Allenhurst, New Jersey — Police today questioned a mysterious, possibly malevolent agent known only as G-Man as part of their investigation into the latest disappearance of M.I.T. graduate, professor of theoretical physics, and former Black Mesa Research Facility employee Gordon Freeman. Last seen in October of 2007, Freeman has a history of disappearances that have twice before been linked to G-Man, though the pale, gaunt humanoid has stated for the record that he has nothing to do with Freeman’s most recent disappearance.
“I… didn’t do it,” he told police investigators outside his Allenhurst apartment, his odd, halting speech pattern hinting at a possible alien origin. “This tiiiiime, it wasn’t… me.”
“Yessssss, I ad-mit in the past I was re-spons-ible for spir-iting away Mr. Free-man into a limbo of my own de-vising, but I have no innnn-formation as to hisssss… current where-abouts.”
Authorities were quick to suspect G-Man’s involvement, based on the history between he and the surprisingly durable and combat-savvy scientist. Freeman’s first disappearance occurred in late 1998, when G-Man claims Freeman voluntarily entered limbo after accepting a job offer. Freeman resurfaced some years later in City 17, where he led a rebel assault against the Combine and the traitorous Dr. Wallace Breen before once again slipping into the darkness of G-Man’s stasis portal. G-Man has stated that this second abduction was perpetrated in an effort to save Freeman from an massive explosion atop the Citadel.
Freeman, left, and age-progression software showing how he might look today.
Freeman’s most recent disappearance was reported by his friend and colleague, Dr. Isaac Kleiner, who stated that the famed scientist-turned-savior was last seen shortly after helping launch a rocket from a secret White Forest base in Eastern Europe, in an attempt to close the Combine super-portal that threatened to allow a deluge of alien forces to enter our dimension.
“After we closed the portal, Gordon and Alyx Vance were preparing to fly a helicopter to the mysterious Borealis research vessel located in the Arctic,” Kleiner said. “Then, well… some terribly unfortunate events occurred. Since then, I haven’t seen Gordon at all. The helicopter is still sitting there. But Gordon is missing. It’s like he just vanished.”
“I think the world at large is impatient to know his whereabouts, and when he might return,” Kleiner continued. “We all just want some closure. We have a number of questions. And we certainly did not expect to have to wait quite this long for the answers.”
G-Man is insistent, however, that he has nothing to do with this latest disappearance and has no information on Freeman’s current location.
“Look,” he told police, adjusting his tie. “I’m co-oper-ating, here. I’m co-oper-ating. Do… you want to search my a-partment? Do you want to… ssssearch my limbo?”
G-Man showed police around his small, one-bedroom apartment on Euclid Avenue, then opened a door in the very fabric of space-time, allowing police to peer inside the black netherworld of limbo.
“Looks clean,” one investigator said, examining the inky gloom of the temporal stasis field with the beam of his flashlight. “He’s not in here.”
Police then attempted to question G-Man about the disappearance of U.S. Marine Corporal Adrian Shepard, who has been missing since November of 1999. “I’m not say-ing annnn-other thing with-out my lawyer… pres-ent,” G-Man said, then walked around the side of his apartment, out of sight of investigators.
Following him, police were not terribly surprised to see he had vanished.
Aw hell, Gordon! Please come back! We miss ya buddy!
That guy is still VERY overdue on paying his rent for the limbo space. Other species need it too you know. I’ve got other clients that are very eager for limbo space to temporarily store invasion fleets.
I keep seeing that G-Man fellow around my current top secret workplace. Is this a good sign?
I’m afraid that Dr. Freeman just happened to be in a wrong place and got into some serious trouble. But why they didn’t start searching for him in the White Forest using police dogs? Duh, they even have a robotic one in a rocket base nearby!
Since Dr. Freeman went missing, I’ve found myself standing around in the same general place. Ocasionally I’ll think up a witty quip, but no-one has quite the same reation to my jokes as Dr. Freeman.
There’s nothing to do around here without you, Dr. Freeman. Please come back!
…
This guy has been showing up at my advanced chemicals department. I thought he was scouting some of the students, but now I’m concerned for the safety of my faculty. Would it be worth looking into a restraining order? I’ll have campus security keep a tab on him.
Dr. Alfred Smies, Harvard School For Last Minute Advances In Technology Capable of Defeating Vast Alien Armies.
Oh Lawd. I knew you’d come back to do something interesting after Concerned.
I miss having no one to be polite to, I remember when we’d be in the middle of a fierce firefight and WHAM! “Pardon me Dr. Freeman”
Good times
Good riddance. Citizen Freeman wouldn’t listen whenever I yelled ‘HALT’ or ‘STOP’, or even when I hit him with my stun-stick. I saw him bludgeon my partner, Combine Metropolitan Officer 2572, to death with a crowbar. Yet citizens worship this inferior sighted monster.
“Oh Lawd. I knew you’d come back to do something interesting after Concerned.”
Well it is pretty decent that you enjoyed a good biography, are you sure you’re placing the attribution of the author on the wrong person? This is a newspaper. While being interested in the news is normal, you seem to have a morbid fascination.
I remember seeing that G-Man fellow around my limbo apartment. Is the the owner of them, or something? I’m afraid to let my children out when he’s there…
….
I’ve called Gordon a fag, what more can I do?
I’ve seen the G-Man guy in Dustbowl. I think he crit hacks or something. Hopefully the police bring him to justice.
