragged out at all.

  818. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Dad! Stop trying to take over! I need to learn how to run the family business, and you aren’t helping!

  819. Midget52, this task is hard
    Methinks I make a shitty sort of bard

  820. Midget52 says:

    And with the sixth comment past, I commune
    Your rhythmic style caters for no tune.

    Luckily, the task that I have set
    Is drawing to a close, limits near met.

  821. Arreh, you’re a puckish kind of guy!
    The end of your last comment made me lol.

  822. I really hate having to do rhymes here.
    I think I waste my time fitting the words.
    Also I sometimes do not rhyme them. Or
    Even put them in couplets, so they end
    On an odd number of lines. Syllables.

  823. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Has cheated me,
    Forcing me to decide upon,
    The woman that I idolize
    Or the hands of an, automaton.

    Without these hands,
    I can’t complete,
    the opera that was captivating her,
    But if I keep them,
    And she marries him,
    He probably won’t,
    Want me dating her.

    Cookie for reference.

  824. Well, Midget never said it had to rhyme
    That’s why I have to say we’re doing fine
    If sometimes our posts rhyme and sometimes not
    No one could truly say we haven’t tried

  825. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Ah hell, I’m doing that whole song now.

    A deal’s a deal, even with a dirty dealer!
    Very well, then I’ll take what I want from Leela!

    Leela, has promised me her hand!
    Fry, you do not understand!

    *Leela steps into spotlight*
    I should have revealed I’d been deafened by bender
    The shame! The shame!
    But I feared you’d stop writing this musical splendor
    Deception’s the curse of my whimsical gender.
    He gave me mechanical ears,
    effective though just a bit garish,
    In return, without shedding a tear, I agreed to give him my haaaaaaaaand…

    *Robot Devil steps forward*
    In mariaaaaaaaage!

    *Fry and Leela gasp*
    That isn’t what I meant!
    That isn’t what I signed!

    You should have checked the wording in the fiiiine!

    I will marry her now and confine her to hell
    How droll! How droll!
    Where Styx is a river, and not just a band
    Though they will play at our reception if all goes as planned…

    Has cheated me,
    Forcing me to decide upon,
    The woman that I idolize
    Or the hands of an, automaton.

    Without these hands,
    I can’t complete,
    the opera that was captivating her,
    But if I keep them,
    And she marries him,
    He probably won’t,
    Want me dating her.

    By the power vested in me by the state of new New Yoooork!

    No! Stop! Take my hands! You evil, metal, dooooork!

  826. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Son, that’s not how men rap. That’s called plagiarism.

  827. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Fourth says:

    Sorry dad.

  828. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    That’s all right, son, just don’t do it again.
    Also, your dog died.

  829. Futurama references! Kick ass!
    Leela is my favorite of all time
    Though Bender can’t be beat for funny quips
    I’d quote one but it wouldn’t fit the rhyme

  830. Sorry for the triple post, you guys
    I really have to get this over with

  831. Done and DONE! Oh yeah!

    Hm…you guys have all gone somewhere without me, haven’t you?

  832. Heheheheheheehehehehe

    We are hiding.


    Midget52’s knee is in my back, though :(

  833. Nooo, I didn’t want an actual smiley there. But shhh now, Arreh.

  834. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    The person who fixes the italics gets a rap and a TALE dedicated to them.

  835. Arreh, you and Midget come out of there THIS INSTANT. Now go play outside like normal people.

    Putzy, what is this power you have over me? I haven’t the faintest idea how to even BEGIN to fix the italics, but I feel like I might stay up for the next three days trying to figure it out.

    I love TALES!

  836. Yay! I <3 you, Arreh! So I think I have 3.5 votes now: Putzy's, Arreh's, and hopefully Midget's since I did make it through 10 comments in iambic pentameter. And half of Michael's.

    Where did Michael go? Hiding?

  837. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Yes, and most certainly not in my basement. Who said he was? If you tell anyone I’ll kill you! I want my lawyer!

  838. Midget52 says:

    Sorry, I capped my internet two days before it renewed. Congratulations Blackbird! You have won my invite. Though I have never heard the word puckish before… Hmmmmm….

  839. A healthy disregard for the english language is always handy, so B-bop does well there.

  840. I didn’t make it up, I swear!! That’s right, I know stuff.

  841. Wiktionary!!

  842. Midget52 says:

    puckishPUHK-ish , adjective;
    1.Whimsical; mischievous; impish.

    Damn, this one’s adroit. I would have sanctioned your invite just for that display of linguistic aptitude.

    Right, I’m done. I, too, know stuff.

  843. He was quoting Robin Goodfellow, aka Puck. So I said he’s puckish.

  844. Midget52 says:

    If you ever write a book, please send me a copy.

  845. Of course, Midgie. It will be a most awesome sort of a book, transcending genre and defying milieu. It will be truly universal, relatable by every living man, woman, child, hermaphrodite, and Goat. It shall be about love, loss, robots, and all the truly universal themes. And you shall be a key character.

