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If you've been away for a while, or never been here before, you can follow the progression of the website.  How fun for you.

Just so you know:  this site is constantly changing formats (see, the way I phrase that implies I have no control over it and it's not my fault).  As a result, different pages of the archives look different from each other, locations of particular sections change, the colors change, everything changes.  So, poking around might be a little confusing.  I'm sorry.  I mean, the site is sorry.  I had nothing to do with it.

Also, bold text denotes a special or "theme" week.


One-Day Temping (December, 2002)
An addition to the already bloated Jobs section of the oft-neglected Field Guide!  The One-Day Temp is the lowest of the low, the least of the least, and the something else of the same something else.  Called in for just a single day of work, these fruit flies of the temping industry might as well have the word "disposable" printed on their foreheads.  What's worse, sometimes the one-day jobs... well, shit, just go read the damn thing.

In Security  (December, 2002)
Once more, I find myself in charge of security for a small office.  The two reasons this is generally a bad idea:  first, I'm tiny and pathetic, and not much of a deterrent to criminals or even malicious, palsied school children.  Second, I'm planning on stealing a ton of stuff, and here I am, guarding the door.  Plus, with this job, there's a catch.  A really big one.

Go Fish (December, 2002)
God helps those who help themselves.  But what does God do to those who help those who can't help themselves?  Like, say, a temp?  Like, say, me?  Well, He punishes.  Hard.

Nothing 'Bout The Truth (November 20, 2002)
Research shows that the average person tells about two lies a day, but I recently spent eight hours doing little else but spewing complete bullshit in downtown San Francisco.  Oh, yeah, and I got paid to do it!  Get the skinny on perhaps my weirdest temp job to date.

McSilence (November 20, 2002)
McDonald's isn't usually a place for soul searching and pondering alternate timelines, but sometimes it happens.  Must be the special sauce.

Is That Saliva In Your Ass, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? (November 20, 2002)
I'm not sure where the porn industry gets their ideas from, man, but it ain't me.  I'd boycott them, but that'd be stupid.  Contains adult language and situations, as well as the words "mancake mix."  You've been warned.


Collector's Edition! (June 3 - June 7, 2002) - In our most self-absorbed theme week ever, you'll find insightful writer's commentary on past pages, an exclusive interview, deleted scenes, outtakes, and gags!




June 4 - June 8, 2001 - Kind of an impromptu Theme Week, brought on by an e-mail from Carol Feltman about a review I'd written of her book.



Fiction Week - Five short temping stories, all in a different fiction genre:  Science fiction, horror, erotica, fairy tale, and mystery.


April 30 - May 4, 2001 - (Special article by MST3K's Mary Jo Pehl included!)


One Year... No Career - Not My Desk turns one year old!  Festivities ensue, including an exclusive interview with Mary Jo Pehl.






Theme Week Redux (November 20 - November 24) - A Theme Week about previous Theme Weeks.  Yes, I was just that unimaginative.



Fitness Week (October 2 - October 6):  Feel the burn!  A week of getting into shape at your temp job, from desk-stretching to office yoga to something far, far more terrifying:  face-building.



Skillz Week (September 11-15):  A complete run-down on the 25 (or so) skillz every temp should know.  



Cheese Week (August 20 - August 25):  A week devoted to the best-selling and entirely evil business book Who Moved My Cheese?



Non-Temping Week (July 30 - August 6): Instead of temping, ruminations on wedgies, Darwin, and Mr. Rogers as leader of the free world.



Women's Week (July 13 - July 21):  The week that was.  Check out Not My Desk's salute to female temps.