Living in Oblivion

Walk For the Cure

The crap weather continues as I slowly clank my way south to begin my new quest: to rid myself of wolf parasites that have infested my joints. Man. Picking flowers to cure wolf cooties. Did Aragorn have to deal with this kinda shit?

Right away, I can tell this isn’t going to go very well. The landscape is green and grassy, but there aren’t a whole heck of a lot of ingredients around. I gather what few I find, but nothing that bears the disease-curing properties I so desperately need for my knees and elbows.

I pass through Harlun’s Watch, a small, seemingly pointless village with no shops or inns, head down to the Reed River, where I hope to find more plants around the water’s edge. Nothing doing. I discover a cavern called Vahtacen, and poke around inside, hoping to find mushrooms. Instead, I find torchlit passages and a number of Welkynd Stones, which are semi-valuable and good for recharging your Magicka. Hmm.

I’d kind of like to swipe these, but I’m not much of a dungeon-scouring thief. I decide to poke around further to see who these stones belong to. If it’s some sort of leathery bat monster, I won’t feel so bad. I spot an Argonian woman walking around in a chamber deeper into the caves. She doesn’t look like a bandit, more like a mage — robes and no armor. Still, I don’t want to chance talking to her, and decide not to swipe all her stones.

Sometimes it really sucks not being adventurous.

Back outside, I spot some deer. Maybe venison cures disease? Can’t remember. Can’t hurt to check. Can’t hurt me, anyway. I manage to take down a deer with a single critical bowshot, which is pretty cool except that it wasn’t actually the deer I was aiming for. I was aiming for a running deer, and he just happened to run right by a stationary deer as I loosed my misguided arrow. Well, if anyone was watching, they wouldn’t be able to tell. Venison, unfortunately, doesn’t cure my ills, but it makes a nice snack.

The weather gets worse as I make the long, slow, wet slog back up to the city, having found nothing of real use. The next morning, after selling my take, I head north, aiming for Lake Arrius. The weather is better, but again, even though the vegetation is lush and green, there ain’t much to pick. I discover Wind Range Camp, which appears to be abandoned. Excellent. If I can bed here tonight I won’t have to walk all the way back to the city, and can spend some more time exploring.

A few moments later, however, a bandit shows up. He somehow spots the ugly dork in highly reflective steel armor crouching nearby, and we clash. I’d cleverly poisoned my blade while I was waiting, and I stick him once. He turns green as the poison eats away at him, and soon he’s weak enough for a single slash of my blade to take him down. I loot his body, finding a few gold coins and a copper ring. Also, while fending off his blows, my block skill increased, meaning the next time I sleep I’ll gain a level. At least the day isn’t a total waste.

There’s not much going on around the lake but a waterfall and a wolf. After killing the latter and collecting the pelt (and a gold coin the wolf was somehow carrying), I head back. Another fairly fruitless expedition. Very few ingredients to pick, and none have the properties I need. I’m getting a little frustrated. The east coast of Cyrodiil is a huge letdown for the traveling alchemist.

I’m nearly back to the city when suddenly I burst into flames. Eep. Imp. After cutting him out of the air, I arrive back in the city, a little banged up. I think I need to upgrade my self-preservation skills. I sell some potions, decide to spend a couple hundred on a Cure Major Wound spells from the Mage’s Guild, and head to bed, where I attain my fifth level.

I briefly consider going with Luck, because frankly, I could use some, but in the end I choose to raise my Intelligence, Personality, and Endurance. It’s been about thirty days since I landed in Anvil, and I’ve finally reached level five.

I decide to bum around town the next day, since I haven’t been to the castle yet and I’d like to see if they have a house for sale. I could use a day without bloodshed or drama, as well. It’s at this point that I notice I’ve not only failed to cure my current disease, but I’ve also somehow acquired a new one.

Witbane is a disease that drains your intelligence, and (according to the Oblivion Wiki) it can be contracted from dogs and zombies, neither of which I’ve been in contact with. Puzzling. Wolves, I’ve seen plenty, but no dogs. Unless I picked it up a few days ago from that dog-trainer lady, I have no idea when I might have contracted it. There aren’t even any toilet seats in Cyrodiil. So, now I’ve got two types of canine-related diseases, and no cure for either of them. Spiffy. Won’t be long before I’m chasing cats and eating my own poop.

I head to the Mage’s Guild again, and find one ingredient with disease-curing properties: a mushroom called Elf Cup Cap. Well, I’m halfway there, at least. Now, I just need another ingredient to mix with it. Or, I could just ditch this alchemy nonsense and take up religion, which is sounding more appealing every day.

