First Person Observer

Heroic Mage Not Sure What Quest She Just Bravely Completed

An Embermage named Sharpe reported that she had just bravely completed an extremely dangerous quest, though she also reluctantly admitted she was not entirely sure which extremely dangerous quest it was, or what the details of the quest were, exactly.

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Featured | Opinion

Our Twenty-Third Attempt At Building A Utopian City Is Certain To Succeed!

An editorial by Horace P. Dunwoody, Developer and Industrialist

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Featured | Lifestyle

Businessman Beginning to Regret Opening Hotel in Limbo

Lack of guests may be result of horror, death

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Featured | Lifestyle

Seminar On Improving Doorway Navigation Skills Delayed By Doorway

Attendees walk in place, exchange pleasantries for long hours

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Featured | Local

Assassin Experiences Ancestor’s Memories, Connection Problems

Animus 2.0 requires constant connection to server

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Featured | World

Millionaire Archaeologist Lara Croft Dead In Apparent Suicide

Famed, frustrated archeologist tragically drowns self

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Local

Unlike Horses, New "Motorized Wagon" Essentially Theft-Proof

As a newfangled mechanical contraption known as a “motorized wagon” arrived in Blackwater today, local officials heralded a new age wherein the wanton theft of personal conveyances would finally be at an end.

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World

World of Goo Corporation Criticized For Massive Goo Spill

The World of Goo Corporation is being heavily criticized for what some are calling lackluster efforts to contain a massive Goo spill that is threatening the environment, and possibly even the internet.

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World

Millions Of Farmers Cited For Overcrowding, Neglect of Livestock

Animal rights activists gathered today to protest against millions of farmers, citing dangerously overcrowded farms and inhumane living conditions for livestock and other animals.

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Local

Test Subject Thinks Portal Gun Makes Her Ass Look Big

A female test subject, freshly awakened from a relaxation vault in a secret underground laboratory, has begun to wonder if the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device she is testing makes her ass look big.

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