Hold on is that the creepy fellow i saw walking around black mesa He was such a jack ass to Shepard closing the doors to the escape route still do not know where that prick freeman is.
Combine command once tasked me with chasing him, but I couldn’t keep up! It’s like he has no legs or something. He NEVER gets tired.
Finally. With that bastard being arrested, I can finally get out of his shitty limbo and those boring roommates. Mr. Elvis here is a complete dumbass and Amelia Earhart is no fun at all. He really needs to redecorate his place anyways.
Seeing the comments, the joke WHOOSHED right over everyone’s head.
I’d love to see the investigation come to a close, hopefully Gordon Freeman isn’t dead and this story will have a happy ending. However, 3 years is a long time to not be seen and still be alive… Any leads?
Ah, I remember Dr. Freeman. He helped me save White Forest from the combine invasion. He used my Magnusson Device to destroy the striders the combine sent. I’d like to see him again before I die of old age, and I hope someone finds him soon!
I’m glad to see this paper shedding some light on the G-man’s sinister activities, but there’s a lot of information left out here. Did you know that Dr. Freeman wasn’t the only person to disappear from White Forest that day? Poor Dr. Kleiner’s headcrab “Heady” Lamarr went missing around the same time, and I have also lost touch with a very good gnome friend of mine since then. It was the G-man who got them, I just know it!
Since they weren’t mentioned in the article, I’m going to describe the other missing persons here: The gnome is about eighteen inches tall and devilishly handsome, with a beard and a permanent cherubic smile. Lamarr looks just like your garden-variety headcrab (don’t worry–she’s spayed), and a is little shy. If any of you reading this have information that could help us find them, please contact either me or Dr. Kleiner.
“I’m co-oper-ating, here. I’m co-oper-ating. Do… you want to search my a-partment? Do you want to… ssssearch my limbo?”
=D
Wow. That Gordon guy sure looks like House.
Did they check Alyx’s bedroom?
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…He’s finally gone? Good Riddance.
The prick stole MY gravity gun.
(P.S YEOWCH my head still hurts from that fall I had. Someone remind me to pack cushions next time when I go travelling. I hear Dustbowl is a pretty nice place.)
to the GLaDOS impersonator in the comments, well played sir
We remember the Frohman; we run quickly in the other direction.
[whispers in his ear]
Oh! Freeman! no idea
@cs: Why thank you, kind sire.
And god-DAYM am I pissed that Freeman guy’s gone. Nerd walked into my bar one night; shouts “YO! Imma buy y’all a beer!” and the folk’s all like “Cool, drinks on the house!”. Seemed to have been in a couple other bars already, if you catch my drift. So dude walks into the bathroom next and waddya know – he’d ended up bailing out through the window and entering the storage area at the back. How do I know? That bastard had broken all my beverage crates with a crowbar or some pipe and made off with most of it! How can a guy even carry so much stuff for Christ’s sake, his weirdo shiny suit didn’t even have pockets?! He also somehow managed to take my fire extinguisher and the first aid supplies I keep back there. But the crates, damn it, I just got delivered that in the morning!
Oh yeah, I’m waiting for that Freeman guy to show up. He owes me SOME beer!
@Spooks: You might want to speak with Officer Calhoun about your beer, apparently he’s handling Dr. Freeman’s alcohol supplies these days.
WAIT, THIS ISN’T MY GUNS AND HAIRCUTS MAGAZINE! WHAT THE HELL?
Reload, Doctor Freeman!
He’s gone, huh? Only a matter of time. I told him to be adequate. Not so adequate, now, huh?
I still don’t know what that means. Anyone got a dictionary?
@Veret
I seem to recall having seen your little buddy at the Whispering Oaks. I think we may have left him at Kiddyland. I can’t rightly seem to remember. Maybe it’s all the pills and adrenaline.
-El
There’s something oddly familiar about that guy with the suitcase. Prepare for unforseen consequenses? No shit. :(
P.S, Barney, I don’t know where you are right now, but here’s hope for your safety.
Im grateful for the article post.Thanks Again. Really Great.
Oh shit, forgot where I hided him!
To Gordon Freeman, if you are reading this: If you are in a bloody, rusty, monster-filled version of the place you grew up, don’t panic, I think I know where you are and what happened to you. Go to a place called “Lakeside Amusement Park”, which is marked on your map, and find a contact sheet. Call the number written on it. You are not alone.
To everyone else; if you or someone you know has been missing from the face of the Earth, and is looking to reach your daughter/ex-wife/father/apartment door, please contact the Harry Mason Clinic for Disturbed Inter-Dimensional Horror Survivors.
Maybe he is just…in a better place.
Muwaha, haha, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
I was like hanging there, just finished with that Eli guy, ready for the main dish, and he like totally disappeared before my eyes. I mean, I went to all that trouble to catch him, and he just disappear like that. How in the world is that fair? We advisors have feelings too. How would you feel if this tasty-looking guy in a strange orange suit showed up, killed all your friends with a crowbar, blew up your home, lead your soldiers on a wild goose chase around an enormous forest infested with monsters, launched a rocket to kill the remnants of your species and close the only portal that leads to your home dimension, and when you finally get your hands on him, ready for revenge and a juicy meal, some dude in a suit shows up and teleports him out of there? I’m telling you, this so-called “g-man” should be shot, hanged, cut into a thousand pieces, burned, prepared in a delicious indian curry, and eaten. It just ain’t fair.