    Look for it in about 25 years. I’m very lazy.

  846. Corporal Peanut says:

    Twenty five years, you say? Wait right there, I’ll be back in a few seconds…

    *Interesting sounds that are in no way related to time travel*

    And I’m back! Great book by the way.

  847. Peanut, your very presence in the future has affected it.

    Now I HAVE to write the book. Damn.

  848. Midget52 says:

    Be sure you portray me accurately. Be sure to capture my washboard abs, how by biceps ripple and bulge at the seams of my shirt. Also my incredible intellect, my completely positive personality, my profession as astronaut-slash-mountain climber-slash-quantum physicist. And glasses.

    Very little of that was true.

  849. Glasses are HOT!

  850. Midget52 says:

    I agree completely! Flattery will get you everywhere.

  851. You’re adorable. I feel affection for you, Midgie.

    And I already know about the dead babies, so that can’t pop up and surprise me at an awkward moment.

  852. Peanut, since you visited the future I don’t suppose you brought back the cure for chronic italics?

  853. The journey to cure italics is not in time. It is one inside yourself.

    Yes, I’m talking about venturing through your intestines.

  854. On that note…

    I probably won’t be the one who fixes this.

  855. I would have thought you’d have overcome your fear of the human intestines in Putzy’s cellar.

  856. KingFrozen says:

    Arreh, you do not mention that place!

    How *bash* many *smash* times *bam* must we tell you *once more for good measure*.

    BBOP, nice to meet you. Also, don’t refer to him as midgie. He’ll get upset. And sulky. You won’t like him when he’s sulky.

    On a side note, since intestines were mentioned, has anyone here done anything interesting over the weekend? The most awesome part of my weekend was discovering that my internet limit reset on monday…

  857. Wait, so you’re telling me I can’t mention Putzy’s *smack* Cellar *crash* ever? *crack*

    And had friends round, nothing much. Got a maths exam today that I should be revising for.

  858. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    English exam tomorrow. Where is your god now?

  859. Oh dear. @Midget, sorry if I caused offense.

    @KingFrozen, I’m honored to meet you!

    @Arreh, I like how you say “maths.” We don’t have that word here. Also, is revising like studying?
    Glad you had a good weekend.

    Mine was a bit crappy as my 360 ate my level 50 Mordecai character on Borderlands.

  860. Midget52 says:

    Kingfrozen underestimates my capacity for vague, maturity-like emotions. You may call me Midgie, if you wish. Of course, only one may refer to me as such at any one time, lest the universe be torn asunder.

    It has taken me nearly half an hour to send this comment. Treasure it, as with the way my connection is going, I may not been seen in a while.


    Midgie, don’t go…

  862. Maths was easy, yes, revising is your studying, and no, you don’t get dibs on anything.

    Is B-bop a fully fledged foundling in the Hiatus Crew now, then?

    Because she’s pretty great, and even her shortest comments somehow manage to thaw our cold, icy hearts of coldice.

  863. :D

    Arreh, well done! I doubt I would find maths easy.

    I sure can talk pretty though. That’s one thing I have going for me!

    Actually, I don’t really talk that pretty. I have a bit of a southern drawl. Oh no…I must have SOMETHING going for me…

  864. Oh, I know what! Arreh thinks I’m great! That’s something HUGE that I have in my favor.

    Thank you, Arreh. Your approval has saved my Monday.

    And I defer to your seniority in the matter of Midgie.

  865. kingfrozen says:

    You actually care what Arreh thinks about you? Wow. Are the people here like, whats the word…

    what do you have like 3000 of on facebook? pages… groups… statuses… FRIENDS!

    Thats it! You think we are friends? This is the internet! We are all homosexuals who want to make windchimes out of your genitals. Isn’t that right guys?

    Guys? Hello?


  866. Je do not comprends.

    But he’s right, this is the internet. You must not care too much.

  867. Care? About you guys? Please. That’s what my RL friends and family are for.

    You guys are merely an interesting diversion…


  868. It’s hard, but that’s the path you need to take.

    Hey, maybe if you pretend for long enough, it’ll become the actuality.

  869. kingfrozen says:

    Yeah! We could all move in together! And start a family. With a dungeon! Wait.. scratch that.

    With a laundry! With chain hanging 3ft from the ceiling which is 9ft tall. And with the odd hook on the wall that can disconnect. But the room would need to be sound proof. I make a lot of noise when I… launder.

    Lemme show you..

    *chainsaw grinding interspersed with shrieks of agony and horror*

    See? Nobody wants to hear that. Also, we need a projector TV because they can be huge and still look focused.

  870. DIBS ON THE TV!

    I want to play Fallout: New Vegas on it. Just while you’re busy with the “laundry” of course.

  871. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    I really feel the love guys! Let’s all go into my basement for…drinks. Flavoured drinks!

