cover what temps need in the way of supplies. Turns out they donít need much,
but I still manage to stretch this baby out for about five pages. Damn Iím
good! As well as supplies, readers are briefed on how to dress, and alerted to
the common grooming mistakes of women (over-perfuming) and those of men (nose
hair like an African jungle).
the normal stress of working a desk job, temps have a whole host of other issues
to deal with. At least thatís what I tell people so theyíll feel sorry for
me and give me cookies. In this section I explain why a tempís memory needs to
be much sharper than a regular employeeís, dispense some tips on dealing with
job stress, and outline exactly what sexual harassment is so you can get away
Job That's Right For You
whopping great section is well worth the price of admission, as it covers, in
exquisite, bone-crunching detail, the dark spectrum of jobs that both beginning
and experienced temps will have to endure. Thereís even a section that
covers temporary assignments Iíve had that didnít involve desks of any kind,
but, in at least one case, required a hairnet.
Most offices employ several, if not dozens of temps,
and youíll have plenty in common with your temping brethren. Youíll soon
have plenty to fight about as well. In this section I describe how
relationships between temps can quickly go from good to badÖ to ugly. I
also pay homage to the dearly departed; temps that have become permanent
employees, have gone back to school, or that Iíve lost touch with due to
restraining orders. Snobs.
In this "section", I look at
temping from the point of view of the hiring company, of which I know nothing.
While it provides no actual information, it does contain very few spelling
I Hate You From Somewhere?
Have I met hundreds of people as a
temp, or have I just met the same twelve people hundreds of times?
I'll be the judge of that, as well as the jury, executioner, bailiff, court
reporter, and the guy who shouts when the judge comes in (or is that the
bailiff?), as I stereotype and categorize everyone Iíve ever come across, from
The Boss; pock-marked for that extra-evil look, to The Secretary, who's into
Fabio and tarot cards, and that guy who always asks "What did you bring
me?" when you walk into the office with your lunch. God, I hate that
If By Bus
Before you can get to work to deal with that cubicle partner with the
eyebrow dandruff, you've got to brave The Commute. Be
it busses, trains, or carpool lanes, it's a twice-a-day trip to the dark
side, and you're fresh out of transfers.
Not Your Desk
Are mushrooms welcome in your garden? Which slugs are good for your soil? How
can you attract those beautiful butterflies? Damned if I know: this is a temping
website. In this section, I cover the subject of the desks themselves, and just
how disgusting it can be to sit at someone elseís. Youíll have to contend
with lipstick stained mugs, bacteria-laden keyboards, crumb-covered mouse pads
and sticky phone receivers, not to mention a high concentration of body hair.
Not for the faint of stomach.
Your Head And Temp
Sick? Injured? Ugly? Well,
this medical guide can help you with two out of three. Read it before
throwing your hard earned dollars into a doctor's retirement fund.