One Canyon, Grand
So, yeah. The Grand Canyon.
It's, uh... y'know. Real big.
Immense. Picturesque. Ancient.
I mean, really, what is it? It's
this huge hole in our country, that's what. If Arizona were your
backyard, you'd be ashamed of the Grand Canyon. People would come
over, and you'd be showing them around, and they'd be all "Hey,
what's that hole?" and you'd be all "Oh, we're, uh... putting in
a pool" or "Well, you know, septic tank busted" or
Plus, the whole thing was caused by this
little trickle of a river. It's like North America just nipped
'round to the store one day and left the faucet running, and when it got
back: "Oh no! Look what happened to the living room
floor!" Sure, it could happen to any continent, but it's still
Plus, what a weakness, just waiting to be
exploited! A little river can tear this huge gouge in the greatest
country in the world? Who knows how this could come back to bite
us. Right now, our enemies could be aiming a river at Washington!
Keep your eyes peeled for a Commie with a hose.
As far as inspiration, I was left a
little empty upon viewing it personally. Here it is, a natural wonder, created by millions of
years of erosion, a canyon so huge it doesn't seem possible that it could
even fit inside our country. So, I sat down on the rim, prepared to
take it all in, prepared to have deep, meaningful thoughts, and what
happens? I'm distracted.
Distracted by scads of tourists wandering
around, jabbering away in whatever foreign languages they
"speak." Shuttle-busses roaring up the roads, their
drivers' voices blaring nasally over loudspeakers. Helicopters and
turboprops thumping through the air, carrying more (and no doubt
jabbering) tourists. Colorful birds soaring effortlessly through the
air and perching in trees making all sorts of damn chirping sounds.
Cool winds gently whistling through the canyon and up over the rim.
How can anyone concentrate with all that racket? I ask you.
So, here I am, sitting on the rim,
waiting for inspiration:
And what am I thinking at this
point? What wondrous thought am I having?
I'm thinking: "Hmm... a good
name for a lesbian bar would be Tom & Harry's... You
know. No Dick."
(photo credit: my Dad)