Last year, I only went to see one movie in the theater all summer long. It was a combo of not having much out that I was interested in seeing, and also I am what you would call a ‘cheap bastage’. Of course, this summer is full of sequels and that lessens my choices. Typically, I’m not a fan of sequels unless they involve Han Solo, Legolas or some other hot nerd bait.
Hobo With a Shotgun, May 6th – Lordy, that’s a great title. If Rutger Hauer keeps to his tradition of saying only 13 lines of dialogue in any given movie, it’ll be a whole lot of silence followed by shotgun blasts. Truthfully, I’m on the fence for this one, but with a title like Hobo with a Shotgun at least I’ll know what I’m getting into.
Bridesmaids, May 13th – Judd Apatow has opened up his boy’s club beyond his wife to a whole cast of funny women like Maya Rudolph, Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig, and I need to support the ladies with my box office dollars. Plus, most movies for women are things like Something Borrowed or the excitingly titled Love, Etc. and Love, Wedding, Marriage. Imagine this conversation between two random women with very girly names.
Erin: “Hey, Julie! Do you want to go see Love, Etc.?”
Julie: “Sure! Afterwards, let’s go shoe shopping, eat a salad, attend a Tupperware party and then have a pillow fight!”
Erin: “Great! I’ll pick you up in my Jetta right after I pull my head out of my ass!”
Submarine, June 3rd – I’m in purely because Richard Ayoade (Moss from the IT Crowd) is directing this one. Apparently, it’s about a 15 year old boy who wants to lose his virginity by his next birthday. As this is British, I’ll assume that it will be more on the quietly awkward side, and less on the having sex with a pie side of film making.
Super 8, June 10th – It’s J.J. Abrams. Sure, it’ll be full of lens flares and not turn out to be quite as good as promised, but he hasn’t turned into M. Night just yet. Plus, even Cloverfield has its moments. Really. It did. Honest.
Horrible Bosses, July 8th – I love Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis, and the idea of a chubby Colin Farrell with a comb over has me halfway in the door. Plus, I live in Sacramento and it will most likely be 115 degrees out on July 8th, so even if it’s horrible I’ll get my money’s worth via the air conditioning alone.
Captain America: The First Avenger, July 22nd – Being a lady and all, I didn’t plan on seeing this one. I mean, it’s freaking Captain America. Not exactly catnip to the ladies. However, Chris had me watch the trailer with a hopeful look on his face. The things we do for love, eh?
Cowboys and Aliens, July 29th – I’m hoping this movie is of the so-bad-it’s good variety. I sat through “Moon” because I love Sam Rockwell, and Jon Favreau is directing (I gave him a pass on Iron Man 2 – too many cooks.) so there should be plenty of over the top ridiculousness to go around.
Our Idiot Brother, August 26th – This one seems like more of a rental, but it’s got some promise in the casting with Paul Rudd, Steve Coogan and (my lady crush) Zooey Deschanel.
Untitled 3D Shark Thriller, September 2nd – If you can read a working title like ”Untitled 3D Shark Thriller” and still have the willpower to keep your $10 in your pocket, you are a better person than I am.