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Assassin Experiences Ancestor’s Memories, Connection Problems

Venice, Italy — An assassin attempting to relive the experiences of his Italian ancestor, using a device known as an Animus, has reported repeated connection problems that he says are hampering his progress.

Desmond Miles, an assassin, has been using a device known as the Animus 2.0, which allows him to experience the genetic memories of his ancestor, Ezio Auditore da Firenze, another assassin who lived in the late 1400’s. However, the Animus 2.o requires a constant connection the servers of Abstergo Industries, and maintaining that connection has been routinely troublesome for Miles.

“It’s frustrating, definitely” said Miles, as his connection was dropped for the fifth time that day. “When I lose my connection, I lose all the progress I’ve made, and I have to wait for the connection to reestablish itself before I can continue.”

“I could understand if I were engaging in some kind of some multi-assassin mode, where between two and twenty-four assassins were all connecting to the same server at the same time, to relive memories together. Then, yeah, it would make sense to have to be constantly connected to the Abstergo server.”

“But this is a single-assassin experience. The memories are all contained in Animus 2.0, and I’m in the lab, connected to it legitimately… it seems stupid to have to be constantly connected to Abstergo’s server as well.”

Abstergo Industries has stated their strict policy of Digital Restriction of Memories, or DRM, is in place to prevent unregistered assassins from reliving their own ancestors’ genetic memories, though many genuine assassins, like Miles, complain that they are the ones having to deal with the connection problems.

“Meanwhile, some unregistered 13-year-old assassin has a pirated version of the Animus 2.0, that he got for free, and he doesn’t have to deal with this at all,” Miles said bitterly. “I’m an actual assassin and I’m being treated like a criminal.”

“I never had this problem with the original Animus,” he added. “Though those memories weren’t as much fun to relive. They were a little repetitive.”


  1. Hmmm, so UBI is the game/media branch of Abstergo? That makes a LOT of sense, actually.

    And the article is brilliant, by the way. I had a few problems with Animus 2.0 myself, but unlike Miles, I mostly enjoyed the original Animus – perhaps more than 2.0, if you count the connectivity issues.

  2. Miss Vera Hamilton says:

    You are brilliant and I desire to bear your offspring.

  3. U-boat Captain says:

    Ja, I have a similar problem. I might be days out of port, ready to fire my torpedoes on a British convoy, and suddenly my U-boat loses connection with Ein Führer Server and I teleport back to base! It’s like the last several days never happened!

  4. I heard that GDI generals had a similar problem when trying to send orders to their troops in the field.

  5. Niko Bellic says:

    You think that is bad? When I came to Liberty City I lost control of my hands and driven into wall.

  6. Sgt. Avery Johnson says:

    This is what happens when you rely on technology.

    Back in my day we had sticks and a rock between a whole platoon.
    And we had to SHARE the rock.

  7. fun fact says:

    actually, assassin’s creed: brotherhood WILL have a muliplayer mode. go figure.

  8. Richard Dawkins says:

    This is the best article so far. Continually impressed with the site


  10. Kazooie says:

    Oh darn, you have to stay connected to become an assassin. Boohoo. Try spending your entire life crammed inside a backpack, then you can come crying to me.

  11. This platform has experienced similar problems. Connection to the Geth often cuts out when Shepard Commander takes us on a mission. Or when Pilot Joker hogs the extranet bandwidth to view images and videos involving organic reproduction.

    Latest incident of connection loss was caused by Pilot Joker downloading over 3 Terabytes of video involving Asari/Hanar relations. This platform has no comment.

  12. Gary Sanderson says:

    I once covertly infiltrated a Russian airbase in Kazakhstan without alerting or directly killing any of the guards, but I apparently wasn’t connected to some form of steam or whatever at the time, so I had to do it again a week later.

  13. Not a Templar says:

    I, uh, don’t suppose you have the location of this particular Animus?

  14. The Heavy says:

    These little baby assassins with their little baby connections.

  15. I have the same problem with the portal gun. If I want to be able to save my progress and use it with another portal gun, I have to be connected to GLaDOS’s server. I can go offline, sure but that gets pretty glitchy.

  16. Dr. Warren Vidic says:

    Desmond! We miss you terribly. There’s still so much work for us to do together.
    Quickly, my minions, retrieve Ms. Stillman and Mr. Desmond.
    …No, don’t use GUNS! Put those down! Gah, give me those…
    Pathetic fools, here, use these toy swords. Silence! Use the toy swords! I am a doctor! I am the boss!

  17. Oh so YOUR the Desmond guy the god person… thing was talking about/to somehow. Also whats an Animus?

  18. Shaun Hastings says:

    Oh Boo Hoo, Desmond. God forbid the golden boy of the Assassins can’t make himself useful. I myself uncovered several hidden Templar messages between many world leaders, including Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, and even Hitler. Who knew Ford was this anti-semitic?

  19. Uncle Mario says:

    It’s a me, Mario!

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  22. The eagle says:

    So… this is the future that sucks my sword does not have to be connected to a blacksmith so why make it like that Idiocracy

  23. A templar. says:

    You can’t hear me, but I’m laughing evily now.

  24. Great Story! *Bookmarks this site*

  25. FREE ANIMUS – http://google.com

  26. Sam Fisher says:

    I had a similar problem. At least I had a multiplayer mode, but I wasn’t even in that, so screw those bastards. Want to join me in tracking them down by taking out dozens of identical henchmen ridiculously easily and then jumping and climbing over things sneakily?


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