I make my way to the castle, where I notice a bunch of indoor planters. I spot some mushrooms growing among the plants, and, as is my habit, I start stuffing them into my pockets. They won’t cure my diseases, but that’s no reason not to pick ‘em.

I do this for a bit before I notice that the little “hand” icon is red when I hover it over the mushrooms, which indicates items that, when taken, are considered stolen. I’m not just gathering mushrooms, apparently, I’m pinching them.

Yoikes! I’m no thief! On the other hand, the guards are standing right there and haven’t arrested me. Just a glitch, perhaps? Either way, I continue harvesting the mushrooms. If they’re a little lax on crime in Cheydinhal Castle, it works for out me.

I continue crawling around the bushes inside the castle, taking all the mushrooms I find. Eventually, I pop out near the throne.

The count is sitting on one throne, while on the other sits a little bundle of flowers. Hell, this castle is crawling with ingredients! Why did I bother with walking around the woods, putting myself at risk, when I could stock up right here? Without thinking twice about the red “hand” icon I’ve been seeing for the past few minutes, I snatch the flowers, just as I realize they are tagged as “bouquet of flowers”. Meaning they’re not an ingredient, but instead an object. Meaning I haven’t harvested the flowers. I’ve stolen them. From the castle throne room. Off the throne. Right in front of the Count. And his guards.

Um. Whoops.

Comments

  1. quicksilver_502 says:

    i’m not sure nondrick will do well in jail… yay for new stuff!

  2. Awesome. Keep them coming!

  3. Noooooooo!!! Escape! Escaaaape!!

  4. Wow, I totally could not see that one coming. At least you can’t blame your cat for accidently pickpocketing the count. Now that would’ve been something for a harmless travelling merchant to do.

    Well, good luck. Just hope you don’t resist arrest.

  5. So he took all of Nondrick’s mushrooms? That dastard.

  6. oh my!

  7. Adoring Fan says:

    Whoopsies.

  8. Hoo boy. And who KNOWS what kind of diseases one might pick up in prison! There’s always the off chance that mildew on the cell walls or that mysterious fungus that will inevitably begin growing on your extremities can be combined with that human waste in the corner to make a disease cure potion. A rather.. unique disease cure potion, but one nonetheless.

  9. It’s ok, it’ll only be a mild fine! Plus if you choose jail then doesn’t that kick start the main quest?

    I’d hate to see what happens when a guy like Nondrick drops the boar fat soap in the shower…

  10. Hey, if he gets a disease in prison, Nondrick could take that up as a hobby: collecting diseases! Gotta catch ‘em all!

  11. Heheh, sure put an end to your spree.

  12. YOU-YOU-YOU’VE VIOLATED THE LAW

    Good going, Nondrick. :P

  13. Hahaha, brilliant. Can’t wait to see what happens next :D

  14. Totally did not see that coming. If I were you, I’d pay the fine. However, I’m not you, so you’ll probably go to jail, and have a very good reason for going to jail. Just please don’t resist arrest. I’d rather not have to look at Nondrick’s dead body…
    Oh, I had a thought, you should probably increase the delay between your Oblivion character dying and the Load/Quit menu opening up. That way, when Nondrick does kick the bucket, we can devote an entire post to looking at him. (Please don’t.)

  15. ChillaGorilla says:

    Yep, the magic of this blog is kinda back :D
    its really better when nondrick tells the story, sorry chris ^^
    Nondrick could learn and change his mind:
    No more Flowers, No more useless ingriedient-searching trips
    from now on Nondricks a real thief! A religious Thief! xD
    keep it coming, chris ..eer Nondrick :D

  16. Whoops! =D

    Good luck breaking out (not like Nondrick would do that). ;-)

  17. Alexander says:

    @weaklemondrink
    The main quest delayer starts the quest when arrested by a palace gaurd, as in, the ones in the Imp. Cit. with the white armor.

    The Unofficial Elder Scrolls pages would really give some help with finding some disease curing plants, provide a picture perhaps. It fits in with the alchemy thing, because chances are, an alchemist would have a guide book to tell him which flowers are which.

  18. Logonginn says:

    Resist Arrest! it always works.

  19. Ahahaha! Fortunately I’m sure law-abiding Nondrick can afford a small fine for petty theft. Too bad you can’t plead your case in Oblivion.

  20. I agree with rfry 11 – if/when Nondrick does die, you should definitely have the delay increased.
    You can either do that yourself, or use this mod: http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=5824

    Anyway, I’d just pay the fine like a good citizen. It won’t be much for just stealing.

  21. usualroutine says:

    Gasp! Nondrick won’t survive in prison! His ripped abs and alchemist physique will make him the perfect target for sodomy! Which’ll give him more diseases! Pay the fine!

