Featured | Opinion

Our Twenty-Third Attempt At Building A Utopian City Is Certain To Succeed!

Icarus01

An editorial by Horace P. Dunwoody, Developer and Industrialist

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Featured | Lifestyle

Businessman Beginning to Regret Opening Hotel in Limbo

limbohotel

Lack of guests may be result of horror, death

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Featured | Lifestyle

Seminar On Improving Doorway Navigation Skills Delayed By Doorway

jam

Attendees walk in place, exchange pleasantries for long hours

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Featured | Local

Assassin Experiences Ancestor’s Memories, Connection Problems

animus

Animus 2.0 requires constant connection to server

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Featured | World

Millionaire Archaeologist Lara Croft Dead In Apparent Suicide

croft

Famed, frustrated archeologist tragically drowns self

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Local

Unlike Horses, New "Motorized Wagon" Essentially Theft-Proof

rdr car

As a newfangled mechanical contraption known as a “motorized wagon” arrived in Blackwater today, local officials heralded a new age wherein the wanton theft of personal conveyances would finally be at an end.

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World

World of Goo Corporation Criticized For Massive Goo Spill

goo

The World of Goo Corporation is being heavily criticized for what some are calling lackluster efforts to contain a massive Goo spill that is threatening the environment, and possibly even the internet.

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World

Millions Of Farmers Cited For Overcrowding, Neglect of Livestock

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Animal rights activists gathered today to protest against millions of farmers, citing dangerously overcrowded farms and inhumane living conditions for livestock and other animals.

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Local

Test Subject Thinks Portal Gun Makes Her Ass Look Big

portalbutt

A female test subject, freshly awakened from a relaxation vault in a secret underground laboratory, has begun to wonder if the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device she is testing makes her ass look big.

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Local

Gotham’s Legendary Crime-Fighter Gradually Learns to Fight Crime

batman

Legendary Gotham City crime-fighter Batman, after years of vigilante service combating thugs, monsters, and super villains, gradually learned a number of basic crime-fighting moves while dealing with the Joker’s recent takeover of Arkham Asylum.

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