  872. After B-bop, of course. Ladies first.

  873. Midget52 says:

    Right, I waited nearly an hour for the page to load. This is gonna be good.

    I find this place good for discovering people whom I can pester to allow me to resupply on my eventual round-the-world trip. We’re very multicultural.

    Let’s see, we have (Including members not present):

    -4 Australians
    -An Eastern European
    -Two Americans (One urban, one Southern)
    -An Englishman (I think)
    -Other people

    Maybe not so multicultural. Is anyone here from a non-Western country?

  874. Guys…I’m back. I think I had a horrible nightmare that I can’t recall. And I’m all battered and bloody like a super mutant made sweet love to me with a gatling laser then threw me down three flights of stairs. WTF happened…head hurts…

  875. It, uh, it’s best if you don’t speak about it.

    And yes, I’m an Englishman, so you’re welcome to come into my castle and replenish your supplies on your journey.

    We’ve got a whole spare flat (2 bedrooms, bathroom, study, kitchen) around the side of our house that we never use, so you can stay up there. No one would even know you were here (and we have an “understanding” with the local police, so if you need some “help”, just “say” so).

  876. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    The Putzingburg residence is always open to members of the Crew. The basement is open at night as well. We have never been robbed.
    So. Guys. How about a sleep over at my place?

  877. Corporal Peanut says:

    Actually, I’m pretty sure I’m Canadian. Unless America annexed Canada while I wasn’t looking. Sadly being Canadian means the only thing I own of interest would be my vast underground fortress disguised as a maple syrup factory. We don’t get that many visitors.

  878. kingfrozen says:

    Hm… Arreh, I know we have had our differences in the past but I wanna be British toooooo!

    Can you teach me? PLZPLZPLZPLZPLZ!!

  879. Come now, kingfrozen, wouldn’t you rather I teach you how to be Southern? It’s really awesome because people massively underestimate your intelligence based on your accent. I can teach you that accent!

    And also they assume you’re a racist.

    Hm…disregard. None of that is the least bit awesome.

    Arreh, teach me how to be British too! Plzplzplzplz etc.

  880. youjustlostit says:

    >.> You’ve degraded into pathetic nothings. No wonder Michael and dupersude are no longer about.

    Also, I’m Cornish, which resides NEXT TO England.

  881. >>Implying the Hiatus Crew could actually degrade.

    And of course I can teach you guys to be British. I’ll just give the queen a quick ring and she can give you all knighthoods over the weekend.

    Then we’ll have tea and scones, and ta da! You now know the basics of being British.

  882. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    youjustlostit, you degraded with us. THERE IS NO ESCAPE

  883. I don’t feel degraded. I feel pretty frickin great!

  884. Midget52 says:

    I feel slightly dizzy!

    Just to be clear, it IS the Southern US, right?

    • Yep, southern US, home of the king thankyaverramuch.

      I think I need a list or a soundoff or something because I’m having trouble getting the hiatus crew geography straight.

      Arreh is English,
      Putzy is Australian,
      Peanut is Canadian,
      I’m American…

      that’s all I really know.


  885. kingfrozen says:

    Air hair-lair. (oh, hello)

    Am i successfully british now?

    And degraded? like that chick in my laundry?

  886. Midget52 says:

    Awesome. We updated at the same time! If I didn’t know better…

    *Runs and checks windows*


  887. Oh, I fully accept that I am as degraded as you. It saddens me.

    B-Bop: Cornwall is in the South of England.

    Frozen: You stole that from a hilarious play, didn’t you? Also, no – she’s DECOMPOSED.

  888. Thank you, but I know where Cornwall is, silly :b

    I just hadn’t realized you are Joey. I’m slow today, okay?

    So that’s two Brits, a Canuck, and an Aussie that I’m sure of…and myself, a southern belle. Ah dew decleah!

    Charmed to meet you Joey :)

  889. I’m sure you are. >.>

  890. Can you teach me to be Cornish?

  891. Simply done. Refuse to believe Cornwal is part of any other county, it is a country of its own. Develop a deep love of pasties. Use phrases like “my lover” and speak as such: “It were me tra’er (tractor) that hit it, it were.” Boast proudly of your heritage, and call anyone from Plymouth a “janner”. Support England in the World Cup though.

  892. Wow, that sounds deeply awesome!

    It’s funny, but being Cornish sounds quite a lot like being southern in the US. Interesting parallels…

  893. I bet they are interesting. >.>

  894. You’re quite cagey, aren’t you. Mysterious…

  895. You’re quite nice aren’t you? Too nice… >.>

  896. What, you don’t like nice people?

  897. They’re suspicious, m’dear.

  898. Oh, you with your suspicions. If being a mean would make me less suspicious, then I’m sad for the state of the world.

    I am what I am. I’ve been a less upbeat person in my life, and I didn’t like myself then. I realized it takes more courage, and speaks better for my character, to be more positive, compassionate, open-minded and open-hearted.

