The Killing: Punching A Rock

Okay. I’m going to have to admit that this show is not nearly as good as I’d hoped, and it has gotten clunkier by the week. Still, I’m invested at this point, and I’m going to see it through, and I’m going to pretend I’m still really enjoying it, when I’m only really sort of enjoying it.

This week we got some fairly unsurprising news: Bennet is not a terrorist. Like I had mostly figured out with my huge intelligent brain, what appeared to be some Muslim terror plot was actually a Muslim rescue plot: a little girl was being spirited away to protect her from an unwanted marriage and female circumcision. Bennet is clean, actually, more than clean: he was risking a lot to protect an innocent girl.

Linden, meanwhile, continues to do absolutely everything wrong: she may have signed Bennet’s death warrant by stupidly telling Mitch that she was going to arrest Bennet, only to have to let him go after a judge wouldn’t sign Holder’s illegal wiretap warrant. Mitch gets upset, yells at Stan for not taking care of Bennet himself, Stan and Belko abduct Bennet (again), and this time they beat the living shit out of him. Mitch finds the shirt that supposedly tied Rosie to the Muslim center, meaning maybe Rosie had nothing to do with the not-terrorists, but it’s too late to call Stan off from his mission of punching a teacher in the rain (and in the face).

Two things: first, Bennet better be dead. Not because he deserves it, but because this show needs to develop some balls, and fast. We’re going in slow circles at this point, and I want some real shit to happen. I don’t want to see Bennet all bandaged in the hospital with tubes sticking out of him, and a doctor listing his injuries and saying shit like “Frankly, he’s lucky to be alive.” He needs to be dead so things can happen, things like Stan and Belko being arrested for murder. I’m tired of being jerked around by cliffhangers that don’t turn out to mean anything the following week. Commit to something, The Killing, or I will lose even more respect for you.

Secondly: While Stan was whomping on Bennet, we saw Belko, my prime suspect, going absolutely apeshit in the background. He’s shown signs of wanting to return to his criminal roots in the past, repeatedly urging Stan to take care of Bennet, like in the old days. And now, freed from his menial job as a mover, he exulted in the violence, whooping and jumping around like an uncaged monkey, and even mimicking Stan by punching a boulder with his bare fist while Stan punched Bennet. Chilling in his sheer bloodlust, Belko demonstrated that he is a natural born killer.

Which probably means he didn’t kill Rosie.

Looks, it’s the rule of murder mysteries. The most likely suspect is probably not the guy. Belko has been my number one suspect for most of the show, but by nakedly demonstrating he has the ability to kill Rosie, it probably means he didn’t.

Richmond, meanwhile, went to the annoying rich dude to ask for five million dollars, which I’m pretty sure you can’t do. I think Hopeful Earnest Mayor Donation Laws are probably capped at, like, a few grand. But, whatever! The rich dude was like, “Sink this basket and I’ll give you millions of monies or don’t and you’ll have to quit trying to be mayor forever!” And the mayor was all, “Swish! Monies! Pwned!” This was the stupidest scene ever written. I don’t know what’s going on with this show.

However, I still do want to find out who killed Rosie, so let’s update the suspect list and get guessing!

Bennet: He’s super nice, good husband, friend to children! And maybe dead! 0%

Amber: She turned in Bennet for suspected terrorism, probably not something you’d do if you were a murderer. 0%

Belko: He’s super crazy and violent! And so, probably not the killer. 0%

With those three out of the picture (at least in my mind), who’s left?

Richmond: I’m so bored with this guy and his stupid campaign. And now he’s moping around in bars, playing mopey music out of mopey jukeboxes. Still nothing tying him directly to Rosie, so even if he did it, I can’t imagine why. But he’s on the show for some reason, and if he didn’t kill her I don’t know why we’ve been forced to watch his incessant mooning for 9 weeks. 20%

Evil Mayor/Evil Mayor’s Evil Aide: We saw the evil mayor this week, telling his evil aide to pay off the girl he was having an affair with as well as paying off a doctor to fabricate medical files to prove he didn’t father a child with the girl. So, he likes young girls, and is willing to do evil stuff to remain evil mayor. Was he involved with Rosie? Is evil mayor’s evil aide willing to kill to safeguard his boss’s job?  20%

Terry: She’s become my prime suspect, now that I’ve counted Belko out. Dunno why she’d kill Rosie, but she’s deeply involved with pretty much every aspect of the family. She found some of Rosie’s books in her car and returned them to Mitch, so she used to drive Rosie around, which might mean something about something or something. Something is up with her. Something. 60%

Jamie: He’s still around and I hate him. 10%

Whatserface: The female Richmond aide. They’re having an affair, and so if he was involved with Rosie maybe she did it out of jealously or whatever. I don’t know. I really have no idea. A good murder show should give everyone a motive, The Killing, at this point, has given practically no one a motive. 20%.

We’re up to 130%! That’s a lot of percents. Many more than you’ll even find on AMC’s suspect tracker website.