World

World of Goo Corporation Criticized For Massive Goo Spill

World of Goo Corporation Headquarters — The World of Goo Corporation is being heavily criticized for what some are calling lackluster efforts to contain a massive Goo spill that is threatening the environment, and possibly even the internet.

Efforts to contain the Goo have had limited success, and many are questioning the methods being used by the WGC to collect the wayward Goo balls.

“The Corporation is doing little, if anything, to capture and contain the spilled Goo,” one expert said. “Yes, it’s true, they have set up intake pipes in certain locations, and it is also true that the Goo balls themselves seem quite intent on reaching those pipes and being sucked into Goo storage containers.”

“What we’re seeing, however, is that the Corporation is placing their intake pipes at great distances from the Goo spills, making it a challenge for the Goo to be collected. In some instances, it initially seems impossible for the Goo to reach the pipes.”

“There was this one huge pit that I never thought the Goo would never be able to cross,” he added. “But they eventually figured it out. That Goo is pretty clever.”

Even when some Goo does manage to reach the pipes, however, there are still massive, sticky Goo bridges, towers, ladders, and other unstable, wobbly structures that are left behind. The environmental impact of the remaining, uncollected Goo is still unknown, and some wildlife sanctuaries, such as Fisty’s Bog, have been severely polluted. The large, gray toad the bog is named after appeared quite ill, possibly due to the massive bridge of Goo that now extends from its mouth.

The Goo spill, originally thought to be quite small, seems to be spreading faster and farther than initially estimated. Some witnesses have reported seeing Goo floating through the air attached to balloons, headed for distant lands, and recent reports indicate that the Goo may have even digitized and spilled into the internet, where it threatens to corrupt the entire Information Superhighway.

Environmental experts say there is no real way to completely prevent the spread of Goo at this point, short of traveling back in time.

“Unfortunately, at this late date, with the spread of Goo so profound, you’d have to pop a time bug the size of Delaware to travel that far back in time,” said one scientist. “And they just don’t grow that big.”

“It suppose could be worse,” another expert offered. “I mean, the Goo balls are really quite adorable.”

“If our planet is going to be smothered in a black, sticky substance, at least it’s darn cute.”

Comments

  1. Yamacko!

  2. Green Goo says:

    They, they… they used me for bridges… and, and, and towers and stuff… repeatedly… they touched me.

  3. Cory Doctorow says:

    NO NOT THE INTERNET NOT MY PRECIOUS INTERNET

  4. Brilliant!

  5. Corexit doesn’t work on the … … darned stuff

  6. Can I get a Live feed of the spill?

  7. The Sign Painter says:

    All for the sake of progress.

    Sincerely,
    -The Sign Painter

  8. Red Goo Ball says:

    Please! No! Dont let them touch me! Ill be a good goo ball! Pleeease! No spikes!

  9. J. Denton says:

    Do not be alarmed, the goo is working to police your interests and your freedoms. Based on the only attempt at communication, the goo in question seems to be aliied with United Nations Antiterrorist COalition, since they chant the orginizations name with (frankly worrying) enthusiasm. Rest easy, unless you happen to be part sof a terrorist organisation, in which case you should probably worry. And plant lots of mines in unserpervised areas, that’ll help.

  10. Dear Goo,

    Please come home.

    Love,
    MOM

  11. Telescope operator says:

    The last of the gooballs did not seem to know that the humans were clogging the pipes but even clogged in the pipe they still look delicious

    sincerely
    the hungry telescope operator

  12. The Prince of Persia says:

    Wow those time bugs make my dagger look pitiful…

  13. Problem Solver says:

    Try forcing them into a junkyard themed level. That’ll stop em dead.

  14. The goo looks like oil. Bush is responsible for all oil-related problems. Therefore, Bush is responsible for this goo-spreading disaster. Impeach him!

    …oh, wait. He’s out of office, isn’t he?

  15. Mavis Beacon says:

    You put an “it” where there should be an “I” in the second to last paragraph.

  16. Dr. ROCKZO says:

    So what does this mean for me, the goo investor?

  17. Multi-Colored Goo says:

    So that’s where my friends went! Oh well at least it’s not… Hey! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ME!!! HELP!!!

  18. Turning back time is easy…..after some practice you can go back through whole levels; I wonder why they haven’t tried it yet?

  19. A. Krogan says:

    I hope this spill won’t kill all the fish on the Citadel. Commander Shepard caught me one the other day, and it was delicious.

  20. Commander Shepard says:

    glad you liked the fish

  21. Francis says:

    I hate fish.

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