    Lest you think I am a wide-eyed naïf, I assure you I am not. I simply choose to be what you call “too nice” because I like myself better that way, and I’ve found that quite often you get what you give.

  899. You don’t forget, because I never said.

    I am 29, I will be 30 this Halloween. And you?

  900. Hah! I’m 13, I’ll be 14 this July. So, born on Halloween, eh?

  901. Wow, you’re younger than I thought.

    Yep, I was born on Halloween and I have a twin brother so my parents liked to joke that they got a trick and a treat!

  902. Bahahahahaha! I used to wonder that a lot. It was never specified…

    So when in July is your birthday? My mother and my sister-in-law are both Cancers, and I get along quite well with them.

    • =D Right on the edge between Cancer and Leo – 23rd July. I usually count myself as Leo however.

  903. I like cusp people. They’re a bit complicated. Also, my moon is in Leo so…you know, I get it. The Leo mentality. Very warm and generous, Leos.
    Betcha can’t tell I used to be heavily into astrology :)
    Waaaaay back when I was your age…

    So I might be just a lil freaked out if I turn out to be the oldest person here, especially if it’s by a sizable margin…

  904. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    Well you’re definitely older than me, I’m only 16.

  905. I bet you are B-Bop. And the only female. And very, VERY, nice. I smell A PEDOOOOO. xD

  906. I’m glad you look out for yourself, Joey. I hope my step-daughter will be as smart about these things as you are when she’s your age.

  907. Midget52 says:

    Dammit. I enjoyed being in the top two oldest here. Well, back to being an immature sod, I guess.

    My internet’s back, by the way. Also, I use the term “Sod” to mean “Clump of dirt”, not the other meaning.

  908. Eh, I’m kidding, you’re probably a nice enough young lady, and it’s not like we’re gonna give you our home addresses anyways. :p Step daughter you say? How old is she now?

    • She’s 8. She’s really awesome. I’m raising her right if I say so myself. She’s smart and hilarious and loves video games.

      And thank you for calling me young :)

      • Well, how modest of you. xD Reminds me of my step-sister. Also, 30 IS young. Wait until you’re 42. Or, 60, like my dad’ll be this year.

  909. Well. Midgie, how old are you? And who is the oldest? And how old is the oldest?

  910. Midget52 says:

    Give me 17 days and I can vote. Dupersude is about a year or so older than me. And the rest of the crew are little whippersnappers who don’t know how good they got it, dag nabbit!

  911. Ooooooooooohhhh… (pained moan)

    I feel so ooooold…

    Maybe I can be the hiatus crew den mother or something.

    Just call me mama b-bop…

  912. Midget52 says:

    Age is an abstract here, B-Bop. All our respective situations are a moot point in the face of the anonymity of the internet. For example:

    I live in Australia, have twelve cats and must eat twelve kilos of butter a day or the ants will take over.

    I live in Tenochtitlan, where I work as a fishmonger whilst simultaneously solving supernatural mysteries with my kooky canine sidekick. I recently aquired a boat licence, allowing me to actually catch fish to sell.

    I live in Peru, the perfect place for my rocket base, from which I intend to launch a intercontinental ballistic missile at the suburb of Kemang, Jakarta, due to a past misdemeanour.

    Any part of those stories could be true.

  913. Midget52 says:

    Except for the butter thing. I don’t like butter that much.

  914. @Joey: to which Putzy comment are you referring? I don’t mind sharing, if you promise not to use what you learn to steal my identity.

    I am 5’5″ tall, weigh 106 lbs, have long black hair, brown eyes, and medium light skin tone. My father is of English descent and my mother is Cherokee.

    I have a birthmark and three tattoos, but I’m not describing them just in case you are planning to steal my identity.


    @Midgie: I’m guessing you live down under, but as for the veracity of all that other…no idea.

    Isn’t it autumn there? It’s going to be 97 degrees here today.

  915. Lmfao! Well, I’m not fat, nor am I a mutant.
    However, beyond innocent curiosity I don’t see why it matters, since it’s been established that I’m waaaaay too old for even the oldest among you.

    • I most certainly am amazing curious about stuff. And you think that now, but this IS the internet. :D

      • Hahaha, you have a point. Maybe I’m the only one who’s being honest…
        As long as you guys keep making me laugh (and don’t try to stalk/murder me and/or steal my identity) you can all be whatever you want.

      • Well, I’m very good at being racist (but I don’t mean it), and marginally obsessed with Hitler… If you wanna know what I look like, ask away. :p

  916. I don’t much care for racism myself as I see it far too often where I live
    But I do know how to have a sense of humor about things.

    What do you look like?

  917. I look… like Ron Weasley apparently. xD

  918. Hahaha! Cute

    I don’t have any videos on YouTube. Maybe I should get some…

  919. I load up this page, and find about a bajillion new updates. I thought, at last, the Hiatus Crew is coming out of its shell, there’s been a fantastic conversation or something.

    But no. It’s just Joey slobbering all over B-bop like a puppy on crack.

