Livingston was born
in New York in 1972 to a fabulously wealthy and well-known family who had made
a fortune after coming up with the idea for those slimy globs of pork you find
in cans of baked beans. As a teenager, Christopher dropped out of high
school and took over the
pork-glob business, but ran it into the ground while trying to introduce the
pork-glob into a number of other markets. Pork-glob air-fresheners,
pork-glob chewing gum, and pork-glob communion wafers were just a few of his failures.
millions of dollars gone, Christopher then began his career as a professional
con-man, traveling all over the country with his guitar and songbook,
performing for orphans and the elderly, until someone suggested he wasn't so
much a professional con-man as someone who traveled the country performing
songs for orphans and the elderly. Disillusioned, he gave up music and
moved into stand-up comedy, but his off-beat antics as The Utterly Silent,
Completely Stationary Comic Who Does Nothing were not well received by
arrival of the internet brought fresh hope, however, and Christopher quickly
capitalized on the new phenomenon, writing his first book, entitled: Electronic
Mail And Why You'll Never Need It. He also invested heavily in
ePork-blob.com, apparently having forgotten his earlier failures.
Christopher became a temp, and the rest, as they say, is the stuff that
happened after that. He currently lives in a one-room pencil-case in the
San Francisco Bay Area, acts as a staff writer for Not My Desk, and plans his next move:
developing "Take-a-twenty/Leave-a-twenty" trays for upscale
out more about Christopher by reading the interviews at these fine sites:
/ lanceandeskimo.com /
Lady has been an integral part
of Not My Desk since joining the team for Fitness
Week back in October of 2000. Her
expertise in facial musculature and subcutaneous tissue has proved
invaluable to the rest of the staff. Her skin is smooth, youthful,
and wrinkle-free in appearance, and if you haven't seen her musculus
corrugator glabellae, then, my friend, you haven't seen any
musculus corrugator glabellae.
her origins remain shrouded in mystery, in fact, no one even knows her real
name. Despite this, the vaguely European Facebuilding Lady is a major
contributor to the site, not just through her hard work but also in keeping
morale up by finding time to contort her face for anyone who asks.
Bob is a small plastic toy that was added to the staff in July of
2000, when he took part in the Office
Playground review. Since then, the plastic representation of
a man catching a wave has remained faithfully glued to his computer
monitor. Literally. He's attached with adhesive. Still,
he's an inspiration to the lead writer, who sits and absent-mindedly
stares at him while trying to think up new ways to turn an non-incident
with a squeaky office chair into a 1,900 word comedy tour-de-force.
Bob's hobbies include surfing and becoming slowly covered with dust.
is, uh, me. I'm C. Thomas Howell. Umm... hi. They, uh,
didn't write a bio for me like they did with everyone else, I guess.
Weird. Maybe they forgot. So, I guess I gotta write one
myself, or something. Um, anyway, I'm C. Thomas Howell, and I was in
this movie, The Outsiders, which starred a bunch of guys, and they
all went on to become totally famous. Like, Tom Cruise. He was
in that, and he hardly did anything. I think he stuffed cake in his
face in one scene, but that's about it. And he's way famous
now! And my part was way bigger than his! Can you believe
that? I was Ponyboy, by the way. In the movie. Ponyboy
is a funny name, heh, I know, but that's how it was in the book and
everything. Anyway, Tom Cruise never calls me or wants to hang
out. Also, I sent him my script for The Outsiders Two: Ponyboy Becomes a
Rich Famous Astronaut, but I guess maybe he's still
Also, Patrick Swayze was
in the movie, and he's really famous and stuff now too. You should
see his house, it's huge! I saw it on a Barbara Walters special one
And, Emilio Estevez was
in it. Or his brother. One of them, anyway. They're both
really famous now, and busy, which is probably why they don't want to hang
out on Superbowl Sunday. Maybe they lost the invitations I sent
them. I made them with Microsoft Greetings 2000, which is a cool
Anyway, I've been making
movies, still, movies like Lawless: Dead Evidence and Dead Fire and
Fatal Affair. Also, I was in a movie called Hot Boyz.
Man. I can't believe I was in a movie called Hot Boyz.
Just shoot me in the head, please.
Anyway, I got this job
here at Not My Desk, so we'll see. They kind of ignore me, pretty
much, like, they didn't write my bio. They wrote one for a plastic
toy, but not for me. I had to do it myself. But I
said that already.