Movies

Lady Business: Chick Flicks

[Editor's Note: Since I'm mainly concerned with movies about exploding trains and alien invasions and video games where you shoot people in the face, I've asked my wife, Kris, to be a contributor here at Screen Cuisine. She'll be occasionally covering TV, movies, games, and all things pop-culture from a female perspective, though she's been known to enjoy the occasional alien invasion and exploding train herself.  -- Chris]

I’m not much for Chick Flicks. For instance, I once attempted to watch “The Notebook” and nearly lost my damn mind. Typically, if there’s a poster with people tenderly holding each other’s faces, I’m not getting in line to see that movie.

These movies are some of my favorites based on the sheer volume of times I’ve seen them:

  • Shaun of the Dead
  • Anchorman
  • Caddyshack
  • Meatballs
  • Dawn of the Dead (2004 version)
  • The Empire Strikes Back

Clearly, I’m not a classy woman. I used to feel guilty about it until I saw the English Patient episode of Seinfeld where Elaine would rather see a movie called “Sack Lunch”. At the end, she finally gets to see that movie and is shown laughing like a jackass while stuffing her face with popcorn. Lordy, I loves me some Elaine Benes.

Feeling bad about my seeming lack of commitment to my gender, I Googled the Best Chick Flicks of all time and found this list on MSN’s website to see how I stack up.

10 – Three way tie: Steel Magnolias (1989), Beaches (1988), Pretty Woman (1990)
I’ve got to admit that I’ve seen all three. I mean, I’m not dead inside or anything. However, I can say that if it was a rainy Sunday afternoon and all three were playing on TV, I’d probably get my girly on by switching over to the Food Network and watching people eat all afternoon.

9The Women (1939)
I don’t watch old movies. I just don’t. Once, Chris and I were talking and he said “Who wants to sit through Casablanca? No one.” I fell in love with him all over again.

8When Harry Met Sally (1989)
I’ve seen this in bits and pieces, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen the whole movie from start to finish. It was on the other day and the only thing I could think of was how Meg Ryan has ruined her face with surgery.

7Grey Gardens (1975)
I’ve never seen this. I’ve do love a good documentary, but there’s something about this one that makes me think it would just depress me.

6Sabrina (1954)
I’ve seen a few Audrey Hepburn movies (Wait Until Dark, Two for the Road and Breakfast at Tiffany’s), but I’m not really interested in this one. I also skipped the remake.

5Valley of the Dolls (1967)
I watched this once on a dare from one of my professors in college. I don’t recall much about it, but I do know that I cringed slightly when I saw it on this list. That can’t be a good sign.

4Thelma and Louise (1991)
I dragged my then boyfriend and his best friend to see this one in the theater, and I got all aggravated and keyed up at them both for simply having penises. This movie is to some women what Rocky movies are to some men – it makes ‘em want to punch something and start some shit. [Note to self. -- Chris]

3White Oleander (2002)
There are far too many blond women in this movie. I have a limit of three blonds in major roles per movie. Plus, one of them was Renee Zellweger. No, thank you!

2Imitation of Life (1959)
I hadn’t even heard of this movie until I saw it on the list, and I don’t plan on seeking it out. Besides, I heard that ION is airing Tango and Cash this weekend so I’ll be booked.

1Gone with the Wind (1939)
I have a tendency to not trust movies with this sort of popularity. When something gets too big, I don’t want to be a part of it no matter how good people say it is. This could be the greatest movie ever made, and I would never know it.

That makes 6 out of 12. Not bad odds for a woman who just last week was kicking herself for waiting so long to see the Burt Reynolds classic, Stroker Ace. Seriously, I’ve got to get to Dimple and pick that one up right away.

Comments

  1. Chris & Kris,

    Casablanca is great, you dolts. Watch it immediately.

  2. Jacquilynne says:

    I think of myself as generally liking Chick Flicks, and I still haven’t seen most of these. I get 5 out of 12 for Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally, Sabrina (do I get another point for having seen both Sabrinas?), Thelma and Louise and Gone With the Wind.

    Also, I fail to see how any list can purport to represent the best chick flicks of all time and not include The American President.

  3. Kris, we’re debating what to call your followers — do you prefer Krispies or Kristians?

    • I vote for Kristians.

    • Some more good old fashioned Meg Ryan hating from American Dad (they were playing that game show Pyramid whatever):

      Uh, okay. I was once America’s sweetheart.
      Uh, I ruined my marriage for a quick fling.
      Uh, Oh, “Please, Tom Hanks, I’m begging you do another movie with me?”
      Things Meg Ryan would say? *ding*

      My mom recently saw that ION was going to play Tango and Cash and expressed her interest in watching it (she hasn’t seen it before). Unfortunately, she missed all the showings and was a bit crestfallen, so I acquired it for her using special tricks. However, I noticed there was nudity in the version I acquired that would have been removed from the ION version. I then attempted to find out how one could obtain edited-for-tv versions of movies, but ended up having to edit the file myself for my mother’s viewing. Why I felt the need to edit a movie for my mother to watch is another matter.

  4. Man, I need more female friends who feel this way about chick flicks. When the women in my office are all getting goopy over something like “The Notebook” it makes me want to barf a little. I also share your feelings about things that are too popular–if I’m being bombarded with it from every angle, it’s guaranteed that I’m never going to watch it. I do have to admit that I like “When Harry Met Sally.” We all have our weaknesses.

  5. I got a 0/12. Not sure what that says about me, considering I watch a LOT of movies. I have seen the notebook, though, and it infuriated me. You’re supposed to sympathize with the protagonist, but she’s a complete monster the entire way through. Somehow people don’t see that, though.

  6. OK, we’re just supposed to believe that Chris has a “wife” named “Kris” who likes the same things he likes except he– I mean she– has seen “Steel Magnolias”. Next time be a little creative and try “Krys” or “Karis”.

    (P.S. Hi Kris!)

    • …but you were at the wedding and know that our special effects budget was too limited to have Chris marry himself and make it look that real!

  7. This is a strange list–I can’t imagine why some of these films were included on it. Grey Gardens? A chick flick? I’ve never even heard of anyone seeing it, let alone it being a chick flick! I guess it is from the 70s, so what do I know about chick flicks back then? I saw the movie version of Grey Gardens they made with Drew Barrymore and it was like an episode of Hoarders with no happy ending. I watched the remake of The Women (by the way, Meg Ryan was in it, with her ruined face) and it wasn’t great. I rented the original and had to turn it off, it was sooo annoying. My favorite on the list is of course Thelma and Louise. It may be a chick flick, but it is a kick-ass chick flick.

  8. Wow, I have never come across someone with such an eerie similarity to me in taste in movies. I never watched Avatar, solely because it was too popular and I was suspicious. I am also mostly baffled by chick flicks, but will gladly abandon real life for a Die Hard marathon.

    A chick flicks you may not hate (going off of the basis that I don’t hate them) would perhaps recommend sassy teen comedy Bring It On. A little dated now, but oddly cute and hilarious.

    • Avatar. Woo boy! I got to the point where the guy says “You mean, you’ve never heard of the floating mountains of Pandora?” and I left the room.

      I was forced to see the ending at my friend’s parents house around Christmas. It ended pretty much like I thought it would and I saved about 2 hours of my life.

      (Which I probably turned around and wasted on Bachelor Party.)