Video Games

2012 Text Adventures on PC Gamer

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All this week on PC Gamer, I’m imagining an alternate universe where graphics where never invented, but the games of 2012 were still published… as text adventures.

Monday: Dishonored: The Text Adventure!

Tuesday: Mass Effect 3: The Text Adventure!

Wednesday: Assassin’s Creed III: The Text Adventure!

Thursday: Far Cry 3: The Text Adventure!

Friday: Hotline Miami: The Text Adventure!


  1. Hey chris! Great stuff on PCgamer recently! Hope they consider hiring you for a whole lot of new articles! Also, nice to see you’re doing things regularly again, the internet was a lot more boring during your hiatus after living in oblivion! Hell, love your stuff, i’d read Concerned and Living in Oblivion and loved them both without ever picking up on the fact it was the same person. Just thought I’d say thanks seeing as i’ve never actually payed you for anything XD

  2. Very funny stuff! Also, the Assassin’s Creed title links to the Mass Effect one.

  3. Just shared the link to the ME3 text adventure to a friend’s FB wall. I don’t know if it is showing that way on computers other than mine, but the thumbnail image that was included reads “ASS FECT The Text Ad”. Meaningless text, but that’s just funny and I call it a win. While I haven’t played any of the games covered (and am really only familiar with FC3 from your write ups here) I still found myself openly chuckling at the features. Good work!