SWM TEMP ISO JOB
best part of any newspaper is the personal ads. Especially the
"Missed Connections" section.
Connections are written by people who have had a brief encounter with
someone else, but never got their name or number and desperately want to
get in touch with them. Here's one from SFWeekly:
Sams Friday (3/2). You: tall, handsome, light colored
hair. Me: dark brown hair, ponytail. We shared a great
smile. Wish we could have met. EXT#143577
always seem very unlikely to work, especially since most of them are even
less descriptive and more vague than that one. Why, just look at
these other ads I found in the same paper!
THESE NEXT ONES ARE NOT REAL ADS, BUT INSTEAD HIGHLY EXAGGERATED HUMOROUS
FUNNY COMEDY ONES I MADE UP BECAUSE WILD EXAGGERATION MEANS FUNNY COMEDY
Center: You: working in ticket booth, brown hair, freckles. Me:
Tourist, black hair, bought four tickets. Remember? You told
me to enjoy the park and smiled. I did and would love to tell you
about it! EXT#10922
Talked To You For An Hour (3/15) You had blonde hair, wore yellow
skirt, you didn't say a word! Shy? You were standing outside
the Oakland School for the Deaf and Blind. Would love to hear your
story next time! EXT#14222
Park Memorial Hospital (4/1/80). You: Newly born infant, pink,
covered in slime. Me: Doctor who delivered you, brown hair,
mask. You had nice eyes, figure you must be 21 by now. Drinks?
& Market (3/7). Me: The Taylor Street Strangler, You:
Arresting officer. You pounded my groin with your billy club and
maced me. Thought I sensed a connection during the Miranda rights
(you have a great speaking voice!). Sorry I killed your partner and
bit off part of your finger. Can we pick up where we left off?
Kitchen (this morning). You: My wife of 43 years. Me: Your
husband. We ate breakfast across from each other, caught your eye
more than once! Wish I'd gotten your name. We're out of
non-dairy creamer, can you bring some home? EXT#14555
Hotel, New Years Eve. Me: CEO, sivler hair, Armani suiit,
BMW. You: gorgouess brunete, quit beauteful. We kissed ay
midnight and both flet the conectshun, we is meant to bee toegether!
Cna't liv without you. I had my temp type up this ad as sooon as i
g0t beck to the orffice! EXT#(fill in later/ also spellchck!)