    You got puppy-slobber all over our site, Joey.

    I think, perhaps, Joey needs to pay a visit to the new-generation Putzy.

    In other news, I’m getting a Dinner Jacket (Tuxedo to you foreigners), and was just wondering if that particular piece of clothing gave me any specific powers? Obviously capes allow you to fly, silk dressing gowns allow you to be a playboy, and top hats allow you to be British. Anyone know anything about Dinner Jackets?

  920. I’m severely limited in what I can do at the moment as I am between computers and am therefore doing everything on my mobile phone. Try to imagine for a moment the exquisite frustration of that…
    However, I put a pic of myself on my blog, so if you click on my name you should be able to see it…

  921. Not that I tried to look at it or anything, but it won’t let me look at it.

    Even when I log in with the account I most certainly did not create just for this.

  922. youjustlostit says:

    Your site’s all protected and the like, m’dear.

  923. *sigh*

    Sorry for the delay, guys, but I FINALLY got my privacy settings fixed. The blog itself is pointless, it was meant to be private rantings lol so you needn’t waste time on it. But the pic is there, try it again.

  924. Lol you sweet-talker! I’m not a perfect specimen by, say, Hitler’s standards, but I’m not a fat mutant either.

    So that’s me, and you have a face to put with the name.

  925. Is my phone playing tricks? I don’t see anything here…
    I’m assuming you pasted song lyrics. Perhaps you’d better just tell me what the song is.

  926. If you get a chance to, you should go to Beale Street. There are bars all along it and live blues in every one of them.

    You know something funny? I’ve never been to Graceland.

  927. *grinds teeth*

    This would never have been acceptable back in the Golden Age.

  928. Hey Arreh, what’s the occasion that requires a tux? Are you getting married?

  929. Well, if I get a chane I will. Also, Arreh, shyadupp.

  930. Went to MSN without me again, didn’t you?

  931. Sergeant Peanut says:

    Okay… this couldn’t have happened in the last sixteen hourns I slept. Excuse me for one…moment…

    How did I get a promotion in the last sixteen hours?!

    Wait, it’s all coming back to me… There were… leprechauns, and treasure, and time travel and werewolves and Daleks and I’m gonna stop before I go insane.

    Anyway, I’m going to try not to miss anything else in the next sixteen hours.

  932. Sarge, I hope the gold you got was worth it.

    B-bop, it’s just our “prom”. Going with pretty much the hottest girl in school, though, so gotta look the part.

    • >.> School Prom, eh? So, will you be misplacing your cherry, or have you been there done that?

      • Aha, you have a sweet way of putting things.

        Not really an issue for me, to be honest. Want her to have a good time, maybe I’ll have gewd tiems after, maybe not. I’ll certainly have a nice after-party, you could say that.

        S’life, man.

  933. some random guy says:

    God of war is fun. Also, I’m leaving. I Can’t keep up anymore. I post once and next time I come back there had been 800 MORE COMMENTS. So yeah. I had a great time screwing around here, thanks a lot and I’ll see you in hell! MUAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!

  934. Oh I remember prom! It was fun I think, it’s hard to remember though because I drank quite a bit.

    Have fun Arreh! Don’t drink and drive! And use protection where necessary!

    In other news…I have pizza :)

  935. kingfrozen says:


    Also, random guy, you will be missed. I remember when you did that thing that you did at the place where you did it. Good times…

    Arreh, you bastard! How can you get a girlfriend! You’re on the internet after all. If you’re going to lie at least make her a brazilian supermodel or something.

  936. @Arreh, which Bond are you?

    @kingfrozen, I HAD pizza but the other people in my house ate it all.

    Also: I am a Brazilian supermodel!

  937. ROFLMFAO!!!

    Ahem. Sorry. I just posted another pic on my blog that was taken last year on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. In the pic are my mother, me, and…A LEPRECHAUN!

    Hey, Sarge, what’s that he’s holding?!

  938. I’ll probably become Pierce Brosnan, I think, or maybe old Sean Connery.

    And sorry, KF, I mean, uh, I haven’t got any friends, and am not going to the prom because, uh, girls explode on contact with me. Does my lying make you feel better?

    And B-bop, none of us are quite old enough to drive, though I’m only a few months off. You are definitely pushing for brood mother, I see, though it’ll never work.

  939. Oh. Sorry :(

    I really wasn’t trying to be your mother, just your friend.

  940. Yes, yes, you look very pretty.

    And the two women to your right are also pleasant looking.

  941. Picture? Alright, I’ll take a…look… Excuse me, I have to make a call.

    *numbers dialing*

    Bill? Yeah, it’s me; Listen, I need to borrow Jack’s crossbow-…

    What do you mean he doesn’t have it?! I thought I told him to- you know what? Never mind, I’ve got another one. Does he still have the silver and cold iron arrows? Good, ’cause our jolly green friend couldn’t stay away from our side of the rainbow.

