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One Canyon, Grand

So, yeah.  The Grand Canyon.

It's, uh... y'know.  Real big.  Immense.  Picturesque.  Ancient.

Somewhat embarrassing.

I mean, really, what is it?  It's this huge hole in our country, that's what.  If Arizona were your backyard, you'd be ashamed of the Grand Canyon.  People would come over, and you'd be showing them around, and they'd be all "Hey, what's that hole?" and you'd be all "Oh, we're, uh... putting in a pool" or "Well, you know, septic tank busted" or "Damn gophers."

Plus, the whole thing was caused by this little trickle of a river.  It's like North America just nipped 'round to the store one day and left the faucet running, and when it got back:  "Oh no!  Look what happened to the living room floor!"  Sure, it could happen to any continent, but it's still embarrassing.

Plus, what a weakness, just waiting to be exploited!  A little river can tear this huge gouge in the greatest country in the world?  Who knows how this could come back to bite us.  Right now, our enemies could be aiming a river at Washington!  Keep your eyes peeled for a Commie with a hose.

As far as inspiration, I was left a little empty upon viewing it personally.  Here it is, a natural wonder, created by millions of years of erosion, a canyon so huge it doesn't seem possible that it could even fit inside our country.  So, I sat down on the rim, prepared to take it all in, prepared to have deep, meaningful thoughts, and what happens?  I'm distracted.  

Distracted by scads of tourists wandering around, jabbering away in whatever foreign languages they "speak."  Shuttle-busses roaring up the roads, their drivers' voices blaring nasally over loudspeakers.  Helicopters and turboprops thumping through the air, carrying more (and no doubt jabbering) tourists.  Colorful birds soaring effortlessly through the air and perching in trees making all sorts of damn chirping sounds.  Cool winds gently whistling through the canyon and up over the rim.  How can anyone concentrate with all that racket?  I ask you.

So, here I am, sitting on the rim, waiting for inspiration:

And what am I thinking at this point?  What wondrous thought am I having?

I'm thinking:  "Hmm... a good name for a lesbian bar would be Tom & Harry's...  You know.  No Dick."

(photo credit:  my Dad)