First Person Observer

Heroic Mage Not Sure What Quest She Just Bravely Completed

Zeryphesh, Mana Wastes – Emerging from the shadowy underground lair known as Tarroch’s Rift in the Ossean Wastes, an Embermage named Sharpe reported that she had just bravely completed an extremely dangerous quest, though she also reluctantly admitted she was not entirely sure which extremely dangerous quest it was, or what the details of the quest were, exactly.

“I did it,” she said, speaking to reporters and onlookers in Zeryphesh. “I completed a quest, a quest where I was supposed to… do a thing… underground, in a place, with a… a thing. And kill a really big monster thing. Along with a ton of littler monsters. I did that.”

When pressed for details about the quest, Sharpe reluctantly admitted she was unsure of the specifics.

“I met a guy in a desert. He asked me to do something, and I agreed immediately, but I’m not sure I was really listening to what he was saying. You know, it’s what I do, someone needs something and I say yes, and I go do it,” she said.

“After I met the guy I saw some stairs in the desert, leading down, so I went down, and there were a million monsters,” she continued, “and I killed them all, and then there was like this altar-lookin’ thing, that looked like a gem might fit into it. And I looked in my pockets and I had a gem thing that I don’t remember getting, but I think maybe the guy in the desert gave it to me. So, I put the gem in the thing, and a giant skeleton monster appeared, and I killed it. And I was done. And I went back to the guy later and he said something and gave me, I dunno, some magic pants, which I gave to my magic bird.”

“My magic bird sold the pants,” she added, when asked about the pants.

While unsure of the exact details of this quest, Sharpe was at least certain that it wasn’t her main quest, which so far has taken her from being a low-level Embermage in the The Estherian Steppes to a powerful sorcerer in the Mana Wastes, though she also she admitted she isn’t entirely sure of the finer details of her primary adventure, either.

“Yeah, you know, this is a little embarrassing, but I’m not even really sure what my main quest is, either,” Sharpe said. “There’s some kinda Alchemist or something, and I’m trying to get him, I think. Some nice giant bird monster was telling me in town, that… look, I don’t know, and I don’t really have time to pretend to explain it,” she concluded, before comparing three sets of magic shoulder plates, then giving the lesser two sets to her magic bird, who sold them.

In related regional news, a Dessicated Warrior is confident that seventy-six years of hiding in an urn in the desert is going to pay off any day now.

“I think I hear someone coming,” he said, clutching his saber tightly. “If they smash this urn, I’m gonna pop right out. It’s gonna be great.”

Comments

  1. Yep. That’s my experience with both of the Torchlights. I love those games, they’re my favourite ARPGs of all time, but I’ll be buggered if I know what the hell the overall narrative is. :D

  2. Citizen McQuestgiver says:

    I remember that woman! I tried to explain how the giant skeleton tied to my somewhat unsettling and mildy annoying nightmares, but it was as she sort of, you know, skipped through the conversation. Afterwards I gave her the trousers I’ve put all my craftsmanship in and she gave it to a bird?!

  3. Heroic Berserker says:

    HEY

    I literally did a quest the other day where I killed a bunch of little monsters then a big skeleton.

    Did you screw me over Citizen McQuestGiver?

    Did I risk my life for NOTHING?

  4. Citizen McQuestgiver says:

    Well to be fair the nightmares have been reduced to mere nightponies (Ha ha!) now. And don’t tell me those socks I rewarded you with were not worth the trouble!