    Meet me in the Shamrock and Thistle, standard transfer procedure. Our mutual friend will be there at 12:23 AM, tonight. Be there with the arrows, and we’ll make sure that the traitor does not cross us again…

    Ahem, thank you for waiting.

  942. kingfrozen says:

    holy shit. Its been like, a whole day! Where are you guys? Did i do something wrong? PLEASE COME BACK!


    Also… you just lost. sorry

  943. Hrm. Neat picture. Not meaning anything by this, but your mother doesn’t look much like you.

  944. I was at work :p

    Glad that’s over.


    Fallout: New Vegas still MONTHS away…

    I need to be entertained in the interim. Get to it, guys.

  945. Shan’t. You can’t make me.

    You’re not my real father.

    • Muahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!

      What you just said entertained me exceedingly.

      You have fallen right into my trap.

      • Thanks for upsetting me right before my big history exam.

        When I find myself working the rest of my life in a chippy, I’ll remember this and think of you.

  946. Aw, don’t be mad, I was just kidding. I wasn’t entertained, not even a little bit, in fact I was very very bored…

    What’s a chippy?

  947. It’s a chip shop.

    I won’t really work in one of those.

    In other news, I’ve got a summer job working over at CERN.

  948. Well, congratulations!!! Are you super excited? Did you squeal when you found out? XD

  949. kingfrozen says:

    I sure as hell would have. Isn’t CERN the guys with the large hardon collider…

    shit. I totally did not mean to type that but i made a vow NEVER to delete a word i have typed ito this box. So i wont.

    Its a hadron by the way, just if i confused anyone.

  950. Yeah, it’ll be pretty damn great.

    Hmmm. My life sounds pretty good, actually.

    How’re all you guys doing?

  951. blackbirdofpeace says:

    This comment section seems to be kicking my phone’s ass.

  952. When he himself might his quietus make.

  953. some random guy says:

    Only one of you failed the gay test. HA. I said to myself, whowever talks about my final post is gay! The game. You just failed that too.

  954. kingfrozen says:

    Today is (in my world anyway) obligatory plug day!

    Has anyone heard of Least I Could Do? Its a web comic. Updates frequently. Started in 2003 so plenty of old ones to read as well.


  955. Midget52 says:

    Jaysus and Begorrah! (Whatever that means) We shall have no product placement here! Life’s Good without product placement to bother us Fresh Food People! The Burgers are Better without your all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce cheese, pickles, onion, on a sesame seed bun. There’s Something Better Every Day!

    Right, I’m done.

  956. blackbirdofpeace says:

    Suddenly I’m very hungry…

  957. Midget52 says:

    Has anyone else noticed B-Bop’s icon has changed? A little bit suspect, if you ask me…

  958. kingfrozen says:

    Something to do with a phone?

  959. Midget52 says:

    Stop making sense when hi-jinks may ensue!

  960. I’m still me, Midgie. WordPress mobile is giving me shit, not letting me access my dashboard and stuff. It’s taken me upward of 15 minutes to get here the long way.

  961. And now the issue seems to have resolved itself. Wtf? I told you it was capricious.

  962. Midget52 says:

    Well, yes, I figured as much, but I saw a chance for hi-jinks and I leapt at it. You can’t blame me for trying…

  963. Hi-jinks, ay?

  964. You really like music, don’t you? Who are your favorites?

    • Oh, there are various ones, for different genres. However, I suppose notable bands are The Script, Relient K, and Plain White T’s.

      • I saw Reliant K at the Memphis in May Beale Street Music Festival several years ago. had never heard of them before that, but they were really awesome. I haven’t heard much from those other two you mention.

      • =D The Script did “Man Who Can’t Be Moved”? And Plain White T’s did the famous “Hey there Delilah”.

  965. Oh yeah, that song was everywhere for a while. I haven’t heard the Script song but I’ll check it out.

    My favorites are the Killers, Tool, Radiohead, Muse, the Strokes, and Modest Mouse. Also the theme song from Pani Poni Dash that goes “mawaru mawatteku ai ai aa…”

    That song always disperses my gloom clouds.

  966. Thank you :D

  967. Great Goat, it’s just one big love fest in here.

    If, when I’m reading your posts, I happen to projectile vomit, you can both split the cleaning bill.

  968. Hmm, if I were a guy I’m pretty sure that would be called friendliness. But since that disgusts you, Arreh, perhaps you prefer hostility? How about…

    You’re a jerk!

    I’m sorry you had to see that side of me.

  969. Midget52 says:

    I am SHOCKED.

    How did we have a discussion on music without me? Bring it back, dammit!

  970. kingfrozen says:

    Midget, just because you like music doesn’t mean that music likes you.

    Music is something to be enjoyed by all and NOT just you . Unless your a stalker. Do you stalk music midget?

  971. Midget52 says:

    That would be incredibly difficult. I accept your challenge!