  22. Nondrick, Nondrick, Nondrick, when will you learn. I always knew he was a hardened criminal. Throw away the key! *end sarcasm*

    Don’t let him rot in jail, go to jail and break out. “Prison Break: Cyrodiil!”

  23. OH NOES! Pay the fine! Though, on the other hand, will you level if you just sleep your sentence off?? I know you lose some stat points for going to jail, but will you still level?

    Great update!

    On a side note, Vahtacen was a fun dungeon.

  24. Haha, Whoops.~

  25. good to see you finally update, but I have a problem that I’ve been thinking about for awhile.
    well of all the npcs in Cyrodil who collect ingredients, non of them go dungeon-crawling for them. That seem pretty un-npc like. I know it sounds like I’m nagging but still.

  26. Indeed, Aragorn DID have otdeal with that stuff :)

  27. austinpwnz says:

    “Did Aragorn have to deal with this kinda shit?”
    I think Nondrick might be getting some kind of hero complex. What’s up with that, man?

    I love this story, it’s fantastic. Nondrick should pay the fine but jail would be most entertaining via your storytelling skills I am sure.

  28. austinpwnz says:

    Ahahah just noticed the title, fantastic.

  29. Out Reach says:

    I think he is going to go to prison… It will cause more storyline developments in the long run ;)

  30. Well, jail is a crap option because it’ll lower your stats. So it comes down to paying the fine, which won’t affect you too much except he’ll confiscate all the ingredients you filched from the count, or resisting arrest. Since you don’t have a thieves guild contact, you can’t pay off your bounty, which means you’d be a wanted man forever.
    I say pay the fine.

  31. I bet he’s already made the decision. And I’m sure it’s a heroic Nondrick styled decision.

  32. NNNOOO!!! Nondrick can’t go to jail!! He just can’t!!! If the poor fellow does time, just remember, trying to break out unarmored, and unarmed is a good lesson in humility. That mace really hurts!! No yields, and no help, just sleep it off. That, or pay the fine

  33. Is the same person still writing the adventures? The story still lost its magic. It doesn’t feel like Nondrick talking about his adventures anymore.

  34. Muuur..
    Nondrick has done it this time, if you went to prison I hope you didn’t get the cell with that guy that tried to murder his wife or something…

  35. A concerned citizen says:

    Well. You’re boned. Perhaps litterally if you can’t afford the fine.

  36. If I were him, I’d eat the mushroom to cure it. Yeah, it would make you want to vomit a lot, but it’s better than wanting to chase cats and eat your poop… right?

  37. Awesome post as usual. Don’t forget to grab your stuff out of the evidence chest. Either way you’ve paid for it now, lol. :)

  38. escape thr prison, sir!

    and err will he take all your goods, or just the stolen one?

  39. Lemon Boy says:

    although this may be slightly off the point, the impending release of fallout 3 (the new game from bethesda for those who dont know) got me thinking how great it would be to see the non adventures of nondrick be transported into post apocolyptic washington DC. The idea of Nondrick tearing around a mutant infested shopping mall trying to find some edible food to whip up into a delicious meal would be great to read about.

  40. Q: Did Aragorn have to deal with this kinda shit?
    A: NO BECAUSE HE IS A WOLF

  41. I hope he tries to escape in jail, he may not be adventurous, but NO ONE likes to be in jail, c’mon!

  42. Don’t worry. The fine’ll probably be around 5 coins.

    I loved the entry! Short but still has the Nondrick quality to it.

  43. @ Lemon Boy-

    Idea = WIN.

    And if he can’t get Fallout 3, he could always trick us using Gm_Atomic for Gmod.

  44. Alexander says:

    Breaking out isn’t exactly hard anyway. The silver mace can do damage to someone like Nonny at the low level, but you can always sneak or rush headlong past the guy to the evidence chest. Plus, you get a nice new set of clothes for the trip!

  45. Amazing as usual. Wolves like to have strange things!

  46. When you do your time, your get back your stolen items but without a red hand icon. Or at least it works that way for me. For the “Two Sides of the Coin” quest anyway. “The Amazing Race” was fun. Now awaiting “The Unit”. I hope there’s more to read before then! Funny stuff as usual! Oh, and as for those stolen mushrooms, had you gone and talked to a nearby guard, he would’ve then acted on arresting you! (At least it happened that way for me.)

  47. Midnight Voyager says:

    You DID come into contact with a dog… it was shortly after you got the disease from the wolf!

  48. I find it funny that the only dog you’ve come in contact with gave you a disease.

  49. Bahahahaaa

  50. nope
    [i]nope[/i]

  51. a

  52. Why doesnt he eat the ingrediant to cure himself?