  972. So what is it Midgie? Your favorite music I mean. Don’t be shy.

  973. Midget52 says:

    *breathing heavily* I like… Tim… Minchin… and the John Butler Trio… as well as… most… Jazz…

    *Fumbles for binoculars*

    Yeah, that’s right, baby, you like it half-diminished with a suspended second, don’t you?

  974. Midget52 says:

    Thank christ SOMEONE here likes them. I seem to be the only one in a 75 Kilometre radius who likes them around here.

  975. Indeed, this is Arreh disgust-worthy.

  976. Ich aime them.

  977. Midget52 says:

    Right: German, Japanese, Spanish. Saya Bagus Sekali?

  978. Gomen nasai, wakarimasen deshita. Mõ sukoshi yukkuri hanashite IN ENGLISH kudasai. Please.

  979. Midget52 says:

    I realise I could run that through a translator, but I’m gonna assume that was a request for English conversation and move on.

    How’s things?

  980. Ick sprekken ins zie auslaufden, unt ich schlieferglossen.

  981. Guten tag?

  982. Keine deutch, zu auschloff.

  983. Bah. Doitsugo wa dekimasen, sore hanashimasen. Jibun de eigo ga hanashitai onegaishimasu. The only German word I know is gronen bonen.

    This has to stop!! What did you say Arreh?

  984. ???????????????????????!

  985. @Sarge: Yoku dekimashita! :D I wish I could do kanji and kana on my phone.

    @Midgie: how did you come to know Indonesian?

  986. Just saw this on the news. Pretty typical of my hometown. I laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughed! XD

  987. KingFrozen says:

      • GAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA Hahaha haha. Fricking awesome.
        I was relieved that the puppy was ok.

        Also: where did the puppy come from? Was he keeping it in his pocket for just such an occasion?

        Hey kingfrozen, I read your blog and spammed all over it. Prepare to be pestered for updates.


  988. Unstuud frau B-bop esse ins die zommer funf naut-flossen, unt mitte frau Joey est zie sweinhunt gefahrer.

    Unst mit der kingfrozen, wie sumenhaus isnt es zie mortkompfer.

    Es ist auch scheisse.

  989. Da, unt sie auben ist auch mijne aussfluff.

    Da, ick sprekken van de lifde.

    Unt van der sprouchsen ick goflaurer, da?

    Njet. Geen.

  990. Ich weiß nicht, was zum Teufel du sagst!

  991. Traussig, ick kan nicht sprekke deutch.

    • It’s very sexy when you speak gibberish, but I’m finding that I enjoy our interactions more when there’s actual communication taking place.

      So…English? Please?

  992. Hello kingfrozen. You are cool.

    Hello Midgie. You are interesting.

    Hello Sarge. You are an accomplice.

    Hello Putzy. You are amusing.

  993. Hello Joey. Sometimes you are shit, but also sometimes I like you.

  994. Hello B-bop. You are odd but I like you.

  995. :D

    You were aware that you were torturing me, right? That was intentional?

  996. Of course.

    Take it as a compliment that I view you worthy of torture.

    Far worse is the hell of being ignored, and slipping into nothing.


    • So my adjective is “odd,” hm? I suppose there are worse things to be (such as ignored please don’t ever do that again I felt like I was getting smaller).

      When is prom? I want to see you in the tux. If you want. If that’s too nosy then sorry and never mind.

  997. Well, it’s hard to call someone odd amongst company such as this.

    You’re odd in a less creepy, less sociopathic, less psychotic way. Which is good, really.

  998. Michael says:


  999. Then I am forced to assume that you said as follows: you think I am hot, brilliant, funny, and 90% superior to 90% of women worldwide, and if current obstacles were no obstacle then circumstances would certainly be different.

    Haha, assuming things is fun because it makes an ass out of you.

    Not me though.

  1000. Michael’s back!

    Yay Michael!

  1001. That better be the blood of innocents.

  1002. Midget52 says:

    I personally prefer essence to blood. It has a richer taste. But it does have a higher piety content, which gives me heartburn.

    • Well if you hadn’t spoiled your appetite with all that zealotry earlier, you’d have room for your piety, which is high in fiber. Good for the guts you know.

  1003. So, sow, though, your boat.

  1004. Happy Father’s Day, Putzy 3

  1005. My father is not here. He’s in Germany, or Denmark at the moment. BUT I AM STILL FULL OF BLOOD SO IT DOESN’T MATTER

    /manly tear

  1006. Michael says:

    B-Bop, the reply button.

    Also, to answer your question,

  1007. Michael says:

    Never use the reply function.

  1008. Ok.

    Why not?

  1009. …?

    :) Joey, you are adorable. But you have to stop peeping in my window.

  1010. Michael says:

    B-Bop, I thought you had read all comments?

  1011. I have read them all at least once. And I sense you’re about to reprimand me for forgetting some key point re: our current topic of discussion. Before you do, I’d just like to say:

    I’m deeply sorry for failing to retain the pertinent information. In my defense…

    I clicked on your link. I gave in to curiosity in spite of my better judgment.

    Now that image has supplanted all memories from before.

    • When I first appeared I replied to so many old comments that Michael went off on one, along with many other members, practically destroying The Hiatus Crew. Of course, they reformed, and I have been branded as the antagonist ever since. Also, I’ll never stop! Your new lounge furniture looks GREAT from the lawn by the way. And FINALLY: Doctor Who! Dicuss.

  1012. :( I can’t. We don’t have that here.

  1013. Michael says:

    Grate, on another note though, my headphone cable keeps curling up and it’s getting really annoying.












  1015. gone

  1016. Michael says:

    I hate it too, Arreh. Fucking smokers ruining my day. To counter it though, I usually cough extra loud to make sure the smoker hears it, when walking past them. Makes them go all pink.

  1017. @Michael: have you tried taping them to your head? The cables, I mean.

    @Arreh: that was quite poetic.

  1018. Michael says:

    I mean the cable that is connected to my keyboard(yeah I have a cool keyboard like that), and this cable then connects with the headphones. So, taping them to my head wouldn’t be a good idea, really.

  1019. Ooohhh, I see your point.


    Hilarious mental image though, isn’t it?

  1020. coded

  1021. Arreh! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

    WHY, GOD? WHY?!

  1022. Midget52 says:

    ________/ _________/ _________/ _________/ __
    / / / /

    He’s ALIVE!!!

    (That is what he meant by coded, right?)

  1023. Not sure, but that’s how I took it.

    Arreh’s been very cryptic lately

  1024. vlaggen



  1025. That’s right, Arreh, vlaggen em ab, definitely

    (been drinking, I expect)

  1026. dutch



  1027. Absolutely, darling, I concur. Now wouldn’t you like a cup of coffee or a nice lie down?

    I have an embarrassing confession. I loved Toy Story 3.

  1028. Dupersude says:


  1029. Midget52 says:

    I am seriously considering going to see that movie. Also, SYDNEE BETTAR THAN MELBOURNES FTW TROLOLOLOLOLOL.

  1030. Do it, Midgie, it’s AWESOME!

  1031. Midget52 says:

    Can you prove it?

  1032. Negative. That’s an opinion, not a fact.

    It made me happy, so I think it may make you happy too.

    I got all green lights on the way home today :D

  1033. I’m starting to think I may have driven everyone away. So I’m just gonna stop for a while.

  1034. Midget52 says:

    No! Stopping solves NOTHING! We sometimes go through lapses. It’s due to our collective neuroses, the sheer weight of which could knock the sun out of orbit.

    Also, I realise it’s an opinion. If you can’t prove it, can you at least QUANTIFY it?

  1035. Michael says:


  1036. Putzy Von Putzingburg The Third says:

    You are now aware that you are a brain.

  1037. Midget52 says:

    Unless, of course, you are not.

  1038. I went to London. I bought a Heat magazine. This is all.

  1039. On a related note to Putzy, you’re now aware that you have a fucking skeleton inside your body, and you can’t escape it. A fucking skeleton.


  1040. Midget52 says:

    Well damn.

    Also, “Heat”? I didn’t know you played for THAT team, Joey. You must know people in the theatre, if you know what I mean…

  1041. em


  1042. xD Midge, I went to London to watch Billy Elliot in the theatre. xD Also, I bought it because of the advert.

  1043. Hey Midget52? Didn’t I see you with people in the theatre? If you know what I mean…

  1044. Midget52 says:

    Right, Antaru. If you’re looking for a way into the group, you have mine if you can tell me what show I was referencing.

    Otherwise, yes, I do know people in the theatre, but not in THT way. Though some of them ARE that way…

  1045. Thanks Midget, I was kinda hoping everyone would just ignore that new guy and pretend he was always there…

    And I didn’t know you were referencing a show, I was just kinda going along with the joke. Besides I used to comment on here a while ago but got bored when nondrick went on hiatus.

  1046. So…

    Can I join?

    please? I’ll be your bestest friend!

  1047. Midget52 says:

    My offer still stands. GET RESEARCHING!

  1048. Michael says:

    You have my invite if you can make me laugh. Or, write a 255 word essay on the Hiatus Crew(I’m still waiting on that one, I wanna see what you guys are going to write!).

  1049. KingFrozen says:

    Well, not that my votes count because I come in here about as frequently as… um… whats a simile that would put me as coming in here so rarely and when I do come in I might as well not have been here because it changed so much without me?

    Anyway, I offer my vote to welcome Antaru.

    Off topic: What made you guys pick your names? I know we already did this but I forgot. So, lets do it again.

    I got my name when I was starting high school. I needed an email address and had been recently introduced to Warcraft III. I loved the lichs in that game and I really wanted to rule something.

    Kings rule stuff, lichs are frozen. Kingfrozen! Yeah, totally stupid thought path but 6 years later, I still love the name.